Dancing on the edge I - Trapped Memory

By Joanna M. Pilatowicz

Stella has glimpses of being someone else. With her access to other dimensions, she encounters immortals.

While on Earth she assists fellow awakening witches - Oksana and Paola - in other worlds she discovers the thefts of mythical Lilith and Ea. What do the witches have to do with it? Who are they really and what connects them to the ancient ones?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Joanna M. Pilatowicz
• Release date: Apr 18, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224848737

Joanna M. Pilatowicz

Joanna M. Pilatowicz is an adult's coach, dancer, dance teacher, choreographer, author, abstract painter, and recording artist. She has lived in Poland, The Netherlands and currently resides in Germany.  Her master thesis, "Expansion Through Dance," explored the concept of using dance as a healing media, positively influencing not only body, but mind and soul as well.  Life in the Netherlands inspired her to write her first short stories, in Polish language, hiding some of observed reality behind the veil of fantasy. As she says, "Passing the borders of reality, I would say I am entering the world of fantasy, dreamland, and paranormal; however it is all still connected to everyday life." "I was always drawn by what's invisible to a human eye. At the same time, probably from a desire to understand my own Self and motives more, I started to write diaries which unfolded in an unexpected way. So I just followed it." "The supernatural creatures in my books and paranormal aspects present there are my own ways of expressing my reality, linking non - fiction with a feeling world as well as adding some sort of higher force to it." "It is my own metaphor for different roles from our so-called subpersonalities that perhaps want to share their story with us, in order for us to grow, explore, experience or have a more fulfilling life. I do my best to follow these inner voices, giving them space and grabbing their message." For more information about Joanna and her passions, please visit: www.ifnotdance.com

Book preview

Born without a spark,

had to claim it back.

It took a long time

to collect what’s mine.

Lost case

lost face,

in the mist

spread into dust.

The worse is to not remember who you are ...

***

I know that look. Ea touched Lilit’s face noticing a peculiar sign, a desire within her was born.

I’m going to fly around. She turned away, spread her wings, and soon was up there, far away from their home, their cozy hut in the forest, somewhere there in the universe, beyond time and space.

Lilith didn’t answer herself what she really wanted. Following the urge was the only impulse she responded to. What if she would go further this time? What if she would change their dimension? After all, just watching the world’s events from the safety of this universe they created, wasn’t enough fun. It was once but not anymore ... Visits of their friends, The Dragon with Philosopher were these days rare. Everyone left for a new adventure, just not her ...

The sign of a portal in the sky was too attractive to ignore it. She directed herself straight into it ...  Darkness she found herself in was calm. Nothingness was soothing ... She could just close her eyes, do nothing and let the events envelop ... Lost in peace for a while, she didn’t predict ...

The silver chains hit her body, causing her face to grimace in pain. A glimpse of history rolled in front of her mind when Little Lilith was caught this way into a trap.

Don’t let her look at you ... She heard and then the darkness covered her eyes ... But she heard ... She was taken ...

Chapter 1 ~ Sentenced to life between worlds

Velvet starry wings were no longer protecting her. Captured and held by two similar creatures, with gold wings, she heard voices before she was thrown into nothingness. 

You are sentenced ... to life on ...

A liquid, she barely noticed was now slowly filling her veins .... Twisted in pain, she understood it was poisoning her, her essence ... She was dissolving into ...

The morning light filled the room. The woman’s eyes opened up first, then came a shy realization, more a feeling, she wasn’t in the right place. Immigrant? That description always stuck with her.

Getting up was an effort but a few steps later, she encountered the mirror. Her hands started to shake as the memories, or rather the glimpses started to flow sluggishly. It was as if she was remembering something but then it all disappeared.

There was a room and apparently, her desk, pen, and journal were filled with her writing. Wanting to remember, she sat down to it, ready to write but the images in her head made her only touch her forehead.

What’s happening to me? The written question remained with no answer. As Sherlock Holmes, she tried to gain a portion of information about Self. I have a peculiar impression I lost parts of myself. Who even am I? Except for a name – Stella, where am I really coming from?

