The Twelve Disastrous Dates of Christmas

By Katie Holland

Emily is known for two things, her honest take on life in her column Everything Emily and her love of Christmas. When her boss gives her a new Christmas themed assignment, she's both intrigued and apprehensive. For the month of December, Emily has to go on twelve blind dates related to the Twelve Days of Christmas song. Her biggest question abou

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kingston Publishing Company
• Release date: Nov 24, 2023
• ISBN: 9781645334675

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Copyright

The Twelve Disastrous Dates of Christmas is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

THE TWELVE DISASTROUS DATES OF CHRISTMAS: A NOVEL

Copyright © 2023 by Katie Holland

All rights reserved.

Editing by KP Editing

Cover design by KP Designs

Published by Kingston Publishing Company

- www.kingstonpublishing.com

The uploading, scanning, and distribution of this book in any form or by any means—including but not limited to electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the permission of the copyright holder is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized editions of this work, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

Table of Contents

Copyright

Table of Contents

Dedication

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31

32

33

34

35

36

37

38

39

40

41

42

43

44

45

46

47

48

49

50

51

52

53

54

55

56

57

58

59

60

61

62

63

64

65

Epilogue

Epilogues…

Author’s Note

Extras

About the Author

Also By the Author

About the Publisher

Dedication

To Angie, who’s spirit of Christmas lasts all year long and spreads to everyone she’s around.

1

I looked at the calendar and smiled. December was just a little over a week away. The closer it got to my favorite month the happier it made me. As soon as December 1st rolled around it was Christmas 24/7 for me. I decorated every square inch of my apartment, played Christmas music and only watched Christmas movies. Most of people thought I was crazy, but I didn’t care. In my opinion nothing was better than Christmas in New York City.

Emily, my boss called from her office, get in here.

Wendy was the editor for the online magazine I worked for. I was sure the best part of her day was yelling for me to go to her office. Rolling my eyes, I got up from my desk and walked the ten steps to her door.

Yes, Wendy.

Sit down. I have a new assignment for you, and I think you’re going to love it. It’s Christmas related.

That got my full attention.

You’re going to write a series of articles called The Twelve Dates of Christmas.

Oooh, sounds interesting.

There’s just one catch, well two actually. You’ll be the one going on the dates and every guy you’re going with will have something to do with the Twelve Days of Christmas song.

I sat there for a minute taking in what she’d said. I was a single woman in my twenties, so the dating part wasn’t a big deal. It was the part about the who of the date that I wasn’t so sure about.

Explain that last part.

You know the song, on the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree.

Yes, I know the song, Wendy. What I don’t understand is just how exactly we find a guy with a partridge.

Wendy started laughing at me. It’s not going to be that literal. This is the best part, Emily, your readers are going to find your dates. They’ll send in submissions for each of the days of the song, the magazine will vet them and set up the dates. Are you up for this?

Do I have a choice?

She laughed again. No. It’ll be fun. 

Twelve blind dates doesn’t sound like fun, I said. At least we’re planning the dates.

I didn’t say that.

But … I started to say.

I said we’ll be setting them up. What you’ll actually be doing on your dates will be chosen by the guy.

Do I have any say in this?

Not if you want to keep your job.

Fine. When does this start?

I’ve already put the call out for date submissions. Readers will have until the end of the week to send in their choices. Your first date will be December 1st.

What do you need me to do now?

Keep writing your daily articles and the day after each date you’ll write about your date.

What if the date isn’t so great? How honest do you want me to be?

As honest as you normally are.

Are you sure? I asked her.

Yes. We won’t be using any real names so give your readers what they’re looking for.

That made me smile. My column was known for the flat-out truth on whatever it happened to be about. Maybe this assignment wouldn’t be as bad as I was imagining it was going to be.

I went back to my desk and immediately picked up my phone. My best friend was going to have a field day with this. I typed a quick text.

Me: You’ll never guess what my new assignment is

Lacie: Tell me

Me: I have to go on 12 blind dates for Christmas

Lacie: Lol. Sounds like the Christmas song

Me: Well …

Lacie: Are you serious?

Me: Completely

Lacie: Wow, I can’t wait to hear this whole story. Drinks at Lola’s tonight?

Me: Yeah. See you at 5.

Knowing I still had a column due today, I opened up the file I’d been working on before I was called to Wendy’s office. Today’s edition of Everything Emily was about my thoughts on Black Friday versus Cyber Monday shopping. 

My columns were typically five hundred to a thousand words, so they never took that long to write. When I was done, I emailed it to Wendy and started looking for my next column topic. 

I normally got to choose what I wrote about, so I usually tried to pick something that was trending or seasonal. Since Thanksgiving was just a few days away, I decided to search for something interesting or unusual about it. After about an hour of searching I’d come up with nothing. I put my head on my desk to stop myself from screaming. 

Everything okay, Emily? 

Looking up I saw Madison leaning on my cubicle wall.

Yeah, I just can’t find the right idea.

Maybe I can help, she said with a smile.

I returned her smile. She was always good at cheering me up.

And how do you propose you can help?

Let me buy you a coffee.

How is that helping?

It might not help at all, or it might help a lot. Come on, what do you say? She stuck her tongue out at me.

Fine.

We took the elevator down to the main floor of the building. The Perfect Cup Coffee Shop was the main source of my caffeine so of course they knew me by name.

Hey, Emily, one of the baristas said with a wave, what can I get you today?

How about something that reminds you of Thanksgiving.

She smiled. I know just the thing. And for you? she asked Madison.

Just a large black coffee please.

I wrinkled my nose at her as I handed the barista my card to pay. Black coffee? Really? Yuck.

What do you mean yuck? she asked. You drink their coffee all the time.

Sure, flavored coffee, Frappuccino, iced coffee, anything but black coffee, I said, with a fake shudder of revulsion. 

I think what you mean is anything with lots of sugar.

Guilty, I said with a smile.

Your drink is ready, Emily, the barista called to me. Try it, I want to see what you think.

I took a big sniff of it before I tried it. I could smell coffee and cinnamon. That in itself was a great combination so I couldn’t wait to try it. The first sip was like heaven flowing over my tongue. I recognized white chocolate but there was one flavor that was eluding me.

This is fantastic, I told her. So, I know it’s got cinnamon and white chocolate, but there’s another flavor that I just can’t place. You have to tell me what it is.

Pecan, she said with a smile.

Really? It’s like the perfect Thanksgiving dessert all rolled up into one cup. Does it have a name?

No, and we don’t sell it normally. I usually just make it for myself.

We definitely need to give it a name. How about Chocolate Pecan Delight?

She smiled. Oooh, I like that. Thanks!

Anytime.

Madison and I went to find a table.

So, she started, what had you ready to curse like a sailor at your desk?

I laughed at that. My question first. Since when did you start drinking black coffee?

I want to lose a few pounds for the Christmas party. I have my eye on a cute sparkly dress that would be perfect.

I rolled my eyes. Like you need to lose any weight. You look great already.

It was Madison’s turn to roll her eyes at me. Thanks for the compliment, but I’m not exactly a size six.

Whatever, you’re beautiful.

Anyway, back to my original question, what was up with the fit at your desk?

"I can’t figure out what to do for my column tomorrow. I wanted to do something about Thanksgiving, but not the usual dinner or traditions. Everything Emily is known for out of the box ideas." I took another sip of the coffee and moaned.

Madison chuckled. It must be really good.

It is.

Maybe that coffee can inspire your column? Just enjoy it for a while and see what happens. At the very least you’ll just sit and relax with a good cup of coffee.

What are you working on? I asked her. Madison was the Entertainment writer for the magazine.

A review of the latest military action movie and the newest novel by M. J. Layne.

Nice, I love his books. What are you doing for Thanksgiving?

Going to my parent’s. They do up a huge spread. I swear mom makes enough food to feed everyone on the block.

I could tell she enjoyed going. Where do they live?

Just outside New Haven, Connecticut.

Did you grow up there?

Yes, my parents still live in the same house I grew up in.

That’s cool.

What are your plans? Madison asked me.

Nothing really. Probably just hang out with my best friend again. Eat a bunch of junk food and watch Christmas movies.

You don’t go home for Thanksgiving?

No, Christmas is the big holiday in my family. We go all out on Christmas day.

Does your family live in New York?

Yeah, we moved here when I was little.

Where did you move from?

Ottawa, Illinois. It’s a small town about an hour southwest from downtown Chicago.

I bet they did Christmas like a Hallmark movie.

That made me laugh. Maybe a little bit. I don’t remember it very well.

Madison drank the last of her coffee and set the cup down. So, has this helped you at all?

I sighed. Unfortunately, no. I still don’t know what I want to write about it.

When is your column due?

Tomorrow by noon. I have a feeling it’ll be down to the wire on this one.

Picking up my coffee I stood and headed out the coffee shop.

Thanks for the mental break, Madison, I told her when we got back to the office. I needed it after my meeting with Wendy. My new assignment is going to be challenging.

