30: Don't Masturbate To Death

FromHello Dysfunction

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30: Don't Masturbate To Death

FromHello Dysfunction

ratings:

Length:

102 minutes

Released:

Apr 23, 2019

Format:

Podcast episode

Description

Episode 30 shows up with a bang. Literally. Some talk about how much April sucks, vaginal steaming bars, Crystal's new auntie tribe and the importance of tipping. Dont ask flight crews to do your dirty deeds, queens and princesses, overbearing moms and how Pata Fria's been spending her free time.

Enjoy xo

Released:

Apr 23, 2019

Format:

Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Childhood best friends, Pata Fria and Crystal share the personal dysfunction in their lives, view on news, gossip, politics and so much more. Nothing is off limits, and everything is funny.

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1: Purple Taser: For episode one, Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie come out with a bang. The girls start off discussing Pata Fria's recent BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift), crazy Florida stories, the infamous purple taser, mental illness, medication and Crystal accidentally seein... by Hello Dysfunction
118 min listen
19: Everything Is Gay: This week there's some talk about problematic celebrities, the beginning of Black History Month, our shitty government, how the internet really can be great, interesting animal facts, listener questions and a story about bikers undoing their pants. ... by Hello Dysfunction
109 min listen
13: "Cheese Sandwiches": This week the chaos of Christmas, vintage tips on how to snag a husband, Karma and a false birth control method are all discussed. Crystal shares some family dysfunction and we find out why you shouldn't tell Pata Fria you own a restaurant. Happy Holid... by Hello Dysfunction
83 min listen
4: Grandma Candy & Pocket Cheese: This week the deviant duo return with even more dysfunction. Vaginal hygiene, loving people while they're here, Halloween, ghost stories and superstitions. Later in the show they answer some listener questions, talk about male hygiene and a Dom story t... by Hello Dysfunction
108 min listen
3: Tether Ball: In this tell all episode Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie open up and share everything about themselves. Secrets are spilled. They discuss mental health, why we (women) settle for the bare minimum, and the difference between pedophiles and cougars. ... by Hello Dysfunction
109 min listen
7: I'm A Doctor: From chemtrails, to California fires, to Pata Fria's burn unit vagina story, this week the girls are on fire, literally. The duo also goes over premature ejaculation, tampons vs. diva cups, racism, and a ghost story. This episode is packed with self-lo... by Hello Dysfunction
104 min listen
15: Stay Outta The Creek: Dog rescues, R. Kelly's bullshit, disturbing childhood stories, bullying, some parenting tips, and dirty creek rendezvous. Trigger warning- sexual assault, grooming and other sensitive issues are discussed. https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram... by Hello Dysfunction
111 min listen
25: Would You F*ck My Dead Body?: This week is episode 25 and the dysfunction continues with an array of interesting subjects. Some advice is offered to their younger selves, astronauts get a lot of herpes, some women really love dick pics, the French appreciate gross smells, can you r... by Hello Dysfunction
96 min listen
2: Dark Web: This episode requires a trigger warning. Serious issues are discussed including domestic violence, sex work/safety, murder, child abusers, and child molestation. The duo also touches on lighthearted subjects; The slut walk, favorite podcasts, birth cha... by Hello Dysfunction
87 min listen
8: Curing Rickets: Crystal’s father Big Billy is here and the dysfunction is outta control. "I didn't do drugs before I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, I just smoked pot, did acid and rode my motorcycle." Buckle up motherf$^#*s…. Subscribe to our maili... by Hello Dysfunction
97 min listen
12: The Playboy Club: Mental health, toxic relationship behavior, and why Crystal should never enter a church kick off this week's episode. The girls also talk about period sex, shitty celebrities, pervy friends, and Pata Fria's love of shock sites. The holidays, childhood ... by Hello Dysfunction
89 min listen
17: Are You International?: This week's episode wishes a happy birthday to MLK, touches on some current political dysfunction, the raising of older kids, the effects of drugs and mental illness on a family. Crystal's unhealthy ice cream addiction and bizarre eating habits, pledge... by Hello Dysfunction
103 min listen
5: The Stolen Car: It's episode five, and the dysfunction continues. This week the girls are talking about adults that don't do oral, scissoring, pegging, and the time Pata taught Crystal how to drive a stolen car. The girls take some listener questions, give a PSA about... by Hello Dysfunction
