You Carried Me: A Daughter’s Memoir

Written by Melissa Ohden

Narrated by Melissa Ohden

What happens when an abortion survivor finds her birth mother, who never knew her daughter was alive?

Winner, 2018 Christianity Today Book Award, CT Women Silver Medal Winner, 2018 Illumination Book Awards, Biography & Memoir

Melissa Ohden is fourteen when she learns she is the survivor of a botched abortion. In this intimate memoir she details for the first time her search for her biological parents, and her own journey from anger and shame to faith and empowerment.

After a decade-long search Melissa finally locates her birth father and writes to extend forgiveness, only to learn that he has died without answering her burning questions. Melissa becomes a mother herself in the very hospital where she was aborted. This experience transforms her attitude toward women who have had abortions, as does the miscarriage of her only son and the birth of a second daughter with complex health issues. But could anything prepare her for the day she finally meets her birth mother and hears her side of their story?

This intensely personal story of love and redemption illumines the powerful bond between mother and child that can overcome all odds.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Plough Publishing House
• Release date: Jan 21, 2020
• ISBN: 9780874863475

Reviews for You Carried Me

[lvmygrdn · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is an Early Reviewers Review.I think the author Melissa Ohden's story of how she came into this world and survived is amazing. She is the survivor of a botched abortion. How the doctors didn't know how far along her mom was in her pregnancy boggles my mind. My rating is lower than the majority. I found the "anti-abortion' political message took over the short book.

[bevfuller · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I won a copy of "You Carried Me: A Daughter's Memoir" on LibraryThing. This book is amazing and beautiful.

[teachlz · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I would like to thank LibraryThing and Plough Publishing House for the edition of "You Carried Me" A Daughter's Memoir by Melissa Ohden. Melissa Ohden is a young teenager when she learns that she is the survivor of a botched abortion. It seems that her biological mother was in a later stage of pregnancy than was thought. Using a saline solution to terminate pregnancy in surviors can cause serious abnormalities.Luckily Melissa is healthy and adopted by a loving family. Melissa's goal is to find out who her biological parents are and why they wanted to abort her rather than find an adoptive home. She researches and tries to find them. Melissa does meet other abortion survivors, some with major disabilities. As Melissa matures, and gets married she continues to research and does find the names and sends letters to both her biological parents.Melissa has a daughter, and soon after miscarries,losing a son.Melissa is religious and speaks at functions against abortion.At times, she is asked to show who an abortion survivor is. There are frustrations and obstacles to getting the answers that are meaningful to Melissa. Melissa shows us that love, hope and faith are important in her life.

[jsbancroft · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I found the story compelling. Melissa's birth mother intended to abort her, but she survived (without either of her birth parents' knowledge), and was adopted. At 14, she learned the truth of her birth, and spiraled into PTSD-induced, self-destructive behavior. A willingness to let God be in charge, a loving husband, and the consistent support of her adopted parents brings Melissa to the point where she not only learns to love herself, but to love and forgive all of those involved in the failed abortion that gave her life. Melissa obviously has an agenda; that's not a criticism, just an important fact of which to be aware when reading this book. This should be required reading for anyone involved in social justice, no matter their personal views on abortion. The author is unapologetically (and unsurprisingly) anti-abortion, and presents a compelling argument why pro-choice is not pro-women. Will this book change anyone's mind? It's possible, given the sincerity of Melissa's writing style. She raises issues that I, to be honest, had not considered or fully examined, and I appreciate being able to more thoroughly consider my own position on this important and divisive topic.

[sallylou61 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is the story of a woman who survived abortion; her mother had an unsuccessful abortion. The first part of the book is very compelling, telling of Melissa's discovery that she was aborted and her struggles because of it. Although she had a very loving adoptive family, she had issues with eating, alcohol, and promiscuous sex as a teenager. In college many people did not believe her story about her birth. As an adult, in addition to searching for her birth family, Melissa became very involved with the pro-life movement, both with the Feminists for Life (FFL) and the Susan B. Anthony list. She traveled to many places in the United States, speaking out against abortion, and was featured in an anti-abortion ad against Obama during the 2012 presidential campaign. Recently, she testified at a hearing in favor of ending federal funding for Planned Parenthood, "one of the greatest honors of my life" (p.163).The parts of the Melissa's story about her family life and searching for her birth-family are captivating. However, her activity against abortion, which she discusses at great length, although understandable, gets rather tiresome, especially if one does not agree with her views. The book also has a strong Christian element although this is not overwhelming. Melissa's faith helped her deal with many struggles in her life.Recommended.

