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    How I Found The G Spot
    The Mixed Doner Murders
    From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce
    Audiobook series7 titles

    Johnny Two Kebabs Series

    Written by Johnny Two Kebabs

    Narrated by Kieran Mc Kenna

    ()

    About this series

    This is the trilogy of three of the instalments of the memoirs of Johnny Two Kebabs

    1. From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce

    2. How I Found The G Spot

    3. The Mixed Doner Murders

    In these pages, Johnny reveals the truth not only about how he thwarted a Russian assassination and a series of bombings in the UK but also how he solved the infamous ‘Mixed Doner Murders’ case. We learn how Johnny operates behind the scenes in his fight against evil on the mean streets of south London and also about his 'philosophy' and the 'ethical' code which as a 'conscious vigilante' he subscribes to.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherKieran Mc Kenna
    Release dateMay 15, 2021
    How I Found The G Spot
    The Mixed Doner Murders
    From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce

    Titles in the series (7)

    • 1

      From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce
      From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce

      From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce

      Johnny Two Kebabs
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      Who Is Johnny Two Kebabs? There has been much speculation in recent years as to whether Johnny Two Kebabs really exists. Is it true that on 15th June 2011 after drinking 13 pints of lager he polished off two doner kebabs in 1 minute 59 seconds? Is Johnny Two Kebabs just an urban legend? Is the song that was written about him and for which the video appears on the internet just in the tradition of Irish blarney and storytelling? Is it a type of Celtic mythology about larger than life figures? Were the comics which mysteriously appeared on the Internet in 2020 just fake news? Now, at last, in his own words, Johnny Two Kebabs comes clean and in this volume he recounts how he foiled a Russian assassination in the UK.  Johnny writes candidly about his experiences in the high stakes world of international intrigue and international seduction. He pulls no punches in his exposé of London’s dark underworld with its assassins, Irish pubs, kebab shops and cans of super-strength lager or as Johnny calls it “The golden nectar that makes life worth living”. 

      Who Is Johnny Two Kebabs? There has been much speculation in recent years as to whether Johnny Two Kebabs really exists. Is it true that on 15th June 2011 after drinking 13 pints of lager he polished off two doner kebabs in 1 minute 59 seconds? Is Johnny Two Kebabs just an urban legend? Is the song that was written about him and for which the video appears on the internet just in the tradition of Irish blarney and storytelling? Is it a type of Celtic mythology about larger than life figures? Were the comics which mysteriously appeared on the Internet in 2020 just fake news? Now, at last, in his own words, Johnny Two Kebabs comes clean and in this volume he recounts how he foiled a Russian assassination in the UK.  Johnny writes candidly about his experiences in the high stakes world of international intrigue and international seduction. He pulls no punches in his exposé of London’s dark underworld with its assassins, Irish pubs, kebab shops and cans of super-strength lager or as Johnny calls it “The golden nectar that makes life worth living”. 

    • 2

      How I Found The G Spot
      How I Found The G Spot

      How I Found The G Spot

      Johnny Two Kebabs
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      In this second volume of his memoirs, Johnny describes how he infiltrated a dangerous gang of "activists" and thwarted a plot to carry out a series of attacks in the U.K. We also learn more about Johnny Two Kebabs "the man" as opposed to just the public figure. We gain more insight into Johnny's "inner journey" as well his "outer journey" when he describes his experience of partaking of "The Kebab Of Truth."

      In this second volume of his memoirs, Johnny describes how he infiltrated a dangerous gang of "activists" and thwarted a plot to carry out a series of attacks in the U.K. We also learn more about Johnny Two Kebabs "the man" as opposed to just the public figure. We gain more insight into Johnny's "inner journey" as well his "outer journey" when he describes his experience of partaking of "The Kebab Of Truth."

    • 3

      The Mixed Doner Murders
      The Mixed Doner Murders

      The Mixed Doner Murders

      Johnny Two Kebabs
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      This third instalment is arguably the most important volume of Johnny's memoirs as it firmly establishes him as one of the great ‘thinkers’ of modern times. Johnny shares with us some of his insights into the criminal mind and what drives him in his crusade against evil. The art of boxing, political ideology and gender fluidity all play a part in this latest fascinating chapter of Johnny's experience. In these pages we get closer to understanding Johnny's "philosophy of life" through the examination of modern day issues such as "diversity and inclusion."

      This third instalment is arguably the most important volume of Johnny's memoirs as it firmly establishes him as one of the great ‘thinkers’ of modern times. Johnny shares with us some of his insights into the criminal mind and what drives him in his crusade against evil. The art of boxing, political ideology and gender fluidity all play a part in this latest fascinating chapter of Johnny's experience. In these pages we get closer to understanding Johnny's "philosophy of life" through the examination of modern day issues such as "diversity and inclusion."

