The Council of Dads: My Daughters, My Illness, and the Men Who Could Be Me

Written by Bruce Feiler

Narrated by Bruce Feiler

Now a major NBC primetime drama

The uplifting story that touched the world and inspired families everywhere to rethink what matters most in their lives

As a young dad, Bruce Feiler, New York Times bestselling author and television host, received shattering news. A rare form of cancer was threatening not only his life but his family's future as well. A singular question emerged: Who would be there for his wife and daughters if he were gone?

Feiler reached out to six extraordinary men who helped shape him and asked them to be present in the lives of his daughters. The Council of Dads is the unforgettable portrait of these men, who offer wisdom, humor, and guidance on how to live, how to love, how to question, how to dream.

The source for NBC's blockbuster series, here is a singular story that offers lessons for us all—helping us draw closer to the ones we love, appreciate what's most precious, and celebrate the power of community.

This audiobook includes an episode of the Book Club Girl Podcast, featuring an interview with Bruce Feiler about The Council of Dads.

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperAudio
• Release date: Apr 27, 2010
• ISBN: 9780061992957

Bruce Feiler

Bruce Feiler is the author of six consecutive New York Times bestsellers, including Abraham, Where God Was Born, America's Prophet, The Council of Dads, and The Secrets of Happy Families. He is a columnist for the New York Times, a popular lecturer, and a frequent commentator on radio and television. He lives in Brooklyn with his wife and twin daughters.

Reviews for The Council of Dads

[lucaconti-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

moving and ispiring with a lot of wisdom inside

[grandpahobo_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed this book so much, I purchased a copy to give to my daughter and son-in-law (the copy I read was from the library).The messages and perspectives espoused by the men chosen for the council are varied and insightful. Frankly, the author comes off as a bit self-absorbed and whiny from my point of view. As he describes the ordeal of spending 4 or 5 days in a hospital for symptoms related to chemotherapy, I can't help but think of the millions of people who have similar or worse health problems and can't afford even basic care. But then it occurred to me that perhaps he wrote himself this way to provide a greater contrast with the men on his council. In any case, this is a book I will give to others and keep on a shelf to re-read (a rarity for me).

[amysan_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Bruce Feiler's book The Council of the Dads tells the story of his illness and his search for men who could help raise his girls should he pass on. It was interesting to hear his history with the men he chose and what impact he hoped they would have on his girls. I was fascinated by the book although I have to say I was a little disappointed he didn't go into more detail about how his illness affected him and his family.

[lisat781 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Bruce Feiler has written a wonderful book about facing mortality and the prospect of leaving his family behind after being diagnosed with cancer. I thought this book was well written, easy to read and authentic. It was a refreshing perspective by the author to revisit old friendships and ask for help from those friends in keeping his memory alive for his girls if he should die. It amazes me that Mr Feiler could actually have the clarity to offer this gift to his family as he dealt with such a difficult diagnosis. I would highly recommend this book!!

[wrighty_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A touching story about a father's fight to survive and plans for his children in case he didn't. Author Bruce Fieler received devastating news that he had a rare bone cancer in his femur. With two very young daughters to raise he planned to win the battle against his illness but prepared to provide them with father figures if he had to leave. This book chronicles how he tackles chemotherapy and surgery with the help of a great support team. He includes emails and letters he wrote to update family and friends about his condition. He also dedicates chapters to a small group of men who had special meaning to him in different times of his life. Each of these six individuals represent something different, each of great importance. It's because of their significance that he chooses them to be a part of his Council of Dads. These men know him well and share his values so he knows that they will be exceptional father figures to his children. If they lose their dad they will not lose his voice.The book was so well written, the fear was offset by humor and hope. Everyone has been affected by cancer in some way so Feiler's story strikes a personal note. I was in tears on more than one page. The back stories for his father, grandfathers and other father figures were thoughtful and interesting. I liked knowing what made them special to him. As a parent myself I understood his determination to take care of his children whether he was with them or not. His words were inspirational and I'm sure his daughters will cherish this book forever. Thank you to LibraryThings Early Reviewers for an advanced copy of this book.