[jcgirl-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Author Melissa Ohden writes the actual survival story of being a botched abortion and how she sees herself after learning this news. She had always known she was adopted and was lucky enough to have a loving father and mother in her life. However, after she finds out the new about her birth, she begins to think more about the biological parents and what was the circumstance for their choice of wanting an abortion and why after all that happened during the procedure did they just not keep her. Her journey starts slow and seems to hit dead ends, but soon she finds individuals that are aware of what happened that night. Melissa Ohden bravely tells you the most difficult time in her life with grace and beauty. I enjoyed this story that I feel too often isn't talked about and would recommend to anyone.

[brenda63_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Surviving abortion, an amazing feat. Not the mother, the child. This story brings you right into the life of the author as she openly shares her feelings about being an abortion survivor. Melissa always new she was adopted, but found out she had been aborted when she was 14. She painstakingly searched for her birth parents picking up piece by piece of information over many years. The story is shocking and hopeful.

[mootzymom · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wow. This was an incredible story of sorrow and triumphs. No matter what side you stand on pro choice or pro life this book makes you reconsider everything you thought you could know about abortion and the startling waves it creates in lives.

[seriousgrace · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Ohden knew from an early age she was adopted. For anyone, that alone would conjure up questions surrounding identity. How could it not? Add "survivor of botched abortion" to the resume and a whole new set of mysteries emerge. What happened? Did the birth mother not want me? Did my birth father even know about the pregnancy? How could this happen? What started as a series of mysteries when Ohden was 14 turned into a purpose for life as an adult. You Carried Me is Ohden's attempt to explain the process.Ohden tells her story at breakneck speed. Eager to get to the heart of the story she glosses over most of her adolescence and is in college before page 50. At times I met Ohden's words with distracted frustration. Ohden speaks in absolutes. For example, she makes assumptions about the nature of mother/newborn bonding. It's not always an automatic relationship. It's pretty typical of some mothers to never emotionally attach to her child; despite it being the child she carried for nine months. Strange as it may seem, there are even hospital classes to help some new mothers connect with their infants. Another example: Ohden describes an accident her father had as a teenager and she blames the altering of so many lives on that accident. How does she know? How could she know? I would have been more comfortable with the assumption that the accident could have altered so many lives. Yes, it might have.One thing is clear. Ohden writes in an unsophisticated but determined and enthusiastic voice (lots of exclamation points!). Her absolutes and assumptions are all her own. It's a story impossible to put down once started. At only 166 pages it's easy to read in one sitting. I read it on a lunch break.

[susan.macura · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I have always been a supporter of pro-choice because I felt it was not my place to tell others how to live their lives. Personally, I am fairly certain I could not abort a fetus, so I made sure that I was never in a position where this would be an issue for me. However, in all of the times that I contemplated how I felt about this issue, I never imagined that someone could find himself or herself in the situation that this author did – the survivor of a botched abortion. Her story is too horrific for words, and that includes how her birth mother also suffered. The author provides the reader with a unique perspective on this difficult issue, one I am glad I had a chance to discover. The author is an inspiration as she moved forward with her life, despite some rocky periods, and then found enough love in herself to include members of her birth family in her family’s life. She has led a remarkable life.

[livelylady · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Melissa did not find out until she was a teen that she was the product of a failed abortion. She knew she was adopted, but she assumed she had been loved and her biological mother could not provide for her. She was adopted by a very loving couple. Her memoir chronicles her journey as she deals with this discovery and she uses it to help others. I was impressed with her journey and with the conclusion (no spoiler here). Very good reading for teens as well as adults.

[msgemini_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I was happy to receive the memoir, You Carried Me by Melissa Ohden. This is a very emotional story. Melissa is a survivor of a botched abortion. She takes us on a journey from her young teenage years through adulthood. She explains what she was feeling and how she dealt with searching for her biological family. I thoroughly enjoyed her story.I found myself not wanting to put the book down until I was finished.I recommend reading this one.