Brown Eyes - The family dog sees everything

By Frances Ive

A watchful eye as a marriage falls apart. The phone call, the rows, and the split are all observed by the family Labrador. He knows the habits and senses the moods of his beloved family members. Seeing them unhappy and hurting each other is unbearable.  Where did his perfect life go?

 

Her marriage to Phil in crisis, two children at the challenging teenage stage, and a close friend in peril, Meriel's world is falling apart. She finds solace in the arms of another man, but is this the answer for her?  It is her stubbornness that threatens the family's future together, until a major loss has a life-changing effect on her. A sliver of hope returns.

 

Like a fly on the wall, Benji the dog sees it all.

 

Narrated by both the dog and Meriel, Brown Eyes is written by the author of Finding Jo and Give and Take with a Capital G & T.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Five Press
• Release date: Jan 21, 2024
• ISBN: 9781739976804

Book preview

In memory of Benji

FOREWORD

Animals are sensitive creatures and pick up on the mood of the people they live with. It struck me when we had a Labrador how affected he was by what was going on around him. If there was an argument he hid under the table, if any of us was upset he looked unhappy, but of course when we were joyful, he loved it.

That’s when I had the idea about a dog watching everyone in the family and seeing what was going on. This fictional story is written from two viewpoints, those of both Meriel, the main woman, and Benji the Labrador. It is not my story, but he was my dog.

1

Like a fly on the wall. From the inside out. The heart of the family. The only one to see it all.

Benji

My perfect life is under threat. I have always thought my life was very good and that I lived with the best family in the world. I don’t know a lot about people, but I am very well treated and everyone in the family loves me. Obviously, I love them too and I would do anything for them, but life has completely changed.

Something happened last night and I don’t really understand what it was, but I know that something is very wrong. There was a terrible row last night and Meriel was horrible to Phil, but I think he might have deserved it.

I think there is a huge problem. I am a very sensitive creature, and I can hear it in their voices, see it in their faces and feel it in my body. I’d just drifted off to sleep and I could hear that ring ring noise but no one was answering it. Then I heard Meriel in the next room saying,

‘Who’s there? Who’s there?’

I sat up. Meriel sounded desperate and then she threw that thing she speaks into on the floor and collapsed on to the sofa. I leapt out of my bed, jumped over the pile of papers on the floor and moved up close to her. She was crying and there were wet tears all over the place, which I tried to lick. They were very salty. I put my paw on her and cried too. What had happened – was she ill?

She touched me to reassure me but still she carried on with this crying and a kind of low moaning like an animal in pain. I think I fell asleep again, because when I woke up it was quite cold and she was lying on the sofa still. I was curled up right next to her.

I could hear his car and he walked in furtively and switched on the hall light. He took his coat off and quietly removed his shoes. I started to bark and he whispered loudly,

‘Be quiet. It’s only me.’

I was so pleased to see him that I rushed up to him as he opened the kitchen door. My tail was wagging so hard that I was banging the fridge door loudly.

Meriel was awake by then but was still slouched on the sofa. Phil walked into the lounge towards the sofa as if he didn’t know she was there. Of course, he can’t smell her like I can. He clicked on the light.

‘Meriel. What are you doing?’

He looked at the empty bottle and looked towards her. Her face looked really red.

‘What’s the matter love? Why are you up?’

I sensed a very strong atmosphere that I didn’t altogether like. There was so much tension in the air that I could feel it in my skin, and I didn’t want to be there. My tail dropped between my legs and I looked from one to the other.

‘Had a good time I suppose?’ she said in a slurred voice that’s nothing like her.

‘No, just routine you know. Just arguing with these contractors down at Plymouth.’

‘Really? Did they feel good? Did they?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You know what I mean, you lying bastard. You know what I mean.’ She sat up and slumped forward.

‘You’ve been in bed with someone else. I know it.’

‘Don’t be so ridiculous. You’ve had too much to drink.’

‘And you think having too much to drink makes me incapable of knowing the sound of my filthy husband’s voice when he’s shagging someone? Who was it? That tart in the office? That one who’s always got different blokes. Are you one of them? Are you in a long line, or does she love you? That bitch?’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Philip, I know what you’ve been doing. Will you stop denying it?’

‘Denying what?’

She picked her speaking thing up from the floor and hurled it at him and it hit him hard on the arm. His face contorted – maybe he thought that she was mad.

‘You rang me, you rang me, and I heard it all. What are you some kind of sadist? You wanted me to hear you.’

Phil’s face changed as if he had just seen a ghost.

‘I can explain.’

‘How do you explain infidelity? You can explain it in court.’

‘Now come on Meriel. Be reasonable. You haven’t wanted me for ages. What is a man supposed to do?’

‘Oh, so that’s it now. It’s my fault, is it? Very clever, of course everything always has to be my fault, doesn’t it? It takes two you know Phil. I’m not putting up with it for a moment longer.’

‘What do you mean by that?’

‘I want a divorce.’

‘What? For an infidelity – one?’

‘One what? One time, or one woman? I don’t believe a word you say. You’ve probably been doing this for years.’

I couldn’t stand this anymore so I turned round and walked slowly out of the room. This was not going to improve and I can’t bear hearing them tear each other apart.

‘I’ll talk to you when you’re sober Meriel. This is ridiculous. We have to resolve it for the sake of the kids.’

‘You should have thought of that before. I’m not resolving anything. It’s too late.’

She almost fell off the sofa, pulled herself up and staggered upstairs. Phil came over and sat by my bed. I was a bit torn, because I knew he’d upset her, but he is my master, so I tried to look neutral. It was hard for me to believe that he could do something awful, but surely, they couldn’t be apart. Who would get custody of me?

