The Bi-Polar Kid

By Kody Lincoln Martin

Before I became ill and entered the twilight zone for the first time which was the Roundhay Wing, a ward for people with mental illness in Leeds. Well I did used to work, not just with my Dad, Ive worked and been loads of things, from being in the fruit shop to Next Menswear, Wardrobe Menswear, Winerites, Beatties, Square on the Lane, Yates, Asda, window fitting, building sites, Kays catalougue, Warehouse, Pleasureland (Southport), all kinds of things Ive tried.
I must admit, I never settled anywhere, always shifting, moving from one pickle to the next, I never stayed in a job for long, I just couldnt do it. Im sure it was part of my bi-polar and other conditions looking back now, jumping from one thing to the next was a pattern of mine it would seem. Anyhow, I still tried to work.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Oct 9, 2013
• ISBN: 9781491880463

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The Bi-Polar Kid

Kody Lincoln Martin

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AuthorHouse™ UK Ltd.

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Bloomington, IN 47403 USA

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© 2013 by Kody Lincoln Martin. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 10/03/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4918-8045-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4918-8046-3 (e)

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1

What am I? Where am I? Who am I?

CHAPTER 2

Western Australia

CHAPTER 3

My Old Man Vince

CHAPTER 4

Lets Kiss the Sun and Taste the Motherfucking Rainbow

CHAPTER 5

The Carter Apartments

CHAPTER 6

The Round

CHAPTER 7

Broken Heart

CHAPTER 8

Limboland

CHAPTER 9

Winking and Wanking

CHAPTER 10

Probation

CHAPTER 11

Protection Luke 10:19

CHAPTER 12

Geoff Thompson

CHAPTER 13

I am only water but at different temperatures

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G star—Garry Wearn

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Mick the Kick and Kody

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Mick the Kick, My Old Man Vince and Kody

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Mighty Mike, Kody and my Niece Sophie

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Danny, Tony and Kody

CHAPTER 1

What am I?

Where am I? Who am I?

What the hell? Wow if anyone has ever done L.S.D? (Trips), acid. This is how I already feel right now. I’m six years old living on a Council estate in Formby, Liverpool in a place called England. On a planet called Earth apparently, which is in the Universe which is part of the multi Universe somewhere in the solar system. The big pickle is I am scared to death, what am I doing here? What am I? Where am I? Who am I?

The topography feels all wrong for me! What is this place? I’m six years old, six and already feel confused. Did I ever have a chance?

I’ve just finished school, Woodlands Primary in Formby, which is next to my Auntie Judy’s and Uncle Wally’s gaff, I go there every day because my Mum is working.

At this point, I have no knowledge that I even have a father or a brother. My Auntie Judy and Uncle Wally have four children, Michael, Christopher, Fiona and Heidi. My cousin Heidi had problems as a baby with her thyroid gland, she was also deaf, bless her, as a child, which the doctor’s did not detect, which incurred her to have a few problems as a child which would travel with her into adulthood such as speech and learning.

I don’t know what it was but even at that age, I felt very protective of her and we became very close. I knew somehow at that age, that even then it was harder to care for someone than not, which I kept with me for life. I had built it into me that it was easy to hurt people but try and heal them, that’s a challenge. Who knows, I suppose the spirit of God has always been within me along with Buddhism. God bless Heidi, my other cousins were cool but me and Heidi had a special bond and it was evident to everyone, you could see and feel it.

Even at such a young age, I felt very capricious, I always had a lot of energy, always my mind racing, fast, fast fast! I also felt very alone and in a way not complete, like a piece of the jigsaw was missing!

My Auntie Judy said she could always see me from her kitchen window, usually fighting with other kids at my school like kids do, I don’t recall starting any of them though, not that I am saying I was a Saint either. I suppose it was just a part of me from a young age this fighting thing, which later on in life would actually act as a vice that saved my life from so many suicide attempts, even though I tried it many times from the age of 14 but obviously I wasn’t committing myself enough otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this now. Useless, about as much use as a chocolate fireguard I am, oh yes I developed quite a dacnomania with myself later in life and nothing worked ha!

Well it’s in the hands of God apparently there is a plan for us all, including me, oh dear!

Now this part is going to be hard for me to write as it’s a confession that has been buried inside me for so long but has acted as part of the fuel that fires me apart from my severe mental health.

