Lessons Learned for my Sons: Wisdom for Everyday Living and Inspiring Others

By David Watson

Lessons Learned for my Sons. The idea for an entire book about lessons learned germinated from the simple desire of a father to share his life experiences with his boys.  And my ultimate goal wasn't to scribe another "Self Help" book.  The idea is to motivate yourself, get friends to inspire you or

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lessons Learned for my Sons
• Release date: Jan 15, 2024
• ISBN: 9798989182824

David Watson

David Watson - Relationship Activator & Optimist at ThinqShift.What do I do today? I deliver leadership services to help individuals, teams and/or organizations reach their fullest (business) potential and ultimate (personal) passions - basically what I've been doing informally most of my life. Now I focus full-time on helping shift mindsets, behaviors and cultural beliefs at the critical inflection points of an individual's career journey and/or a company's organizational journey/transformation. All of this against the backdrop of VUCA - volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity - for rapidly changing market conditions.

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

the action of introducing something

When I was growing up, almost every playground had a teeter-totter. Two people sat across from each on the teeter-totter, and one thrust themselves up while the other went down. There was the force field of gravity, and then the acceleration and weight of each kid made it fun. What thrilled me was when all aspects were in harmony, and my friend and I were in balance. Neither of us was touching the ground, yet we teetered in the air, balancing in a way that seemed like magic.

When I first met David Watson, we were both in the acceleration stage of our careers and personal lives.

On the teeter-totter, we were both pushing off the ground. I led a small team of sales professionals at PTC (more on PTC in the story called Company) and had just given birth to my first child. David had his first son and was interviewing at PTC after working at a few tech companies. Looking back, I don’t know if I would characterize our lives and behaviors as in harmony. David came across as having an overabundance of self-confidence and know-how. PTC was a tough place to find stable footing, and I wanted to build a team with staying power. It was important to me to have a group of individuals with different perspectives and personalities. I felt the diversity made us a better team because we would challenge each other differently. After interviewing David, I realized he had experience in the tech start-up world, where he learned the intensity of meeting financial objectives. He was smart and had strong financial analysis capabilities. All in all, he would bring a unique set of skills to the team, so he was in.

Dave and I worked together over the following five years in acceleration mode. We drove hard and were at the top of our game. But it took a toll. Gravity hit us hard a few times, and the teeter-totter suddenly dropped. Neither of us had our eye on balance, even though we told ourselves we did. There was so much stress from being on the go at my house my oldest daughter started pulling out her eyelashes and eyebrows to deal with her anxiety. Dave burned some relationships internal to PTC by exuding his self-confidence in a way that was disrespectful to his co-workers. Neither one of us knew how to find our equilibrium.

Fast forward six years, and in 2013, David and I started working together again. At Pariveda Solutions, we spent 7 ½ years building a consulting organization in Seattle. Dave and I have gone through life changes, maturing through life’s lessons and intentionally developing into better human beings. I brought David to Pariveda because I wanted to work with someone who challenged me, provided me with candid feedback, and supported my growth. David was my ideal teeter-totter partner, the one I needed to provide that thrill of balance: both feet off the ground, suspended in the air, supporting each other in harmony. I trust over the years, I have provided Dave the same satisfaction of equilibrium he has provided to me.

With the lessons you learn from this book, I hope it helps you find your balance and harmony when you need it. It is a gift Dave has provided to me, which I cherish. Now, it is a gift to all of you.

Margaret Scovern

V.P., Pariveda Solutions

BACKDROP

provide a background or setting for.

Lessons Learned for my Sons. The idea for an entire book about lessons learned germinated from the simple desire of a father to share his high and low points with his boys.

At the time, I was a Vice President (VP) with Pariveda Solutions. Pariveda is a technology and management consulting firm emphasizing mentoring, coaching, and learning/ development. As a VP, one of my responsibilities was mentoring 3-4 Principals (one level below VP). I'll further delve into that experience with you through several stories I'll share in this book like Company and Work.

Another responsibility of a VP was to be active in our marketing efforts — which included blogging, posting on LinkedIn, writing articles for our website, etc. As I considered what I might write about that would be valuable to others, I realized that many of my VP colleagues had much more experience with complex technology solutions, long-lasting implementation programs, and delving into enterprise architecture discussions.

What would I write about that might interest others?

Lessons Learned for my Sons. That was the title of the first full article I wrote on LinkedIn on August 22, 2017.

