At Rika's Whim: An Inside Look at Being Married To A Dominant Woman

By Ms. Rika and Geo

"I am not a submissive; I'm Rika's Submissive". Geo, Ms. Rika's husband and lifestyle submissive, describes his commitment to serving the woman who literally ‘wrote the books’ on Service-Oriented D/s. In his own words, he details what it's like to dedicate one's life Submitting to this naturally dominant woman. Geo shares his real life experiences, taking us back through relationships before Rika; contrasting those power dynamics with submission "at Rika’s whim". Join him as he describes the day-to-day service he provides, the motivations behind his submission, and the differences that make Ms. Rika unique. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to serve Ms. Rika - Read this book.

After reading the book - and maybe finding some parallels to your own experiences - Geo hopes you realize that he's not a unicorn; he's not a mind-reader; he's not abnormally selfless, and he's not a weirdo; that it doesn’t take any of those things to live to please your Goddess. He's unique, but not rare. He's just a man with an internal drive to submit – who got lucky enough to find the right dominant – one who would never allow him to drift from her vision of what he could be as her submissive. One who had the strength to insist on submission that focused on her preferences and expectations.

Geo tells us that life under Rika is unpredictable, challenging, frustrating, maddening, exhausting, and sometimes even a bit painful. It also happens to be exhilarating, enlightening, joyous, sexual, satisfying, and immensely fulfilling.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Sep 17, 2023
• ISBN: 9781312114357

Book preview

Foreword – By Rika

When I was thirteen, I tied a neighborhood boy in my garage and refused to let him free until he peed himself. He had started it - taunting me the way kids do at that age - but I finished it. It took 4 hours, until eventually, nature took its course and the stain of embarrassment spread across his trousers. I untied him; he cried and ran home. I tingled. I didn’t know what I was feeling. It wasn’t sexual. But I felt a rush of power…and I liked it. It wasn’t a defining moment in my life, but it was a memory that stuck with me – even now, 47 years later - and reflects what has always been my natural tendency towards dominance.

My mom and dad raised me differently from other girls my age. I was taught to be self-reliant, confident, and assertive. When it came to sports, my dad made sure I never would hide my strength or speed, particularly to save some boy’s ego. He taught me to compete on an equal playing field. He taught me to believe I could. I was, what was called in those days, a Tomboy – but, to me, it wasn’t anything special. I just was as good as, and often better than, the other kids, regardless of gender. I saw no reason to hold back and I wasn’t going to let anyone tell me differently.

Because I was a strong athlete – and loved sports, I had far more male friends than female friends. I just gravitated towards guys. I have always understood guys better and spent a lot of time with them. I had little interest (or patience) for what I saw as trivialities that my girlfriends found important. Guys have always been clear to me.

In my teens, my body changed, but remained athletic (which is a euphemism for saying I’m fit and toned, but on the flat-chested side). Initially, I was a bit awkward and self-conscious about breast size, but my mother (who is built the same way) came to the rescue. She refused to let me get introverted. She also got me started in Martial Arts (she is a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Sport Judo). Sports, again, became my social circle. Being born with strong legs, a high proportion of quick-twitch muscle, and a broad athletic frame was an asset, and I excelled.

Then, things changed. Boys started to become interesting to me in a more sexual way. More fascinatingly, I started to become interesting to the boys. I started getting a lot of attention. I started to date. I had my first kiss.

My girlfriends were experiencing the same phenomenon, but they viewed guys as mysterious creatures that needed to be caught. They raised guys on pedestals. They dressed to attract them; they played mind games; they fantasized together about the most handsome ones --- and they waited to be approached. They hunted by luring. Mostly, they competed against each other…and waited.

I saw guys in a different light (and still do). I’m sure it’s because my world was their world for so long. I didn’t see brooding confidence; I saw confusion and conflict. I recognized that they were trapped between their desires and their insecurities. Really, guys are quite simple - they can’t help themselves: They desire – and yet, are tasked by society’s influence to control that desire. They wear their desires on their sleeves - if you take the time to look. If I’m what they desire, that makes them vulnerable to me. Call it the competitor in me, but I cannot resist the urge to leverage that vulnerability. I wasn’t going to wait - I took control…the playing field was, once again, level – if not tipping towards my sideline.

My attitude wasn’t for every guy – some were embarrassed to yield; some felt threatened; others were dominant themselves…and that all was OK with me. The result was that, guys with whom I connected, found strong, independent women desirable. These guys tended to either know they were submissive or easily could be. I was introduced to the role of the dominatrix early on.

My boyfriends tended to be a little older than I, and were often already experienced being tied, whipped, teased, humiliated, beaten down (the Judo helped), and bossed around. I went along with it because I enjoyed creating and leveraging their desire. I enjoyed the game.

As I continued to date through college, I led in all my relationships – and was dominant in most of them. A couple of years after college, I met a man at a work party who, later, I took as my husband (Geo). We hit it off right away. He was funny, handsome, intelligent, talented, respectful, and a little charming (he still is). We had a few dates; hit it off; and it quickly became apparent that he too, wanted to submit. I was happy to accept him.

The largest turning point in our lives – the day we decided to get married – also turned out to be a pivotal time from a D/s perspective, as well. Geo told me that he wanted to submit to me, 24/7, in a lifestyle arrangement. I was totally into the idea, but at that point, we were mostly doing BDSM sessions, mostly revolving around kinks. I was not interested in, and could not imagine, having scenes 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I also did not want to be obligated to do what he wanted all the time. That was OK for playtime, but for lifestyle, it needed to be more real – and it needed to be about me…the one being served. We would need to change the nature of our power dynamic, if it was going to be something I could live with – potentially forever. It was this decision point that was the birth of my approach to dominant-centric submission.

There were no dominant-centric submission books at that time. The only references for power dynamics were porn, and…well…more porn. These were created by men - for men, and had men at the center of the action: Sub-centric. I was left on my own to define dominant-centric submission.

For some women, defining submission that truly suits them; that is targeted solely at their happiness; is a difficult task. I’ve worked with many dominant women who hit complete mental blocks when asked to articulate what will please them. Invariably, they would choose things that, at the root, made them happy either because of how it pleased their partners, or that fit the stereotypical role. They wanted to be a good dominant, which sounds noble, until you think about what that means: Who gets to measure your ability as a dominant? Whose happiness is determining the quality of your dominance?

When your sub is judge and jury, you aren’t the one being served.

I wasn’t struggling with that issue. To me, the questions that needed to be answered were: Is my sub being a good submissive? How does his submission make me feel? Does it satisfy ME? What can he do to improve his submission? To make those assessments, I needed to clearly understand what made me happy – and be able (and willing) to articulate that to my submissives - and expect it - so that he would have the chance to deliver against it.

My husband, Geo, was the catalyst for this change. We weren’t sure if it was going to work. He became the guinea pig. We worked through the issues together and grew the amazing dynamic we enjoy today. We’ve been able to expand that approach to create a methodology that’s been successful with numerous couples around the world. I’m very proud of that accomplishment (and hope to have more success in the future!)

As many of you know, I’ve written several books about service-oriented D/s relationships, and have shared the methodology with thousands. All this time, Geo has remained in the background. He does not maintain a social media presence…not even a FetLife account, but his input is present in everything I’ve done. I’ve gone on record as saying that much of my insight into the mind of the submissive, has come from his generous openness and ability to express what goes on between his ears. I’m grateful for his intelligence, common sense, and wisdom.

By publishing this book, we will add his perspective to our narrative. I think submissives will strongly associate with his experiences, and hope that dominants will gain some insight, as I have. I hope you find this book to be an enjoyable, as well as enlightening, read.

I now turn the creative reigns over to Geo.

Love,

Rika.

Introduction

I’m not a submissive; I’m Rika’s submissive. Every dominant is different; every dynamic is different. Being Rika’s submissive is an experience unlike any other. I’ve been told I’m the luckiest man alive. Honestly, I often think I just might be.

Since 1987, I’ve had a relationship with this woman, who has fulfilled my every dream; taken me to places I’ve never believed I could go; and challenged me to realize who I really am and what I truly need. Ironically, none of what she’s given me is what I believed I wanted before I met her. However, it is, without question, what I need most.

She didn’t just do it for me. She’s changed the definition of dominance and submission for hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people – challenging the stereotypes of the BDSM lifestyle, and creating an approach that works for both everyday folks and seasoned power couples. Not a day goes by that someone isn’t sending her a note or a personal message, telling her how she’s changed their relationships for the better.

Rika has turned the traditional stereotype of power dynamics on its ear. She has changed the focus of dominance and submission to center around the dominant – rather than the submissive. She has created a practical, doable, and highly fulfilling approach that works in a very real way. She developed that approach with me. I was the experimental canvas, test pilot, and canary (that survived). She instilled my trust in her, helped me get in touch with my most inner motivations, and strongly encouraged me to introspect, dig deep, and share what works and what doesn’t.

I’ve heard our critics. I am not a unicorn. I’m not some mythical guy who gets all his satisfaction from catering to a dominant. I’m a guy who has always had kinky wants and desires. I don’t believe that a happy life is about give, give, give, but I have found that truly fulfilling submission IS about giving. It’s about giving your focus and dedication to someone other than yourself. And when you get what you like, you’re grateful – but you are never expectant.

I’ve had submissive fantasies as far back as I can remember. My dreams have always revolved around all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful women. Growing up, I equated the visceral reaction I would get by just seeing women, to weakness. If a girl walked by and I got an erection that I had to hide under my desk, I felt that she was deliberately, and knowingly, creating the feeling in me. I knew I wasn’t in control of my body; and deduced that she must be.

Even from the age of 6, I grew up with those fantasies flashing in my mind. I would wrap myself in my sheets to feel the compression of bondage. I masturbated to thoughts of bowing before powerful goddesses; long before I could even have an orgasm. I recall that stimulation at that early age (10-12), was a combination of pain and pleasure. Dry pre-orgasmic spasms were painful – and rubbing my penis a little bit raw had effects that would last hours afterwards. In my head, the women of my fantasies knew this – used it – created that pain. They were forcing me to stimulate myself beyond my comfort. They knew exactly what they were doing. They could read my mind. They could sense exactly what I was feeling and reveled in the control they had over me.

In my mid-teens, I started to learn that there was a name for what I was feeling. In those days, it was B&D (Bondage and Discipline), S&M (Sadism & Masochism), and D/s (Dominance and Submission). They hadn’t pieced it all together into today’s conflation called BDSM. I related to all of these. I read as much as I could about these subjects.

In those days, there was no internet: No Pornhub,

Reviews for At Rika's Whim

[david.euro.machinery · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Very repetitive and nothing new to the other books of Rika, you read 1 you read them all. Don't bother