The 28 Day Tame Your Temper Parenting Challenge

By Jackie Hall

Have you become one of 'those' parents who just can't seem to keep your cool?

You know - that parent you swore you'd never be.

Completely over backchat, sibling rivalry, kids not listening and an endless list of frustrating childhood moments, thousands of parents shamefully resort to the habit of yelling at their children to get results.

Soon after, comes parental guilt, the fear of ‘messing up your child’s life’ and the feeling of being a lousy parent.
However all of that need not happen anymore. Jackie Hall, Author of The Happy Mum Handbook and parenting life coach who specialises in teaching parents how to raise children stress-free, brings to you:

The 28day Tame your Temper parenting challenge.

Based on the premise that it takes 21 days to break a habit and an extra seven days to reinforce the new habit (to tame your temper) this book will progressively teach you to understand the thinking behind your anger and frustrations, and learn how to adopt a different mindset when approaching the challenges of being a parent.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Apr 8, 2013
• ISBN: 9781626756373

Book preview

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We are often told as mums and dads that in order to avoid getting angry or stressed, we should ‘walk away when angry’ or ‘take time out’. But we’ve heard all this before. I mean, it is valid advice but sometimes it’s not enough to stop those emotional outbursts that most often end in guilt and self-criticism.

What I teach instead is some real tools for identifying the specific thoughts that lie behind your stress, and how to change your mindset so you don’t get consumed by your emotions and your reactions to life’s ups and downs.

Those who are familiar with my work know that I never advocate myself as being a perfect mother with a perfect mindset who never gets stressed by motherhood. Aside of the results I get and the experience I have working with clients suffering with stress, depression and anxiety; what makes me worthy of teaching this information is that I have to apply these very methods to myself every day!

Many of you even know the story from The Happy Mum Handbook where I got so angry one day that I slammed a knife down on the kitchen bench so hard that it bounced off and almost hit my then two-year-old in the head. Not one of my proudest moments, but one of the most influential moments that completely changed the course of my life and led me to being able to teach you how to stop your anger.

The 28 Day Tame Your Temper Challenge was a concept born from my own desire to be a parent with a tamed temper and to stop the habit of yelling when things don’t go my way.

While everyone is different, the idea behind this challenge is that it takes 21 days to break a habit, with a further 7 days to reinforce the new one.

This challenge is about taking 28 days to LEARN how to break the habit of being a parent who tends to yell, shout, or scream the house down.

I highlight the word LEARN because I don’t want you to think that you have failed if you don’t tame your temper for the entire 28 days.

It’s important to remember that we are breaking a habit (to yell and get angry) and learning a new one (to be a calmer parent). Often, when learning a new skill, we do it wrong or make mistakes.  This IS moving towards the goal.

How do we know what to do until we have experienced what NOT to do?

So during this challenge, please be gentle on yourself and recognise that change comes with continual repetition, practice and awareness of what you are doing.  This is how you learnt to walk, talk, use a spoon, run, jump and even think the way that you presently do.

You will learn to tame your temper using the exact same process – repetition, practice and awareness of what you are doing.

Use this book as a daily instruction manual.  You’ll read new information each day. This should only take about 5-10 minutes, depending on how fast you read. You’ll receive the information you need to begin making changes to the way you handle each day’s challenges.

This makes it very easy to incorporate new learning into your day.  Time is never about time, it’s about priorities.  Are you going to make it a priority to keep learning how to tame your temper?

This book is providing you with the tools to change. All you need to do is make it a priority to read the material and apply the information.

YOU MUST CREATE, WRITE AND SIGN A WRITTEN COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF about your intentions for the 28 Day Challenge ( e.g. I commit to actively practising the skill of remaining calm, regardless of what challenges I encounter, and promise to learn from any slip-ups I have.).

• Make your agreement something you are likely to commit to for the 28 days.

• Place this agreement somewhere around the house for you to see often.

• Let others know about your commitment. Ask them to help you keep to this commitment by letting you know when you are starting to ‘lose the plot’.

IF/WHEN YOU DROP THE BALL, YOU MUST LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED AND WHAT YOU WERE THINKING AT THE TIME. Learn from what happened and then write your insights into your daily journal.

a) Knowing you have to write about it gives you accountability and makes you less likely to lose it.

b) Writing about it helps you to learn from the minor detour so you can establish a different way to behave next time.

RECOGNISE YOUR WINS. Keep a journal of all the wins that you have as you recognise them. While it’s important to learn from our mistakes, it is equally important to recognise your wins and give yourself a pat on the back.

It is quite common for most of us to go back to old habits and to slip up when trying to change one.  This may happen a few times.....or a lot, to begin with. As mentioned, this is not an indication of failure.  The important thing to remember is that if you do drop the ball, be sure to learn from it. Look at what was happening for you at the time. Use what you have learnt so far in your daily reading to understand what happened to cause your anger and what you might do differently next time.

This challenge has been specifically designed for you to have a progressive, gradient approach to taming your temper.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. It took some time to create the thinking that lies behind your angry reactions and it’s going to take some time for you to retrain the brain to react differently.  However, the good news is that the brain is very clever and can do this rather quickly. It’s really quite simple. The more you apply the information you learn, the quicker the brain learns to form the habit of taming your temper.

Each week has been separated into stages of learning and growth, with each week adding onto the previous one. This progressive approach gives you the skills needed to get better and better at taming your temper.

WEEK ONE -

UNDERSTANDING YOUR ANGER

We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge. We need to become aware of where we are presently before we can begin to change it.

This week is about explaining the real cause of your anger/frustration and how to recognise the specific