He stroked my head and said,

‘I’ve been a complete fool. I don’t know what made me do it, but you know Benji perhaps I’m weak. I just couldn’t resist it when she came on strong but I don’t want to lose everyone, even you.’

I tried to let him know through my eyes that I felt overwhelmed with love and sorrow.

In my normal life, which happened before this, I can be happy every day provided I get a walk. It doesn’t matter whether it’s raining, snowing or horribly windy I still love it because the open air is full of smells and sounds that make it so exciting. I especially love the beach and being able to run in the water and out again and meeting other dogs there and swimming.

The countryside is full of other interesting animals that I sometimes watch, and, I have to admit, I sometimes chase. Birds are everywhere but the other day I saw one that walked really slowly and had lots of pretty coloured feathers. I often chase foxes because I don’t like them, but they always get away. I wonder what I would do if I ever caught one.

I used to be able to get up to a rabbit and once I picked one up, but my mouth is very soft, so I didn’t hurt it and Meriel made me put it down. So now I just look at them and watch to see if they’re going to run away or not. They remind me of cats and I don’t want to get scratched.

For some reason all of the Stevensons get very cross when I run off to see other dogs. I just can’t control myself because I smell them and see them and I all I want is to play with them and sniff them. Even though I hear them shouting at me, something in me ignores them because I want to play so much.

We’ve got a cat at home and I can tolerate it but it’s not very keen on me. The house we live in has a nice straight lawn where I lie in summer and at the end of the lawn are a few trees that give me plenty of shade on hot days. In the summer the house has lots of red and pink flowers growing around the front door, and I love the smells.

It’s a quiet street with lots of people who all seem very friendly and at the back is this wonderful park that leads into a football field and then some woods. I just love it there.

2

Meriel

I’ve never felt like this before. I suppose I’ve prided myself on being a good listener and spending many an hour going over and over my friends’ problems. People have such complicated lives, and I have been guilty in the past of feeling a bit smug that mine was so good, so simple.

What a mistake. It obviously wasn’t as good as I thought it was. I must have kidded myself and overlooked our lack of affection, lack of touching, and that we don’t ever talk to each other properly about anything that isn’t mundane routine stuff, usually about the kids. It’s so easy to carry on a life thinking it’s all fine, but when do Phil and I ever spend time together? I think we’ve forgotten who we are. I can barely remember that guy I fell in love with – it’s so long ago, that it feels like another lifetime.

Of course, some of this seems normal because so many of our friends are in the same boat. Some of my girlfriends plan to leave their husbands or partners when the children are eighteen and I wonder if they will. It has always struck me as extremely sad, but now out of the blue I’m in this situation.

I noticed my cup of coffee and it had gone cold. I had to start work again soon. I said I’d do this project at home but I’m not doing anything but mooning around feeling miserable. If it weren’t for the fact that I have always given the impression that we are love’s young dream it might be a bit easier. How do you tell people that you and your husband who are so ‘happily married’ are splitting up, that he’s run off with some young girl?

I realised that the phone was ringing. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone.

‘Hello.’

‘What’s wrong?’ Tania asked. She knew me so well.

‘Nothing. I just don’t feel well, that’s all. I’ve taken time off work because of my stomach.’

My voice didn’t sound like mine, and now I was even lying to my best friend.

‘You sound really miserable. Everything else is all right then?’

‘Yes, of course it’s fine.’

Why was I doing this? Why couldn’t I tell my friend? I’m so Mrs. Perfect that I just could not admit it.

‘Do you want to come over for lunch next Friday? You don’t work on Fridays, do you?’

‘No,’ I couldn’t think of an excuse quickly enough.

‘That’s fine. Thanks.’

Benji

I love it when we go round to Tania’s house because Meriel always takes me, and their retriever is really good fun. It was one of those early spring days which are cold at night but warm enough for them to sit on the patio sipping cups of tea and chatting. I caught some of the conversation when I wasn’t running round with Tanzy.

Meriel didn’t look like she normally does. She had nice clothes on but under her eyes was all black and there were little lines all over her face that weren’t normally there. She kept opening and shutting her mouth like a dog trying to catch a fly, and puffing and blowing as if she was running.

Tania looked much slimmer and had a very tight top on again that accentuated her breasts, and her jogging pants didn’t come down to her feet and looked very tight. Tania used to be quite a large lady, but she was now top heavy with huge breasts and a slim bottom! I think human men like that.

‘Once again you look pretty good Tania. This trainer chap must be good for you,’ Meriel remarked.

Tania laughed like a puppy.

‘He is.’

‘So, is he good looking?’ Cathy asked.

‘He’s gorgeous,’ Tania said. She looked like Elly, Meriel’s daughter, when she’s talking about some pop star.

‘Is there something you want to tell us?’ Meriel asked.

‘What do you mean?’ She was taunting them. There must be something to tell.

‘You seem very vibrant.’

‘It does me good. He does me good. In fact, I just love being with him.’

‘Doing running and playing tennis?’ Meriel said, but she looked as if she might laugh, which was of course an improvement to how she’s been lately, in some kind of hell.

‘Yes of course. That as well.’

‘As well?’ Cathy almost shrieked.

‘As well as what?’ Tania sniggered. She was enjoying this.

‘Just enjoying his company.’

‘Is he available?’ Meriel asked.

‘Well yes and no.’

‘What do you mean?’ Cathy intervened. She kept smiling too.

‘He is single if that’s what you mean.’

‘Yes, but does he have anyone permanent?’

‘No. Why are you asking?’ Tania smiled, in a knowing sort of way.

‘I think I’m getting a very strong impression