Why I Did Not Die

By Roxana

WHY I DID NOT DIE  A BOOK ON A LIFE OF RESILIENCE; A LIFE OF HARDINESS; A LIFE OF PLIABILITY LESSONS TAUGHT THROUGH REAL-LIFE NEAR-DEATH INCIDENTS. FATE    LIFE & DEATH.    A SIMPLE CYCLE. FATE    ARE BIRTH & DEATH NOT PRESCRIBED?    IS DEATH NOT A SIDE EFFECT OF LIVING? FATE    ARE WE GIVEN MORE THAN ONE CHANCE, FOR OUR LAST DAY TO BE OUR LAST?    HOW DOES ONE CONTEST FATE? FATE    AFTER LIFE, DEATH HAS TO INEVITABLY FOLLOW.    IT IS SIMPLY WRITTEN. IS THIS FATE?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Sep 29, 2023
• ISBN: 9789948789475

Roxana

Roxana Jaffer, a passionate catalyst for positive change, leading with a heart, is devoted to making the world a better place. With a prestigious education from Harvard Business School and an MBA in leadership, she is a visionary in the hospitality industry, combining her expertise with heartfelt humanitarian efforts. Through her partnership with United Nation’s World Food Programme, Roxana has touched the lives of 517,325 undernourished children around the globe. Under her tutelage, her workplace hotel has earned the esteemed Arabia CSR Awardfor seven consecutive years. Roxana’s many achievements include being honoured with the “Most Influential Women Leader Award,” as she finds success in empowering underprivileged communities. As a founder of not-for-profit NGO: “abc: an advent for building human capital” (WWW. MYABCFOUNDATION.ORG), she has positively impacted the unemployed youth, resulting in helping over 70% of them find meaningful jobs. Her creative spirit shines through poetry, showcasing her resilience and spirituality. A PARALLEL WORLD (Amazon: HTTP://BIT.LY/PARALLELWORLD). Roxana’s journey is one of determination and compassion, leaving a lasting mark on the world and inspiring others to join the cause of positive change. Her creativity outpours in her expression of words, perhaps a result of the eight instances when ‘she did not die’.

Book preview

Testimonials

1. Barbara Becker: professor of strategic communication, Columbia university, NY; author and an Interfaith Minister.

Roxana has discovered the secret to the great existential puzzle that we mustdie before we die if we are to truly live. Through eight brushes with death, we learn in this remarkable book that she was elevated to ever-higher levels of consciousness. The result: wisdom, compassion, generosity, forgiveness and love. Roxana Jaffer has it all, and we can be glad she has shared it with us, her eager readers!

2. Professor Dr. Hillol Kanti Pal, alumnus of AIIM, neuro-Surgeon; author of four books on Surgery.

"To sum up in one sentence, Why I Did not Die is an actuality of the celebration of life. The reader finds it endearing to learn through the simplicity of Roxana’s thoughts and clarity of her memory of the kaleidoscope of life events as they unfold to make one richer. We are gripped as each celebration of her life unfolds. Why I Did not Die is a refreshing take on life, a variance to what we deal with in real life."

3. Dr. Sultan Kermally: author and academic instructor at University of Durham and University of Liverpool/Laureate.

Roxana describes experiences and near-death accidents in her life that resulted in pertinent outcomes. Her realizations after each incident lead readers to focus on their own mindset to make better life choices. This inspirational book presents to me the author’s relationship between her life experiences and her leadership style. The founder of Service Leadership Style stated that:Servant-Leader begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, then conscience choice brings one to aspire to lead. This book is recommended to those who would genuinely like to serve in profit and not-for-profit organisations – serving all in social and community groups. A valuable tool kit for those who believe in lifelong learning.

4. Dr Farouk Topan: Director of the Swahili Centre at the Aga Khan university. Lecturer at SOAS, London; research scholar and renowned playwright.

This fascinating book is about life – how to live it fully, gratefully, moment by moment, with ‘realizations’ for thought, action, tranquillity. Roxana’s powerful, intimate narrative stops us in our tracks! Makes one wonder: how would I have coped? She shows us how!

Dedication

Dedicated to those who travelled on my journey of LIFE

And those who learnt with me, the truths of LIFE

At every incident not only at the finale of LIFE

Copyright Information ©

Roxana 2023

The right of Roxana to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with Federal Law No. (7) of UAE, Year 2002, Concerning Copyrights and Neighboring Rights.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to legal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

The age group that matches the content of the books has been classified according to the age classification system issued by the Ministry of Culture and Youth.