What came to me was that my best audience would be my two sons — Ryan and Cole — versus trying to explain technology to some unknown audience on LinkedIn. Too often, I'd share a story with my boys and get a response like this with their eyes rolled up, Dad, we don't need to talk about the interview process for another 6–7 years… why are you telling us about this now?.

My first few articles were about what experiences I've had at work or home that would be valuable to share with my boys — even if they didn't need them right now. Since I was sharing them in the public domain, I quickly realized that many of these lessons applied to everyone. I was going to call the book Lessons Learned for...Everyone because you can insert sons, daughters, friends, work colleagues, direct reports, leadership, executives, moms, dads, etc. to replace the word Everyone. But I love the title as it appears on the cover!

Over time, I shifted away from 4–5 page articles that might take half a day or more to consider, write, edit, and share. The idea of shorter posts seemed easier — both for me to create and share and, more importantly, for the reader to enjoy and benefit from. The idea of shorter posts led me to the concept of stories in this book that are limited to just a few pages at most, making them easy to digest for you, the reader.

Someone I’d like to give credit to is Brené Brown. Not only have I devoured all of her books, but I also benefited greatly from her online programs. I'll share my lessons learned about vulnerability and more later in the book. The purpose for bringing up Brené Brown is that one of her books, Atlas of the Heart, gave me an initial idea about how to share my lessons learned with everyone.

Additionally, I subscribe to Merriam Webster’s Word of the Day. My idea of introducing each story in this book with a word and its definition is more of a prompt for me to share a story and the associated lessons learned with that word. Some stories will simply be a story with a lesson learned. Other stories include a framework to leverage, a process to follow, or bulleted comments - mini lessons if you will.

My goal was not only to make the stories easily digestible and accessible but also to enable the reader to flip to any story, read it within a few minutes, and absorb the simple lessons learned from that story. While I hope that all 110 stories (not including these stories that precede Chapter 1) have value for every reader, I realize that some stories will resonate nicely, and others might seem like, Why did he share that?. However, the crucial part for me is that you garner some lessons learned that you can apply to your daily lives — or even share some lessons learned in the service of helping others.

Why 110 stories?

My goal was to publish this book while I was still 55. I thought sharing at least two stories for every trip I've made around Planet Earth would be the correct number — instead of a round number like 100 or any other frequently used Top Ten-like number.

Now, how to organize the stories in this book?

The easiest way for me to categorize the stories was based on my journey:

When did I learn these lessons? Before college? During college? My first job? My first leadership role? During my personal life? Using a chronological sequence made more sense to make it easier for me to write the book.

But I wanted to focus on YOU, the reader of the book.

I'm currently the Relationship Activator & Optimist at ThinqShift. Our mission at ThinqShift is Crafting Fabulous Leaders to succeed and reinvent the world. As we engage with our clients, much of our time is spent helping individuals, teams, and entire organizations shift their mindsets, behaviors, and cultures against the backdrop of their business and personal challenges.

How can I take that same approach with a book?

Here's what makes sense as the easiest possible way for the reader to absorb any single story, an entire chapter of stories, or, if you are enjoying yourself, the whole book.

Each chapter has 10–15 stories, sorted by themed chapters as shown in the table.

This framework is based upon my experiences during thousands of hours of coaching and mentoring across hundreds of individuals, teams, and organizations.

The Y axis (vertical) is based upon my assessment of the most effective way to build a new habit with the lessons learned.

On Your Own

You can figure this one out individually.

With a Friend

Getting some help — from a friend, work colleague, family member, etc. — would be the most effective method.

Find a Pro

Consider working or collaborating with someone more formally — a coach, therapist, or mentor. My goal wasn't to create a self-help book but rather a book where you can help yourself, help others or collaborate with others to help each other — depending upon how the story impacts you.

The X axis (left to right) is based on how difficult I feel it might be for an individual to build a new habit. Low, Medium, or High difficulty. The backdrop here is also essential; it’s the underlying method of creating a habit.

Unconsciously Incompetent

This is the earliest stage of habit formation. At this point, you are entirely unaware (unconscious) of your habit, so you can't even work to improve it (incompetent).

Consciously Incompetent

Think about awareness. You still need to improve with this habit (Incompetent), but at least you are aware (consciously) it is something you are working on.

Consciously Competent

At this point, you are not only aware of (consciously) what you are working on but also getting pretty good with this habit (competent) with practice.

