Moonbeam bender: Blog memoir

By Elena Ioana Melanson

I am an artist and author, I have 3 pennames: Elizabeth saturn, nygvik nomza, and Eleanor A. Foxstars. I am also hoping to be a tattoo artist. I love talking about my life, and hobbies, also I enjoy coffee. I am tattoo and piercing fiend, mental health warrior!

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookRix
• Release date: Nov 12, 2023
• ISBN: 9783755460701

Book preview

About me

 Hello there my name is Elena Melanson or Elena Ioana Melanson if you're wondering why I use that name, well, it's my legal name. My name is Elena Ioana melanson, I was born in Romania and left for dead many years ago when I was just a baby 34 years ago on February 4 that was my birthday, and I was left for dead for two years until I was adopted a large traumatic thing that happened to me when I was younger, particularly there was a lot brutality in Opression. This kind of thing was not something I wanted, even though I was a baby. Do you not start this bullshit about children not being able to understand what's going on around them when they are just babies babies do have brains and they know how to use them and they're not stupid. That being said when I was adopted, I was out of that bad situation. If you were to call it the Apple I ended up with PTSD, Asperger's and ADHD from the whole shit show that was my life up till two years to months. When I made it to Canada, I thought I was safe until my parents drop me off at daycare. That was the biggest mistake of their life. I think. Because I thought I was into deep again, and I didn't want to deal with kids my age. When I went to school, it was a Catholic school. It was a horrible place for me because the teachers were prejudiced against how intelligent I was not being sarcastic but I actually truthful I was always being targeted because I was girlfriend full of energy and full of intellect and the school did not like that soon enough that I was getting bullied by my friends who were really shitheads to begin with. I learned to read at age 4 before school and I was able to write pretty quickly with some practice after I wanted to school and then I ended up graduating from grade 8 with no honours or anything with you it's kind of a pain in the arse but then I ended up graduating high school with honours and with an award. That was pretty good . That being said, I am an artist, author, musician, and photographer. I like to do a lot of interesting things. This is what I enjoy doing it designing my own tattoos., getting sad, tattoos done and getting piercings professionally done, of course and having coffee reading and writing. This is where I end up talking about my pen name is Elizabeth Saturn, Nygvik Nomza, and Eleanor a fox stars.   I am currently writing on her my legal name which is Elena Ioana melanson.

I write because I have PTSD as a manager not just from the war zone that I was born in but also because of the sheer amount of bull crap I had to deal with her BS that I had to deal with in school Catholic school to be honest with you what is not exactly my parents High Point in their life. But they've done some good things to make up for it like taking me on trips almost around the world except at Asia. They had something against Asia but then they ended up adopting an Asian girl particularly me, so that's kind of strange. I have three brothers, Mark John, and some other asshole. I'm not gonna mention excuse my language is there, but that is the truth. The other one was trying to hurt me in someway and was not a very good person. That's why I'm trying to figure out my life right now after that. Also, I was in an abusive relationship about 10 months ago when I was just in the age and 33 it was pretty awful for me to deal with when I broke up with a guy at age 34 he ended up , hating me for everything and threatening me with even more abuse. His name is Brian Werner. He was a horrible human being, but anyways not too much about that. I will block more about that later, but anyways, I also have a good friend named janara. Also, I have friends in my group home I live in a group home because of my PTSD and Asperger's and the severity of the PTSD has made sure that I live in a group home for quite some time, and to be on disability for quite some time I wish I wasn't because I have an IQ of 196 and I feel that being on disability is an affair for me, so this is kind of a fuck up in my life is a disability part I want to take the money from someone that actually needs it, where is that? I can actually get a fucking job and do something with my life but for some odd reason there's something holding me back and this is why I am blogging to know what is holding me back. It is most likely PTSD that is holding me back. There is a safety issue with me trying to get a job elsewhere. If I were to get another job, I would be  a tattoo artist, and I will be where I know best of the perth  ink witch Emporium because I trust these people nachos with the safety of my body, but also with the safety of my mind as well if I were to work there.   Right now I'm just trying to work on my artwork and trying to do better with my artwork. It doesn't take very much longer but it will get to the point where I'll go to an apprenticeship and I'll be able to be a tattoo artist and may be a pier sure, I'm hoping that one day that I am able to get off the disability though because I kind of find that it's unfair that I should be on disability want my IQ is through the roof and someone else who is more deserving of it doesn't have it it's kind of bad.  That was my mothers second biggest mistake was to put me on odious P when I really have a intelligence of a elephant or iPad or whatever that is fire marshal faster here than any human. I don't like to brag about my brain, but that is what it is, if I remember when I was a baby, I'm pretty damn intelligent so that being said, don't put me on disability again mom .

