Dancing on the edge II - Missing Spark

By Joanna M. Pilatowicz

Will the gift of love overcome the longing in Stella's life? Marco appears on her way... Strange work in various dimensions of reality is no longer enough for Stella... Will she continue to assist Oksana - as the ancient vampire LilitH? Will she still accompany the painter Paola - the mythical Nephthys? What messages do the Immortals have for them this time?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Joanna M. Pilatowicz
• Release date: Apr 24, 2024
• ISBN: 9798223302759

Joanna M. Pilatowicz

Joanna M. Pilatowicz is an adult's coach, dancer, dance teacher, choreographer, author, abstract painter, and recording artist. She has lived in Poland, The Netherlands and currently resides in Germany.  Her master thesis, "Expansion Through Dance," explored the concept of using dance as a healing media, positively influencing not only body, but mind and soul as well.  Life in the Netherlands inspired her to write her first short stories, in Polish language, hiding some of observed reality behind the veil of fantasy. As she says, "Passing the borders of reality, I would say I am entering the world of fantasy, dreamland, and paranormal; however it is all still connected to everyday life." "I was always drawn by what's invisible to a human eye. At the same time, probably from a desire to understand my own Self and motives more, I started to write diaries which unfolded in an unexpected way. So I just followed it." "The supernatural creatures in my books and paranormal aspects present there are my own ways of expressing my reality, linking non - fiction with a feeling world as well as adding some sort of higher force to it." "It is my own metaphor for different roles from our so-called subpersonalities that perhaps want to share their story with us, in order for us to grow, explore, experience or have a more fulfilling life. I do my best to follow these inner voices, giving them space and grabbing their message." For more information about Joanna and her passions, please visit: www.ifnotdance.com

Book preview

Welcome, dear Traveler through time, space, and dimensions,

I entrust in your hands and eyes a story that I hope will inspire you in your unique way. Choose what resonates with you, and let go of other parts. If you like, let me know about your thoughts, reflections, and impressions. I do my best to read all comments on social media, and reviews under my books.

Sincerely, with sunny greetings,

Joanna Pilatowicz

INSTEAD OF PROLOGUE:

I am not looking for validation. Take it or leave it. This is my story. Let it serve you well if that’s your intention. If you are here to maintain your energy and learn, read.

If you’re here to judge, save your energy. You will need it, as apparently you’re wasting it all around. The highest stupidity is to have the precious gift of life and disperse it, wasting it by giving your attention to people, and events, you should not.

Learn from those immortal, they remember ... while you’re covered in earthly amnesia, a virus spread on Earth.

Yours, Stella

Chapter 1 ~  The missing spark got awakened

*** Marco ***

Adark-skin man put on his favorite hat and adjusted it for the last time in front of the mirror. Everything fitted so well: the spark of joy in his eyes, underlined by his smile, and the reflection of a green earring, a little stone glass, placed always on his left ear. Girls loved it but most importantly he felt good about himself. He approved the look of his shiny style and turned to leave the hotel room ...

Tonight will be a good night, he thought while driving to the club he inquired people about. New place, a new contract, and lots of work but this was the job he loved. Late night though, it was his magical time and his salsa.

Salsa time. Ola ... He exclaimed to himself while listening to the music in the car and his body jumped letting him know it was ready to dance.

The club was crowded. Marco approached the bar, ordered the juice, and stood there for a while observing the people, sensing the atmosphere. Then, ready to dance, he pulled a girl to the dance floor. Busy dancing, changing partners, he barely talked to people, bored hearing the same questions: What’s your name? Where are you from? Dance and go, he wanted to answer them each time. This was, however, impossible.  As soon as he danced with someone, he drew attention and praise to himself. Soon, every lady wanted to dance with him. It was always like that. Although he was a confident professional dancer, no man was immune to a compliment. On the dance floor, he was becoming a shining star, giving an impression of an extrovert artist ...

He now approached a woman, looking sort of mysterious, he reached his hand to her ...

Stella got pulled to the dance floor. Today, she hoped to dance more than ever. Her imagination showed her the desired picture of how she moves with the best partner ever ... But now someone was already there. His gesture was an invitation and the pull of his hand let her know there was something different in this man.

Bliss, she thought when she looked into his dark eyes, having an impression that the moment they started to dance, they create more of the glowing light of joy together. She couldn’t help but smile and he responded. The more they moved, the more she enjoyed this experience, her mind marked as confidence, appreciation, and something secure. I could do anything with this man, a thought passed her mind in the middle of the turn, then the twist, repeated one after another. His leading style was strong, challenging her to generate more energy in her dance. His dynamic moves complimented her style, adding more aliveness to it. Something within her naturally strengthened the feeling of thankfulness, turning into a sensation of expanding dignity. Used to that experience in everyday practice, she had that now here, on the dance floor.