Unconsciously Competent

Now, you are so good that it becomes a habit (competent) that you no longer need to think about it (unconsciously), and it happens naturally.

The rewiring of the neurons in your brain takes a while to build a new habit. Everyone will go through these four stages at different speeds and with varying amounts of effort needed. My assessment of Low, Medium, and High difficulty is based upon my experiences, both personally and as a coach/ mentor, of rewiring the brain for a new habit or behavior.

Full disclosure, my alignment of the stories across the nine chapters in this book is my perspective. You, the reader, might discover something I've labeled Worked so hard you can teach others how might be Been there, Done or Seen that because you built that habit with your coach. I understand. Again, my bigger picture goal was to make it easy for you to read one story in any sequence at any time — like the classic choose your own adventure books I read growing up. This is more of a reference book across 110 individual lessons learned than some novel or must read it all business book.

The last concept I want to share is about money. I plan to donate 100% of any profits from this book to charity — which, as appropriate, you can read about in a few pages in the little story called Charity.

LESSON LEARNED

In summary, as I write each story and finalize this book, I still focus on sharing as many of my work/life lessons learned as if I’m sharing them directly with Ryan and/or Cole. My transformation during the process was the realization that many others might benefit from these lessons. And this is a great way to share lessons learned with others in a digestible way. Think about your own backdrop for how you might leverage these lessons learned to help yourself build new habits, support and serve others, and simply enjoy a few hours with some stories that might resonate with you in some way or even by activating your own memories of stories from your life and those lessons learned.

CHAPTER

a main division of a book, typically with a number or title.

How would you write or share the chapters of your own life? Here’s my methodology.

Chapter 1: Practice When You Can

Lessons Learned in this chapter should be pretty straightforward. These are some lessons you can work on without help from other folks. And the progressions through the habit-building process should be reasonably quick.

Chapter 2: Work Intentionally To Get Better

These lessons require some additional and focused effort. You may need to break the work down a bit into smaller components. It would be best if you created some intentionality with them as well. You should be aware as you shift from incompetence to competence.

Chapter 3: Worked So Hard You Can Teach Others How

Again, these are lessons that you can build on your own. Certainly, there are excellent sources of inspiration and education — books, online videos, podcasts, etc. — but a lot of hard work is involved with moving through these lessons on your own.

Chapter 4: Bounce Casual Ideas off Each Other

This chapter is about having a reporting buddy.

You'll still be doing a lot of work individually, but it is nice to share what is working or what isn't with someone else in a friendly way.

Chapter 5: Dial-a-Friend if You Are in Need or Trouble

This next lesson is a much more formal version of working on a habit — when you have a genuine accountability buddy. Instead of a casual update, as in the previous chapter, this is about having someone you'd call and check in with formally. They will hold you accountable to your goals and encourage you to improve if you need to be on track. In most situations, you've given them the power to criticize you if you aren't reaching your goals. In fact, that's what you want when you call them.

Chapter 6: Lifelong Friend Who Is in Trouble With You!

My thinking about this title goes like this. Say you had a rough night and, for whatever reason, got thrown in jail. A good friend or colleague from Chapter 5 is the person you would call to come bail you out. A great, lifelong friend sits beside you in jail and says, That was fun!. Now, this is the friend you need for this chapter!

Okay, I'm not suggesting you need to go to jail with a friend. But the idea is that these lessons learned are challenging to do alone. And best accomplished with a friend who is working on the same lesson learned or is deeply invested in you as a person and sincerely wants to help you grow/ develop further in your mutual lifetimes.

Chapter 7: Been There, Done or Seen That

Think about the lessons learned from this chapter in terms of experiential learning. Having someone professional, whether a coach or a formal mentor, is helpful to help you through the habit-building process. Often, this is something the other person has either experienced themselves or coached someone else through — and they can share those patterns of success as well as the lessons learned from their failures or observing the failures of others.

Chapter 8: Match.Com: Be Selective About Your Pro

These lessons learned require someone more experienced to help you. Not just any coach, mentor, or professional can assist you. Be choosy. The ultimate goal is to connect with someone who can support you based on a very specific situation aligned with the right knowledge to share at the right time.

Chapter 9: Get as Much Help as You Can

These are the lessons that take years to learn and master. You might work with multiple pros across your growth and habit development process. You'll need to connect with the pro on every level — head, heart, gut, and soul. There might even be a progression, one pro helps you through the first stage, and you shift to a second pro to take it to the next level.

