Before I Go To Sleep

Written by S. J. Watson

Narrated by Susannah Harker

'As I sleep, my mind will erase everything I did today. I will wake up tomorrow as I did this morning. Thinking I'm still a child. Thinking I have a whole lifetime of choice ahead of me ...'

Memories define us.

So what if you lost yours every time you went to sleep?

Your name, your identity, your past, even the people you love - all forgotten overnight.

And the one person you trust may only be telling you half the story.

Welcome to Christine's life.

Winner of CWA Best unabridged Crime Audiobook 2012.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Random House UK Audio
• Release date: May 5, 2011
• ISBN: 9781446462867

S. J. Watson

S. J. WATSON was born in the Midlands. His first novel was the award-winning Before I Go to Sleep, which has sold more than four million copies in over forty languages, followed by the critically acclaimed novel Second Life. S. J. Watson lives in London.

Reviews for Before I Go To Sleep

[ma_washigeri · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Plus a half a star. The author set himself a very hard task to write this in the first person. I enjoyed the early part of the book best as it had freshness and intriguing detail. Later on I found it a bit repetitive and the mystery evaporated as I worked the plot out for myself. I found myself skipping over text towards the end in an effort to finish rather than abandon. [Spoiler] And a bit queasy about the violence - the more description, the less effective.

[ginafava · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Riveting, poignant, startling. It could have ended in a number of different directions, but I felt satisfied with this one. If you read it before you go to sleep, every morning you'll wake up wondering about the truth of your own life's circumstances.

[pamv-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

OK, I liked this book, but didn't love it. I thought that the storyline was pretty creative and I have not read anything like this before. It certainly made me think about real people that have had real accidents that suffer from amnesia. I liked how the story was being told through her journal. The story is a bit suspenseful, but not overly done.

Here is one of the things that I really did not like about the book; some of the sentence structure and phrasing seemed off. I found myself going back to a sentence a few different times rereading it to try to get the proper context and how it fits in the paragraph.

Overall, I would recommend this book to others.

[begivens · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I rarely read a book that captivates and surprises me. This book did that and more. I enjoyed every minute of it.

[kathelijne-3 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

terrifying!

[dazedbybooks · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Loved this book! I was left questioning every character until the very end, even the sanity of the main character. I rarely give 5 stars, but I almost did for this one. I couldn't put it down. Great read. Highly recommend!!!

[uagyrl · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Loved this book! I was left questioning every character until the very end, even the sanity of the main character. I rarely give 5 stars, but I almost did for this one. I couldn't put it down. Great read. Highly recommend!!!

[lauriegienapp · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wow!! very well done. well conceived, well written. I will certainly be looking for more from this author.

[annhepburn · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

So, I just read this in less than 24 hours. This never happens - I picked it up and glanced at the first sentence and was suddenly unable to do anything but read and read and read.

So suspenseful! Every page is dripping with suspense. READ IT NOW, you guys. DO IT!

[hope_h-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

"What are we, if not an accumulation of our memories?" wonder Christine Lucas. Due to trauma, she has lost both her long-term and her short-term memory. She awakens every morning not knowing anything about herself. She is surprised by the age of the woman looking back at her from the mirror, surprised by the man in her house who introduces himself every morning as her husband Ben, surprised by the doctor who calls her every morning to tell her where she has hidden her journal and that she needs to read it. It is through her journal that we begin to piece together her story. And the first line in the journal reads "Don't trust Ben."A little bit slow to start, this was an otherwise superb read! Christine makes a wonderfully unreliable narrator. It had me guessing until the end who was or wasn't trustworthy as well as what was happening with her.

[melannc-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I read this one in a day - I had a difficult time putting it down. This story is about a woman who wakes up each morning not knowing where she is or who she is or who the strange man in her bed is. The plot has intriguing twists and turns. The characters are engrossing.

[tjsjohanna_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

SJ Watson does a masterful job of creating doubt - Christine has no memory and no way of knowing who to trust. She is the ultimate vulnerable person, relying on people she doesn't remember to ground her in reality. We take for granted our minds and this book explores what happens when we can't rely on our minds to make sense of our world. There's also a nice twist in the story that adds a sense of menace.