Last year my mother had passed away after my brother trying to hurt me and that being said I was distraught and still, I am to this day a little distraught with the fact that my mother had passed away now I make stone cairns all over the group home that I live not just for my mother, but also for fun, they're usually use for funerary purposes, but in some cases are use for our order that I use mine for our order goes well for the most part. My father and I never got along so that's one thing you must know is that I want to be father Bashan, and my aunt she is something else a real psychopath. 

That being said, is important to enjoy life as it is and that's what I'm trying to do. I will try to maintain this blog as much as possible and this is what I am trying to deal with is some time to myself. To do the maintaining of the blog.

October 21, 2023

 Today I went to a firetruck pull and partake in the firetruck pull as well because of the the perth Special Olympics was it entered in, and I was going to help pull a truck that was probably borrow 30,000 pounds which is very awesome indeed that I did. I didn't think this was going to make it over there. It's going to rain today but luckily it did not have to rain until the very end, and it was very interesting to see where this was going to go here. There was four trophies, fastest pull, and then the best team name, and then the best costume and the slowest Pull.  We were stretching and everything just getting ready to get to pulling the truck. I knew that was gonna be some interesting things for the day they were going to do a lot of things and I heard copperhead Road being played by the DJ, which was pretty interesting I love that song copperhead Road!

And that's when I got my groove on and started getting ready to pull the truck towards my team. I was in my team Perth Special Olympics, but it was very interesting to actually pull some thing that was heavier than you, other than human body and see that you're actually going to go through with us. Usually you are entered into these vehicle poles via a gym or fitness membership I had neither one of them since I was born but I have been a strong little cookie for quite some time 34 years. I've been strong and flexible and been able to do a lot of interesting things. I was in the martial arts and I was into contortionry contortionry I'm still into contortion really is the art form of putting your body and strains positions dress to Add artistic flair to stretching. That's why I do a lot of stretching in the first place. Because it's also good for the mind as well as a spirit to be stretching. As well as it's interesting to see how it helps the body as well as mind and spirit. When I found out that the rest of the team was coming, I was relieved that I didn't have to pull the truck with a couple of other girls. You know I don't downgrade my own gender but still I was wondering what the hell we're gonna do and then the guys came in and thank God for that I was the first to lead the Paul and then I ended up getting help from everyone else behind me. I was literally in front of the truck afraid of getting smart, but thank God it wasn't getting smart day. This is just a polling day, and I wasn't certainly not my eyebrows it we're getting pulled.

When we realize that we were going to win the trophy, I realize that personally myself, and they said perth Special Olympics, and then I realize that when they mentioned as for the slowest Paul, I ended up having to do rock paper scissors to be the keeper of the trophy, which is just about the size or hide my iPad, which is very interesting.

When I came down to lunch, it was being paid for by the fire department because of our achievement, and the slowest pull, and was very interesting to see that the launch was on for free and I was able to get a chocolate bar, a hotdog and a orange crush soda. I love orange crush soda. I've never had it since I was a kid. I've always used to be addicted to the stuff, but never been able to get a hold of it since I was in the group home. Most of my addictions are taste face like an orange crush.  taste base like an orange crush Fanta and coffee and mocha's.   But I also have an addiction. The phone is not that kind of an addiction .But I also have an addiction. The fun is not that kind of addiction. I didn't think it was just more of an addiction of enjoying yourself and having a good time and trying your best. That's what I try to do in my life. And that's what I did today with the pull, with the help of my friends.

