To Stay or Go: Tough Life Decisions and the Rearview Perspective

By Rose Marie Martin

The answers to life's big decisions are rarely on a billboard. Through prayer, Christians ask the Lord for obvious answers that they hope will make it easier, but sometimes God’s will is not all peaches and cream. After loyally following His will, it can be even more challenging for believers to then trust the outcome.

In a recollection of her journey through a major decision in 2005, Rose Marie Martin offers inspirational insight into her family’s dilemma whether to relocate to her husband’s dream location or remain in a cushy comfort zone that was not as perfect as it appeared. As she details their eventual move and subsequent hiccups, Rose Marie reveals an unexpected twist that upset the family for months (and years to come). Did they misinterpret God’s will, and would the damaging effects have been thwarted if they had not taken a leap of faith? The conclusion is a hindsight reflection determined nearly two decades later.

To Stay or Go chronicles a couple’s leap of faith as they attempted to discern whether God was prompting a big decision or if they were fulfilling a selfish longing.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Mar 6, 2024
• ISBN: 9798385019984

Rose Marie Martin

Rose Marie Martin is a native Georgian and graduate of the University of Georgia. She developed a passion for ministering to teenage girls when she became involved in her local church’s youth ministry. She is the author of Take5forHIM: One Year Devotionals for Young Women and Women in THE WORD: Ordinary Women in God’s Extraordinary Story. For more about her testimony, follow Take5forHIM on social media platforms.

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Copyright © 2024 Rose Marie Martin.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture quotations marked HCSB®, are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. HCSB® is a federally registered trademark of Holman Bible Publishers.

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1997-7 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1996-0 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1998-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024903976

WestBow Press rev. date: 02/20/2024

Dedicated to

my husband and the kids. You are my greatest joys on earth. I love y’all all the way the numbers go, that many times around.

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1     Home

Chapter 2     Life Changes Rapidly

Chapter 3     Hurricanes Halt

Chapter 4     A Firm Offer

Chapter 5     To Stay or Go?

Chapter 6     Pass This Cup

Chapter 7     Going Deeper

Chapter 8     For Sale

Chapter 9     Single Mom

Chapter 10   Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!

Chapter 11   Pressure

Chapter 12   A Cold Month

Chapter 13   One Foot in Front of the Other

Chapter 14   Rock Bottom

Chapter 15   A Child’s Wisdom

Chapter 16   House Slavery

Chapter 17   Hard Days

Chapter 18   House Chasing

Chapter 19   Another Rising

Chapter 20   Surprise!

Chapter 21   The Sunshine State

Chapter 22   Heart Burning

Chapter 23   Six Months and Still Hurting

Chapter 24   Like a Movie

Chapter 25   Breakdown

Chapter 26   Katrina

Chapter 27   Military Families

Chapter 28   The Old Man Smell

Chapter 29   20/20 Hindsight

Notes

INTRODUCTION

Writing [more than a hobby] is a surprise that resulted from a passion to share godly wisdom, advice, and explain the Bible in a fresh way to perk the ears of teen girls. As a youth group leader, I was shocked that many girls rarely opened the Bible on their own. It broke my heart, and I desperately wanted to find a way to teach teens that Christianity is more than living a moral life. Bright-colored index cards with relatable messages and Bible verses were the first proactive step. Next, a five-minute midweek devotional from the email address Take5forHIM. Later, I published Take5forHIM: One Year Devotionals for Young Women and Women in THE WORD: Ordinary Women in God’s Extraordinary Story—a study of over thirty-four women in the Bible.

Long before either book was published, this one was written. I consider myself a devotional writer, but this life experience is pressing to be shared for women of all ages, whether considering a relocation or seeking God’s will in the tough dilemma of decision-making. It is not always easy to know when He is opening and slamming doors. I bared my raw soul in these pages. I am thankful it was written in a journal as the chain of events unfolded because I would have long forgotten many agonizing details. The conclusion is the hindsight chapter years after relocating. God revealed character flaws in the story that the reader will pick up along the way. It was painful to rehash, but I am stronger for it.