[erika.d · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Catchy and suspenseful but I didn't like the way the author portrayed the main female character. Wasn't interesting enough to keep my attention.

[stahl2ricco · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book begins like the movie "50 First Dates" - A woman who believes she is in her 20's wakes up as a 47 year old with no memory of the years in between. Then she starts keeping a journal. She discovers not everyone is telling her the truth! Is her husband lying? Is her doctor? Well, the story drags a bit in the middle, but the end is superb and the twists are well worth the wait!

[cassandra2020 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Oh dear, I've left it rather too long to review this. I finished it weeks ago and I'm not sure that I have much to add to what others have said.

The story is about Christine, a 50 year old woman who wakes every morning with her memory wiped. It seems she has suffered some trauma which has left her incapable of retaining new memories, when she wakes it varies as to how much of her life she remembers, but invariably she is a young woman with no memory of her husband or most of the past 30 years.

It's an interesting premise and I enjoyed the voyage of discovery she makes. I know a lot of people found the 'journal' that she writes unbelievable, but I didn't find it a problem (When going through a very difficult, low point in my life, years ago, & with no-one to talk to I poured it all out on paper as a form of therapy. Wierdly it's in a very similar style to Christine's journal)

I liked the tension in the book, who could she trust & how could she recognise the truth? But equally, I seem to be reading quite a few 'unreliable narrator' books of late - must be the new 'thing'. Other than that, it's difficult to review without giving away any of the twists & turns. Ditto on commenting on the ending.

There is still something about the book I couldn't get into & I'm finding it difficult to pinpoint. This was the first book I read in Kindle format & I'm wondering if I didn't get on with the book because of the format, or didn't get on with the format because of the book.

[toric90 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I really enjoyed this book. Along the lines of many of the bestsellers such as Gone Girl and The Girl on The Train, this suspenseful thriller keeps you guessing at every turn. The writing has a tendency to be repetitive occasionally, mostly because of the way the plot is, having a main character with memory loss and regaining memories based on a diary, therefore it was pretty easy to overlook after a while. The ending was perfect for the story and let the reader make the conclusion that worked best for them. A highly suggested read.

[angiestahl-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I liked this. It caught me off-guard because I couldn't quite figure out where it was headed and I didn't guess the ending. Plus it gave me a feeling of dread most of the way too--I couldn't stop reading, I had to know what was going to happen to her. Read it months ago and it's one those that I enjoyed while reading and now that some time has passed, a general impression rather than specific plot points is all that's left behind. Recommended if you like psychological suspense. It's sort of atmospheric - the kind of book you want to pull out at night or on a dreary/rainy day under a blanket with a steamy mug in hand.

[courtneygiraldo · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Mind = blown. That pretty much sums up my thoughts on this book. Before I Go to Sleep is mystery/thriller that will literally keep you guessing until the very end.Christine is a middle aged woman who wakes each morning a blank slate. I don't mean this in the self help "every day is a new day" sort of way. She literally is a blank slate, she has no memories. As a result of a horrific tragedy 20+ years ago, Christine has a very rare form of amnesia in which she can retain no memories. Most days she wakes believing she is in her early twenties, other days she believes she is still a child. Each morning her husband Ben patiently talks her through her past tragedy, explains her diagnosis, and attempts to provide clarity and reassurances with family pictures and scrapbooks documenting their marriage and life together. At the urging of a psychologist, Dr. Nash who is bent on assisting Christine in retrieving her memories, or at the very least, begin to retain new ones, she begins keeping a journal every day. Over the course of several weeks, Christine reconnects with (what she believes is) a dear friend, Claire, and learns that the "accident" resulting in her condition may not have been an accident at all, but may be the result of something much more sinister. Christine isn't sure what is truth and what is lie, who she can trust and who she can't (including her own mind) but she must make sense of it all, before it's too late (sounds ominous, I know).This book had me guessing the ENTIRE time. Just when I thought I had it all figured out, I was thrown a curveball. I oscillated between thinking each of the three supporting characters in Christine's story had nefarious intentions, then changing my mind...again....and again. Having such an unreliable main character really made trying to figure out "who dun it" that much more difficult and made the ending that much more spectacular. I definitely recommend this read if you are into mystery/thrillers, it won't disappoint!

