Michelle is a 42-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as black and married. She is currently sorting through whether she is gay or bisexual, and in the process she and her wife have opened up what was previously a monogamous marriage. Major themes in this episode include discovering (and re-discovering) sexual orientation, mismatched libido in a marriage, infidelity and honesty within a marriage, and discovering physical desire in her 40s. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 5:35 – Michelle’s first-grade crush on her female teacher 10:00 – Michelle’s experience of inappropriate touch at 7 years old 11:00 – Michelle’s first kiss in college 13:00 – The power dynamic of giving blowjobs 14:30 – The cultural taboo of black men giving oral sex to women 16:00 – Michelle’s first experience of receiving oral sex and intercourse 18:18 – Michelle’s first experience with a woman 22:30 – Discomfort with sexual fluids 26:50 – Coming out to her friends as gay – and their reaction 33:00 – Mismatched libidos lead her wife to seek sex outside the marriage 35:50 – Michelle feels stirrings of raw passion with a man 41:05 – Michelle’s identity crisis over attraction to a male and potentially losing her identity as a strong lesbian 45:50 – Finally having an honest conversation with her wife – the impact and the aftermath The Lowdown: Because this episode ran so long, this week’s entire Q&A is available to everyone FOR FREE at Patreon! The Patreon extras for this episode are: FREE – The extended Q&A At the $1/month level, Michelle and I talk about how strong she was to get help as a young child, and how she doesn’t see herself that way At the $5/month level, Michelle considers whether her early attraction to men was authentic or manufactured so she could feel “normal” At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex. If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2. Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by – Nazar Rybak