[mmccullough_33 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Facing the possibility of your own death in a matter of months, with a wife and family left behind, is difficult to comprehend. A responsible father would want someone or some people to help fill the gap and be role models for his children. Mr. Feiler examined his acquaintences present and past to arrive at six men who he trusted would step in at the appropriate times in his children's lives. Mr. Feiler's battle with his cancer and treatments, his home life, the effect all of this had on his relationships at work and home, make for a difficult read. There are times to laugh, be angry and be sad while reading.

[gpsman_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

"The Council of Dads: My Daughters, My Illness, and the Men Who Could Be Me" tells the story of a young father diagnosed with cancer and wanting to provide a Father figure substitute to his girls in case of his death as well as a chronicle of the difficulties and lessons of fighting the disease. I have a wide breadth in my attitude towards this book, which tells the stories of Feiler's fight against cancer, his invention of a council of six men to serve as surrogate dads for his daughters if he didn't survive and enough about his family to give substance to the others; a story about what he calls "The Lost Year."The book was not easy to read. This wasn't because of grammar or situations. There was points at which I simply didn't enjoy the storytelling. I kept picking the book up because what he was recounting was sincere and important enough to read through. It was at times a bit of a jerky ride. Eventually I decided to credit the author for trying to convey the jerky ride his life was during the episodes related. He is, after all, a respected writer of books about travel and making journeys. This is a travelogue of a very personal journey.I don't want to leave the impression that the book is morose. It isn't! It is filled with happy episodes of his family, his marriage and friends. The afterglow of "Council" is nostalgic, melancholy and ultimately warm and hopeful. You will reconsider your efforts at living life and the value of your friends and loved ones. It is worth the read.

[drizzlegirl_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is Bruce Feiler's account of his illness and quest to create a support system for his girls in the event of his death. This book is a must read! Once I started I couldn't put it down! I found myself laughing and crying. This book is about living and coming to terms with the past and death. READ IT!!

[roydknight · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I wasn't quite sure which moved me more? His arduous struggle with cancer or his critera and stories about the six men he wished to form his "council of dads" for his daughters. I finally decided, why choose?! His story is fraught with both laughter, smiles, and pathos. It did take a few chapters to get used to the movement between day-to-day struggles with cancer and his male friends who would form his council. But there was no mistaking the intentionality of what he wanted to do and needed to do.This was a wonderful book to help one reflect on priorities, values, and relationships.

[lindapanzo · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I had a huge swing in my attitudes towards this book, which recounts (1) Feiler's fight against a deadly cancer, (2) his creation of a "council of dads," six men, influential in his life, who could impart lessons to his girls if he didn't survive his cancer battle, and (3) other family stories.I started this book two months ago, read about 30 or 40 pages, and absolutely hated it, so I put it aside. About a month ago, I read another 30 or 40 pages and still absolutely hated it. I felt that alternating chapters with the three elements above made the book way too disjointed. The whole set-up was very distracting.Then, tonight, I thought I'd give it a third (and final) shot. I again started reading and was quickly hooked. I absolutely loved it.I still think Feiler could've spent far less time on the council parts, or, alternatively, could've woven those parts in better, but, in the end, I realized that this is quite a book. I've read quite a few "how I survived my battle with..." kinds of books and thought his updates to family and friends were the best parts of this book, along with lessons learned. (I've undergone two potentially life-threatening medical conditions myself and know that figuring out when/how to keep family and friends up to date can be difficult.)Most times, after I finish reading a book, I typically give it away or donate it. This book, however, is a KEEPER. Recommended but with a caution that it can be disjointed and slow, particularly at the beginning.