[bucketofrhymes · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

2.5 stars, technically. I wanted to like this book so much. And yet...
1. The specific type of amnesia that Chris had. Her memory just resets itself when she sleeps. And I would have been totally okay with that -- the author mentions other forms of amnesia and how this is different, and I would have accepted a bit of hand waving if she left it at that. But then, the whole trauma-induced, trauma-cured thing happened. And now it's starting to bug me. Memory problems are dramatic enough on their own -- you don't need to invent a whole new amnesia.
2. Her memories were really detailed... I'm thinking in particular about the one where she sat down to write and could even remember the sentence she typed before she scratched it out. I have never had a memory that vivid or coherent. It makes for better scenes, yes, but it seems unrealistic and overly-specific.
3. Some aspects were predictable. Okay, the plot made sense, but it wasn't as mind-blowing as the jacket copy would have me believe.
4. I can't believe that no one -- NO ONE -- thought to verify Ben/Mike's identity. She has severe amnesia, and no one thought to go, hey, let's make sure this dude's actually her husband? Ben or Adam never checked on her? NO ONE REALISED?!
5. What was with the fixation with how penises look? Yeah, he's naked, I get it. Is this what adult fiction is like? Maybe I'll go back to middle grade.
6. The ending went too happily-ever-after for my liking.

I will say that I loved the old diary of hers with the "I am awake for the first time. ... Disregard the previous entry. Now I am actually awake" comments. I remember learning about a man who had no short- or long-term memory and would spend hours writing entries like that. My inner psych major geeked out over that scene.

[justmelissa_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Imagine starting every day with no memory of what happened yesterday, the day before, or even the last 20 years? Where are you? Who is the man sleeping beside you? When did you get so old? This is what happens to Christine every morning. Every day her husband Ben has to explain who he is and why she has no memory. Years ago, Christine was in an accident that resulted in her inability to form new memories. Though she can remember facts through the day, once she sleeps, her mind resets and she has to start over again. In an attempt to recover some of her memories, Christine starts journaling the facts she learns each day. She soon discovers that the stories she's being told just don't add up.SJ Watson does a fantastic job of creating suspense as Christine gathers evidence to uncover the truth. Will Christine start her day with panic, disorientation, or a niggling sense of the recent past? And even more unsettling - will Christine put her trust in words she can't remember writing, or in the believable stories being told to her by those around her? Before I Go to Sleep takes the reader on a psychological journey fraught with unanticipated hazards, and once you are hooked it's a difficult book to put down. A great summer read!

[kikoa_8 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Fantastic..Loved this book. I do not want to say too much because it is important to discover it's layers as you read. I suffer from memory loss and could so identify with Christine, her strength, challenge, and bravery. At the end you will beg for more, I promise you. Enjoy

[jbrubacher_2 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Christine wakes up with no memory of the last 20 years of her life. She's in bed with a man who says he's her husband, in a home she doesn't recognize. A doctor tells her where to find a diary she's been writing to herself every day, figuring out what happened, but as she reads she realizes it isn't as simple as trying to remember a normal life: on the very first page she's written that she can't trust her husband. But can she trust herself and what she's written?I read this book in one sitting. Literally sitting down and reading it all at once. It isn't long and it's very compelling. Not many words are wasted, and it all barrels forward through mysteries we want solved. At the end of it I was mostly satisfied, and though I didn't feel I'd really connected with the characters I was relieved I finally knew the truth. This is pretty much the perfect summer thriller.

[bookaholicmom · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book just blew my mind! I was expecting a predictable read about a woman who has amnesia. This book is so much more!Christina wakes up every morning not remembering much at all. She doesn't remember her husband who is in bed next to her. She doesn't know where she is. Every day she relearns her life. Christina has had an accident of some sort where she has sustained a brain injury which has left her in this state. Instantly the reader knows something is off and the twists and turns of the plot begin. I had my suspects in mind. I was wrong. Very wrong!This is a wonderful debut book by S.J. Watson. She weaves a suspenseful plot that will keep you from wanting to put this book down. There were times I could honestly feel Christina's confusion. I didn't know who she should trust. And just when I thought I knew who Christina should stay away from, the story took an unexpected turn.This is a great psychological thriller and I highly recommend it. It was written in such a way that I truly felt I was in Christina's mind. I look forward to seeing more from S.J. Watson in the future!

