A Girl I Use to Recall: A Biography

By Amanda Forry/Fino

In "A Girl I Used to Recall: A Biography," Amanda Forry/Fino bravely reveals the raw tapestry of her compelling life journey as a survivor of cerebral palsy. Amanda's story encapsulates the enduring spirit of resilience and unwavering determination.

From the depths of abuse, neglect, and homelessness, Amanda's narrative resonates with courage and an unyielding quest for peace and acceptance. Her poignant memoir offers a window into a world of physical challenges, prejudice, and isolation, yet amidst it all, she finds solace in the written word and in the unwavering support of her adopted partner.

This gripping and emotionally charged account is a testament to the transformative power of hope, illuminating the resilient human spirit in the face of adversity. "A Girl I Used to Recall" is a profoundly moving reminder that even in the darkest of times, healing, growth, and ultimately, peace are attainable. Join Amanda on her inspiring journey to find light in the shadows and solace in the storm.

TIGGER WARNING: The following content may contain sensitive material including parental abuse, sexual assault, and the mental health professional/client relationship. Reader discretion is advised.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Release date: May 17, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224819690

Amanda Forry/Fino

Currently a best-selling author, Amanda Forry/Fino was previously known as an romance novelist, who wrote six books under the pen name Sasha Fino. After becoming a Christian, she had to take these books off the shelves as she had to stop selling them. Since becoming a Christian Amanda has Her book, "Living with Cerebral Palsy," a collaboration between Amanda and 22 other authors with Cerebral Palsy, has made Amanda a best selling author in her own right, as she has published "The Path To The Church And Disabled Adults" and "Living With Cerebral Palsy: a collection of inspiring stories from cp warriors worldwide" Furthermore, she has rewritten her autobiography entitled "A Lifetime Fight- Living with Cerebral Palsy" to reflect her journey to faith and values. Amanda is a part of the DC Author's Dinner Group that includes some of the most significant bestselling authors of our time.  In addition to being an author, executive director, and creator of CP Gal's World, Amanda Forry/Fino also provides an exclusive YouTube channel dedicated to addressing and promoting the importance of including people with disabilities within the world of religion. Having graduated from the Partnership in Policymaking Association, she facilitates grassroots advocacy. In addition to making videos and writing online, Amanda also enjoys walking, time with her family, reading the Bible, and being active in her church community. She lives with her family in Williamsburg, Virginia.

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A Girl I Use to Recall: A Biography

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Amanda Forry/Fino

Copyright © 2024 Amanda Forry/Fino

All rights reserved

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher at this email, [e-mail]

ISBN-13: 9798224819690

ISBN: 9798324716493

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0D2P4DWD1

Publication date ‏ : ‎ May 17, 2024

Imprint: Independently published

Cover design by: Canva

Printed in the United States of America

TRIGGER WARNING

What is happening

In December 2019, a novella titled Cerebral Palsy Gal was released. This was followed by the release of Living Strong with Cerebral Palsy: The True Story of Amanda Forry/Fino on March 25, 2021. The book was later re-titled as Eternal Sunshine of the CP Gal's Mind and then again as A Girl I Used to Recall: A Biography. It's a bit confusing, as the book now has five different titles. What's going on, Amanda?

There must be a reason why, and I'm sure you're all wondering about it. Frankly speaking, I have received negative feedback in the past regarding my romantic relationship with my mental health therapist in this edition of the book. Editors, other authors, and readers have expressed strong opposition to this, as they consider it to be an abuse of power by a medical professional. As a result, the book was edited and released multiple times under different titles.

​I understand that many people have strong feelings against certain practices in mental health therapy, and may even consider it abuse when carried out by a medical professional. However, I want to clarify that this is not the case with me and my therapist.

If you have unfortunately experienced therapist abuse in the past, I am deeply sorry. Please note that this book does not include any instances of trauma bonding or gaslighting within the main storyline. If you are uncomfortable with these topics, Reading this book could be detrimental to both of our mental well-being. Therefore, I strongly advise that you refrain from reading it.

It was extremely difficult for me to lose so many friends and be blocked on Facebook. People did not understand the central message of my book and ended up destroying it. The experience pushed me to the brink of death. However, that's when I found Jesus and turned to Christianity. I rewrote the book as a Christian biography, which was published over a year ago under the title 'A Lifetime Fight - Living with Cerebral Palsy'."

I feel an overwhelming impulse to divulge the unfiltered intricacies of my existence with cerebral palsy. This urge stems from a deep-seated need to bring attention to this often-misunderstood condition. I believe that if I am not completely honest about my experiences, no one else will be. By sharing my raw and uncensored story, I hope to shed light on the challenges and triumphs that come with living with cerebral palsy. Thank you for considering this suggestion. 

PREFACE

I am looking back today with a better of my past! I truly ponder; Was it me, my mother, who could not accept my condition, the children I wanted to be accepted by, my inability to perform nor keep up with the schooling agenda, wanting to be accepted? Frustration with my having cerebral palsy and knowing this disorder will be with me for the rest of my life. I cannot put my finger on any one thing. Most likely all. I do know; it has been a hard road. So hurtful at times that I wanted to end it all. However, I have found a path to keep me strong, believe in others, and feel for those less fortunate. My belief in religion and its heavenly blanket makes it much more comfortable for me and gives me the drive to understand and acceptance for my CP.

