Keep Thanking It's a Game!

By Estralida Woodruff

If God changed me, he can change anyone, if only you let him. See, the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. And my life's journey proves that. I thought I was in control, but the path God took me down let me know that I (you) have to have Jesus as my (your) Lord and Savior. But that's if you want to go to heaven after this life here on earth. I lived just how I thought I wanted to live. But down the road I realized that I have a choice, even in my mess. I was not satisfied; something was missing, and the reason I knew that was because I was a backslider. I knew the difference between the two lives (saved and unsaved). It seemed like the more I lived like I wanted to live, the worse things got for me. But God. I remember that all I had was the Word of God. So I started to apply the Word of God to my everyday living. I started to seek his face. I already knew his Word, so I started to pray every day. Seeing that my prayers were being answered made me pray more and more. Then I started to believe again, and then I started to receive again. God had his hand on me the whole time I was out there. I stood on God's promises, and I still stand on them today, because God is not a man who would lie. Now I am a child of God, and I know I am a chosen one. If you let go and let God be the head of your life, he will change you too. Please believe me.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Oct 10, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887634425

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

Book 1

Book 2

cover.jpg

Keep Thanking It's a Game!

Estralida Woodruff

Copyright © 2023 Estralida Woodruff

All rights reserved

First Edition

NEWMAN SPRINGS PUBLISHING

320 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ 07701

First originally published by Newman Springs Publishing 2023

ISBN 979-8-88763-441-8 (Paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88763-442-5 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Special Thanks to

Mes Monique Roberson

Book 1

It's been 7 years already. I call it happy birthday to me! My name is Estralida Woodruff, and this is my story. I was born shy, and 'till this day, I still am. Growing up as a kid was hard for me because I was number 4 out of my mother's six kids. I was not the baby nor the knee baby. I thought I was the child that everybody had forgotten about. I remember holding all of these feelings in and never saying anything to anybody about how I felt. I now realize that this was not the best way to handle things.

As a child, I remember my cousin Zoe Woodruff's death. At the time, I was only eight years old, but I remember them saying she was missing and didn't make it to school. We received a call the next day that her body was found one hundred yards from our grandmother's house where she lived. I remember saying to myself, If she had made it to school and said the Lord's Prayer, maybe she would be alive today. That was at the age of eight, and I knew about God at that age. Today I'm sitting at Pearson Hall at the age of fifty, forty-two years later, telling my story.

During the early stages of my life, I genuinely felt unloved. Kids would make fun of me because I didn't know how to dress or make myself look pretty. As time went by, my sister Jackie taught me a lot about being a little lady. Jackie wasn't just my sister; she was my best friend. I used to hang with her and her friends who were all older than I was. I would party with the big girls. They were in high school, and I was in eighth grade. We all had boys at other high school that we were friends with. We would meet them at games, double dates, and all the fun teen things. But we had to go to church first! There was a club that had teen nights on Sundays, but my grandmother would make us go to church in order to go out that night. I attended a party one night, and that's how I became pregnant with my first son, Dread Head. My mama and grandma were so nice and sweet to me and did so much while and after I was pregnant. I thought I was grown. I was partying more than ever—drinking, smoking, and partying Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Me and our friend Shenna.

We went to the club so much my friends and family started calling us House Cats. Sometimes Shenna, the bartender, the owner, and I were the only people in the club. In this club, I met the man I married. This same club is where I met my best friend Lisha. We hung out at the club and did a lot more together. She was like a sister to me. She would sit on the other side of the club, with her table next to mine. She used to like my cousin who didn't hang out at the club but would be at my mom's house with everyone else. My mom was sweet with a heart of gold. She loved my flaws and all. She was the sweetest lady ever. She treated everyone so well. She had a very sweet spirit, and also, she was the go to lady. If you need anything, you go to my mother and you will get it. I don't care what it was. She cooked big dinners every day. When everyone got off work, they came to my mom's house to eat because they knew that she had cooked. My dad worked in a still plant, and when he finished those sixteen-hour shifts, he'd be hungry, and all he wanted to do was to eat and sleep. There were times my mom would go to her friends' house to kick back. She deserved it because of the things she had done during the week for everyone and their kids. She loved all of her children and everybody else's. So my husband (at that time) and I were living with my mom and dad. For a while, we would pay my mom every week so that we and the kids could live there. Then after a while, we had moved in with his grandmother. She had a very large house, where there was plenty of room, so living with his people was great. His aunts and uncles were there. We got along great. He was a truck driver, and he would be gone for weeks at a time. The kids and I would be at the house waiting until he came home before we could get to go to the other side of town to see my family. Then that got very boring, very fast 'cause we just stayed in our room all day watching TV and talking on the phone to my family and friends.