[khager_9 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

In case you missed the article in People, this is about a man who learns that he has cancer and worries that, if he dies, his twin three-year-old daughters will have a huge void. To combat that, he comes up with the idea of a council of dads. He picks six men who all personify an aspect of Bruce's personality so that, through these men, Eden and Tybee can get to know their father. The story is told through stories, lessons and emails and is a very quick read. I wasn't sure how well I would do with reading this since my dad died of cancer when I was 17. It helped that I met him at BEA, so obviously--spoiler--he didn't die. I mostly made out okay, except for the letter at the end to his daughters. I pretty much cried the whole way though that.Recommended, but be prepared to cry.

[ellenh_28 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Imagine being diagnosed with cancer & having 2 young children to raise? Bruce Feiler does, and this is his sad & loving journey into making sure his daughters would have abit of their Father in their lives through the men who knew him. I hope those people never have to step in for him, but he did a wonderful thing in gathering these men to be there for his wife & daughters if he goes

[jillstone · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A story rich in friendship of a husband and father who is diagnosed with a deadly form of cancer. Afraid he won't live to help his daughter's through the various times in life they would have turned to him, he asks 6 men to help raise them. Each friend was chosen for what their friendship brought to Feiler, whether it be honesty, the spirit of adventure or the ability to give good advice. The 6 of them each knew a different side of Feiler and would be able to share that with his girls as they grew. A book that makes you reconsider your friendships and want to strengthen them.

[carolwong_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book is more than the way a man faces cancer, it is how he prepares a group of men to teach his core values to his two young daughters living after him. It really struck me that he knew what it would be like for them without a father. He recounts that being fatherless was not new in his family. He also really anticipated how deeply the loss would be. My father grew up with a fatherless after his father divorced his mother when he was young. He never saw him or heard from him again. I...more This book is more than the way a man faces cancer, it is how he prepares a group of men to teach his core values to his two young daughters living after him. It really struck me that he knew what it would be like for them without a father. He recounts that being fatherless was not new in his family. He also really anticipated how deeply the loss would be. My father grew up with a fatherless after his father divorced his mother when he was young. He never saw him or heard from him again. I didn’t realize how important this was to him until I read some of his writings after he passed away. That experience led him to be one of the best fathers ever. I think that this is basically what Mr. Feiler wanted to do, give his two little daughters the father that they needed and it is father as they grew up. So, he chose six male friends to speak for him as they grew up and each one to portray different aspects of himself to his kids. I really liked this book; it was easy to tell how much Bruce Feiler loved his daughters, Eden and Tybee. This book also speaks of deep friendships and what we learn from them. This book is one that you will want to keep after you have read it. Each friend had taught him something that he treasured. His goal in creating a Council of Dads was to be able to reach out to his children after his passing through the Council with demonstrations of what gives his particular meanings to life. I think this book should be read by everyone, men and women alike. I don’t think it would be stretching it too far for dads who are divorced to read this book. The Council of Dad’s speaks of the importance of the best for him since he could not count on living to see them grow up. After hearing that he had a very rare and deadly bone cancer, Bruce Feiler felt that his wife was strong enough to deal with it. But his daughters needed more. He did not want to be cheated out of his father’s relationship to his children and how he carefully and thoughtfully set up a way to bestow precious lessons to them even when he is not alive.

[musicmom41 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

What do you do when you make your living by “walking the world” and writing books to share your discoveries with others only to be told at the peak of your career that you might not be able to walk anymore, even worse that you will probably lose your leg and very possibly will die? In this personal and powerful narrative Feiler chronicles his “lost year” sharing his journey as he faces his mortality, deals with the stress his illness puts on his family and most importantly faces his biggest concern, how his three year old daughters will be able to remember and know about their father if he isn’t there with them. As he leads us through this most difficult year he also introduces us to six of his closest friends who each embody different aspects of his core values who are asked to be available for his daughters to talk to as they are growing up and learn about their father.Ultimately this book is about living life to the fullest no matter what the circumstances, about the value of family and friends in all aspects of life, about finding joy in the midst pain and doubt. It is a story of hope, love and triumph in the face of pain and adversity.A personal note:Years ago when my sons were growing up in Savannah, Georgia they participated in a special city sponsored summer program called Art in the Park in which two leaders, one specializing in arts and crafts and the other in performing arts, traveled to the different city parks offering a week long program for school age children. One year the performance leader was a young man named Bruce Feiler who made a big impression on my two boys. Each day at lunch they related chapter and verse every thing this leader had done during the morning. When I met him I, too, was attracted by his charm, intelligence and his enthusiasm for the work he was doing with the children. Years later, when he started chronicling his journeys and adventures we felt a personal interest in his discoveries because of the impact he had on our family that long ago summer. This newest book has special meaning for me because ironically, the summer we encountered Bruce was part of my “lost year” fighting possibly terminal cancer.

