Codependency and perfectionism... two peas in a pod. They are both reactions to internalized shame and the belief that there's something wrong with us. They are both rooted in the belief that we are not okay. They are both rooted in the belief that we must mold into someone we are not in order to be loved and accepted. They are both rooted in seeking external validation in order to feel okay about ourselves. “Perfectionism is a response to a shame-based and controlling home. The child mistakenly believes that she can avoid being shamed if she is perfect in her thinking and acting.” BRB p. 36 Alana Carvalho is a psychotherapist with a master’s degree in psychological counseling from Columbia University and extensive experience as a therapist, teacher, writer, and program director. She is the host of The Codependent Perfectionistic Podcast and the author of "Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist’s Guide to Parenting". She passionately assists people working on transforming their relationships, finding their voice, and healing trauma.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN PATREON - ADULT CHILD HEALING C OMMUNITY⬇️https://www.patreon.com/adultchild?HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT?  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild?️SHITSHOW MERCH?️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shopFollow Andrea on social -www.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpod Mid-roll music source https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UPBY-vvICw (I do not own the rights of song - for entertainment purposes only) Support the show