The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Ch

By Harriet Lerner

In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins
• Release date: Sep 24, 2002
• ISBN: 9780061741074

Harriet Lerner

Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.

Reviews for The Dance of Intimacy

[sonorandreamer-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

All relationship involves a given level of anxiety. Often we manage the anxiety either through over-functioning and pursuing or through under-functioning and distancing. Both actions are reactive to the anxiety in the relationship, rather than self-defining, and undermine our attempts to understand who we and the other person actually are. We can't change other people, but we can set boundaries and limits as to how much negative behavior we will tolerate as well as minimums concerning intimacy. Often we create emotional triangles (family systems theory) with third parties in order to avoid facing the anxiety. It is better to have separate relationships with individuals rather than to get caught up in triangles.

[rayski_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Discusses relationship, the roles people take within them, triangles and the importance of maintaining one’s self. Talks about ‘over-functioning and under-functioning people and how their roles effect 1-2-1 relationships and impacts on triangles. You can get lots out of this book to help you deal with relationships whether it be with family, friends or partners.