A quick realization filled Marco’s eyes. This lady was shining some sort of vibe not present in others. He wanted to dance more with her, although he saw he could teach her as her salsa wasn’t that professional for him. But she was naturally picking up the steps and figures as if she learned immediately.

Stella realized all people were watching them now. He was definitely making her look and dance better. She knew she wanted to learn more from him. The bliss present in her strengthened. It was healing, she marked to herself as if he was encouraging the best in her to bring into the world. Feeling drawn to him, it was hard to let him go to the same woman she saw him dancing with before, but now ... everyone wanted to dance with Stella. She had no idea how hours passed in a few moments of salsa. There were also people from the ex-pat community and Dirk, whom she remembered from one of the international events. He now asked her to show him the steps, which she did. But then she was asked again by this extraordinary partner to dance. Inspired, she left the club in the middle of the night, to create – paint not only in her imagination - more of what wanted to happen ...

And she never knew what wanted to happen but she was following the feeling, which was always enough ... A pull, she could recognize, made her turn. She was in Akasha’s library, just like that as if she would walk the street straight into a portal.

I envy you, Akasha pointed her to a comfortable chair, inviting her to watch further parts of the immortals’ story.

I feel like ... Stella couldn’t locate her blissful feeling, not quite yet. You will get yours, no worries but ...

Yes? Akasha looked at her with hope.

I just realized! She got up exclaiming! Make your own story. I am out! Paola is good. Oksana ... well she will manage and what about ... Finally! She was walking as if she discovered the laws of the universe just now .... What are you waiting for Akasha? How many centuries you are waiting?

Well ... Akasha looked down. Not centuries. To be precised ... millenniums ...

Holy shit! Humans would die already hundreds of times! I guess we all are not so different, and I was complaining humans evolve so slowly.

It’s different here. The progress in this dimension is not exactly how you think about it on Earth.

I am out! Stella approached her and touched her arms. And you should too! Don’t you get it? It’s a web of being pulled and involved into ... She was looking for the right word. Distractions! Congrats to the designer of that!

What about responsibility?

That’s how they get you. Well, they ... I don’t know exactly who. The mastery of it is to be hidden, so none of us can point back! So smart! Why I never thought about it.

Kind of hard with no memories.

Right, she walked again around, it obviously helped the thinking. I met someone and it gave me THAT feeling!

I saw it.

There is no reason why you shouldn’t get it too, just extra to what you really want, Stella didn’t quite figure out what kind of experience Akasha wanted on Earth anyway. From now on, I can help only if I have extra means, time, and energy. I am out and I release the bond with girls! They will be so fine! They have powers! Think about it! She hugged her before she left the same way she came here ...

Don’t you want to watch with me?

I don’t care! I want ... something else! She hesitated only for a bit, and took a jump into a portal ... to wake up ...

***  Carl and the Polish event, Latif’s drunk call ***

The middle of October was still warm enough to take a walk with Carl. His attempt to stay away from Oksana didn’t work out.

My bag from India broke. He complained, so she took her box and handed him the needle with a thread.   Which color do you prefer?

I should do it? I thought women do it.

She could tell, he won’t be able to do it, so she took over and started to sue the pieces back together.

You look so good. He noticed.

Thank you. Wanna join me at the meeting about Poland and learn a bit of history about communism?

He nodded, and soon they were looking for the right street, entering the crowd of Polish people, and establishing Polish-German relations, therefore everything was translated into German. Oksana listened patiently and when Carl turned to her, his eyes were filled with tears.

This is so tragic. His dramatic facial expression made her smile. Why are you smiling?

I feel good and there is no need to sink again into that particular past. I did enough. Now it’s time to share that story, which we all do and I am happy to see it has an impact.

Carl was charmed by Polish art and songs that sounded to Oksana too dramatic, so she wanted to leave as soon as possible. She had enough of tragedy, whether cultural or her own as she unfortunately was encountering it in every corner of her life.

Alright, I need some time for myself. Oksana sensed Carl would like to be invited back to her home, so she made sure he would go home.

After all, she wanted to create ... but then Latif called ...

I told you not to call me after drinking, she asked him again, hearing him too happy to be sober. What your guru was saying about alcohol and cigarettes?

That it damages the energy.

Exactly. You are also influencing me as you know I am feeling these things.

I love you.

This phone call made her reach for that forbidden bottle ... But he called again later. Now she was drunk, hiding it as much as she could.