I didn't like living so far away from my hood. Living with my husband's grandmother was just too far away from my friends and the club that I liked to go to. After so long, I moved back in with my mom and dad until we got a place of our own. With my husband working, we saved a little money, and a friend of mine wanted to sublease a house she was moving out of. I had a friend who would come and give me a shake bag because I loved the way the premo smelled. I would put it in weed and smoke it. So that's really how I got started. I learned a long time ago that God will not put more on you than you can handle. I learned that a lot of people could not take the steps that I did. Drinking and drugging is not the way to live, believe me! You are not even in control of your own thoughts, and a substance is in control of you. So off and on I used for a day or two, and I would not use for a while, then I stopped paying some of my bills. I would put a little something on the bill that would hold until next month. Then I just stopped and shopped, went clubbing, drank, and used drugs. Now no money until the next payday. Maybe it depends on what his paycheck would look like. Now we were down and out. So my sisere J told me to move into the apartments where she lived because we lost the house we were living in. It was easy to get one of the apartments. We moved in and were living like we were living. We didn't go to church. I know I didn't even pray until something happened, but I got tired of how I was living. So I said that I was going to change take out the house I was living in, had a New Year's party, went to church, and got saved. My husband at the time got saved one month later. We lived a saved, sanctified, Holy Ghost-filled life.

After five years, we renewed our vows and got saved on January 1. A new creature in Christ. We went to church, and I had cigarettes in my pocketbook and beer in the refrigerator that I gave to my ex-husband. I can remember I kept saying, Thank you, God, hallelujah! for the rest of the day. I stopped smoking, cursing, drinking, lying, and cheating. I wasn't doing anything but going to work and Bible studies, going out to witness God, going to church, singing and praising, and reading the Word of God every day (insert Matthew 4:4). Just like we eat food, we have to eat the Word of God every day. But then I started slacking on going to church, Bible study, and prayer meetings. Some of my old habits were right in front of me, but remember God is married to the backslider. And then.

But one month after I backslid, my husband at the time also backslid. All my old ways came back, plus, like the Bible says, when you backslide, each demon you already have brings on more unclean spirits. Now, I've picked up really bad habits. I left my husband and moved another man into our house. I'm not saying any of that was right, but it was what it was. In the year of 1996, I got two income tax checks. I caught up on bills and bought a Saab Turbo 900 stick shift that I couldn't even drive, but I liked the way it looked. This is the night I started straight shooting (this means smoking off the pipe). At first I was rolling crack in weed, premo. But I ran out of papers, and the closest stores were closed. My guy friend at the time was too high to drive anyway. He was already hitting the pipe, as they called it. When I ran out of papers, I asked him for the pipe, but he begged me not to. But me being who I am, I talked him into letting me because I had too much drug of choice, to just let it go. He gave it to me. I hit it and said, What's supposed to happen? What am I supposed to feel?'' I didn't feel anything, so I continued hitting it that night and still didn't feel anything. As the days went by, I bought more papers but continued asking for the pipe. I kept playing with it and saying, It won't hook me," but now I know better! It has no respect for people. Now at this time, my three kids spent most of their time at my mom's house. I was working at a gas station 6:00 a.m.–6:00 p.m. on Monday and 10 a.m.–6:00 p.m. the rest of the week. Most of the time my husband would be out of town. I would have friends over, and my husband knew our marriage was on the rocks. He would try to turn my kids against me. But I don't blame him because the way I treated myself and my family was not of God.

So then I was where I didn't want a premo; I only wanted the pipe. I was living in an apartment called the Hall. I paid the deposit on one apartment, and the rent office had given it to someone else. They asked me if I wanted to move into another one until they got another one ready for me. They let me live there rent free until they could find something better for me. I ended up staying here for a year (rent free). They never got the apartment ready for me. The apartments had no insurance and had to close down and relocate everyone including