LESSON LEARNED

My goal is to help you understand which stories might interest you in a specific chapter versus needing to read them in sequence.

My first perspective of arranging the chapters was based on my chronological experiences. Then I realized that everyone would leverage these lessons in their own way. Therefore, the lessons I've aligned by chapter may differ from how you need to learn them. For example, you may need to call a friend where I tried doing something on my own. Or you could accomplish something by yourself where I needed to hire a pro.

As it turns out, the chapters are set up as a choose your own adventure perspective — and the stories can be read in any order as 110 different short, stand-alone stories. In any case, the organization of the chapters and stories within gives you a more profound and effective way of consuming some or all of this book. Pick a chapter to read. Or delve into a specific story. You could even open the book to a random page and start reading a new story. Find a path forward to build the lessons learned most beneficial to you or others with whom you might be sharing these lessons with the objective of serving others.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY

an account of a person's life written by that person

How would YOU write your autobiography? This is a long process… nothing feels auto about it!

I'm still determining how many total stories are needed to write a comprehensive autobiography. However, this book will have 110 stories that comprise a significant portion of the account of my life, and I hope that future books will add more stories to provide a fuller picture of my life.

This story is a mini-autobiography summarized by the seven original chapters I created to organize the many stories in my head. That truly felt like an autobiography as the seven chapters were entirely chronological — which is very different from the final results of 110 stories across nine chapters as I shared above in the Backdrop section.

What follows below are my original several chapters in autobiographical form.

Before I Went to College

I was born in Cincinnati, OH — where my parents grew up. We lived in Cincinnati until I was in kindergarten and then moved to Michigan. We were in Michigan until I was in fourth grade, and we moved to Illinois. More specifically, Sleepy Hollow, IL.

My grandma moved from Ohio to Michigan to Illinois with us and always lived 10–15 minutes away. At the time, I didn't think about the fact she was my only relative outside of my parents and brother. We had a lot of great times with my grandma.

What do I remember along my journey from elementary school to middle school to high school?

Sports were my passion. Academics was something I was good at. Friendships were easy to develop. And to remember to have fun along the way.

My strong academics allowed me to be accepted at both University of Illinois (U of I) and Northwestern (see the story called Choice); I decided to venture down to Central Illinois for four years at U of I.

During my Years in College

My four years at U of I were a blast. Outside of my mom and dad's amazing financial (academic only) support, I predominantly learned how to be independent, earn my own spending money and live on my own — or with great roommates! And road trips were a blast — whether for Illinois football or basketball games away from home, Spring Break trips with college friends, or awesome summer adventures.

Taking classes, learning complex topics, and studying for quizzes and exams were significantly different at U of I than in high school. And I’ll share some of those lessons learned later in the book.

Most of my close friendships developed through my fraternity — though I also met many other friends through high school connections, engineering classes, sorority dances, and more.

And even though I had worked at Italian U-Boat and mowed yards for cash, my college years were my first exposure to real work across several summer internships.

After graduation, I took a few weeks off and headed back home. Only to leave a few weeks later for Central Illinois — again.

In my First Real Job

Peoria, IL. That is where my first job took me to work at IBM (see the story called Strength). As my career progressed, I shifted between roles where I was an individual contributor, a manager (team leader), and an executive (leader of leaders). For my categorization purposes during the early phases of my book, any job where I was an individual contributor would have fallen in this category.

When I Was Part of a Team

Being part of a team includes roles in my career where I worked on teams who collaborated closely, and even acted as a team leader in some instances. You can follow my career quest via LinkedIn, so I won’t bore you here with the details!

When I Was Asked To Lead a Team

This is where the word Management gets involved. For these roles, several people directly reported to me. In addition to helping them achieve their goals from a business perspective, I was also responsible for their internal career development and externally facing engagements. And in several instances, these roles led to high-level roles where I was managing teams of teams.

When I Was the Boss

This is most of my tenure as a VP with Pariveda and my current role with ThinqShift.

When I Was Away From Work

This might have been called Personal Life, but I liked the heading as is. Even though they applied to my work, many stories happened in my personal life after work, on weekends, and over the summer.

That's my autobiography chronologically as I first envisioned writing this book. But I realized that organization was best for ME and not for YOU, the reader. As I shared in the definition of Chapter above, I reconfigured the book to consider YOUR perspective instead of my own.