All moments with you are great. I want to have kids with you with your eyes and smile. At least two.

No kids. You are a kid yourself.

Do you think I am immature?

You are growing. She said diplomatically.

Marry me.

Tell me how these marriages work in India.

It depends if the couple is arranged or is it from love. If it is arranged then parents are organizing ceremonies for fifteen days. Every day is for a different ritual.

I understand these are prayers to have a lot of children.

Exactly! See? That is why we have such a huge population. He burst into laughter.

Aha, with no responsibility for it. Just like Africans. Moroccans are the same ...

You forgot about Chinese.

Are you all competing with one another or what? It’s like a mass production of kids.

You are so funny, I love you.

She let him go, wanting to sleep but the dream wasn’t allowing her to rest. Her shaman friend was thinking badly about her but didn’t dare to tell her that. He easily was gossiping about her to somebody else, whom she knew from the past.

She called him when she woke up, wanting to find out. And indeed he excused himself, saying he had no time. Did she dream the truth or was she just oversensitive, she wondered while preparing herself to visit another office. Mundane tasks were fulfilled hours later, and she could go to participate in the African dance class with Machau ...

Remember that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. This sentence was coming from someone, who was now forced to follow it due to his state of health. Follow yourself. I didn’t and see? He meant his cancer.

For the drumming class, the next day, she invited a friend she read cards for but the girl didn’t like it so much. They stopped by the fast food place on the way back when Latif called:  I am going out.

And? Shall I give you an Oscar for that? It sounds like you are calling me to make talk you out of this idea, or?

Not at all. I am going to drink and party all night long.

The girl sitting nearby overheard that. Be good to him, after all, he has only you in a new country.

Are you Latif’s Samaritan now? Oksana turned to the girl after she hung up.

A few minutes later she got a message Latif didn’t go to the party.

***  Stella’s reading, meeting the student from the past, dream,  dance with Marco ***

It wasn’t a typical client, but a young woman from the ex-pat community, Stella invited for lunch and Tarot reading. There were no questions.

I’m just curious what you will say about me.

Sensing the young woman’s embarrassment, Stella tried to pretend she didn’t know what she was reading, making it as light as possible. It didn’t take her long to notice, the atypical client had piles of problems to hide ... She let her go, concluding it wasn’t her time to face anything and got ready for her outing to the theater ...

The evening performance was supposed to be inspiring, but Stella found herself criticizing everything. Lights were not good, it wasn’t dynamic where it should be, and she felt nothing looking at neutrally moving bodies on the stage. Then, she noticed someone whose dance she remembered. She opened her eyes wider and recognized him. He was a student of hers once, from another country as if from another time, and now he realized his dream of dancing in a company. She must go and congratulate him. His movements were different though, something was missing from the time she knew him ...

This young man looked tired and if she wouldn’t say where they met he wouldn’t even recognize her. She hugged him and wished him the best, hiding her tears and not understanding yet if these were sentimental ones or something else.

More she learned in her dreaming state of being ...

A man she knew from her past stood close by and she sensed sexuality from him so strongly she thought he will act on it, but he wasn’t sure what he wants. She didn’t quite remember how she knew him but it didn’t matter. Charmed by the feeling, she intended to act but her alarm rang ...

The reminiscence of a dream got blurred when Stella cursed loudly, having to deal with never-ending admin work. Now the account she thought she closed was reopened and the bill came for the year to pay. She had to make a lot of phone calls and emails to organize that. And then Paola’s friend Karla was her client for cards today ...

My relationship is not going well. Karla shared over the phone, and it took a while to read cards for her and offer a remedy ... Karla felt better and Stella was free to go to the club to dance ...

Marco. She finally heard the name of a dancer, who was so easily putting her in a blissful state.

They danced till three in the morning, and she could claim with conviction it was the best partner in her whole life ... But for now she simply left the club to have a bit of sleep before the morning work ...

Appointments kept Stella busy half of the day and then she cruised a bit longer through the city. A young man from Ghana approached her in one of the stores.

You are so beautiful and I am single ...

She didn’t wait for more but said: I am thirty, and you are probably barely twenty.

Oh, no, let me prove it to you. He searched for his ID. Let me prove myself to you.

She smiled while letting him go, complimenting the universe for giving her a sign by praising her ... She didn’t admit even to herself about the loneliness, missing something in her heart that was always present there. She didn’t belong ... But it was time to go to Heidelberg to teach for Machau ...

Stella? Could you read ... Well, I got this contract ... Paola stopped her.

