A Comprehensive Guide to Navigating Mom and Dad's Care

By Rebekah Middlebrooks and Irene Zeno

No one wants to believe their parents will soon grow older and no longer be able to care for themselves.
Preparing for that eventuality will ensure your parents are well taken care of, and your family can continue functioning in a healthy, supportive way. A Caregiver's Guide to Navigating Mom and Dad's Care is the ultimate resource designed to ease you through this important transition and keep your parents healthy, happy, and prepared for the future.
This comprehensive guide covers important topics like: Dealing with Guilt and the Emotions of Care Taking Navigating Senior Care & Senior LivingFinancial StrategiesHow to Make Informed Decisions In CrisisHow to Prepare for Longterm Care And so much more.
Growing older is an inevitability we all face. Doing so in a logical progression while arming yourself with the latest information and tips not only eases the stress, it prevents unnecessary hardships and heartache during those most trying times.
Let A Caregivers Guide to Navigating Mom and Dad's Care help you plan accordingly. Too many seniors face hardships the older they get, but it doesn't have to be that way. Filled with helpful strategies, tips, and more, let this guide ease your loved ones' transition to the next stage of their lives.
Don't let your loved ones suffer through their golden years. They deserve better, and so do you. The future starts here.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rebekah Middlebrooks
• Release date: May 13, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224409136

Book preview

Introduction: In Line With Your Vision

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rnie and Sophia Watson had just gotten back from their honeymoon. Naturally, they were filled with excitement for their future to come. Ernie had just received a promotion at work after years of dedication and late nights. Sophia‘s business was booming and was running on autopilot. Ernie and Sophia had no other responsibilities and, for the first time in their lives, were thinking of taking it easy and just enjoying each other’s company. That is until Ernie’s mother, Candice, was rushed to the hospital after she tripped while getting into the shower.

Candice had been to their wedding and, apart from a few moments when she had turned down a dance or two, she had seemed fine. Still, her refusal to dance at the wedding seemed out of the ordinary. Ernie took a mental note of it but was soon preoccupied with other things.

A woman in her 70s, Candice had always been a very active member of the local community. Like Sophia, she ran her own local business, becoming the most successful pet grooming business in her city. She had always been full of life and was often described by friends as the life of the party. She was boisterous, energetic, and couldn’t sit still for one moment.

At the hospital, the Watsons learned that Candice needed hip replacement surgery. Their lives were about to change. From that moment, Ernie became Candice’s full-time caregiver. Candice was no longer able to go up and down the stairs of the home she had shared with her husband for four decades. With this second priority, Ernie had to learn how to juggle his career with what was essentially a second job. He loved his mother and would do whatever it took to make her happy. But making her happy was taking a toll on his career, his marriage, and his happiness.

Eventually, Ernie and Sophia, overwhelmed by the amount of care Candice needed, would move her into an assisted living community. Although she was reluctant to move, fearing the loss of her independence, Candice eventually agreed to sell her home and allow the proceeds from the sale to be used to pay for her care.

It was a difficult period for the Watsons, and, with very little information, it was even more difficult navigating Candice’s care.

Being a caregiver today is a minefield. According to statistics from the National Center for Assisted Living (NCAL) and the Administration for Community Living and Administration on Aging (Samuels, 2023), from now until 2030, 10,000 baby boomers will reach retirement age each day. Many will seek in-home care an assisted living options once they’re no longer able to care for themselves independently. By 2040, over 80 million people in the U.S. will be over 65 years old, with that number growing to nearly 95 million by 2060, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Someone turning 65 today has a seven-in-ten chance of needing some type of senior care as they age.

The responsibility for aging baby boomers rests squarely on their children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and other younger family members. That means that, statistically, you are very likely to become a caregiver to a senior family member. Without having cared for a senior before, these stats can be shocking. Likewise, the responsibility for caring for a senior can seem daunting at first. That’s why we have written this book.

We are Rebekah Middlebrooks and Irene Zeno, and we are both Senior Transition Specialists. We work to provide guidance to those who are seeking the assistance of senior professionals with the expertise to give advice through the transitioning process from being just the child, parent, friend, or grandchild into now becoming the caregiver. After years of hands-on experience in senior care and the real estate market, we’ve both witnessed many families who waited too long to plan for senior care I get it. We all want to believe that we’ve got more time. Sure, you may have noticed signs here or there that your loved one might need more assistance daily, but if they are still going strong, why fix something that’s not broken? But let’s keep it real. Over 70% of seniors will need care at some point. And you already know from past experiences that life is always bringing unexpected twists and turns. So why wait powerlessly for the unexpected when you can plan for it months and even years in advance? With my experience in the senior care industry, I know that making decisions when you’re in control is a thousand times easier than waiting for a crisis to dictate your choices. You make less mistakes - mistakes that can be costly. And you are able to minimize any damage this emotional toll will take on your relationships, including your relationship with the senior for whom you are responsible. Senior care is not about reacting to life’s curveballs. It’s about enhancing your loved one’s golden years so they can live independently and securely.

I’ve been there, watching families get all tangled up, emotionally and financially, by costs, logistics, and the emotional weight of suddenly becoming the main decision-maker. I’ve watched families break up because this weight, coupled with the confusion of it all, became too burdensome to carry. It’s heart-wrenching and, to make things worse, completely preventable. That’s why I’ve written this book. We want to help you avoid the common pitfalls most first-time senior caregivers face. I’ve poured my heart into this book so that you can navigate this journey like a pro and reach your destination with as few scrapes and bumps as possible.

This book is your flashlight for when things get hazy. It’s your encyclopedia when you are consumed by those burning questions: Where do I start? What’s the right move? Who’s truly here for me? What about insurance? What happens to my parent’s home? Who will take care of my loved one while I’m at work? How can I afford it? With so many questions to answer, we’ve spent countless sleepless nights packing this book with all the information you need to help you find clarity and direction during a highly-emotional period of your life. That way, you can make the best decisions for you or your loved ones without getting clouded by negative emotions like stress, guilt, and fear. You can make sound decisions from a healthy state of rest, helping you to secure the best life possible for your loved one. By planning ahead, you’ll navigate life’s changes on your own terms.

The first thing you need to do is understand the world of senior care. Join me in Chapter One, as I discuss what senior care really is.

Part I: Navigating Aging and Caregiving

A Caregiver’s Tale

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rs. Smith was an 82-year-old elderly woman who lived alone. Prior to her husband passing away, she was his primary caregiver. She cared for him for years. It wasn’t until after he passed that she ended up having some health conditions of her own.

Her adult children noticed that she was becoming very forgetful. Bills were being paid late, causing her utility services to be disconnected. She also began to forget to take her medication. To make matters worse, Mrs. Smith took a nasty fall, causing her to be transported to the emergency room.

What happened next took the family by storm. During her hospital visit, she was diagnosed with cancer. This was a big shock to her family. It was obvious she needed more care. In fact, to be released from the hospital, the doctor made it mandatory that she have 24-hour care.

Both her son and daughter were now tasked with the decision of figuring out who was going to be mom’s primary caregiver. While her daughter would have been the ideal caregiver, she lived an hour away, so the responsibility would have to be on her younger son who lived locally. But her son, Jacob, worked full time to support his stay-at-home wife and three kids. He just couldn’t take on mom’s care.

That’s when they decided that moving mom to an assisted living community would be a better fit for her. That way, she could get around-the-clock care. But where to start? The clock was ticking. They had to find