Greg and Patrick talk about how, although textbooks almost exclusively talk about simple random samples, in practice they almost never actually occur. To try to sort this out, they enlist the help of Dr. Laura Stapleton from the University of Maryland, who lived a prior life as an economist and knows a thing or two about sampling designs. Along the way they also discuss killing bugs, Winston Churchill, lies versus omissions, Oprah, signing toast, being conceived in an elevator, strah-TAH, social media polls, the generalizer, the green light button, court-ordered volunteer work, and poopooing.