STARS is an easy-to-remember acronym for conversations that lead to awesome consensual sex. Dr. Evelin Dacker developed the STARS method to create a way for potential and current partners to have a thorough and safe conversation about physical and relationship expectations.   Public Service Announcement: Sometimes discovery is the mother of tension. Intimate play can be easier and much more fun if you go in knowing what each other likes, or doesn’t.   Bookmark moments: 2:39 - What is the STARS conversation? Plus, if you’ve had it before, you should have it again. 6:36 - Dr. Evelin Dacker explains sex positivity. 9:03 - As she engaged in health research earlier in her career, she realized there’s a total lack of sex talk in the field. 12:11 - Leah shares an experience she had at her first small group portion of a STARS class. When asked to share what her turn-ons and avoids were, she burst into tears and couldn’t speak. 14:12 – Dr. Dacker breaks down each letter in STARS, and what those categories encompass. For example, dealing with shame and stigma are a part of the STI portion of the talk. 16:21 - Avoids are often boundaries related to trauma and fear; they may not be forever fixed. Also, don’t wait to talk about them until you’re heavy in the bedroom and unable to clearly hear your partner! 24:15 - Leah demonstrates a full STARS talk with her friend Ray.   Mentioned in this episode: havetimeforthetalk.com – The online home for the STARS talk   Join me on Patreon: As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE!  They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.  I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.   BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls   Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!   Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest   FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk Private Facebook Group - www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com   WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching   Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty   EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak