In today's episode we discuss common fears that come up when it comes to making a decision about your partner. We also talk about the challenges that arise if one or both partners opt out of or question their commitment to the relationship and their partner.What does the term 'commitment' conjure up for you? For many people the idea of committing to another person brings up a lot of fear. Frequently there may be an association with being trapped or stuck. Difficulties with committing to a relationship may be down to a fear of being tied down to a relationship and partner that does not feel safe. If your earlier relationship templates in life have primed you to expect trouble in intimate relationships or if you have learned that relying on another person can be risky, you are likely to be very cautious at the idea of making yourself vulnerable and having dependency needs. In particular an avoidant-dismissing attachment style is often associated with partners who are masters at defending against intimacy.Committing to another person and a relationship with this person means saying 'yes'. That does not mean that you have to agree to everything that your partner brings and that you cannot disagree. In fact, you frequently will. Fundamentally, committing to the relationship is a stance of openness to the other person.The process of committing to another person can happen relatively quickly for some people, however, for others it may take a while, in particular if they have been badly hurt before. Commitment issues often arise because there is an underlying lack of trust: the trust that the other person can really be there for you. Rather than staying in the relationship which feels risky, it might feel less painful potentially for the insecure person to exit before they get hurt.Even if you have made a firm commitment to your relationship by getting married, committing to your partner is an ongoing process that doesn't just stop after the wedding vows have been exchanged. Relationships go through different stages and in any relationship there will be two people with different view points, opinions, expectations and desires. These difference will cause the occasional, or frequent, conflict. Being committed to your partner and the relationship entails an openness to engage with your partner's perspective, even if you disagree with it or if it clashes with your own needs and wishes. For more information on improving your relationship or starting a new relationship head over to The Relationship Maze website.Get additional show notes on our podcast website here.