“Deaf U” star Alexa Paulay-Simmons gets candid about who she is (and always has been) as a sexual person, and how that’s shaped her life—both on the inside through her choices and experiences, and on the outside with the tight-knit Deaf community and the show’s global audience. Alexa is a 24-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, straight, monogamous, with a sporty body. She was featured in the Netflix series “Deaf U”. At the time of this broadcast, she is dating fellow Deaf U cast member Braxton. BOOKMARK MOMENTS:   Alexa shares her first memory of sexual pleasure and asking her mom questions at age 6 or 7. Alexa finally has good sex—with someone she can give instructions to. She talks about how it can be awkward to use your hands for dual purposes—talking and pleasing—during sex. Daddy issues: Alexa struggles with game-playing, distancing herself, and a lack of communication with her sexual partners. With self-awareness, she chose to develop healthier habits. Leah and Alexa discuss the conversation on Deaf U around the unintended pregnancy, and consent (especially around ejaculating inside a woman). Alexa talks about power imbalances and ignored communication in the relationship, and how his wants began to supersede her needs. Alexa’s current relationship is full of communication and thereby trust. She shares how the Deaf community has responded to (and judged) her openness about sex. Her father is less than thrilled. Vaginismus is discussed; lubricant is your friend. (If it still hurts even with lube, it’s a good idea to get it checked out.) THE LOWDOWN: What’s the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had? What are your hard red lines, things that you won’t do? What belief did you have about sex as a child that you wish you could go back and correct her on now? Are there any other things that you’d like to clear up, anything else you’d like to say about how you were portrayed in the show? Don’t forget – as of July 2020 ALL audio extras are FREE at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex! I've done this because there are people who need this material but don't have the financial means to access it behind a paywall. But there are many costs associated with producing this show, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Our American Sign Language interpreter for this episode is Courtney Farbman. BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls Have a questions or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest   FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk Private Facebook Group - www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com   WORK WITH LEAH: Coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty   EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Special thanks - Liz Zirk Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak