Mom: A Celebration of One of the Four Basic Guilt Groups

By Cathy Guisewite

Cathy is like a longtime friend who shares the same fears and frustrations as most women: the frightening sight of too-tight swimsuits in a dressing room mirror, the relentless call of the refrigerator, and men who are never quite right. This gift book features one of Cathy's most popular subjects: Mom. This is a cartoon soul mate. Readers will find comfort, solace, and lots of laughs.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Feb 5, 2013
• ISBN: 9781449413811

Book preview

Contents

Introduction

The Psychic

The Clipper

The Genius

The Dreamer

The Body Double

The Spark

The Action Figure

The Mother of the Potential Bride

The Miracle Worker

The Clone

Introduction

I look across the table into my mother’s beautiful eyes and see a thousand things.

I see that it’s taking all her strength to keep from leaping up and helping the waitress clear the table.

I see how much she wants to run back into the restaurant’s kitchen and wash the pans.

I see that she’s worried about the busboy’s tired arms, the cashier’s tired feet, and that it’s all she can do to not take the rest of her meal out to that nice young man parking the cars.

Mom in a restaurant is like a single guy at a party. Her eyes are always busy.

Who’s here?

Who might need me?

Who has a spot she can’t get out?

Who needs a dab more mashed potatoes?

Who has a loose shoelace?

Who can’t read the menu?

Who needs a button fixed?

Who needs a tissue?

Who needs a shoulder?

Who needs help with the door?

Who needs directions to the rest room?

Who needs a compliment?

Who needs his faith restored?

Who needs a friend?

Who needs a husband or a wife?

Mom’s radar extends so far beyond me. She’s so many people’s mom besides my own. A multispecies mom. She’s takes in every stray animal. Drives injured birds to the vet. Carries bugs outside to be reunited with loved ones. Apologizes before squashing an ant.

She travels with as much as she can possibly carry of what everyone might need. Band-aids. Glue. Tape. Eye dropper. Paper clips. Sewing supplies. Ink remover. Travel iron. Nail polish. Pliers. Sunscreen. Thermometer. Juice box. Amphibian food.

Her purse is like a 15-pound rescue van.

Her mind is like a purse. She has everything in there. What to do if the child at the library gets the hiccups. Who to call if the park bench has a rough spot that might give a splinter. Where to find a map of Paris at midnight in Toledo. How to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe. What to say if a complete stranger looks a little bit sad. What to write on a note that will change someone’s whole outlook on life.

She lives to help, to fix, to advise, to cheer, to uplift, to encourage, to feed, to humor, to heal. She’s a friend, a therapist, a nurse, a guide, a saint.

Everyone, but everyone, loves my mom.

Me, she drives crazy.

The Psychic

"She knows when you are sleeping

She knows when you’re awake

She knows