Dating Makes You Want to Die: (But You Have to Do It Anyway)

By Daniel Holloway and Dorothy Robinson

You have two choices:

Be attacked by a wolverine or go on a date

If you're smart, you chose wolverine.

If not—well, wait, are you sure you don't want the wolverine?

Happily ever after isn't so easy anymore. It's all speed dating, matchmaking terror, and visits to your therapist. Whether it's the mortification, frustration, or just plain exhaustion that's got you ready to give up on love, this book is here to help. After all, there are only two ways out of the dating scene. One involves giving up all your possessions and taking a vow of chastity. The other involves finding a permanent (or semi-permanent, anyway) partner. This book will help you get through the latter.

From the bar scenes and the first sexual encounter to deciding whether to move in together, Dating Makes You Want to Die walks you through every stage of the dating process—and, like a Belarusian arms dealer, provides the heavy artillery you'll need to destroy the potential problems lurking in each one. Each chapter discusses the problems that can arise when dating, offers a remedy, and includes hilarious sidebars and quizzes to further help you prepare for the jungle out there. Some sanity-keeping tips include:

• How to make a first impression that is more "good" than "totally crazy."

• How to not panic the moment you realize you're actually in an honest-to-God relationship.

• Helpful, foolproof breakup lines for total damage control.

Intelligent, snarky, and entertaining, Dating Makes You Want to Die may make you actually want to live through a relationship.

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins
• Release date: Oct 6, 2009
• ISBN: 9780061982620

Daniel Holloway

Daniel Holloway is a staff writer for Us Weekly and chief film critic for Metro newspapers.

Reviews for Dating Makes You Want to Die

[seven.stories.press · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Most of the advice involves drinking... and I'd like to think there are better methods. :)

[nitestar_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Reading Dating Makes you Want to Die (But You Have to Do it Anyway) is a wild ride. You just knew that a book with a title like this wasn’t going to be your standard self-help book and thank goodness, the authors lived up to their title.Although I enjoy what is out there on the subject of finding and keeping love, I have to agree that most of it was starting to sound extremely familiar to me – that is, until I read this book.From the very first pages, which solemnly begin with ‘Should you Hate Yourself for Being Single?’ to the aptly named chapters ‘The Internet – Like Real Life but Fakier’, authors Daniel Holloway and Dorothy Robinson have written a hilarious, irreverent and accurate look at what the dating world has become in 2008.Although there is some use of the he said/she said approach (wow! What a surprise – guys and girls think differently) the rest of this book is loaded with pop quizzes, daring advice and very funny ‘what if’ scenarios. Throughout all of this though, there are some basic truths to be found here – even if I don’t necessarily want to admit it (I don’t want to hear that I have to go out there and make IT happen – I want the guy to just come knocking on my door one day – which according to the authors just ain’t going to happen!).This book covers off almost every possible thing you may want to know (or not know) about dating. The writing is not at all scientific and the authors do occasionally use cuss words to get their point across, but it all works well with the spirit of the storyline – so it is not particularly offensive.I found myself laughing out loud so many times and *gasp* agreeing with most of what I was reading – which is always a sure sign that I have found a winner! The authors do actually have a pulse on how hard and harsh it can be to date today – but they make it all seem bearable using humor and an uplifting ‘you can do it’ feel.If you are looking for a serious and dry book on relationships, then this is definitely NOT your type of book – but if you like your self-help with a healthy dose of humor then make sure you buy this one.