Everyone has a story. What would you write?

Be blessed. Be encouraged. Be inspired to see Christ in everything, every day!

In Christ,

Rose Marie Martin

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

CHAPTER 1

HOME

Dorothy held Toto, closed her eyes, clicked her heels, and whispered, There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.¹ People casually roll the words off their tongues after returning from a trip, hospital visit, or a long day of work, but there is no place like home!

The dictionary defines home as the place where a person (or family) lives; one’s dwelling place.² For most of us, especially women, that is a lame description. My definition is more accurately sketched as the place where a hen has laid eggs and nested, settled, and established roots; being home is the most comforting and peaceful feeling a woman can ever feel.

This is our family’s journey in 2005. I had a heart tug to begin writing a few months after relocating due to extreme homesickness. Tears streamed down my face as I recounted our step-by-step experience. I typed over a one-year span but never stamped a conclusion until now, almost twenty years later. The cover title will likely attract readers who are considering a long-distance relocation but also anyone debating life-altering decisions. It is tough to discern whether these decisions are God’s will or our self-made desire. We pray for confirmation, but an answer does not always come easily.

Similar to preachers who give sermons that speak to the heart of personal life crunches, podcast hosts were cheerleaders to push forward with the story as I hesitated for some type of earthly approval. One podcaster energized me by saying that telling my story is not about me but about communicating to others who are in a quandary. As a reader, be encouraged that you are not alone in this world. Your struggles are felt by others, and my story may relate to your own.

You may see yourself in these pages and wonder if a situation will ever improve. The circumstances may be completely different than a moving transition; perhaps it is a decision, regret, or trial that has been difficult to reconcile for a lengthy period and harboring deep in your gut. This story is 100 percent transparent and exposes the hard moments when I felt the meekest, loneliest, and most lacking in joyfulness. Hang in there until the wrap-up chapter, which will bring hope that there is a break in the valleys. Fix your eyes above knowing the God of creation cares about every level of decision-making and the steps for an optimal solution.

If you have recently moved, perhaps you are in a place of uncertainty and doubt because so far life is not perfect because you have not made a single friend and your new dwelling does not feel homey—yet.

For settled residents, may God prompt you to reach out to a new neighbor, church visitor, or someone who moved within the past year. It is estimated that it takes eighteen months to two years to acclimate in an unfamiliar environment. You may be the difference in someone’s life by giving a friendly welcome, building a friendship, and ministering with your presence. Relationships are the most important asset in life, and we have no idea how someone is managing emotionally without extending a hand. As Christians, we should be compelled to pour hospitality with a welcoming spirit. By doing so, we are planting the seeds of the gospel and being obedient to God’s Great Commission.

One example is a family who became a friend’s back-door neighbor. Anna rang the Moore family’s doorbell within a week of their move. She brought a big smile and a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies. Providentially, typical introductory chitchat revealed that the family had moved from Anna’s hometown. As Anna stepped down the porch steps, she said, If you’re looking for a church home, we’d love to have you visit ours. Jane and her husband were not churchgoers, so she politely smiled and said thank you. Within weeks, a friendship developed between the families.

They talked over the fence, the kids played, they grilled backyard burgers, and Jane decided to visit Anna’s church, but Michael was uninterested. It had been years since Jane had darkened the doors of a church. She later discussed the sermon in more detail with Anna. Within days, she prayed with Anna to become a Christ follower. Weeks later, Jane and Michael attended a Low Country boil dinner. A gentleman shared his testimony with a similar upbringing as Michael, so he later spoke with him on the immeasurable joy of knowing Christ. Their spiritual lives resulted from a batch of homemade cookies.

Another illustration of reaching out is when Sarah Lynn was at a playground with her small child. She noticed a young mother reading a newcomer’s guide. Sarah Lynn struck up a conversation by asking the ages of her children, where they’d moved from, and why they’d moved to the South. The two met again, and it was the beginning of Sarah Lynn’s journey to know Jesus. She sensed there was something different about the new friend and wanted to know the source of her joy. Sarah Lynn became another spiritually lost person