A Frustrated Person's Thoughts: to living presently

By JaDonna Williams

These are finished and unfinished thoughts of a high school girl. The world around her made her feel powerless. Was that the reason she remained silent? Voiceless? She eventually learns she has power but is unsure how to use it. These were the endless and not so much endless thoughts that went in and out her mind. She's struggling to recognize her presence/her present self because her future self and past self are consuming her somehow.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: May 1, 2022
• ISBN: 9781411601017

Book preview

A Frustrated Person’s Thoughts : to living presently

By JaDonna Williams

A Frustrated Person’s Thoughts : to living presently

@2022 copyright JaDonna Williams

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 9 781411 601017

Before we start…

I need to let this person free.

They are trapped.

They felt voiceless.

These are their thoughts before ‘21.

Some of these are finished thoughts.

Some of these are unfinished thoughts.

Feel free to read this in any order or feel free to read it how it is.

Dedication to :

Trey, Lailah, Laila, India,

Jada, and Ruth.

"For being the greatest friends,

A black girl could ever have!"

- JaDonna Williams

AGE 15

I was addicted to it.  Just let me be.

I was going through a phrase.

I’m not being an addict.

Roxie you were the best.

Becky I didn’t like you but everyone else liked you; they were into you.

Kitty, you made me feel indestructible.

I didn’t know how to leave without you.

Unfortunately, I had to throw you guys all away.

You built me up but at the same time you brought me down.

I just had to let you go.

AGE 16

This is beautiful.

This feels like heaven on earth.

If I were to die peacefully , It would feel just like this.

The taste is something I can’t really explain.

The steam. The hotness mhmm…

The crispness of the chicken gets stuck in between my teeth.

I’m fine with leaving it there. Because I just want to have a reminder of this moment.

My stomach is unsatisfied when she doesn’t get to have this type of food.

All of you and your stomachs are unsatisfied.

Without my mother’s cooking.

My mom’s cooking was good and great when I was growing up. But 4 years ago ever since she got this job her cooking has been Ah-mazing every time.

I’m pretty sure you all have had amazing food from some 5 star restaurants but my mom's cooking is different.

She puts all of her love into the food.

My tastebuds light up.

My stomach grumbles in satisfaction.

My heart glows.

My mind thinks about how her chicken is cooked.

The chicken isn’t undercooked.

The chicken isn’t overcooked.

The chicken is cooked to perfection.

And it is made with the most love.

I remembered the day it changed.

It’s when she had cooked some Ackee and sailfish.

I sit in class hollering or crying throughout the day because I miss her meals.

I bet you all are hungry.

I hope you all join us for dinner someday.

Oh mom , I know you and I don’t get along that well but I just want you to know that I love you but most of all , I love your cooking.

AGE 17

Coronavirus Nightmare 3/9/2020

It was a stormy night.

Everywhere was dark.

The rain was coming down hard.

My supervisor lit up in the dark.

She sat across from me yelling at me JaDonna , did you go to the doctor? Do you know how much time you have left since you got Lyme disease ?

In my mind I didn’t know what was going on but my mouth had responded and said Three days. I was in utter shock. I didn’t  know what to do.

Until she said we’re letting you go.

I was so hurt she didn’t give me any time to think or feel.

I’ve worked with this lady the whole summer.

How come she didn’t have any feelings or reaction to me dying she just left.

And I ran home.

It was dark, it was black.

The rain was very scary.

I got home when I saw the breaking news.

The news said that Westchester County was on lockdown.

I screamed in my head.

I was thinking well "how am I going to tell my family this?'' The power was out and the lights were out.

The only thing that was on was the light of the tv.

The only other people in the house were my mom and my little sister.

She hid under the covers; she was half human and half cartoon, it didn't make any sense.

She was scared, shaking, saying Jada what were we going to do? We were out of food and water.

I didn’t know where our mom was in the house.

My sister sounded older than a 6 year old. She sounded like she was 12 but looked like a 6 year old because she is 6.

Whoa, I said that number way too many times.

My mom came in with corona beers I didn’t understand .

Why the hell did she do that? Since neither of her kids could drink that.

It was scary.

I didn't really see my mom’s face, just her