98 min listen
30: Don't Masturbate To Death: Episode 30 shows up with a bang. Literally. Some talk about how much April sucks, vaginal steaming bars, Crystal's new auntie tribe and the importance of tipping. Dont ask flight crews to do your dirty deeds, queens and princesses, overbearing moms and... by Hello Dysfunction
102 min listen
6: Gas Station Salad & Dirty Sanchez: The dysfunctional duo is back, and unapologetically unfiltered while discussing sex dolls, g-spot location, open marriages, liars, and prison relationships. They are breaking it down and dissecting so listen up. Subscribe to our mailing list for upd... by Hello Dysfunction
99 min listen
22: Who Thought This Was A Good Idea: This week we tried something new and had our producer Lev sit in. He won't be back. Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow by Hello Dysfunction
137 min listen
11: Gramma's Heart Attack: This week the dysfunction gets a bit serious. The girls are discussing kaiser's strike, losing virginity, relationship advice, holding grudges, a few very personal stories, and more crying (what's new). Of course the mood is lightened with some of Pata... by Hello Dysfunction
94 min listen
27: YOU WEAR FAKE TOES??: Episode 27 is full of random subjects and theories...we revisit chem trails, the effect hairstyles can have on a person, STRONG animal love, sex workers tend to steal, Crystal doesn't eat food or wear panties, Pata Fria completely misunderstood an eBay... by Hello Dysfunction
113 min listen
18: Foreskin & Pepper Spray: This week's discussion includes circumcision, pubic hair preferences, parental enablers, the new abortion law, birth control tips, war on sex workers, views on Future and Chris Brown, how to avoid being roofied, and why you should always double check y... by Hello Dysfunction
136 min listen
28: Funerals Should Be Funny: This week a lot of subjects are covered. White privilege is definitely real, Pata Fria made it to Detroit, Crystal does a good deed, pay attention to signs the universe is sending you, put the car in park before you get out, unfortunate news, Fisting i... by Hello Dysfunction
122 min listen
29: I Like To Get Stretched: After an interesting weekend episode 29 covers it all. Pata Fria had a panic, Crystal Barbie and family keep things interesting. Some info and details about kink life, sugar daddies are just older boyfriends, a few celebrity news stories, Planet Fitn... by Hello Dysfunction
103 min listen
9: Weird Sex: The holidays are here, and so is the dysfunction. This week the duo are talking about weird news, the online attack on sex-workers, favorite porn, a mirror ghost, and penis size. The girls close out with some listener questions, crazy sex, and a few fu... by Hello Dysfunction
111 min listen
37: Piss over ice by Hello Dysfunction
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14: God's Well: It's New Year's Eve and in this final episode of 2018, Pata Fria and Crystal discuss the new year, white parents w mixed children, repairing your credit, being a submissive Christian wife, how Pata Fria got scammed on craigslist and having foul-mouthed... by Hello Dysfunction
92 min listen
35: Wet n Wild 508 by Hello Dysfunction
106 min listen
20: Two for Twomp: This week starts off w some celebrity drama, blackface fashion becoming an intentional trend, it's Black History Month, grey sweats are for bachelors only, pathological liars, Pata shares an unfortunate incident (trigger warning: a sexual assault is di... by Hello Dysfunction
113 min listen
16: So Fuckin Majestic: The following are Rob's guy notes: 1\. Range rover white girl curves 2\. Pata watched netflix and been on her meds 3\. Back page and cryptocurrency 4\. Minimalism 5\. Documentary disagreements 6\. Sexworkers 7\. Good karma moments ... by Hello Dysfunction
102 min listen
$16: So Fuckin Majestic: The following are Rob's guy notes: 1\. Range rover white girl curves 2\. Pata watched netflix and been on her meds 3\. Back page and cryptocurrency 4\. Minimalism 5\. Documentary disagreements 6\. Sexworkers 7\. Good karma moments ...$
10: Parental Advisory: This week the dysfunctional duo are offering up parental advice of all sorts. From the Hawaiian Pine-sol event, apologizing to your children, walking the parent/friend line, and teaching your children gratitude. The girls also touch on dick pics, "porn... by Hello Dysfunction
105 min listen
34: Ancestry Is Messy by Hello Dysfunction
114 min listen
24: Would You Rather...: This week episode 24 begins with some feelings about the weather, how we're not anti-pimp and calling men a bitch is a universal no no. Stevi handles business, strip club etiquette and a little talk about Michael Jackson is discussed. More paranormal a... by Hello Dysfunction
97 min listen

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30: Don't Masturbate To Death

30: Don't Masturbate To Death

Description

Titles in the series (100)

More Episodes from Hello Dysfunction

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