You are leaving to have the best life ever! Stella turned back to her room and invited Paola in. Paola was still renting the little room here but now something has changed. She needed to go, somewhere far ... And there it was ... Right after those peculiar dreams with Neththys she painted something and ... The reality presented an opportunity.

Is it legit? She asked with hope, once the cards got mixed. You know I had this series of dreams ... That was as if I painted this ... The contract? She wasn’t sure she was making sense.

Makes sense, she calmed her. Go, and live it! Stella checked again, just in case she was too optimistic. Just don’t tell anyone too much, the only obstacle that may arise it’s people’s jealousy.

I am going to pack, sign, and ... oh dear! She got up happily hugging Stella.

England is not so far away, call if you need anything. You will quickly make friends.

***  Oksana’s calls with Latif and grandma, painful words, Carl helps Oksana with comp, weird family call ***

Somewhere there, at the same time, Oksana found herself in the car with a girl going to a networking event. Having nothing more interesting to do, Oksana went with her. There was something off with the girl but she didn’t know what.

I had a reading with your friend Stella, I don’t believe in those things ... I am involved with a weird guy and he ... Her words flew freely and Oksana wanted to be a good friend, so she tried to ask a psychological question:

Is it possible that ...

Wait, I don’t need your advice! I just need to talk it out of myself.

Good for you. Oksana shut down and made sure she would leave home after the meeting alone. On the way though, Latif called.

Are you angry at me?

No. I’m just not into negative emotions. I see you for who you are. You again said you would come and you didn’t without saying anything. That’s all. She finished that conversation to called her grandma as soon as she arrived home.

What’s new grandma?

Nothing. I hear nothing, I see nothing. And you?

Me too.

Did you get a job?

No.

That is because you talk too much about yourself. You all talk too much in this family. Have some respect for yourself. You are at such an age you should value yourself. You don’t need weird people around you. What about this Indian man? Leave him. You all are the same, my granddaughters are like a mattress!

What? What are you saying?!

I am just worried about you all. None of you can make your life good. Open your eyes! Find someone who will respect you. Start praying! You went so far away from God. Go to the church and confess all your sins!

You really think so badly about us all?

Nobody thinks bad about you! We all think good about you.

I can hear that. Oksana couldn’t hide her sarcasm.

I just worry. And I love you.

I love you too but it is very painful that you think so negatively about me.

I repeat again: nobody thinks bad. We all think good. End of story!

Alright,  I think you are frustrated and you throw that all at me but I love you and I miss you and I cannot be around you. It’s better I won’t say anything anymore.

Then stop talking to me!

She was still crying after this call but ... forgot Carl was about to come late evening to help her out with the computer ... She ran to the doors to open up hearing the bell .... 

From my computer, one of the folders disappeared. Is that even possible if someone had total access to it from another country?

Of course it’s possible. It took the whole evening to install, uninstall, and apply all the ‘treatments’, Carl thought of.

During his visit, Oksana’s dad called, so she picked up the phone.

I don’t know why things are not going well for you. I am here laying down on the carpet and I am crying. Dad sounded honest.

Don’t worry. I am near to the heating system also on the floor, in another country and it looks like I share your tears. It is better though. Oksana shared her tears now.

Carl looked at her not understanding anything from the Polish language but concluding it is a typical Polish and Indian thing to cry during a phone call with a family. Oksana’s mom though had to interrupt that moment of connection with dad as she said:

I know I won’t be a grandma in my life, but if I will live in twenty years I will remind you of that. Then you will see!

***  Unwanted teaching to Machau’s women, and a little bird in the kitchen  ***

The substitute teaching with the women that were not friendly was a challenge for Stella, who agreed to it only because Machau asked. 

Stop commenting while we are dancing! One of them yelled.

Alright. Stella raised her eyebrow.

Stop, she is a dance teacher. She can correct us. Someone else argued with that woman and stood by Stella’s side.

The group got dispersed as three women didn’t accept Stella as a teacher. The atmosphere became metaphorically thick and Stella imagined a knife to cut it off.

This music goes on my nerves. Do you have another one?

I do, but the previous one also went on your nerves. She had to stop teaching after an hour. I am here because Machau asked me and I repeat with you all we did with him, adding warm up to it, making sure your body is prepared. You can choose to do it with me or not. Choose now.

I don’t have anything against you I just cannot respect you as an African dance teacher. The woman, who was the reason why this class didn’t work out approached her later.

You don’t have to respect me, Stella said coldly refraining to add more. I know a bit more than you, so perhaps you can learn from me.

You put yourself in a leadership role.

Someone has to lead, otherwise, the group doesn’t function, do you agree?

I do, but why you?

"So you don’t like the fact that he