The recollection of events was coming back to her. She moved in here yesterday. She broke up with a man who at least brought her to her newly rented room. A sign Welcome in Mannheim wasn’t providing any comfort and she didn’t want to be there ...

It was a warm June evening when she got out of the car. Her suitcase and a few boxes were carried to the fifth floor of a street L located nearby the station. A sense of blame accompanied her while going back and forth with the heavy loads of her own stuff. The apartment was spacious and she occupied one of the five rooms, shortly shaking hands with other locators, Herbert in his late fifties, and Jefferson in his early thirties. She unpacked and went to sleep.

There were no birds singing in the morning. Instead, there was only the noise of the city. Her body felt heavy and didn’t want to move. She looked outside the window and grimaced seeing so close to another building across the street.

Apparently, she organized a lot, so now she just signed a copy of her contract with a nearby academy, where she will teach stress management. She was someone ... She was a dance teacher, therapist, and spiritual healer for those who dared to find her. Everything seemed to be normal, except for a strong feeling, things were off and wrong but there was no trace of it. Everything looked fine, she just had to start a new life, new immigration, and now settle in another country – Germany. She tried to push through the fear and started to create her dance class. Music and movement helped to shake off any invisible discomfort. She now, could recreate herself, be anything ... Even have a different name. But who was she?

The knocking in her room, made her turn her head toward the door: Yes?

Would you like to go out for a dinner with me? Herbert stood in the doorway and something in his posture was clear he wanted to date.

I’m afraid I have too much work to do but since I got this job in the academy in German, perhaps you can help me with preparation in German?

Oh, good for you, a disappointed tone of a voice let her know, he will refuse. Maybe later. He left as if he was never there but she still marked something about him, a certain coldness hanging in the air.

I could. Jefferey happened to pass by the corridor, overhearing her question.

Great. Thank you.

They walked into a spacious kitchen, sat down and Herbert now joined them. It didn’t miss her attention that Jefferey, a tall handsome man, somehow shrank in his chair.

The ringing phone made Herbert to pick up, leave the kitchen, then the apartment, following his emergency.

Jeffrey bent over the table a bit more as if scared that Herbert may still hear them.

I feel something weird about the owner.

Aggression, tiredness, hiding something?

Exactly. How do you know? He kept whispering.

It’s like you don’t care but you are pulled into an affair. I have no interest in dating him, yet I feel his frustration.

But why me? I am barely a month here and I am a man.

You happened to rent a room and occupy the same space. Stella smiled.

Did you talk to him?

I suspect it would be like talking to the pavement.

I really don’t understand this. The confusion on his face made her smile.

What is your approach to psychology, energies, fields of energy?

I guess I am interested, but I have no idea if that is the truth.

And yet you do pick up feelings very well. What else do you feel?

Like I want to revenge on him for showing me that he is a great man and I am less, ‘cause I am not a man yet.

Oh! If someone has a strong personality, he usually pulls others into his theater, and just like in the play, all roles must be occupied. She didn’t explain more than that.

What’s the solution? I can’t move out. I have no money.

Yeah, that is something to figure out. Money is the main problem of this planet.

Do you have a temporary solution?

Leave the apartment as often as you can. We are all connected. If you are better, we all are better.

There is still something ... Did you sense this coldness around him?

There is probably only one kind of a creature feeling like that. She hesitated.

What? A vampire? He chuckled. Good they don’t exist.

She waved her hand in the air but it wasn’t her palm that he noticed:

What did you do? I feel so vital now. I would do something.

Go ahead! Have a fun day. She closed her notebook.

Oh, I forgot to tell you ... He was already moving toward the doorway. Herbert told me you should go to the office to organize yourself an insurance number.

Why he didn’t tell me that personally and somewhat earlier?

I don’t know. He opened the door and encountered Herbert getting back in.

You both have to know about certain rules here. It’s the cheap and convenient place ... He raised his finger up like a professor ready to educate his pupils.

What is that tone of voice? She started to imitate him. It was enough to repeat his own sentences.

I mean, I wanted to ask ... He wasn’t sure anymore, apologized, letting Jeff go.

Stella walked to her room. Her gaze was drawn to her own bookshelf filled with books. She grabbed The five rhythms by Gabrielle Roth ...

Time passed by quickly and the approaching darkness, made her realize it was time ... She changed her clothes, put on some make-up, and left the room ...

Where are you going? Jeff came out of the kitchen.

Salsa party. Are you coming?

Oh, it’s tempting, but ... I actually don’t go out for parties. He realized. I need to rethink this.

Sure. There is a cake, I got today.

I won’t eat any cake. Herbert showed up as if out of nowhere, overhearing the word: cake. Then he continued straight to the kitchen and cut himself a full portion of it.

Can I try too? Jeff followed and Stella’s lips slightly rose up.

I guess the rest is for you.

Are you going to a salsa party tonight? Herbert asked consuming one bite after another and when she confirmed by nodding, he said. You look tired.

You look fine. Jeff protested while getting ready to leave with her. She left.

Nearby club, Zapatto was filled with dancing people when she entered it. The sound of Latin music, especially salsa made her body respond. A pleasant chill went down her spine.  

You look so good, you have beautiful eyes. She didn’t wait long for her first dance.

Three hours passed on floating through the dance floor, changing random partners. She had no idea her eyes shimmered with sparks and a sense of aliveness made her want to keep that feeling she knew she had once ... The club was filled with different vibes, some people were here to pick up their date, not interested in dance.

Why are you going away from me? Are you scared of me? A handsome stranger was like others, who were always revealing something about them. She didn’t bother to converse, busy moving.

You are so aggressive while dancing, vibrant and forward. I like it so much! The next one expressed his enthusiasm but another one asked: You wanna dance or fight? 

Another stranger was kind, so she taught him the basic steps.

Small people with small problems while there are wars, in the galaxy, and the direction of the Earth is not safe. It crossed Stella’s mind but she didn’t have time to think, why that thought.

Such a woman like you has no problem with finding a dance partner. A stranger stopped her inner observations, asking her to dance ...

Two in the morning was the right time to leave, breathing the sense of freedom and expansion in her body ...

The night was bright, lightened by the moonlight. A sensation of levitating was starting to take her over. The street had no more strict borders as if showing up a portal to an astral plane. She entered a different world and noticed a little girl, who asked for a balloon, but her mom didn’t give her.

Why don’t you share with the daughter? You have three. Stella landed in front of the woman.

It’s not allowed, the mother said.

Come with me, little girl, here are balloons you can choose from. She took the girl’s hand, and watched her smile but then someone pulled her arm.

Where are you? There is a war. You got sentenced and disappeared. You must come back ... The man, she sensed she knew from somewhere, disappeared ...

She kept walking, then noticed a little girl–an apparent witch–had a problem with putting her hat right.

No, not like that. Then nobody would know you are a witch. Stella started to instruct her. You take your hat off too delicate. Take it out, brush it like that and make a mysterious face, then throw unseen into the air. Then nobody will have doubt who you are.

But these people there, don’t like us. They are not happy, we are coming forward with our skills. The girl’s face looked concerned.

I sense that, but we know exactly what to do and we don’t care if someone judges us. Such shady creatures will always be there to talk bad or do wrong. Just do your job. Stella’s confident voice didn’t show her own confusion. She hesitated only internally, waving in her head if she shall ask the girl. The girl knew who Stella was. Stella didn’t.

What? The girl received a glimpse of that telepathic message. It happened to you too? Don’t you remember, do you?

I don’t recall, Stella did her best to sound as if she was talking about the weather.

That’s what I am talking about. I came to you, to teach me. Those creatures do us wrong! There was a mark of anger painted on the little face. You always were and ever be and ... The girl started to cry. Stella brought her face closer and their eyes met. A new idea formed, and Stella expressed it.

There we go, it’s obvious to you, who I am but when you dig deeper you actually don’t know! Ha! Someone put memories, temporary memories in your head!

You are ... Aren’t we all witches, put on this plane to save it?

I am not sure. Sounds suspicious. Why would I save anyone and from what?

You were just teaching me ... Why?

That’s the thing, I don’t know. I don’t recall.

You are a ... good witch? Now the girl wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

I am definitely no good. Good people usually suffer a lot.

You’re not bad either. She shrugged her shoulders.

What does it mean to be good or bad? It’s very limiting, pushing us into one-side-ness. Anyway, what’s your name? Stella’s question made the girl open her mouth more ... For both of them things were not as obvious as they thought they are ...

A sudden whirl pulled the girl, and Stella grabbed her hand, holding tight but the wind made them lose each other ...

*** Herbert’ loneliness, Machau’s African enthusiasm ***

May I accompany you? Herbert came out of his room seeing Stella ready to leave. She hesitated, looked at her watch to make sure she would catch a train to Heidelberg.

I have an hour still. She grabbed her bag and didn’t have to wait for him. Jeffrey passed her in the corridor and whispered:

He is actually a really good person. He invited me for lunch today.

Stella raised her eyebrow.

Ready? Herbert opened up the door for her.

A short walk through the city made her focus on what he was communicating.

It’s so hard to find a proper partner. I’m so lonely. His words didn’t match his tone, a bit angry. You were at the party yesterday. I would like to have fun too.

Well, you have it almost every day. I was dancing a bit.

Let’s have dinner here. He proposed, they sat down and he ordered. I shouldn’t eat actually. He still said, preparing his pipe to smoke.

You shouldn’t indeed. You are so fat. She chuckled looking at his posture, far from fat, rather well built, strong, making him a handsome man.

His tone softened now when he repeated how lonely he was. Coldness and distance made her say goodbye soon anyway, yet she touched his arm, sensing his suffering was real.

As soon as she will organize herself here, she will figure out how to get her own apartment, she thought while walking toward the station.

She was punctual in the Heidelberg dance school where she previously met the owner, who offered Stella a teaching job. Now, recommended to meet an African dance teacher, she patiently was sitting in the corridor, waiting with others for Machau.

He eventually showed up. Thirty women were eager to dance and Stella’s corners of her mouth slightly rose, amused by the charming way he was leading his group. It was obvious they were coming for him.

Common! Do it! He was running around with his drums, playing, dancing at the same time, and making African exclamations to raise the vibe of feeling well. His demanding voice made the women work harder.

Let’s have coffee, he invited Stella right after class, and downstairs, near the school there was a Rosi Cafe. You’re new here. Tell me all about your artistic goals. His enthusiasm was infectious.

I’m open for whatever best comes my way. Her diplomatic answer made him say more ...

Maybe I can help. My life philosophy sounds like this: if you can do something for somebody, do it. I’m the lucky one. I got cancer five years ago and I was never more alive. I am writing my post-diploma about movement ... They sat down and ordered drinks. I’m from Kongo, a beautiful land. His eyes were sparking with something that triggered her memory but she quickly forgot what it was ... Once, I was lost in a foreign country but a taxi driver invited me home to his family so I had a roof under the night. Life is great. Cheers ...

*** Stella’s teaching, Herbert wants a pet, and a walk between dimensions  ***

On Monday morning, twenty bored eyes were looking at Stella, who entered the classroom. These young adults finished primary school, having now to choose the basic profession to survive in this world. They were not intending to follow her movements. Resistance was prevailing. German words didn’t want to flow like the English ones when she was teaching about stress management, advised by the staff to be very directive here.

Silence, please. Are you able to concentrate for a full minute? Let’s test it. The basic exercise made them lose focus within seconds. They eventually got quiet and absorbed one minute of silence ...

How did you feel? She asked them at the end of the class.

I am more awake now than I was before as if I am lighter.

I am better in my mind, kind of content, almost happy. They started to talk to one another. Stella’s lip rose subtly in an almost invisible half smile.

What are your goals and expectations from this school? Why are you here? Stella raised the question seeing they are now more talkative.

The next day her students were late, gathering from eight in the morning through the next two hours. Any effort was impossible for them. Resistance and passive aggression were filling the air as if she was the one who forced them to come here. She handed them the prepared program not addressing the elephant in the room.

Sit with your spine straight. Stella noticed the group didn’t like the morning mediation and she had to silence them every now and then. Whatever movement she showed them, they were proving to her, it was unmovable. She always suggested new twice, and if they didn’t respond, she let it go. Tired, she had no willpower to create more for them, so last minute she ordered them to write about what they have learned. She left with relief. Stress management classes were actually stressing her. She looked forward to her last class before the summer. She just had to give them marks ...

Before leaving for another school, this time dance school, she handed her letters from students to Herbert and Jeffrey who were Germans.

My beloved God, children write better. Herbert touched his forehead in disbelief.

Sure, with your dominance, my class would go better. I am leaving to take Machau class, I need to rest before teaching adults modern jazz. However, teaching these morons here in the academy, four times a week for several hours a day is exhausting, you both have a good evening ...

Wait, we wanted to talk to you about getting a pet in this household. What do you think? Herbert turned to her.

Like a cat? She sat down watching the faces of both of her roommates.

I was thinking about dogs more, Jeff said.

I thought a bird, a parrot would do. Herbert gazed at Jeff.

Oh. Then we obviously have different ideas. Stella was ready to go.

Or maybe we should give an advert about an additional person in the household, Herbert suggested.

You want somebody to rent a room or do you plan to adopt somebody as a pet? She got up finally, not wanting to give in to this weird, according to her, discussion.

A person would be more beneficial than a pet, indeed. Herbert looked around seeking his pipe.

She left them to it ... An hour later, she arrived to dance first, and then to adults to dance ... Teaching the adults was usually offering a sense of contentment. There’s nothing better than students, who actually want to learn, she marked while leaving the dance school late evening. She now planned to go back to her solitude and concentrate on her life which apparently wasn’t working well. She didn’t know anyone similar to her, who would live in between dimensions. None of the people were seeing what she kept watching every day or night. Vision or a dream, it looked all the same, real enough. However, every time she tried to concentrate during the daytime, someone was calling or interrupting her. She needed silence to focus to find her way out of this ... She couldn’t precise what exactly it was. She only had the impression she didn’t belong here. She needed to look at the energy to notice a pattern.

She arrived in Mannheim and slowly paced along the lightened-up street when a young man asked her a question ... It took her a moment to decide if he was from this world. He wasn’t ...

Let me show you something more interesting. She started to teach him, and created out of her hand an Ankh cross, mentally raised it, divided it, and directed it to the four corners of a dark space around them. She could also divide the metal into two and now smiled seeing his face bathed in admiration for her skills.

I don’t like your interest in my brother, Jeff’s sister suddenly entered the astral space and  Stella realized, he had siblings, but now she warded off that vision. She changed her mind and instead of going home, redirected her steps for a late-night show at the cinema ...

Everlasting war of goodness with evil apparently was present everywhere in the universe, also in motion pictures. Stella was entertained by watching a psychological aspect of how humans are programmed to act, destroy, or build. It’s impossible to live on Earth and be a pacifist. There are needed people who will protect others. And such a fight never ends. Only battles are temporarily won, giving an illusion of victory. The more one side is fighting, the more the other side has to keep up. Never-ending game in the universe, she kept reflecting while leaving a building. An argument between a couple drew her attention. They were real, she decided, then she had one more thing to judge: were they ready?

Do you want a reading, she happened to have a Tarot set in her bag.

Yes, please! The woman was more eager for that.

Sit here and mix the cards ... Stella handed her the set while they all sat down by the table in the theater. The core of the problem looks like this ... She started reading what was so easily coming to her as if flowing through her. They both thanked her before leaving in somewhat a hopeful state of mind and Stella smiled wondering if they even knew what really happened ... She paced now back home but the reality blurred ... Her steps leading through the park were now suddenly like sinking into dark, cold water ...

She grasped for breath watching a scene ...

A plane crashed into the ocean. How passengers will leave that machine? Opening doors was an opening it to the sea. Not opening it, meant sinking. What about sharks? Were they even able to swim out? And what about the panic that can cause you to make mistakes and instead of swimming up, you are swimming down? And the coldness of the water? She felt all of that, feeling pain, and a fear of dying. With an effort, she spread her hands manipulating the water to push the plane out ...

When Stella opened up her eyes, she was sitting on the bench having no effort or will to get up. She closed her eyes again ...

She was signed up for the school and participated in the first lecture. The professor was charming and polite, yet she knew he was a murderer. He gave people homework: what is the difference between a biological weapon and a technological one? He was shaking hands of all people there and she was first. He squeezed her hand only halfway.

Stella’s eyes were still close, lost in another vision ...

She was living on the island, but the approaching catastrophe made people evacuate. Not everybody believed that within hours the ocean will take everything. People were running. There was a man named Alex, who was helping her. Stella had a family and her grandma was waiting for her, although they got lost underground in a passage. Behind them, and in front of them, were waves. The last thought she had was that some people weren’t even aware that they will die.

Feeling cold, she got up from the bench and walked home, having enough of these adventures and no more energy to find out more about herself. She entered the apartment and walked toward the balcony to have a look at the stars. There was Jeff there standing.

You are irritated.

Yeah, I am. At you. Jeff now looked at her.

Oh, that’s new. She pretended she was surprised.

The way you are cutting bread in the kitchen is really annoying.  

Oh, so that’s why you didn’t talk to me for a few hours earlier. She recalled.

I don’t talk, because I don’t feel like talking. His voice was raised.

Whatever, man. She left to her room, sensing now, Jeff wanted to apologize ...

She tried to focus the last time and saw a blue light that was calming her down. Curious about what it was, she tried to intensify the image. A sense of missing something became overwhelming, but only for a moment, as the calming color was present. It’s just she couldn’t see a source of it.

Remember who you are. Someone whispered.

I’m on Earth now. There is nothing I can do for you. Her mind sent the message but she didn’t know to whom or why she even said it. She now was pulled into a whirl ...

Lilit, wake up! The same female voice sounded familiar, so the face of a woman. Stella found herself chained. She could feel her back pulsating, so she turned slightly but the chamber was too dark.

Don’t move, your wings are tightened by their spell or something ... I’m Jasmin, remember?

I’m Stella.

That’s too but you’re Lilit! Jasmin resigned seeing a mark of forgetfulness on her face. I found you with Akasha, I opened up the portal and here I am ... Jasmin again noticed Lilit had no idea who Akasha was. This is your real body, Stella is your avatar.

Here, a tear from Sarah’s dreams ... Jasmin opened up a small bottle and poured some drops into Lilit’s mouth.

Jasmin?

Finally, you start to remember something, right? We switched times, I mean I am more here now. Well, not here but in Akasha’s library. Anyway, it’s too complicated. For now, you must know your choices there are not quite yours.

This is really a bad dream, Lilit – Stella moved to free herself but each movement was causing only pain. Silver ropes she was tightened with were causing additional burns with every attempt of releasing from them.

Don’t move. Focus. Your own race, I mean Ea’s finally caught you.

Ea? That word sounded so familiar.

Focus, we don’t have much time, Jasmin already saw signs Lilit will lose consciousness to recover in Earthly reality. It was happening so many times to Jasmin, she knew exactly what will happen. I’m here to help ... Jasmin got quiet. There was nothing more to say. Lilit lost consciousness. Sleeping here, she was waking up there ...

*** Meeting Oksana by Taleb, a local shaman ***

Her cosmetics, felt so familiar while she was busy with her makeup. Stella put a rock that was uncovering more than hiding, ready to go out.

You have such a positive aura today, and you look lovely. Herbert met her in the corridor. And I am going to party today. His words sounded to her as a mixture of jealousy he felt but wanted to provoke in her ... She left.

Walking down the street and sensing energy, was her thing. She needed another seer to find out more. Why she cannot see for herself more, she wondered, pacing slowly, recognizing chaotic energies around, not allowing them to rush her. She considered herself a perfect traveler between the worlds but wondered why she had only glimpses of her own memories. Was the information blocked? A random talk with the owner of the restaurant, made him blush.

She then continued and entered the office of an alternative medicine practitioner. A man Taleb was called by some a local shaman. Stella sat down in an empty waiting room and overheard raised voices coming from inside.

What are you saying?! That I am not any good to help anybody? The doors opened and the woman came out.

Oh, gods!

You - not saying anything talks volumes! You don’t think positively about me! She turned to him.

You take everything personally. He opened his hands.

How should I take it?!

I’m just saying you have no practice. You have to do that daily. It’s clear from your birth chart that you won’t be the next Madonna. Business won’t be strong with you compared to people who have that in the horoscope. You can still do it, but it will be poor or with obstacles.

So I should stop doing anything? Since nothing will work.

Oksana, you shouldn’t give up. If you work on something, eventually it has to work somehow. Taleb, a man with glasses and gray hair walked toward the hall.

So I have to be like that donkey and keep pushing forward, stubbornly toward the goal, I cannot achieve?

These things are taking years. Look at others. It took them years of rituals ... He breathed heavier.

I am not like others. I don’t even pray daily. I have no time for it, I have to act.

Your Pluton sits on Venus, so what kind of relationship you are expecting other than violent? Your Neptun is in water-man now in opposition to Saturn, go head, interpret yourself what that means! He lost his patience. Then you have a square of Saturn to Mercury, Venus, and Neptun in the sixth house responsible for the job, plus Moon in Virgo. That gives lots of blockages to whatever you try to do. And that is not the end, you have the opposition of Pluto to Jupiter, obviously, that means problems with health and family.

So what shall I do? Hang myself? She stood in a half step then heavily sat down on the chair near Stella.

Only prayer can save you, good luck. He turned to Stella. Just a second please. He left to the toilet.

Oksana closed her eyes but then her ringing phone called for her attention.

Hans? You’re back?

Of course! And I am inviting you for a dinner with a sightseeing of the castle in Lorsch and then to the impressive gardens of Schwetzingen, stylized to remind different cultures ... He was on the loudspeaker.

That’s great, Oksana talked through tears. I need a lot of wine. Hans, I dreamed about my mom offering me a job on the Polish-German border at the seaside. She was so convincing that I could manage that Institute ...

We will talk when I pick you up. I am almost there. At that moment a handsome man entered the office.

Hans. Oksana got up to look for her coat. So terrible we should separate.

Yep, so sad. He charmingly held the doors for her, while she was tightening still her shoes. I was raised like that. My parents always had good food and drinks, wines, and beers. It’s a family tradition to have that. And my life plan is like that as well: to eat, drink wine, have sex, party, and the good-looking women. With nice, I can cope only a certain period of time if they are not good looking. Then I have to run away. No, I don’t. I am too polite. A woman must be slender, nice face, beautiful eyes, and a nice ass. And it has to click. The chemistry must be there too. He turned to Stella, blinking his eye at her as if he was flirting.

You know we don’t fit, right? You wouldn’t be happy with me too. You’re much older than me. Oksana was almost dressed to go out into the cold weather.

Alright, if you don’t want to be with me, then I will find somebody else. He said it in a light tone.

I am addicted, and in your presence, all I want is to dine and wine. She walked out through the door, while he politely said goodbye to the only visitor in the office, Stella. She nodded him back, making her own observations. The man obviously was working in one of these international companies, having lots of money for his pleasures ...

Please ... Taleb invited her in ... It took him several seconds to mark: You’re different. I cannot really locate you ... Strange ...

Yes, it is ... Let me help you, she closed her eyes ...

Even if he won’t see anything, she marked, it was nice to be in a presence of someone, who understands ...

*** Stella between teaching others,  Herbert, and relief in salsa ***

Stella arrived in Heidelberg punctually to teach ballet. Celine was one of the students. Her continuous smile was grabbing Stella’s attention. She had another class of modern dance to teach, but in between, there was an African lesson with Machau. She recognized the girl who she met once ... Oksana.

Oksana had to do something different and she found African dance classes nearby. Seeing Stella there, she stood in a line more encouraged, following the movements of the handsome Machau.

It was so therapeutic for me. Where is he getting all that energy from? She asked Stella after the class.

No idea. And he is still on chemotherapy.

And he jumps like that?

You are both new. Machau approached them, holding the hand of another participant. Oksana, meet Ella ... He introduced them and all four of them sat down to talk.

Girls, I will tell you something. Sickness comes from stress. There is no positive stress, as some claim. I was performing all over the world. New York, Paris, and I thought it was great that one week I am here, the next somewhere else. But that is stress. And look what happened to me.

Stella stayed quiet seeing and sensing