Control Freak - an MM Friends to Lovers Romance: Fire Season, #2

By Ezra Dao

Devon

I didn't realize how lonely cutting everyone off would make me until I was standing in a goddamn hospital with a bullet wound, and they asked me for my emergency contact. I didn't have any to list, and it broke me.

So I'm back in my hometown and ready to make amends with the only person I should never have left behind: my best friend, Sean. He's reluctant to forgive me — after all, I ghosted him for eight years — but when I tell him I'll do anything to earn back his trust, Sean comes back with a list of rules:
1. Two weeks together in a remote one bedroom cabin. We do everything together.
2. I must sleep in his bed.
3. He won't touch me unless I beg for it.

I'd always thought I was straight, but the deeper I fall into my best friend's control, the more I'm starting to question what I really want from him — maybe it's way more than friendship. And what happens when two neighbors stop by to play makes me more sure of my feelings than ever.

Sean
The list was supposed to be a joke. I was afraid to let Devon back into my life, and I did the only thing I could think of to scare him away.
But the joke's on me — my best friend grew up into a wildly handsome man, and it barely takes twenty four hours to get Devon to rule #3. Before I know it, the innocent crush I nurtured as a boy is turning into something far deeper, but I'm terrified to let my heart get involved.
What if he leaves me again?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ezra Dao
• Release date: Apr 21, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224452781

Book preview

Control Freak

An M/M BDSM Romance

Ezra Dao

Copyright ©2024 by Ezra Dao

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

More about this series: https://ezradaoauthor.com/fireseason

Contents

1.Sean

2.Devon

3.Sean

4.Devon

5.Sean

6.Devon

7.Sean

8.Sean

9.Devon

10.Devon

11.Sean

12.Devon

13.Sean

14.Devon

15.Sean

16.Devon

17.Sean

18.Devon

19.Sean

20.Sean

21.Devon

22.Sean

23.Sean

24.Devon

25.Devon

26.Devon

27.Sean

28.Sean

29.Devon

30.Sean

31.Epilogue - Sean

Bonus Content - Fire Season

one

Sean

The sweet aroma of freshly baked cinnamon rolls wafted through the air as I slid the tray out of the oven, surveying my handiwork with a satisfied grin. 

A bell rang over the door and I set the cinnamon rolls on the cooling rack and walked out of the kitchen to see my sister Caty leaning against the counter, her brown skin glowing with a subtle sheen of perspiration. Based on that and her yoga pants, I guessed she’d come from a workout class at the gym next door. 

The paint looks great! She flipped her hair behind her back. Her long braids were up in a ponytail and bounced as she spun around, taking in the quotes on the walls, the artwork from a local artist who painted wild, vibrant flowers, and the brightly colored paints. Perfectly you. 

I’m thrilled with how it came out. I gazed around the shop, smiling. 

It couldn’t come out less than perfect with you in charge, control freak. Your checklists had checklists. Caty pointed to my trusty clipboard on the counter, where my current checklist was sitting. 

Hey! Checklists are a way of life. You’d think as an event planner you’d know that! I wiped down the counter as she helped herself to a cup of coffee from the dispenser along the side counter. Sweet Escape had been my dream since I was little. My little bakery had finally come together over the past year, and I was thrilled with it. The whole place felt like stepping into a happy dream—my happy dream. 

Busy morning, huh? She stood and helped me clear trash and coffee mugs off a few of the tables. 

Yeah, and Mel is sick, so I’m here alone today. No rest for the wicked. Thanks for the help! I washed my hands before pouring myself a much-needed coffee and settling back down at the table she’d been sitting at. The morning rush always left me both exhilarated and exhausted. 

Before I could relax, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I fished it out, frowning when I saw a text from an unknown number. Rolling my eyes, I set it down facedown.

Not gonna answer that? Caty’s eyes sparkled, and I could tell she was hoping it was some juicy gossip. I shoved a cinnamon roll her way to shut her up.

My phone has been buzzing all morning. I think it’s spam. 

Bummer, I was hoping it was a boy. 

Girl, you know my love life is even worse than yours. 

She grabbed my phone and swiped it open. I really needed to change my password. Her eyes widened, and she handed the phone back to me. 

Not spam. 

I looked down at the text, and my heart stopped. 

Hey Sean, it’s Devon. I know it’s been a long time, but I was hoping we could catch up. Can we talk?

I stared at the phone in disbelief, a jumble of emotions swirling through me—shock, anger, confusion, and beneath it all, a flicker of hope. Devon was reaching out after all these years. But why now? 

Well, he didn’t die. She took a sip of her coffee. 

Shit. I stared down at the phone, trying to decide what to make of the message. 

I can’t believe he has the nerve to text you out of the blue like that. After disappearing for eight years. She took the phone back from me. I’m going to take this. For your own good. 

I tried to snatch the phone from her hand, but all those workout classes she did were paying off, and she kept moving. 

Maybe I want to hear from him. I mean, his parents had just died. You don’t know what he was going through.

Why didn’t he turn to you for help, then? 

Caty, I said, holding out my hand for the phone. Let me deal with it.

Caty rolled her eyes and handed the phone back to me. Okay. But I won’t forgive him for ghosting you for eight years, Sean. His departure devastated you. I never want to see you so heartbroken again.

I sighed, running a hand over my face. She was right. Devon’s disappearance had gutted me. We’d been inseparable since nursery school, and then suddenly, he was… gone. No goodbye, no explanation, only radio silence. 

I know. Maybe he wants to make things right. Even as I spoke, doubt warred with hope in my heart. Because, eight years later, I still missed my best friend. 

Caty looked at me, her expression softening. Be careful, okay? I don’t want to see you get hurt again.

I have to know, I said, meeting Caty’s gaze. I owe it to myself—and to our friendship—to at least hear him out.

Taking a deep breath, I typed out a response, choosing my words carefully, my heart racing as I hit send.

Sean

If you want to talk, you’d better have a damn good explanation for where you’ve been.

My phone buzzed almost immediately with Devon’s response. My heartbeat quickened as I read his message.

Devon

What if my explanation is embarrassing?

Sean

Embarrassing like you got kidnapped by clowns and joined the circus?

Devon

Is that how they’re recruiting these days?

Sean

Dev…

Devon:

Embarrassing like I lost my shit and lost the only family I had left. Even worse, I didn’t even realize it until someone said something about how you make your own family. You’re supposed to be my family, Sean.

My heart leaped into my throat, and I blinked back tears. Caty reached across the table and rubbed my hand. 

Sean

I’m listening.

Devon

I’m so sorry for disappearing on you like that. When my parents died...I couldn’t handle anything. I had to get away. I never meant to hurt you. My head was so messed up. I’ve regretted how I left things every day since.

I stared at the screen, a mix of emotions swirling inside me. Anger, hurt, confusion... but also a flicker of hope. Devon seemed sincere in his apology, but could I trust him after all this time?

Sean

I get that you were going through hell, but did you ever stop to think about how much I needed you? How much it hurt when you vanished? I thought our friendship meant more than that.

Devon

It did. It does. Sean, you’re the most important person in my life. I was too overwhelmed and broken to see it then. All I could see was your perfect family and your perfect life, and I thought I had nothing.

Sean

Why now? Why are you back?

Devon

Something happened. I think I need to tell you about it in person, but I took a transfer to the Greenwood Ranger District. I’m moving home. For you.

I could feel my resolve wavering. The Devon I knew, the one who had always been there for me, might reach out from the past. Could we really pick up where we left off? 

Sean

I don’t know, Dev. How do I know you won’t disappear again the moment things get tough?

Devon

I won’t. I swear. I was 19 then, and I’ve changed, Sean. 

I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I’m ready to be the friend you deserve. The friend I should have been all along. Give me a chance to prove it.

I chewed my lip, my heart racing as I read his words. A part of me wanted to believe him, to let him back into my life. The scars from his abandonment were still raw, even after all these years.

Sean

I don’t know if I’m ready to fully trust you again. But... I’m willing to try. Don’t make me regret it, okay?

Devon

You won’t. I promise. 

Sean

I should probably get back to work.

Devon

I saw you opened a bakery! That was an eye-opener for me, to realize that I wasn’t there for your grand opening like we always planned. 

Sean

Yeah. It’s doing well.

Devon

I know. I can’t wait to see it. 

Sean

You’ve been stalking me, but I know nothing about you.

Devon

I took a position with the US Forest Service, doing law enforcement. I’ve been all over, but in Montana right now.

Sean

Montana. So close, but not close. 

Devon

I started in North Carolina and I’ve been gradually working my way back west. I have to finish up some things here in Montana, and then I’m going to apply for an open position with the forest service in Ponderosa. 

Sean

Fuck. I can’t believe I’ll get to see you again.

Devon

Thank you for giving me another chance. I know I don’t deserve it.

Sean

Everyone deserves a second chance, Dev. Even you.

Devon

Shit, I want to keep chatting, but I have to go, and I’ll be out of pocket for a bit.

Sean

Promise me you’ll text me back as soon as you can.

Devon

I’ll move mountains to make sure I always reply to you. I’ll never leave you hanging again. 

Sean

For eight fucking years.

Devon

I’m a horrible person.

Sean

That remains to be seen. 

Devon, and the prospect of seeing him again after all these years. Would it be awkward? Or would conversation flow like it always had, easy and natural? Perhaps too much time passed, too much damage been done.

I shook my head, pushing the thoughts aside. Only time would tell. For now, all I could do was hope—hope that the Devon I once knew was still in there somewhere, and that together, we could find a way to move forward. Even if it meant taking things slow and rebuilding, brick by brick. Because that’s what you did for the people you loved—you never gave up on them, no matter how much they might have hurt you in the past.

And Devon? He was worth fighting for. He always had been.

Looking up, I caught my sister watching me, and stood and I hugged Caty tightly. Thanks for stopping by, sis, and for the pep talk. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

She squeezed me back before pulling away with a playful grin. Crash and burn, probably. That’s what I’m here for—to keep your dramatic ass in check.

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. Love you too, brat. Now get out of here before I put you to work.

Caty stuck her tongue out at me before flouncing towards the door, her braids swinging. Bye! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

That doesn’t leave much off limits! I called after her, shaking my head with a smile. 

Once she was gone, I grabbed my laptop and flipped it open, scanning the forest service website for any scrap of information about my long-lost best friend. As always, the results were frustratingly sparse, but this time I had somewhere to start. The US Forest Service. 

Devon Johansson, Law Enforcement Agent. The page wasn’t even about him, but a news article about some award he’d won for his service, alongside a grainy headshot that could’ve been taken years ago. Even from that, I could see that his face was harder now, more angular, but those piercing green eyes were impossible to mistake. I knew his face like I knew my own, and I had a feeling I’d recognize him even if it’d been fifty years instead of eight. 

I traced a finger over the screen, marveling at the changes that eight years had wrought. Gone was the baby-faced boy I’d known, replaced by a rugged, chiseled man who looked like he’d been carved from granite.

I shook my head sharply, banishing lustful thoughts before they could fully form. I couldn’t let myself go down that road, not again. Devon was my friend—my straight friend—and that was all he would ever be.

No matter how badly I might wish for something more.

With a sigh, I turned my attention back to the cupcakes I’d been frosting, losing myself in the soothing rhythms of piping and swirling. This, at least, was something I could control, something I could perfect.

two

Devon

Five weeks later.

I cut the engine on my truck and gazed at the tiny vacation cabin I’d rented on Larkspur Lake, my stomach churning. The cabin was cute and rustic, surrounded by massive ponderosa pines, and everything I’d pictured, but that wasn’t what I was worried about.

This was it. After six weeks of constant texting, after my recovery, after packing my things for the most important move of my life, I would finally see my best friend again. That empty part of me where he fit would be full again. My happy, sunshiny, wonderful friend would be back in my life.

But first, I had to convince him to forgive me for disappearing.

Swallowing, I closed my eyes, talking myself through my plan, which involved a lot of time spent reminding him of our happy times. Connecting with Sean was my first step towards putting down roots again—towards having a community, friends and neighbors and people I trusted. People I could borrow a goddamn circular saw from when I needed to do a home improvement project. Most of all, I’d have someone to talk to when things went to shit. And someone be my emergency contact.

Because it took a major medical emergency for my thick-headed stubborn self to realize just how few people I had in the world. 

Five weeks ago, the pain of Sean’s absence had resurfaced, and hit me like a bullet to the chest. The real bullet had hit lower, near my spleen, but that wasn’t a big deal. It was that space on the medical form, the one that asked for an emergency contact, that had hurt the most. Because I still didn’t have one of those. 

It wasn’t that I didn’t have friends, just that none of them were emergency contact material. So I’d left the space blank until the nurse had pointed it out. She’d pointed it out as if I’d missed it accidentally. When I’d told her my parents were dead, she patted my shoulder and said something so simple it should have been obvious. Sometimes, the only family we have is the one we make for ourselves, honey. 

When she’d spoken, something had clicked in my brain. That, or I was light-headed from blood loss and overly emotional. 

Whatever the cause, Sean’s face had popped into my mind, as clear as if he’d been right there; his big brown eyes and his wide, cheerful smile. 

The pain of not having him around had rushed back while I was sitting in that hospital bed. Those pieces of him that fit me so well had never felt more absent than in that moment. 

So, naturally, I’d texted him, because I had his number. I’d kept the conversation going until the surgeon was ready to rip the phone out of my hand, and then I’d lied to him and pretended I needed to go to work. We’d texted through my recovery, and as I tied up loose ends in Montana, and packed my things to come take a job with the Ponderosa Ranger District, right near town. Near him.

We’d met when we were in preschool, and when we should have grown apart, we hadn’t. When he’d come out as gay, I’d been by his side. When I’d tried out for the football team, he’d cheered me on—and eventually joined the cheer squad, naturally. Because that was Sean. 

When we were kids, everyone thought we were too different to make it as friends. I was six-foot-two and built like a linebacker. He was willowy and slender. He was popular and had tons of friends. I was too quiet for any kind of social ladder. Racist assholes occasionally asked me how the queer Black kid was more popular than me. I used to tell them Hollywood was wrong—white boy jocks weren’t the popular ones. But to me, it was obvious why he was well-liked. He was so much fun to be around, confident and kind, the one with all the heart. I was an introvert, slower to act, and more laid back. He always said we balanced each other.

Until I’d fucked it all up. 

I’d rented this cabin because it reminded me of the one we’d rented the summer after our senior year of high school, just a few months before my parents had died. 

This time, when I’d invited Sean, his response had been immediate, but it came with conditions.

The conditions were so far outside my comfort zone that I couldn’t fathom following through with them. I’d agreed, because what else was I going to do? I wanted him back, and I’d do anything to make it happen. 

Besides, the wording of Sean’s conditions intrigued that part of me that had always wondered if he wanted to fuck me. Now I knew that, at the very least, he thought about me naked. That or he was trying to mess with my goddamn head.

I supposed that was the crux of my nerves as I sat in my truck for way too long. A little bright orange Subaru with Oregon plates sat on the other side of the driveway, and I was sure it was Sean’s. He’d always loved color, and the sporty little WRX was just his style. 

With a shaky breath, I stepped out of my truck, brushing my hands off on my jeans as I turned towards the front walk. 

Devon! Sean must have been waiting and wondering what the hell I was doing, because he was standing on the front porch, just a few feet from where I’d parked. His voice was as familiar and deliciously warm as an old favorite blanket, and his obvious excitement set off a flurry of butterflies in my stomach. 

Meeting his eyes, I couldn’t contain the smile that slid across my face. Sean had always sparkled with a vibrant energy, and I could see from here that his energy hadn’t changed. If anything, he was more intense. 

Had he been standing on the porch watching my little freakout? I hoped not. 

Hey, Sean. Turning away from him, I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart, then reached for the duffel