In today's episode we discuss anger in relationships: how it affects you and your partner. Anger can of course be a significant problem in your relationship if it is out of control. Anger can take many forms; it can be outer or inner directed. Unexpressed anger that is always held in can manifest as depression or self harm. In relationships where partner A is always angry it may also be the case that their role is to hold the anger in the relationship; they may express their partner B's anger on their behalf.Anger is a threat response in the wider sense; you are in fight mode and are responding to a perceived threat. You will anger in your body: your heart rate increases, you breathing may become more shallow, you may have sweaty palms, you have tunnel vision and many other symptoms.  If you can find the triggers for your anger you can address it more effectively: e.g. it might be your partner's tone of voice that sets you off. Our memories are emotional state dependent. A situation in the present can trigger memories of past situations where you felt slighted or undermined. We discuss how you may manage your anger more effectively, for example by learning to control your breathing or by practicing visualisations.The Relationship Maze courses:What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course:  https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship.Related podcasts:How to use Transactional Analysis to communicate better.