[jpogue_6 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

A prolific and popular author, Bruce Feiler writes a completely different book from his usual non-fiction fare after his year-long battle with Osteosarcoma - a rare cancer in the form of a huge tumor on his left femur. In "The Council of Dads: My Daughters, My Illness, and the Men Who Could Be Me" Feiler intimately shares his thoughts, hopes, dreams, and memories as he fights for his life in what he calls, without an ounce of self-pity, "The Lost Year".Inspired by his three-year-old twin daughters, Tybee and Eden, this book alternates between written updates to Feiler's family and friends and descriptions of his relationships with the six men he has chosen to be "The Council of Dads" - the men he hopes will step in to fill the void left in his daughters' life should the cancer win the fight.This journey is sprinkled generously with happy memories of Feiler's childhood, his marriage, and the birth of his twin girls. He also reminisces at length about his friendships with each of the men composing the Council - some lifetime friends, business colleagues, and others who have deeply touched his life.Bruce Feiler's love for his wife, Linda, and his children is indeed inspiring. I was, however, a bit disappointed that his faith wasn't more influential in the way he processed his illness and its potential ramifications. I was also surprised that his Jewish background didn't play a bigger role in his choices of men for "The Council of Dads".This author is at his best when he describes the raw emotions and soul-weariness his illness has wrought. Feiler never flirts with sugary optimism, but draws an amazing strength from loved ones surrounding and supporting him. He writes, "Cancer, I have found, is a passport to intimacy. It's an invitation-maybe even a mandate-to enter the most vital, frightening, and sensitive human arenas. It's a responsibility to address those issues we rarely want to discuss, but we feel enriched when we do."Bruce Feiler’s journey is truly worth the read! His courage in the face of death, his honesty, his gratitude, his love for his family, and his spirit made me grateful for all the blessings and relationships God has given me. Tybee and Eden are two very lucky little girls!

[freckles1987 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A poignant memoir of an illness by one of my favorite authors, Bruce Feiler. At times tear-worthy, and at others quirky and funny, this short book was both uplifting and challenging. Feiler describes his Lost Year, a year of chemotherapy and surgery in a battle against cancer. The concern and love for his daughters is both the topic and the most gripping part of the text. The idea of a Council of Dads is both beautiful and tragic, a logical response to the all-too-real prospect of death. Other reviews have covered the content of the book, I have only to say that The Council of Dads is a touching and wide-ranging family epic, a worthy legacy to Feiler's daughters, as well as a testament to Feiler's own strength, creativity, and wisdom.

[tylerhartford · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I loved this book. Having 4 children of my own, I found myself in tears at several points which does not happen very often. Bruce is one of my favorite authors, so I have a bias - his Walking the Bible books have inspired me to lead a tour in Israel this fall, and a Egypt/Jordan tour in 2012.His concept of the council of Dads is so counter to culture that even if he wasn't struggling with cancer, I think he would now say that he would put one together anyways. It is an affirmation of strong friendships and the people who shape us, it is a celebration of family (warts and all) and it is a point blank look at the inevitability of death, which we all will face someday.His writing is clear, his structure works, and this book is a gift to his family and friends!

[katkealy · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I highly recommend this book. I'm giving it to my sister, since I think she'll really enjoy it, too. The idea of getting a group of people together to represent you as your daughters grow up is so touching. The way the story is told really makes you connect with the character and pull for him throughout the book.This book is a very fast read, since it's well written and interesting. If you like true stories with families handling illness, this is a great choice.