    • 4

      Johnny Two Kebabs - The Prequel
      Johnny Two Kebabs - The Prequel

      Johnny Two Kebabs - The Prequel

      Johnny Two Kebabs
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      An Extraordinary Event:  On 15th June 2011, an extraordinary event took place in Brixton, south London. An Irishman ingested two doner kebabs in 1 minute 59 seconds after already having consumed 13 pints of lager.  Now, for the first time, the true story of the events leading up to this feat is recounted by the protagonist, "Johnny Two Kebabs."   In this "prequel" he relates the truth about his exploits and how he became London's "conscious vigilante."  This is the story of Johnny Two Kebabs. 

      An Extraordinary Event:  On 15th June 2011, an extraordinary event took place in Brixton, south London. An Irishman ingested two doner kebabs in 1 minute 59 seconds after already having consumed 13 pints of lager.  Now, for the first time, the true story of the events leading up to this feat is recounted by the protagonist, "Johnny Two Kebabs."   In this "prequel" he relates the truth about his exploits and how he became London's "conscious vigilante."  This is the story of Johnny Two Kebabs. 

    • 5

      Johnny's Ridealong
      Johnny's Ridealong

      Johnny's Ridealong

      Johnny Two Kebabs
      0 ratings
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      It is a fact that the average male bladder can hold approximately a pint of liquid. This quantity is somewhat greater in an Irishman. The bladder of a healthy Irishman can generally hold at least 750ml or nearly one and a half pints. However, there are exceptions to every rule and every so often a male with a much larger capacity than normal appears and with a bit of training and determination his bladder can, in fact, accomodate an amount significantly greater than the average. In the case of Johnny Two Kebabs it is well known that before having to relieve himself he has, on occasion, imbided up to four pints of lager. In this fifth instalment of Johnny's memoirs he relates how his "enhanced bladder capacity" helped prevent a terrorist attack by the Cornish separatist group the C.N.L.O.

      It is a fact that the average male bladder can hold approximately a pint of liquid. This quantity is somewhat greater in an Irishman. The bladder of a healthy Irishman can generally hold at least 750ml or nearly one and a half pints. However, there are exceptions to every rule and every so often a male with a much larger capacity than normal appears and with a bit of training and determination his bladder can, in fact, accomodate an amount significantly greater than the average. In the case of Johnny Two Kebabs it is well known that before having to relieve himself he has, on occasion, imbided up to four pints of lager. In this fifth instalment of Johnny's memoirs he relates how his "enhanced bladder capacity" helped prevent a terrorist attack by the Cornish separatist group the C.N.L.O.

    • 6

      A Very Maggie Christmas: Johnny Meets The Ghost Of Margaret Thatcher
      A Very Maggie Christmas: Johnny Meets The Ghost Of Margaret Thatcher

      A Very Maggie Christmas: Johnny Meets The Ghost Of Margaret Thatcher

      Johnny Two Kebabs
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      The strangest episode of Johnny’s adventures so far sees him not only confronted by the ghost of Margaret Thatcher but also by the mystery surrounding the death of one of his acquaintances. An investigation at an esoteric and well-being convention is undertaken by Johnny who attends some therapy sessions and is surprised at the expertise of some of the therapists. However, Johnny is convinced that one of them is, in fact, a brutal murderer. Will Maggie help or hinder the investigation? Will Johnny be persuaded to embrace Neo-liberal politics? How much does Johnny cost His Majesty’s treasury each year? These questions are explored in these latest nail-biting memoirs of Johnny Two Kebabs.

      The strangest episode of Johnny’s adventures so far sees him not only confronted by the ghost of Margaret Thatcher but also by the mystery surrounding the death of one of his acquaintances. An investigation at an esoteric and well-being convention is undertaken by Johnny who attends some therapy sessions and is surprised at the expertise of some of the therapists. However, Johnny is convinced that one of them is, in fact, a brutal murderer. Will Maggie help or hinder the investigation? Will Johnny be persuaded to embrace Neo-liberal politics? How much does Johnny cost His Majesty’s treasury each year? These questions are explored in these latest nail-biting memoirs of Johnny Two Kebabs.

    • The Two Kebabs Trilogy
      The Two Kebabs Trilogy

      The Two Kebabs Trilogy

      Johnny Two Kebabs
      0 ratings
      0 ratings

      This is the trilogy of three of the instalments of the memoirs of Johnny Two Kebabs 1. From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce 2. How I Found The G Spot 3. The Mixed Doner Murders In these pages, Johnny reveals the truth not only about how he thwarted a Russian assassination and a series of bombings in the UK but also how he solved the infamous ‘Mixed Doner Murders’ case. We learn how Johnny operates behind the scenes in his fight against evil on the mean streets of south London and also about his 'philosophy' and the 'ethical' code which as a 'conscious vigilante' he subscribes to.

      This is the trilogy of three of the instalments of the memoirs of Johnny Two Kebabs 1. From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce 2. How I Found The G Spot 3. The Mixed Doner Murders In these pages, Johnny reveals the truth not only about how he thwarted a Russian assassination and a series of bombings in the UK but also how he solved the infamous ‘Mixed Doner Murders’ case. We learn how Johnny operates behind the scenes in his fight against evil on the mean streets of south London and also about his 'philosophy' and the 'ethical' code which as a 'conscious vigilante' he subscribes to.

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