This Isn’t It!: When Every Day Seems Like Yesterday

By Dr. Zenesha R. Barkley

Loss can hit your life at any moment and can change the course of your life forever. This book will help you understand that no matter the loss that This Isn’t It! You can break free from “Yesterday’s” hold.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 20, 2023
• ISBN: 9798385002337

Dr. Zenesha R. Barkley

Dr. Zenesha Barkley, DNP, MSN, RN, CNE, CHEP is a “No Holds Barred" , unapologetic, writer, researcher, educator, and dynamic speaker who believes in walking fully in the authority that God gave her. Her focus and passion inside and outside of ministry has remained the same championing the least, the last, and the lost to Christ by inspiring and motivating them to walk in God's purpose and plan for their lives; while invoking them to reach their highest potential through empowerment, encouragement, and enlightenment. Her challenge for people is to always Speak Life, Speak Love, and Speak Hope.

Book preview

Copyright © 2023 Dr. Zenesha R. Barkley.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

844-714-3454

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0231-3 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0232-0 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0233-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023913053

WestBow Press rev. date: 07/11/2023

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1: Yesterday

Chapter 2: Today

Chapter 3: Tomorrow

Chapter 4: Living in the Moment

Chapter 5: Face Off an Encounter with Me

Chapter 6: Estimated Value

Chapter 7: Be Still

Chapter 8: The Importance of the Process

Chapter 9: Lessons Yesterday Taught Me

Chapter 10: Bring Her Back!

Chapter 11: This Isn’t It!

About the Author

DEDICATION

I have been working on this book since 2003. As

I began to write this book, I realized that I could

not have finished it any sooner. I had to go through

more things, get more understanding, and overcome

the pit of heartache in the valley of sorrow.

This book is dedicated to those who have lost something

or someone and it has affected the course of your

life. It is my hope that this book will inspire, uplift,

encourage, and give you the courage to go through

your process and walk out of the valley of loss.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I will like to thank God My Boo for helping me through my time of loss and for always being my rock to lean on. To my children William Thomas IV and Calista Barkley, who I love dearly, thank you for always believing that your mother can do anything and for your unconditional love. To my grandchildren La’Miyah, Zaely, and Ace Thomas, you have brought so much joy, laughter, and love into my life. To my mother Dorothy Williams, you are a blessing. Thank you for always believing in me and for allowing me to be me as I was growing up. Thank you for writing the featured poem; The Widow’s Story, at the end of this book.

To my siblings Jeffrey, Janina, and Lamar Walters, thank you for your love and support. A special thank-you to my nephew Reggie for giving me the courage to write this book. A distinctive thank-you to Jyoti Patsourakos for taking the time to edit this book and for keeping the essence of my voice throughout the book. To anyone who reads this book, I hope it will help encourage and inspire you to overcome the yesterdays of your life.

Chapter 1

YESTERDAY

H ow can I move on when everything that I cherish is gone? One moment in our lives can change every fragment of our being. I reflected. There I was, seven-and-a-half months pregnant, waiting for the most exciting day of my life to share with my husband, son, friends, and family. Time is something strange. It is something we cannot speed up, rewind, slow down, or stop. We are forced to live in it (the moment). The best or the worst thing about the moment is that we have little or no control over what happens. Whatever is happening in that moment determines whether we want it to end or remain.

As I was hanging up balloons, laughing and talking with my mom and sister, I was waiting for my soulmate, my godly man with whom I shared every part of my being, to come home. As I looked at my watch, it seemed like time was passing terribly slowly in contrast to my excited heartbeat. I realized it was taking too long to hear the sounds I had become so accustomed to hearing as he made his grand entrance every evening from work. But you don’t know what that sounded like. Let me describe it for you.

Gospel music played loudly as he drove up the hill of the driveway. When he paused his car to get out and open the garage door, his car door opened and closed, loudly (the hinges screeched like the breaks of a garbage truck). The garage door also caterwauled as it was being lifted. Once I heard the garage door open completely, I could hear the pounding of his steel-toe work boots as he walked back to the car. The gospel music still blasting, he would rumble his car into the garage. I knew he would always go through the front door, surveying the front of the yard and landscaping before entering the house, so hearing these sounds was my cue to excitedly walk to the front door to greet him.

But those sounds never came. I kept listening. A few more minutes passed. The doorbell rang, jarring my thoughts, and I briskly wobbled with my big belly and semiswollen ankles