ISBN 9789948789482 – (Paperback)

ISBN 9789948789475 – (E-Book)

Application Number: MC-10-01-3812695

Age Classification: 17+

First Published 2023

AUSTIN MACAULEY PUBLISHERS FZE

Sharjah Publishing City

P.O Box [519201]

Sharjah, UAE

www.austinmacauley.ae

[phone]

Acknowledgments

The learning attained at every traumatic incident described in this book has only been possible by the people that I was involved in at each chapter.

I take this opportunity to acknowledge each one, be they family or friend or passers-by on my journey.

I am indebted to each one of you.

Chapter 1: Age 3: In a Coma

My Parents: Rahim & Shireen;

Muni and other ‘Discarded’ girls of the orphanage;

Lataben and other staff of the orphanage;

My grandmother – my Nanima;

Dr Vaid;

Lataben and other Staff of the orphanage;

Chapter 2: Age 3 & Quarter: Kidnapping

Hijla (transvestite) group;

Fakir Uncle;

Woman-man – Laxmi;

Dr Anil Gupta;

My sister Anaar: nee Sayda.

Chapter 3: Age 9: Adoption

My Papa (adoptee father -my uncle, Kamrudin);

My Mota Mommy (adoptee mother – my aunt, Daulat);

The Judge; Dr. Jewell;

My ‘foster’ sister Deenaz;

My ‘foster’ brother Sajjid.

Chapter 4: AGE 18: Down the Roof Hatch in Mombasa

My class-mate Arthur Jones,

My girl-friend Nigar Adam;

Mr Jones – English literature teacher;

Staff at Aga Khan Hospital, Mombasa;

German patient – naval officer – at the hospital

Chapter 5: Age 32: A40 Motorway London

The police;

The doctors and staff @ Hammersmith hospital.

Chapter 6: Age 50: Ice-Caves of Werfen, Austria

My husband: Sadru;

Fellow cave tourists

My girlfriends: Yasmin, Annie, and Renu;

My sister: Shahina;

Handsome paramedics;

Anonymous lady doctor in the cave;

Staff of The Wellington Hospital, St John’s Wood;

My nephew Jamil Jaffer.

Ch 7: AGE 58: Indian Ocean Escapade

My husband: Sadrudin;

Our Friends: Fonzie and Shahida;

Rest of ’The Young Ones": Ri and KJ; Nimet and Jols; Tas and Azim; Isu and Shahnaz,

Life guards

Ch 8: AGE 60+: Emergency @ Al Zahra

My husband: Sadrudin

My sister: Deenaz;

My brother-in-law: Imtiaz;

Emergency room staff – doctors and nurses;

Dr. Humaa Darr;

Dr. Sandip Mitra;

Kezia Da Rocha;

Dr. Muharram Oner: Laparoscopic surgeon;

My brother-in-law in Toronto – Al-Nasir Dhanani,

Oncologist and specialist in Pakistan – Dr El-Nasir Lalani;

Preface

Roxana’s Soul Ponders

"As I look at Roxana from above at age three, a frail child losing consciousness for over ten days after being burnt accidentally, I flash through her life – book turning the pages, to her present day and ponder over her multiple experiences flirting with end-of-life instances and the turmoil she faced at several intervals in her life. I wonder why homo-sapiens come very close to these instances of death.

Is it to discover their soul, the soul that is timeless and omnipresent?

For Roxana, is it to discover Me?

ME: The pivot of her existence? Or are there other reasons?

Perhaps, the creator Himself directs human beings on a path of discovery? I must ask Him next time I meet Him.

For Roxana from age three to Roxana to age sixty -, her life-book has showed me eight instances, when I the soul, was sent to end her physical existence. And eight instances when I returned empty handed with her physical life intact.

I can’t help but wonder about this past-time God was playing with Roxana.

This past-time – if it was, for God – was a repeated cycle for Roxana in her life, of going through traumatic accidents, time after time reaching a threshold of seeing death closely, but returning back stronger and with another raised level of awareness; Yet her question remains, Why I did not Die?

Is there an ancient source of knowledge that unlocks when humans are up close and personal to an extreme situation?

Of course, humans attain the virtues of wisdom, comprehension, and understanding through the journey of life. Perhaps a virtue as indicated by Aristotle –it is evident that it is impossible to be practically wise without being good is the change that should come over on many who have flirted with death.