[ozzer_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Christine Lucas is a most unreliable narrator. She can't remember anything from day to day and because of that the reader is also largely clueless most of the time. Watson masterfully uses this to build tension and suspense. It truly is hard to put this book down because of how cleverly the clues are doled out to the reader. I was constantly reminded of how important memory is to ones identity. The level of detail in the story is exceptional and the maintenance of continuity is commendable. There were numerous times when I questioned how Christine could have known something, but the answers never seemed contrived. The last few pages were a little contrived. I think the story would have been better without them, although I can understand why many might want to have everything wrapped up neatly.

[asomers_8 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A haunting story of an amnesiac who begins to piece together her life years after she suffered a brutal attack.The ending was a little rushed, but overall it was a suspenseful read.

[priscillam_80 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

"Before I go to Sleep", once started was hard to put down. The movie "Fifty First Dates" comes to mind, but without any of the humour.The premise of forgetting everything about your life every night when you slept and each morning having to come to terms with who you are and who you were supposedly married to etc and what had happened to you for tha last 20 years makes for an interesting plot. This is of course is what happened to Christine Lucas, the books main character and narrator. I found her character fairly flimsy, ie: too accepting of her lot everyday after the initial explanations from her husband each morning. I found it difficult to accept that she would 'sleep with' Ben although she had no memory of him as her husband or of loving him. I also felt the timeline was way too long for the story and so it lacked a bit of reason. However, in spite of some holes in the story, I enjoyed reading it, even if the ending was predictable.

[smallwonder56_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Christine is a woman with a past--unfortunately one she can't remember. When she wakes up each morning she has to be told where she is, what's happened in the past twenty years, and who the people are in her life now. She starts remembering things and then the pattern changes. It's a mystery with a little suspense. Different than I thought it would be but I was hooked very quickly by the plot. Truly a page-turner and a fascinating story. I wish I didn't know what happened so I could read it again!

[kraaivrouw · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Amnesia is a classic condition for a thriller. What would it be like to wake up every day and know nothing about who you are, what's in your past, where you live, your husband's name (assuming he is your husband), your age - everything up for grabs every morning. This is scary for a lot of reasons, including the level of dependency it would inflict upon its sufferers.S.J. Watson's debut thriller, Before I Go to Sleep, mines this territory for all its worth. The suspense is tightly woven, the writing is quite good, it all works in all the ways a good thriller should. Best of all, is the overwhelming sense of paranoia that the book creates from the very first words - a sense that ratchets up throughout the book until by the end you're still not really sure what is real and what's fabricated.Watson takes a familiar theme and turns out a well-written character study filled with suspense, paranoia, and pure terror. Be forewarned, once you start reading this you won't be able to put it down. I missed BART stops twice while reading this and had to get off and take the train back to my destination. Great read.

[coolmama_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

What an amazing debut!It was sort of like reading a Hitchcock movie.Christine (48 yrs old) wakes up every day for the past 20 years new - with no memories of her current life. She thinks she is 28 years old. Every day her husband has to bring her up to date with her condition, his name, where she is, etc.Except, she starts to notice things are not what they seem.

[voracious_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

When Christine wakes up every morning she is startled to find that she is a woman in her mid-fourties, as she was in her early twenties when her ability to retain new memories suddenly came to an end. Afflicted with anterograde amnesia, she wakes each morning with her memory completely erased and is confused in a room she has never seen next to a husband she doesn't remember and is forced to rely on her husband Ben to fill her in as to how she lost her memory and how she got to where she is. One morning after Ben goes off to work, however, a doctor calls her and meets with her to give her the journal she had let him read. Inside, she is suprised to find a bold warning in her own handwriting, "Don't Trust Ben". As Christine reads through her own journal entries, she begins to put together the pieces of the story of her life and it appears that Ben has been hiding secrets of what has happened. I thought this was a really well-written novel of suspense that is increased due to the incapacitation of the character and her memory problems, which leaves her unable to remember anything that had occurred the day before. The pace of the story gradually increases until by the end I found myself unable to put the book down. A great page-turner! Highly recommended!