LESSON LEARNED

Though I have a few friends who have wanted to be a pilot, teacher, or nurse since age ten (and still are!), the twists and turns in my life brought me to this point. I'm grateful for the lessons I learned from others and hope to share as many or more with you.

COMPANY

a commercial business

What career stops would you include with your resume or LinkedIn summary?

Many of my stories reference one of my employers or customers I worked closely with over the years. The purpose of this quick story is to give you some brief background about the companies I've worked with since many played an essential platform for my own lessons learned. The story called Autobiography was more about flow…this story is more about my specific stops along the way.

In reverse order of my career journey

ThinqShift: This is where I'm fortunate to be today and hopefully remain for the balance of my career journey. We are all about providing Leadership Services to our clients, crafting fabulous leaders as they succeed in their business roles, and, more importantly, seeking to make a difference in the world. My time here is about facilitating, teaching, advising, coaching, counseling, leading, consulting, guiding, and more.

Today is your Day! Leadership Services: I started this Limited Liability Company (LLC) because almost everyone at ThinqShift is a 1099, or contract, employee. Today! is the legal entity I needed to form to focus 100% of my effort on ThinqShift.

Emerald Technology Group (GetGreen): Not an employer at all, but I'm an investor and advisor in this little startup focused on helping individuals understand how to build sustainability habits.

And I’m still actively involved in these three, and a few other, adventures currently - which I’ll discuss further in the next story called Work.

Moving to ThinqShift and Today! was the second huge career shift in my life.

Pariveda: Technology and Management Consulting organization. I was a Vice President with many accountabilities — delivery, execution, leadership, mentorship, sales, business development, coaching, enterprise architecting, etc. It was a great experience for over eight years.

CRAFT: Part of my journey inside Pariveda included running a small software company inside of Pariveda. CRAFT was a fun little ride as well.

Joining Pariveda was my first huge career shift. Before Pariveda, I was involved in mostly software and technology companies.

Oracle: One of the largest software companies in the world. I spent several years at Oracle selling to notable companies like Amazon.com and Nintendo, to name a few.

Vistagy: A small software company — ironically focused on composite design software for the aerospace and automotive industries. Who would have thought my Ceramic Engineering degree would benefit me in the future? I didn't.

PTC: Another $1B+ software company. My biggest customer was Boeing.

eCash Technologies: A startup software company. I was the first employee and played about a dozen roles until I eventually moved into sales/business development.

InterTrans Logistics/i2 Technologies: InterTrans Logistics was a small software company selling to the logistics industry. i2 Technologies was a larger supply chain company that acquired us.

COMSI: An IBM Distribution firm. This meant I was a full-time IBM employee who worked 100% on a commission since COMSI employed me.

IBM: The largest computer company in the world at the time. It was my first job out of college.

Before these highlighted companies, I worked with small companies part-time in high school and college — some were internships, and others were simply summer jobs to earn spending money for the school year.

LESSON LEARNED

A company is a great proving and learning ground for who you want to become. Remember that a company is more than just a business — it is a collection of people, technology, processes, clients, partners, and more. YOU make the company… don't let the company make you.

WORK

activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.

I like the word Work here instead of Job.

My role at ThinqShift is the only Work I'm doing right now where I'm getting paid (in the definition of a Job). Everything else I’m doing is focused on a different result than financial.

ThinqShift

Our mission at ThinqShift is to Craft Fabulous Leaders to Succeed and Reinvent the World. We deliver this to our clients through Leadership Services — broken down in the following manner:

ReWire®: One-on-one coaching and advisory service. This is executive coaching to some people, but we often leverage some of our ShiftUp! Academy content.

ShiftUp! Academy: Our one-to-many training and development service. This is where our Intellectual Property (IP) resides. Some people might call this leadership training.

Orchestrate: Our consulting and advisory services. It is more facilitation and usually includes lighter training, development, and coaching.

Our clients engage us most frequently when there are significant transformations in someone's career quest, changes to the organization's evolution, or variations in the overall market maturity. Therefore, we focus on the shifts needed in individuals' behaviors, mindsets, and thinking preferences to adapt to these rapidly changing situations.

Our goal is to serve others, and you can find me at

[e-mail], on our website at thinqshift.com/david, or on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/david-watson-4875/.

Emerald Technology Group (GetGreen)

GetGreen is a mobile application that lets your organization lower emissions, remove existing carbon, and engage your employees on the journey. Sustainability programs succeed when your team supports them. Download the free app at getgreen.eco.

