Welcome to the latest episode of The F Word at Work, where we’re once again sharing a conversation from our F Word at Work series we shared on zoom in 2022. Here we’re speaking to Noni Martins, Noni is Zimbabwean British and her husband is Nigerian British and the pair have been trying to conceive for five years. Three years ago, they discovered that they needed IVF and they thought the issue initially was a male factor however further investigation has shown its a female factor. Noni and her husband are still on their journey and Noni has been doing amazing work as a blogger and a podcaster and she has built an amazing support network for black women called Unfertility It aims destigmatize this conversation within the black community and help overcome some of the shame and all the other kinds of hurdles that people have in their way when it comes to accessing treatment.What was discussed: How a huge part of Noni's upbringing was 'to be a wife'When she got married they had already started trying, but by year 2, still wasn’t happeningShe had grown up surrounded by a hyper-fertile idea that getting pregnant was easyBig part of her identity as an African girl was to have children , therefore she had a serious sense of shame. Had pelvic pain in 3rd year which was when a nurse suggested she had more investigations Catapulted into the world of IVF and all the focus on Noni she hadn’t mentioned her husband had been a dialysis patient - diagnosed with male factorOverwhelm of 3 failed cyclesHer work was supportive and her husband was supportive but it took him a while to talk about his feelings. Impact of Christmas and how it made them feel not being parents - how her husband actually talked about how he felt Noni’s decision to talk about their experience publicly has helped with the unwanted questions from family yet people still make assumptions. Difficulty in ‘answering back’ to comments made as it’s not part of her culture to explain that someone has said something offensive, as it's easier to say nothing than deal with the consequences of saying something. How she felt about talking about her treatment at work over time How she had to step back from her social presence as it wasn’t working for her, affecting her mental health SIGN UP to our workshop on March 28th here Have a read of the impact blog we mentioned in this episode here Thanks once again to our series sponsor Apricity. Book a call to speak with us here Watch our FMAW 30-minute demo on our services to find out exactly how we'd support your organisation with our training and membership  Find out more about our services here  Follow us on Insta and hear what our community has to say  Join us on Linked In