Now I am like Smigel, from lord, of the rings, where I have to be the keeper of the ring or the keeper of the trophy. That trophy is not leaving my room unless I show it to someone or if I have to go somewhere other than that it's not going anywhere without my eyes on it. Which is pretty interesting to be the keeper of the trophy is interesting and I'll show you that the trophy is kind of interesting. It's a fire man with a fire axe is very interesting to look at, and I am very happy to share. This is my first trophy ever getting anything for it.

October 22, 2023

A.m.

 Right now I'm not having the best of fucking days because of the actual issue of my iPad not charging or recharging it's kind of a pain in the ass to deal with, I've been awake since let's say 3 o'clock in the morning because of this and it's been driving me completely batty, instead I'd rather just check the fucking thing and just be done with it but I can't because it cost so much money but I would like the satisfaction I guess, throwing it out the window or not having to deal with it at all. That being said, I would rather not deal with this kind of shit again. I am sorry for my language, but that is beside the point I've been dealing with a faulty charger for quite some time and it's kind of annoying. Also, I was kind of earrings that I keep waking up at the same time of the day 4 o'clock in the morning for some Frick the reason that seems to be the time when I get woken up naturally, I don't know why are around 330. What would be the witching hour which is not my cup of tea.

Then I would see a very unusual, repeating number and angel number if you want it because it would just keep repeating itself and it will always constantly say that I am doing better and stuff but I'm not too sure about that. I know I'm doing better both otherwise everything I'll just show you what I had to see. It's very unusual. The last time I saw a needle number was 24 hours ago is very unusual to see them and it's kind of creepy and unusual. If you ask me I don't like creepy an unusual unless it's through horror, movies or horror novels. Being told that I am going to be manifesting something that I want in the first place is kind of strange I know I have heard about manifestation. Where are you manifest? What you want to happen to come true. But that is the side the point that is so strange !

As you can see, this is very upsetting to me to me because every time I get a angel number it's kind of strange the last time I got an angel number I don't know what it said but it was something positive but as I said, I'm not used to positivity is the saying that a Lotta good things you're gonna have a Lotta good changes and stuff which is kind of strange for my taste of positivity. I am not used to this all the time. And I am not used to waking up at 3 o'clock in the morning just to deal with a goddamn iPad or whatever else is going on in my life . And I've been having some really funky dreams. I'm gonna start doing a dream blog one day and it'll be this where I have been dealing with a lot of dreams that are unusual and off color. 

They had to be said I am very unusually strange Dowd by this batch of dreams. I have been having her either version of the order, something a little unusual, either way, I don't really enjoyed is having these weird dreams the kind of psychedelic the last time I could've sworn I saw the devil in the form of a female flight attendant, which was kind of strange. I will tell you that right now, and I did not enjoy, having to wake up in the console myself telling me that I was gonna save her place at the time it was not my cup of tea to say Elena it safe to go out of your bed, or go out at your house!

These are on usual am I losing my mind? No I'm not, but I am just saying that these are very unusual things that have been happening to me early early in the wee hours of the morning. I don't know what to make of this, but it is kind of unusual. There are some good parts, but as I said, and convinced that I saw the devil, Lucifer was kind of strange when I don't even believe in him, because he is not a naturally occurring, or she is not a naturally occurring. I am is kind of unusual for me. 

So that being said, I don't know what my dream was last night it might come to me and if I do, I will be writing this down in my dream journal but anyways, this is what I have to deal with from time to time and it's kind of a pain in my ass to begin with!