I'm both an investor and Executive Advisor for GetGreen. Teaching everyone sustainability habits aligns directly with my personal goal of supporting myself and others to avoid putting 3.2 million tons of carbon into the atmosphere before my last turn on Planet Earth. Please read more about this in the Environment story.

You can find me at [e-mail] or on the website at getgreen.eco/ about.

ATDps — Association for Talent Development Puget Sound

ATD is a local association committed to talent development professionals in the Puget Sound area. We are here for our members and the broader talent development community in the Puget Sound.

My role with ATDPS is that of Director of Programs. Like other board members and volunteers, I'm giving my time and passion to ATD in support of serving others in the learning and development space.

You can find me at [e-mail]. Or on the website atdpugetsound.org/BOD.

University of Washington Honors Program Advisory Board

I'm grateful to my friend Tina for getting me involved with the Honors Advisory Board. Another volunteer position. Serving the needs of others who strive to serve the needs of others themselves? Sign me up!

Here's the mission for UW Honors Program: The University Honors Program engages a diverse population of students through a rigorous interdisciplinary curriculum that promotes expansive, innovative thinking and conscious global citizenship. We ask students to take intellectual risks; seek an understanding of the interdependence of all branches of knowledge; engage with the complexities of difference and diversity; take leadership roles in navigating global change; and value a life of continuous learning and personal growth.

LESSON LEARNED

There are many aspects of Work. It can be more of a job but also a volunteer position where you have an opportunity to give back in the form of time, money, passion, experience, and more. And while you are definitely focused on accomplishing some purpose or result, if you are doing it for the right reasons, it won't feel like work. Do everything you can to shift a Job (for money) to Work (for passion and love). And enjoy the People you meet through Work for sure!

PEOPLE

human beings in general or considered collectively.

Note: Maybe I should have called this chapter Mammals because I'll add a couple of dogs to this list. I treat them like real people, I'm just sayin’.

This chapter briefly describes some of the key people in my life who were part of my journey and helped me with these lessons. In most cases, the individuals listed below were involved in more than one of my stories and lessons learned, so I wanted to give some background here first. Then, for the many other people who have played a role in my life, I'll share my connection with them in the specific lessons learned.

Ryan

My oldest son. He went to the University of Colorado and graduated with a degree in Environmental Design. His focus going forward will be more on creativity, product design and building. He's very hands-on and is a fantastic artist as well. As a firstborn son myself, it was incredible to learn so many new lessons from Ryan directly that were so different from my lessons learned growing up. I get goosebumps when I recall the first time I held him in my arms in the delivery room.

Cole

He is currently at the University of Washington studying Marine Biology. I connected with Cole in so many different ways that I initially connected with Ryan. As a second son, Cole taught me an entirely different set of lessons — far beyond those I experienced as a firstborn observing my younger brother growing up. I always smile and get goosebumps yet again when I think about the first time I held Cole.

Michael, Jack, and Katie

Speaking of my younger brother, Michael and I were the only two sons (and kids) in my family growing up. His two children are the same ages as Ryan and Cole. In fact, Jack is just five days older than Ryan and graduated from my alma mater — the University of Illinois. My niece Katie is at the University of Michigan and is just two months older than her cousin Cole. Michael still lives in the Chicago area and does a great job connecting in person with our mom. Being in Seattle, I haven’t spent as much time as I might have liked with Michael, Jack, and Katie, but our times together are filled with joy, laughter, and fun.

Mom

What can I say about my mom? She was a Math Teacher and instilled a study hard behavior in me early. When my dad passed away, I connected with my mom on a much deeper level than I ever had. She lives in the Chicago suburbs and does as well as she can without my dad. Some days I still feel like a little kid when I’m speaking with my mom and other days, I need to take care of her. We have an amazing relationship today.

Dad

I'll speak about my dad often in this book because I don't have the chance to share these lessons learned with him now. He passed away just before the pandemic in early 2020. I'll speak to it across various chapters in the book, but I wish I could have shared many of these lessons learned and told him how grateful I was for him being part of them. Tears come quickly for me when I think about my dad; at least now, they are almost always tears of joy.

Grandma

Only a few lessons learned relate to my grandma. She was important to me as I didn't know my other three grandparents. And since my parents were only children, I didn't have aunts, uncles, or cousins. So my grandma was the only family I had outside of Mom, Dad, and Michael. Unfortunately, she passed away in 1993, and I'm