What is it?

I told her about the blind dates.

You’ve got to be kidding. I shook my head. Wow. Just know I’m here if you ever need an excuse to go get a coffee.

Thanks, I said sarcastically.

I bumped into someone as I got off the elevator.

Sorry, I said automatically.

No worries, a deep voice said. It was Matt, he was the Local Events writer. He smiled and walked down the hall.

Madison chuckled as she walked back to her cubicle. I went to mine and plopped down in my chair. Opening my laptop, I was hoping a fabulous idea would come to me.

Did I just see you come back with Mesmerizing Matt?

I looked up to see Tami, the magazine’s receptionist, peering over my cubicle wall.

No and don’t call him that.

Come on, Emily, his face is mesmerizing, you don’t want to look away, she giggled.

Yes, Matt is good looking, but I’m not a fan of that name.

Tami shrugged. Whatever. So, are you two like dating now?

No, I was having coffee with Madison, and besides my personal life is none of your business anyway.

Whatever, she said again and went back to her desk.

She was the third receptionist we’d had in as many months. I wasn’t sure if Wendy was terrible at hiring them or they couldn’t take working for her. Either way, I mostly ignored them unless they made it past the two month mark.

I was willing to admit that Matt was very handsome, but I knew nothing about him. He was quiet and mostly kept to himself. His articles were always entertaining. I learned a lot about the city from his column. 

Focus, I muttered to myself. Think, Emily, think.

Taking a sip of the heavenly coffee I started typing random words related to Thanksgiving.

2

Lacie waved at me from a corner table. Lola’s was halfway between our two apartments, so we usually met there.

Hey girl, rough day?

I can’t believe Wendy did this. I mean, I knew she had a mean streak, but this takes the cake.

Tell me everything.

She sipped on her fruity drink and listened intently. Her expressions were almost comical. If this had happened to anyone else, I’d probably think it was funny.

Maybe it won’t be so bad, Lacie suggested.

The look I gave her would have sent grown men running. It just made her laugh.

You’re looking at it all wrong, she told me. Think of it as twelve unforgettable Christmas experiences. You never know, you might find your soulmate.

I doubt that, but maybe you’re just a little bit right. I need to go into this with a better attitude. It could be fun. I’m actually really curious about how the guy is going to relate to the Twelve Days of Christmas.

Lacie grinned. Me too. I hope your readers are really creative and intelligent. I’d hate for you to end up on a chicken farm.

My face dropped when she said that. Oh my God, that could actually happen. I cringed at the thought.

I’m so looking forward to the next month, Lacie said. This is going to be so much fun.

Or the worst month of my life.

That’s what will be the fun part.

I threw my napkin at her. Some friend you are.

You love me, and you know it.

Yeah, yeah.

She laughed and we started talking about one of her co-workers that drives her crazy.

A couple hours later I was walking home when my phone rang. 

Hi mom, I answered.

Hi my darling Emily.

She was overly cheery, and I was immediately suspicious.

What do you want, mom?

You know me too well honey, she laughed. I think you should come home for Thanksgiving.

Why? We never celebrate Thanksgiving at your place. You and dad usually go to Grandma’s, and I hang out and watch cheesy Christmas movies with Lacie.

Bring Lacie too.

Mom, I warned, what is going on?

Grandma and Bill decided to go on a cruise this year so your dad and I thought we could have dinner at our place.

Okay, that still doesn’t explain why you want me there.

Well, we have a new neighbor about your age. He’s single, very handsome and we’ve asked him to join us for Thanksgiving dinner.

I rolled my eyes. She was always trying to set me up.

No, mom.

But honey…

Mom, no, and I mean it. I just got an assignment at work that has me going on twelve blind dates in three weeks. I think that’s enough for a lifetime. You are not setting me up on one for Thanksgiving.

Oh, that sounds exciting, tell me more.

Hearing me tell her that I was going to be dating was enough for her to forget about setting me up with the handsome neighbor.

I gotta go, mom, I told her as I was unlocking my apartment door. I need to find something for dinner and figure out what to write for my next column.

Okay honey, talk to you later.

Bye, mom.

I hung up, put my bag on the couch and went to the kitchen. After looking in the fridge and opening and closing a few cabinets, I knew I was going to have to order dinner if I was going to eat. I really needed to get some groceries.

I made a quick call to the Chinese place down the street and set up my laptop on the coffee table. Just as I was opening the Thanksgiving article, I felt something soft on my ankle.

There you are Snowbelle. What have you been up to all day my sweet little girl?