At about the age of 8, I was subject to some sexual abuse on the estate where I lived by a boy a bit older than me which I never told anyone about. It’s hard to go into detail about what happened but it did happen. I think as a kid you think it’s part of playing around, I don’t know, I don’t have the answers to many questions. A couple of other strange events happened to me when my Mum and i moved to Australia, I was 10 when we moved from Liverpool to Oz. I think in a way I became desensitised.

Later on in good old life when my bi polar, schitzophrenia and personality disorders got out of hand, so did my hypersexuality which is mainly connected to the bi polar, which I will go in to more detail about further down the road. All I can say is I fucking detested most things, experiences and situations it put me in, especially when my gonads sweled up to the size of an abnormal onion giving me chlamidia. Dear me, at one point, I was at gum clinic in Leeds hat much they nearly gave me my own room, I swear!

This all added more fuel to the fire, all jokes aside, that fire that has been burning in me since I was a kid. Has anyone ever thought about the fact that did I have a choice to be even born? You know what choice did I have or millions of other people. I was a cause of my Mum, Elizabeth Sutcliffe and Vincent Hatton getting together and having my and my dear brother Leroy.

I mean there was no button to be pressed saying I want to be born and to be perfectly frank with you all 90 percent of the time, I wish I hadn’t been born. No way, if I had a choice, I would have said leave me here where I am not that fussed about experiencing planet pickled earth"! Yeah which comes with no manual, no instructions… . just a load of horrible feelings and confusions for me most of the time even in my sleep if I do manage to sleep! What a treasure eh? Double shift of shit!

You see people with bi polar are so sensitive, so tuned in, so acute especially on a manic episode, it’s like people see colours, well bi-polars feel them.

Has anyone seen the film Leon? When Leon takes Matilda upon the roof top to learn her how to shoot a mark from distance, he says to her now get in tune with the runner, feel him breathing then at the right time, squeeze the trigger . . . . it’s kind of like that for me. I can see peripherally everywhere. I can even count bird’s wings flapping as they fly in the sky. Things become not just objects but something more, like everything is living, breathing, talking to me.

Now getting back to been in Liverpool, as a kid been born with this bi polar, although I got diagnosed at 20, I had some strange things happen to me as a kid. I would sometimes after school at my Auntie’s go inside for a bit and then go back to my school which was just over the fence and play by myself in the leaves and stuff as kids do even though I was by myself and even though I was by myself, by the time I was about 7, I can vividly remember looking round one time at the road where cars and buses were going past, a bus stopped to let people off or on but there was this character on the top deck dressed all in black with black hat on just like out of the comic Mad Spy v’s Spy, staring at me to the point where I got goosepimples and felt very unnerved indeed, it wasn’t right, like I was been watched. Already I was experiencing paranoia and hallucinations or was I? To this day that image is still engraved in my mind, there was something very very different about it. It left me feeling very chilled and scared.

My Mum would pick me up when she had finished work and we would go home. I would have some tea and then I would be out on the street with my mates playing kick the can or Spot with the ball or playing tennis wit our rackets. Or we would be all at what we called the Gassey which was like a bit of wasteland turned into a bit of a BMX track. I always remember coming home and changing my clothes maybe up to 6 times on the night, bizzare.com!

On the estate where we lived we were all together, it was like a great little community. Other stange events started to happen. I remember one night I was on top of mate’s garage, Paul’s, it started thundering and lightening and I can only explain it this way, I was upset and crying and I could see what I found out later in life something to the effect of the Grim Reaper, strange.com again!

My Mum got me a dog, a boxer dog, I called him Marty. I loved my dog so so much. He became my companion in my lonely times that I felt. Dogs I felt comfortable around and I knew I was in sync and could trust them.

From about the age of 8 is the first recollection of me knowing I had a brother, my dear brother Leroy who is 4 years my senior. We had a bond, it was me and him when we were seldomly allowed to see one another. I can remember at even such a young age, this larger than life character. My brother would bring my Mum a box of Milk Tray etc. and would bring me a present but more than presents, he was there for me. I didn’t feel so alone when we could see one another but he would only be allowed to stay for a few days and he wasn’t allowed to come that much. In fact I only have a few childhood memories of me and him. I remember pining for him on a night when I felt sad and alone and I just wanted my brother with me. I ended up crying myself to sleep many nights and my Mum never knew.

You see we got split up as kids and because my brother was a handful and then some, my Mum couldn’t cope so she told my Dad to meet her on the motorway to collect him and that