Why a flight attendant would be the devil I don't know why but the size that's kind of strange, but I don't know how my mind works, it is a confusing and creative brain, but it is unusual, nonetheless to say that this will be the devil, and that this will not be the devil. This is kind of strange for my liking. I will be going to my job this morning or this afternoon to clean and I'll be listening to classical music for the most part because that helps me calm down and relax and focus in on my task at hand that I can say is pretty good, but I am not too sure about this whole angel number situation. I don't mind the three digit repeating numbers, but when you get in the four digit repeating numbers, and one things get a little rare and unusual. That's the kind of thing I have to deal with from time to time usually happens once in a while 1111 or otherwise. Or something to get that sent but when I was 4343 that was when I started picking my nose and wondering what the hell is going on here. This is not usually what I want to deal with in my life instead I want to deal with things that are a little bit more usual. I don't know if it's an Asperger's thing or a PTSD thing but it's just the way it is when I'm trying to deal with things in my life I just rather deal with things that I know are not as exotic or unusual. I think I might be deleting that particular app that keeps showing that amount of notifications because it's wigging me out. I know I sound like a freaking schizophrenic, but that is beside the point this is kind of strange when they believe in numerology and all this New Age stuff where the hell is the universe getting this idea that I am going to manifest something that is something that I want in the first place to happen nice kind of strange what is it where who how  you don't give it the 5W's I've had it because I'm kind of an usually strange that I wake up at this time of day and I have to go and then my stomach bugs the shit out of me because it's hungry and stuff it's not my cup of tea. I'll tell you that much and it's kind of not my idea of a good morning and then I have to wake up again because it's time to go to sleep , instead I'd rather just deal with this kind of thing like this kind of thing I mean the idea of trying to just trying to fall asleep and never mind the actual thing so I do have insomnia because of PTSD but this is kind of getting ridiculous and stupid if you ask me. And when I deal with these angel numbers it sweeter but that's beside the point I'm just hoping for a better day I know the days gonna be good but that's beside the point I'm gonna be making my final 20 dollars for this tattoo I'm getting number 66 from the Halloween flash drop something that I didn't even think I'm doing before and I want to have this one tattoos that I have an annoying I will show you if I have a picture of it. It's of a tarantula legs with an a human eyeball. It's kind of interesting.

Maybe that is what they are talking about manifesting because that is kind of the only thing that has been on my mind lately other than that I don't really see what is so different. I've been doing everything the same for the past four years and so I moved to my group home, so that's strange, it Hass to be the tattoo. If you ask me it is a tattoo that is Wiseman a fasting I think that's the only exotic thing in my life right now other than that, I don't see you very much differences in my life.

Is unusual but hey, it's a good thing that's happening with these are angel numbers, so why should I look a gift horse in the mouth? I just wish it would wake up at 8 o'clock in the morning instead of the fucking 3 o'clock in the morning, which is kind of unsettling for me, but that's beside the point a good thing is a good thing I guess.

Late A.M.

 I finally slept in today. I was pretty good. But the worst part of it was that I nearly missed my pills this morning because I was sleeping in. Other than that I am pretty good. I had breakfast and enjoyed myself watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer as well as getting some new sunglasses swap sunglasses with a friend today which was pretty good. I don't know where my interesting sunglasses came from. I think they came from my first set of aviators, which were pink and then it started off with a collection. And now I'm with the fashionable sunglasses, which is pretty good. My friend had a whole bunch just like me and was able to give them to me right away. That being said, I'll show you what they look like.

Soon enough

When I realize that the day was going to go well except for the fact that it's raining out so I couldn't really take these on a test drive so that was kind of a pain in the butt for me but doesn't mean I can't take them for a test, drive all the time because I do have a right. That being said, I am very happy to say that I didn't fall asleep in the morning and my iPad started to recharge itself right away without me cursing and swearing. Thank God. Are there is something occultish about 3 o'clock in the morning anyways, that's kind of the god-awful thing about 3 o'clock in the morning and when I wake up from a weird dream but I did not have some dreams that I don't think I had. I did I think they were very usual going into the spirit world and otherwise. I was going  walking around in my dream, but not in avoid or anything else. Avoid meeting adore play soon as you're an actual like play so I think I was going to a store. That being said, I still feel like I'd like to go to sleep because of the just of the sheer tiredness of it all I really should get back in my reading, even though I have been trying to read and stuff like that which is good I should get back into that, so that's good and I'm also watching a movie and a TV show that I have a dog Siri what is Casper, the friendly ghost with the girl going to the haunted house as well as I am watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer a little more about Buffy the Vampire Slayer in bit.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer I've been watching since I was in third grade. It's very interesting to see where the third grade will take you on your own at all even though I have graduated high school I finally remember the third grade very well. As it was the spirit of Halloween all year round, and there is also an interest in spiritual paranormal at the time dad sent me all the course where I am now. That was a former ever in my life the third grade, which is very important to