Stupid Liberals: Weird and Wacky Tales from the Left Wing

By Leland Gregory

Leland Gregory's 17 previous humor collections with AMP are all in print and all are staples on the humor backlist, including Stupid American History, which was a New York Times best-seller, and Stupid History, which has shipped over 130,000 copies. Silly, shocking, weird, and hilariously funny, the one- or two-paragraph anecdotes that comprise Gregory's new anthology of stupid things said and done by American liberals--politicians, citizens, journalists, professionals, workers, anyone who stands to the left of center--are culled from print, online, and broadcast media from all over the world. Here's a sample: 

* Residents of Longmont, Colorado, voted to abolish all "Dead End" signs and replace them with "No Outlet" signs. The local citizenry felt the "Dead End" signs were too unpleasant.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Apr 10, 2012
• ISBN: 9781449422066

Book preview

Stupid Liberals

Addled Ads

The Seattle Times placed an article in its real estate section explaining that it is obligated under the Fair Housing Act to warn potential advertisers to refrain from using words or phrases that hint of tenant preference. The red-flag words are:

Adult

Bachelor

Couple

Family (as in perfect for family)

Mature

No Children

One Person

Retired (housing for the elderly is considered)

Sex (may be acceptable in advertising for roommates)

Single

Two People

Christian

Executive

Handicap (as in not suitable for—but OK for handicap accessible)

Integrated

Membership Approval

Mentally Ill

Religious

Religious Landmark (near St. Peter’s, the synagogue, the mosque, etc.)

Older Persons or Senior Citizens (housing communities designed for elderly may be acceptable)

Physically Fit Person

Private (private community is a big no-no; private drive is fine)

Race

Restricted

Senior Discount

So, basically, ads for homes should read as follows: For sale—house.

Stupid Liberals

A Friend Indeed

Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel’s. It will be a strong friend of Israel’s under a McCain . . . administration. It will be a strong friend of Israel’s under an Obama administration. So that policy is not going to change.

Barack Obama, Amman, Jordan, July 22, 2008

Stupid Liberals

Solo Act

One member of the University Planning Committee voiced concern when the University of Pennsylvania announced mandatory racism seminars for all their students. She said she felt mandatory seminars were unconstitutional and said she had deep regard for the individual and my desire to protect the freedoms of all members of society. A university administrator sent the note back to the committee member with the word individual circled and in the margin had written, This is a RED FLAG phrase today, which is considered by many to be RACIST. Arguments that champion the individual over the group ultimately privileges [sic] the ‘individuals’ who belong to the largest or dominant group. Using this rationale one can no longer say She’s a real individual but instead She’s a real part of the group.

Stupid Liberals

Looking for Loopholes

Rachel Maddow: That’s why we don’t have to worry about the Antichrist until after the rapture?

Tim LaHaye (co-author of the Left Behind series): That’s right.

Maddow: Takes a load off my mind.

The Rachel Maddow Show, MSNBC, March 2, 2009

Stupid Liberals

Driven to Distraction

On April 6, 2006, Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.) was busy proposing bill after bill, from S.B. 2577, making duty free all Golf club driver heads of titanium, each with an aluminum hosel insert and a plasma welded face plate, to S.B. 2335, also removing the duty on Basketballs having an external surface other than leather or rubber. In the spring, a senator’s fancy lightly turns to what he’s been thinking about all winter—outdoor sports!

Stupid Liberals

A Real

Scare Crow

I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares [sic] of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required.

Sheryl Crow, explaining her view on environmentalism, USA Today, April 23, 2007

Stupid Liberals

The Name Game

In July 1997, according to The Associated Press, trustees of the Miami University of Ohio decided their team’s nickname, the Redskins, wasn’t politically correct, so they decided to change it. Some of the suggestions were the Poodles, the Politically Corrects, the Spitting Camels, the Fighting Intellectuals, the Toasted Rolls, the Miami Pacifists, and the Miami Gentlemen. One suggestion would put an end to future controversy over the school’s moniker: The Miami No Nickname. The trustees finally decided on the Miami RedHawks, which they remain today.

Stupid Liberals

Good Heavens

Jim Gay American McGreevey, the governor of New Jersey who resigned in 2004, after admitting to an extramarital affair with another man, tried to turn his