One reason I’d chosen this apartment was because they allowed cats. Being single it was nice to come home to something to cuddle with.

I picked her up and she snuggled into me with a small meow. I rubbed her head, and she started purring. I instantly relaxed. I let my head fall back against the couch and thought about my day. It had certainly been interesting.

I really didn’t know how to feel about the assignment from Wendy. I hoped it was going to be fun, but I had a nagging suspicion it wasn’t going to go as well as I wanted it to. Regardless of what happened I knew it was going to be great for my column.

Still not knowing what I wanted to write my column on, I decided to head over to my Instagram account. I scrolled through for a minute or two when I had an idea. I found a random picture of a Thanksgiving cornucopia online and posted it with the caption ‘What’s your favorite thing about Thanksgiving?’. Since I had over two hundred thousand followers, I was hoping someone would comment with something that would help me figure out what to write.

Just as I finished that my doorbell rang. That meant my dinner was there. Chan’s was always fast and always good. I grabbed my wallet and went to the door.

Hey, Andy, I said.

Hey, Emily, here’s your order.

Thanks, I’m starving.

He laughed. I’m really looking forward to reading your column tomorrow.

It was my turn to laugh. He said that every time he delivered my food.

Thanks. I handed him enough money for the food and a nice tip.

See you next week, Emily.

Yeah, probably, I admitted.

He smiled and I closed the door. It said a lot about my life that I was on a first name basis with the Chinese delivery guy.

My orange chicken, chow mein and egg roll smelled divine, and I actually heard my stomach growl. I grabbed a plate, dumped my food on it and went back to the couch. 

This is so good, Snowbelle, too bad you can’t have any.

She meowed, gave me a dirty look and went back to cleaning herself. She was the cutest white fluffball, but she certainly had enough attitude sometimes for three people and five cats.

After I finished eating, I went back to my Instagram account to see if I had any responses. I was surprised that in less than an hour I already had over a hundred and fifty comments, hopefully at least one of them would spark an idea.

It didn’t take long to get bored with comments about pumpkin and pie and football. Grabbing the remote, I turned on the TV and smiled when I saw a new romantic Christmas movie was just starting. It took a lot for me to change the channel once Christmas movie season began. I pulled my feet up under me, put my article out of my mind and got lost in the story of the royal prince playing a regular guy.

I felt a whole lot better after watching two strangers fall in love. My stress was gone, and I was ready for bed. I had a feeling that stressing out was the reason I couldn’t come up with an idea and the morning would bring a whole new day with a whole new outlook.

3

By the time I sat down at my desk I was ready to take on the world, or at least write a fantastic article. I realized I was overthinking what to write about and decided to just tell my readers how I planned on spending the day. An hour later I emailed my column to Wendy and decided to celebrate with a coffee.

My favorite barista was working so I asked her to make that little bit of heaven that she made me the day before. She handed me the cup of deliciousness and I took a seat by the window and watched people walking up and down the sidewalk. 

I loved being in the city, especially at Christmas time. Storefronts with amazing displays and a dusting of snow on the ground. It was perfect as far as I was concerned. Lost in the world of wondering what people were doing and where they were going, I jumped when my alarm went off when it was time for me to go back upstairs.

As I was headed back to my desk, Wendy waved me into her office.

I wasn’t sure what to think of the grin on her face, sometimes it was good and other times, not so much.

The response to the Twelve Dates of Christmas has been phenomenal, she told me. We’ve received hundreds of submissions for potential dates. I figured this would be popular with readers, but I had no idea it would have so many responses. I’ve had to hire an outside company to look into your potential dates.

I wasn’t really sure what to think about the whole thing. Either people were really into Christmas, or they wanted me to fail miserably. Most likely the latter.

Aren’t you excited? Wendy asked me.

Honestly, I’m a little nervous. Sure, I’m looking forward to seeing what the date will be, but I’ve been on some bad dates and if the date goes bad thousands of people are going to know.

That’s the beauty of this, you have no idea if it’ll go good or bad. Regardless, it’s going to be interesting.

That made me chuckle. That’s for certain.

Well, that’s all. Send me your next three days worth of columns and I’ll see you after Thanksgiving.

Luckily, I had already had something in mind for my next few columns or I would have lost it in Wendy’s office. She had great business sense, but sometimes her lack of communication drove me crazy.

When I got back to my desk there was a cup of coffee from The Perfect Cup Coffee sitting on my desk with a little note that said ‘Happy Thanksgiving, Emily’. It wasn’t signed and I didn’t recognize the handwriting. Taking a sip of the hot liquid I discovered it was a caramel latté and it tasted fabulous.

