24 min listen
It’s Not About Who Wins
ratings:
Length:
19 minutes
Released:
Feb 9, 2022
Format:
Podcast episode
Description
I remember saying to a couple on my couch, both claiming they were doing more and working harder for their relationship, “It’s not a competition!"
They didn’t much seem to believe me. They were simultaneously trying to win while proving they were losing. Yep, they were trying to win at a game of “who does more and gets less.” I am not sure what the trophy would have been, but the “prize” appeared to be a battered and painful marriage.
And they weren’t alone. They AREN’T alone! Lots of couples act like they are in a competition to win. And they think it is an individual sport, not a team sport!
That’s where the damage happens. Instead of playing to win at life, they are playing to win against a spouse.
Against. Anytime you find yourself against your spouse, you can guarantee the outcome is not a win for the team. It is not a help for the marriage… for the relationship.
With every win you get in an individual competition, there is a loser… in this case, your spouse. And if your spouse wins, you lose.
Learn why this is so dangerous and how to escape the one-on-one competition in this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast. Listen below.
RELATED RESOURCES
Being on the Team
Being a WE
What about Conflict?
Why Connection Matters
Save The Marriage System
They didn’t much seem to believe me. They were simultaneously trying to win while proving they were losing. Yep, they were trying to win at a game of “who does more and gets less.” I am not sure what the trophy would have been, but the “prize” appeared to be a battered and painful marriage.
And they weren’t alone. They AREN’T alone! Lots of couples act like they are in a competition to win. And they think it is an individual sport, not a team sport!
That’s where the damage happens. Instead of playing to win at life, they are playing to win against a spouse.
Against. Anytime you find yourself against your spouse, you can guarantee the outcome is not a win for the team. It is not a help for the marriage… for the relationship.
With every win you get in an individual competition, there is a loser… in this case, your spouse. And if your spouse wins, you lose.
Learn why this is so dangerous and how to escape the one-on-one competition in this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast. Listen below.
RELATED RESOURCES
Being on the Team
Being a WE
What about Conflict?
Why Connection Matters
Save The Marriage System
Released:
Feb 9, 2022
Format:
Podcast episode
Titles in the series (100)
“Is ‘Trying’ Disrespectful?” – When A Spouse Wants Out: "Gem" wrote me after a recent episode of my podcast. In that episode, a therapist said, after one single session (where divorce had not been mentioned) that the client needed to prepare for divorce. In Gem's case, by The Save The Marriage Podcast