Do not get me wrong; it is hard and blocks my future of many of my desires. I am a woman with the sexual desires that come with it, knowing they may never be fulfilled.

My writings below point out how I felt at those times. I do not feel that way today. Back then, I blamed others without pointing the finger at myself. I have changed! I still have temper tantrums, but now they are more controllable. The past few years have change me for the better. I forgive all those who hurt me and my feelings, and I can only pray that they forgive me. I genuinely thank all of you who have come to know me.

I dedicate this written journey to all of you.

1

Living Strong with CP

Having cerebral palsy can be hard and sometimes painful, both mentally and physically.  However, in addition to cerebral palsy, the doctor also diagnosed me with PTSD and Bipolar II in 2017. 2017.

Yet, I learned that I’m not alone. It’s WE not I in the fight for a cure for CP. I can feel it in my bones that we are so close to treatment - not just for CP but for all disabilities if we stop wasting money on things.

I love waking up each morning to the sweet smell of coffee and going downstairs to a fresh cup of coffee waiting for me along with my morning greeting from my dad. While the 6 am starting of Fox and Friends appears on TV, of course, we go back and forth between CNN and MSNBC News. For about an hour, dad and I discuss anything new that is going on in our lives and such.  I never saw myself being a 30-year-old drinking coffee and watching the news and being grateful for each new day. After coffee, off  I go to take the six morning pills that help me deal with my cerebral palsy and mental health. Then I head upstairs, turning on my computer to what I refer to as the Facebook world, and start the day while having a cup of coffee with my beloved friend Annie as we talk about everything. I live in Williamsburg, V.A. and am the author of other works of adult fiction.

I am here today as a self-advocate, a proud Virginian, a concerned citizen, and a member of the Training Alumni Association (T.A.A.)—an association of graduates of the Partners in Policymaking program and the Youth Leadership Academy supported by the Virginia Board for People with Disabilities that facilitates grassroots advocacy. I’m a proud graduate of this year’s class of 2020.

I was born with cerebral palsy as a result of a difficult birth. However, I have decided to wear my CP as a badge of courage." I’m ready to tell everything aboutthe traumatic childhood I endured, including physical, mental, sexual, and emotional abuse from my family.

While coping with the death of my father to cancer at age fifty-nine, my biologicalmother changed from a loving mother to someone who hated me. This resulted in her having me locked  up through my teen years in my own family home.

My mom manipulated and gaslighted me into believing anger and hate was the way to live. I’ve survived three murder attempts by her hand. She made me feel like an animal, a monster that needed to be locked up. My mom tried to get me locked up in a mental asylum or a group home for disabled people so she could forget about me — acting like I was never her own daughter. On several occasions, I was driven to the near edge of life itself. It was a chance meeting with a former U.S. intelligence officer, his Russian-born wife, and their son that saved my life. They opened up their home – giving me the chance to be part of a loving family that I had so dearly craved. We are in the adoption process right now, and I’m changing my last name to their family name, Fino.

With all of life's curves, twists, turns, and crossroads, I've had the time to think. With all the road construction and getting loas on my way, it was a miracle that I arrived home at last: 26 years, 9 months, and 22 days later.! Fun fact, the A.D.A. was passed into law 110 days after I was born. This law gives me my life. I have the right to fly on an airplane alone. I have the right to go safely to school and do my studies with an I. E. P. that got my O.T., P.T., and speech therapy for me. Once I grew into an adult, it turned into a different story…

I have hundreds of ideas for improvement. In- come is often a barrier to attending social events and being visible. We should have discounts, like the military and the elderly have. Why do we look at people with disabilities like we do today, I ask you? Sometimes I feel like the world forgets about us, people with disabilities, giving us lip service. In the early 1900s, people with disabilities were sent off to state institutions, or even worse, to jail. I was heartbroken and disturbed when I read about what took place in the book, "Christmas in Purgatory" (1965). It was by far the most unearthly thing that Americans ever did.

In 2015, I remember touring a facility for disabled adults in another state. It was located in a dangerous, depressed neighborhood. There were bars on the windows to keep them in and the neighbors out. At twenty-five years of age, I felt like the staff treated them, the disabled adults, as if they were cattle. When I looked at the people who were there, they were miserable. The rooms were not temperature-controlled and were dilapidated. I was angry with the authorities, the uncaring community, and the disrespect. I was in tears.

My dream for the future is to help open what I call luxury disability living. I realize gloving is required by law to prevent the spread of disease among staff and patients. However, it also leads to distancing the team from the residents. I want to make room decor inviting, allow food choices at meals, encourage outside guests at meals, and provide space for community meetings. Why do we have to wait until we are 65 years old to experience senior living at its best?

Providing shopping and cultural expeditions also make us visible to the public. Regular access to transportation would allow people with disabilities to access the community just like anyone else. A person could complete their shopping, try an adventurous new experience, or even go to the spa. Should people with disabilities be able to go to a resort if they want to? Heckl yes! Why not enjoy life like others?

I’m going to just put it like it is.  In my point   of view, I am not a hero or that gal that you call inspiring. I have really blown it and messed things up, including many relationships in the past. God is magnificent, which helps me become a better person today. Before, I had a horrible temper and, to put it simply, I was not the kind of person that you would want to know. I am not scared to talk about my long list