Lachlan was born with a vagina. His is the story of how a boy learned to be a girl, then learned to be invisible, then a lesbian, before learning that he could just be who he was all along, except that it’s still … complicated. In this super-sized episode… Lachlan is a 41-year-old transgender man. He describes himself as white, straight-ish, monogamish and single. He describes his body as a round, cuddly bear. Bookmark moments: 6:33 - Lachlan shares the complications around early sexual desire for him, because he knew he was attracted to other little girls. 11:11 - Lachlan’s parents don’t pressure him to gender conform as a kid, though trans isn’t a known thing back then. Until, a birthday party. He learns about “passing” and blouses, and struggles through his teens. 18:21 - He talks about his rich fantasy life as a teen, in which he is a tall handsome football-playing penis-bearing male vaguely modeled on Macguyver. 23:08 - Lachlan’s first sexual experience of any kind is at age 21 with his first girlfriend, who teaches him to masturbate. He squirts! 35:37 - The concept of transgender comes into his awareness. 40:49 - Lachlan comes out, despite fearing he will lose his entire family. 46:44 - After the news is broken to his father (by his mother) it is never spoken of between them again. 47:18 - Lachlan shares outward steps of transition; therapy, hormones, telling people you work with, growing facial hair. 53:36 - Becoming a man complicates his lesbian relationship. 55:05 - Lachlan details how sexuality transitions along with transitioning: the impacts of testosterone, top and bottom surgical options, the discomfort of still having to get a pap smear, etc. 1:08:14 - Lachlan talks about the mechanics around having sex in present day. 1:11:28 - Top surgery has enhanced appearance but decreased sensation. 1:14:45 - Heartbreak and pandemic create time alone. 1:16:12 - Lachlan passes fully as a male, and decides if and when disclosure comes, in normal life as well as dating. 1:20:28 - He opens the door on bathroom talk. The Lowdown The entire Lowdown Q&A is on Patreon this week because this episode was already SO long!!!  Don’t forget – ALL audio extras are FREE at Patreon! ALL audio extras are now FREE for everyone!!!!!  They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.  If you’d like to support the work I do, you can make a monthly contribution at that site. Mentioned in the episode: Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg – download a free PDF of the book at https://www.lesliefeinberg.net Book a PJ Party!!!  All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty FACEBOOK GROUP: www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk HAVE A QUESTION OR COMMENT?: Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON: Become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex RATE THIS POD: Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls BE A GUEST: Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest COACHING: Want to talk with Leah directly? Visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey (website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music – Nazar Rybak