[joanies_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Bruce Feiler's first hand account of his battle with cancer is very compelling. Although the subject matter makes it difficult to read at times, it is just as difficult to put down. With candor and humor, he chronicles his "lost year" as he traveled down the cancer road. He exposes his emotions and anxieties for all to read. It is also a love story as he relates how he lovingly gathered a group of men to be his substitutes for his daughters in case the worst should happen.The book also stresses the importance of support from family and friends,even if it's just a prayer or a casserole. The Council of Dads is a very good book about a difficult subject. Read it, especially if you know someone who is making this difficult journey.

[biblioholic29 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

When "Walking the Bible" author Bruce Feiler was diagnosed with cancer in 2008, he wondered what would happen to his twin girls if he died. At only 3-years-old, would they remember him? How could he make sure that they continued to hear his voice? Get his perspective when he was gone. An idea was born. He would talk to 6 men from his life, all of whom represented different aspects of his personality, and form a Council of Dads. When the girls wondered how he would feel or what he would say at a given moment, these men would be there, to be his voice.This book is a combination of letters and emails written to friends and family during his "lost year" as he calls it, and a look back at why he chose each of the 6 men in the council. He gives us glimpses into his own family, the events that made him who he is. He also lets us sit with him in each meeting as he asked his friends to join his Council. Heartbreaking and uplifting, in the end this book is about love and the lengths we will go through to be remembered.

[hsullivan_43 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Bruce Feiler's story of his experience with cancer and the effects it had on himself and his family was like taking on remodeling your bathroom - you don't know how in-depth it's going to get until you're into it. I came into this book expecting a lot of medical mumbo jumbo, and while there was a little, the stories and letters that Feiler shared took precedence over it. This book was very emotional, and it did everything from giving me chills and goosebumps to making me cry to making me laugh out loud. I'd recommend it to anyone... ANYONE. Oh, and be sure to "take a walk with a turtle"!

[gracemcclain · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Bruce Feiler, a young dad diagnosed with cancer when his twin girls are just two-years-old, decides that, in his place should he not be there to raise the girls, he will choose 6 men to "be his voice." These men will guide and encourage the girls and help raise them if and when they are called upon in place of their father. Who would you choose? In the face of his possible death, Feiler infuses life into his words about choosing these men and why. He picks these men specifically because of what they will teach the girls and teaches us as readers to do some of those things ourselves. He also describes the other men in his life who influenced him and turned him into the man he is. Combined with periodical updates about his "Lost Year" of treatment and recovery, this book is a very real, touching, without being saccharine, and accessible read.

[duffdaddy-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

What could be worse than a diagnosis of cancer with one prognosis being death? For father Bruce Feiler, the prospect of his twin daughters growing up without benefit of his "voice" in their lives is intolerable. As such, Bruce initiates a search to identify six men, his Council of Dads, who can capture and share the varied facets of his development as a dad and can be his voice should he leave his girls orphans. Feiler's book captures not only his search for these surrogate dads, it also chronicles his musings on love, life, marriage, fatherhood and facing one's fears. As a storyteller, Bruce is first-rate. As anyone familiar with his other works can attest, Feiler has a talent for infusing the mundane with humor, poignant observations and interesting trivia. He is no less adept in "The Council of Dads". Throughout his ordeal - with fighting the bone cancer, navigating the strained interpersonal relationships effected by the disease, and in indentifying exactly who will fill his council - Feiler demonstrates his ability to observe and report with sincere appreciation the people, places and things that make up his lost year of treatment. This book invoked laughter and tears; made me appreciate more my own wife, daughters and family; and fostered a resolve to be a better father and husband. Can any more be asked of any book?

[realbigcat · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

The Council of Dads is a vey good book if you can call a story about cancer good. The author Bruce finds out he has cancer in his leg probably a result of a childhood accident. Bruce has 2 young daughters and now he realizes one of a Fathers greatest fears, that he won't be around to watch them grow up. Being an older father myself with young children this is one of my greatest fears. I can't even imagine what he went thru trying to contemplate his diagnosis. Bruces response to his cancer and his unknown future is to form what he calls the "Council of Dads." These are men who had the greatest influence on his life and would be able to help his daughters grow up and know about their father. This is a well written story of his battle with cancer and how he formed the council of dads. As another reviewer said the book is a mix of Mitch Albom and Randy Pautch and I would agree it has the same feel. The feelings are genuine and nothing is held back and there is a mix of great quotes and other inspiring poems and stories. While my heart goes out to Bruce in the horrible battle he had with cancer my only complaint about the book is that the group of Dads seems almost to perfect, almost fictional. Anyway, it's a great inspiring book that makes you realize how short life can be and how quick your life can be turned upside down and inside out. Bruce has a great family and groups of friends that supported him in his battle and I wish him the best. If you like an inspiring story then I would recommend this book.

[mbaland_2 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is a memoir of a dad's experience with cancer and the existential question of his impact as a father on his two young girls after his (potential). To provide for his daughters, he assembles a council of dads to be his voice after he is gone. The story was very well written and engaging throughout. It was a memoir of his experience with cancer and treatment, as well as a memory of the men who shaped his life (and whom he would want to influence his daughters).I would, and have, recommended this book to others who enjoy reading books in this genre.

[danajean_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Bruce Feiler found out he had cancer. He feared for his life, but he feared the thought that his daughters would grow up without really knowing who he was as a person. So, he enlisted the help of men who knew him during key points in his life and he charged them with the task of teaching his daughters who he was, if he were to die. He called these men his, [Council of Dads]. We learn about Bruce and these men through his lost year and although a very personal story, there are many lessons to be learned for all of us. My mom passed away with breast cancer in 2008 and she was a stoic patient. Not wanting to burden anyone with details or the truth in how she was feeling. This makes me so sad that she didn't share these things with my family. We were there. And the not knowing was painful. I applaud Bruce for being a talker and a planner. He tackled his condition head on just in case the outcome wasn't one of survival. He was prepared and he was determined to prepare his family. Very much like [The Last Lecture] only Bruce is alive!, I took away courage, strength and love from reading his story. And just for you Bruce, I'm going to take a walk.

[koalamom_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

You've just been told that you have cancer. You have a set of three year old twins. You can't be sure that you will survive to see them grow up. How will they remember you? What do you do to make sure that they are taken care of and that they do remember you as you are. Bruce Feiler had this dilemma. He decided to ask six men who had meaning for him, who were good friends, to be there in case something did happen to him. They would be there to offer help, guidance, fun, whatever the girls needed that Bruce would have given, if necessary.How many of us have wished that there had been someone to do this for us if we had lost someone before we had really gotten to know them - or to be there just to remind us of what that person was.Whether the "Council of Dads" will ever have to convene is in the future, but isn't it a wonderful idea?

[virginiagill · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book is nothing short of stunning in its honesty and beauty. Read most of it while sitting beside my husband's bed in our local cancer center, I laughed, I cried, I wanted to shout from the mountain tops "READ THIS BOOK!!!" Whether you have cancer, some other terminal illness, a high risk job, or just an average uncomplicated life I would urge you to read this book and follow the advice, build a "council" because life can change in an instant. We ALL need to address the question as Mr Feiler so beautifully does, "Who would be my voice if..."

[kaulsu · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

When my son was young, what would I have done to prepare him for my possible death? I hope I would have been as wise as Bruce Feiler, who tried his best to shelter his daughters from the knowledge that he might die sooner than desired.This memoir carries us through the "lost year" of treatment and surgery and physical therapy in an incredibly forthright manner...never giving in to the fear completely, yet without false sunshine that "all would surely be well." Whether this book would be helpful to anyone, or any family member of someone, going through the scourge of cancer, I do not know. But I know it taught me in hindsight how to better parent my child. Well, it is too late for him! But perhaps I will be a wiser grandparent one day because of reading it.