I looked around to see if anyone was watching me, but everyone was hard at work. I really wondered who it was from. Madison was the most likely suspect, so I sent her a quick text.

Me: Thank you for the coffee.

Madison: What are you talking about?

Me: Didn’t you get me a coffee???

Madison: Nope, but now I want one. Lol. So, you got an anonymous coffee?

Me: Yes, caramel latté.

Madison: Yum. Mystery coffee is the best kind!

Me: Lol. I agree. I wonder who it was. Did you see anyone at my desk before I got here?

Madison: No, but I was focused on getting my columns ready for Wendy.

Me: Ok, I guess I’ll just enjoy it

Madison: That’s the spirit, now get writing girl!

I laughed and opened my laptop. My Thanksgiving columns were going to be easy to write. I had stressed so much about it, but after reading the comments from my followers on Instagram I had a lot to work with. The first bunch of comments were all about food, but after that some of them really made me pay attention.

It was surprising to learn how much people’s favorite thing about the holiday was seeing family. I had a lot of intelligent followers, and my Thanksgiving series was going to be a nod to them. I was planning on quoting them and using their first name. I really hoped they recognized what they said and were excited to see their name in my column.

After quickly running my idea by Wendy I went back to my desk and started writing. My hope was that people were inspired to see something new in the holiday and not just use it as a reason to stuff themselves.

 At 1:00 Wendy sent everyone home and told us to enjoy the time off. I packed up my laptop and headed for the elevator.

Have a good time, I yelled to Madison as we went our separate ways. 

I hailed a cab. I needed to go to the grocery store before I went home, or I was going to starve. After paying the cab driver, I grabbed a shopping cart and braved the store. I wasn’t the only one with the need for food because the store was packed. I really should have gone last weekend, but I hadn’t wanted to go out in the snow.

I had never been so glad to get home in my life. Everyone in the store seemed to be in a hurry and I was hit with a cart twice and someone even tried to take the apple pie out of my cart. Spending the next few days in my apartment sounded like heaven.

Even though I’d just spent a small fortune on food, I really didn’t want to cook so once again I called Chan’s and placed an order. Twenty minutes later Andy was knocking on my door. He handed me a bag that was way heavier than what I ordered.

I think you gave me someone else’s order, Andy.

He chuckled. No, Emily. Since we’re closed tomorrow mom was afraid you might starve so she sent enough food for a couple of days. Gotta go.

He started to walk away. 

Wait, you forgot my money.

It’s on us this time, Emily. Happy Thanksgiving.

Thank you, I called as he headed down the stairs. Happy Thanksgiving.

What a nice thing to do, I said to Snowbelle as I closed the door. "I’ll have to do something nice for them for Christmas.

Along with my beef and broccoli, Mrs. Chan had sent me egg foo young, chicken chow mein, sesame chicken and two containers of fried rice. That would definitely last me a couple of days.

I settled in for the night with my yummy food and another romantic Christmas movie.

****

Day two of my Christmas movie fest I actually got off the couch and decided to cook an actual meal. I made my mom’s chicken mushroom casserole. It wasn’t quite as good as hers, but it was edible.

You would have thought watching nonstop Christmas movies would have made me tired of Christmas, but it only made me want to do more Christmassy things. I wasn’t the most crafty person, but I felt like this was my year to learn. I went online and ordered a bunch of crafty stuff. I had no idea what most of it was, or what to do with it, but I was sure YouTube or TikTok would be able to teach me a thing or two.

Day three, I talked to my mom for a few minutes and told her about my need to do Christmas crafts. I don’t think I’d ever heard her laugh so hard in my life. I didn’t think it was that funny and hung up on her. She called back to apologize but I could tell she was still laughing at me.

Day four, I still had the Christmas movie channel on, and I also now had my craft supplies. It didn’t take long to have glitter from one end of my apartment to the other and I even managed to glue two of my fingers together. I decided to donate the rest of my crafty things to a local school because clearly, I should stick to writing.

As I went to bed on Sunday night, I was happy with the way I’d spent the holiday, but I was ready to go back to work and see actual people.

4

The next few days passed quickly and before I knew it, it was Friday. I was texting Lacie about meeting her after work, so I wasn’t really paying attention when I sat down at my desk. When I finally put my phone down, I was surprised by what I saw.

There was a small Christmas tree with one little ornament on it. When I looked closer it was a tiny partridge. I noticed a small note and quickly picked it up to read it.

Good luck on your date tomorrow. - T

I didn’t recognize the handwriting and ‘T’ could be