But at that moment – of watching the end approaching – I do believe, humans get to experience and understand the fragility of life and recognize of how transient life truly is.

How in one fleeting moment, it all can just go, just like a feather floating away in a strong breeze.

I, Roxana’s soul was being a little vain. I thought these instances in her life were to discover ME.

ME: Her soul.

ME: The fulcrum of her existence.

ME: Her permanent identity to eternity and beyond.

Perhaps the reason is bigger than just the discovery of ME, the eternal connection Roxana has with ME, or the finer knowledge she has to acquire in her lifetime.

Perhaps the reason is to bring cognition to all of the above and much more. To give Roxana God’s gift of duality, show her how to truly to see and understand life and live in knowing the profound sense of fate.

The dichotomy of life for human beings is the knowing that physical life can end anytime and to live each day with this thought engraved in the mind; or to disregard the thought that they can perish in a moment, disregard the thought that they are mere characters in God’s hands, mere characters playing a role in his theatre and continue life in a nonchalant way.

Once Roxana started to live with this understanding and that the choice was hers to decide on the path to take, she began to watch herself with a new set of eyes, and slowly the understanding set in deeper. When she understood that she had no real power, it made her strive to just ‘become’ and to accept God’s will. Contradictory as it may sound, this realization was the most important step toward creating the life she did.

I, the soul, look at her life and see her in front of me, blossoming from a mere tiny dot in the universe with millions of other dots to a tiny dot that has acquired a rhythm, moving with purpose, and a power of its own.

Is there liberation in knowing that one has no power in one’s life?

Dear God, is this the real reason why you are making Roxana encounter her myriad experiences? As I pondered, I asked myself, Will I, the soul, ever truly know?

What I – her soul – established, comes from what I see happening with Roxana, who houses me in her body in this lifetime. She began to transform both physically and spiritually in front of my own ‘soul eyes’ as I stayed with her and watched her life with her.

Even at the tender age of three and through her adolescent years, Roxana began witnessing a growth within her. She did not understand what she was seeing, but the seeds of knowing were sown in her. Every year, as she grew her physical body, her sensibility and her mind grew, and with this growth, her capacity to nurture her knowing of God was enhanced also. I started to see flashes of her unique understanding in her ‘regular life’ and how she started to feel a deeper understanding of her role on this earth.

Every experience was opening more windows, giving her more appreciation of her existence in this world. Every morning she watched another sunrise, and she knew this could be her last, or maybe she could watch a million more sunrises, but just being there on that morning was a gift. The daily world around her moved at a different pace, and as she watched her worlds, the external and the internal one, feeling at home, clear that she too belonged on this world just like the sun, the moon, and millions of stars, and human beings.

With time, Roxana started to internalize her learning and experiences with more power and clarity. I stayed with her every moment as she walked with more potency and intelligibility, building her own world. Few are able to really see or understand fully. The more she realized the value of life, the more value she added to it. The more she realized how fragile life is, the more determined she became to make every second of this precious life count. Her perspective toward life shifted with huge awareness; as if she could sense things happening to other people, to their lives, and to the sufferings of people she did not even know.

And she was connecting with ME in new ways too. She was trying to have a conversation with me and asking me to help her get closer to You. All this coming from a young woman who barely in her prime of life was a new experience for Me as well. Who was this creature? Who was she becoming? All I have known and seen in my ‘soul world’ is that human beings start a search within themselves; they ponder on God and his omnipotence, but only when they reach an advanced age and are made redundant by the world around them.

To be honest, I was enjoying being with Roxana in her body and discovering how she was finding new ways to connect to me and listen to ancient wisdom around the universe.

I the soul of Roxana, I urge you, The Readers, to read about Roxana’s eight instances of when she danced with death, but rose stronger as her internal compass developed to be a better version of herself.

Roxana’s realizations will help you, the Reader, to be that learned and successful version of yourself without going through life facing uncertainties and insecurities by just adopting these foolproof lessons about acquiring a tumultuous tempo, moving with purpose, and a power of your own.

…………Signed: Roxana’s Soul

Prologue

Fate

Life and Death.

A simple cycle.

Is this not true?

After life, death has to inevitably follow. It is simply written. Is this not fate?

Predetermined by a supernatural power, Is this not fate?

A doctor had once told me, when I asked about the side effects of a medicine he was prescribing:

"My dear, if you understand that death is a ‘side-effect’ of living, then you will accept everything given to you with an understanding that the power to avoid death does