Giant Lesbians Have Had Enough of Your Sh*t

By R.B. Ashton

Violet and Nova are ready for some big changes. A lot of people are going to get hurt.

 

Violet is fed up with her boring life and society in general. Angry at her latest commute, she bumps into Dr Harper Roan at just the right time.

 

Violet accidentally takes something of Harper's: a device with the incredible power to shrink things – or make them grow. And with a little encouragement from her bombastic partner Nova, Violet realises it might be just what they need to shake things up.

 

Starting by punishing anyone who crosses them.

 

But the shrinking device comes with complications: Harper's dangerous employees are out to recapture it, each use connects to something terrible, and Violet is getting new, voracious desires . . .

 

Just as well this hapless couple are hungry for a fight.

 

From miniaturising victims to earthshaking growth experiments, a bit of wild fun quickly turns deadly. If they can survive the horrors they've unleashed, how far are they prepared to go?

 

One thing's for sure: things are about to change in a BIG way. For Violet and Nova – and the rest of the world quaking at their feet.

 

Step inside R.B. Ashton's latest size-warping novel today for a fast-moving adventure packed with endearing characters, heart-stopping peril, and a good dose of delicious revenge.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Neringa Press
• Release date: Nov 14, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223191391

Book preview

1

VIOLET CALLAHAN WAS having an especially hateful day, and could not wait to get home.

She wasn’t sure if the day itself had been particularly bad in itself, but her mood certainly was. She’d had the same bland porridge for breakfast – alone, as her partner Nova was lying in – and got caught on the same stuffy commute. Slow traffic to the station and a packed train to the office, then the same tedious work all day alongside the same tedious people. A series of minor mishaps had further frustrated her: she’d dropped her spoon at breakfast; she’d taken extra long parking because the space in the multi-storey was so tight; there’d been no coffee in the office so she had to go to a different floor to find some; a file hadn’t saved properly and she’d had to redo an hour’s number crunching. All little things that built up, making her grind her teeth and tense her knuckles. It wasn’t just all that, though, she realised, when she finally got a moment to consider it, riding the train home.

Everything was annoying today.

Barry had kept lingering near her desk trying to talk when she wanted to get on with her work. She usually welcomed distractions, even if it was Barry, but his heavily misguided attempts to flirt with her were beyond irritating today. And the lights had seemed too bright, the work too dull, and now, rattling along in the train carriage, everything was just too damn noisy.

A man was eating a sandwich diagonally opposite from her, crunching slovenly on the crusty bread. She could hear every bite, beneath his sloppy lip smacking, and it made her skin feel tight all over. She had an urge to get up and ram the remains of the sandwich right down his throat, to choke him silent.

That’s what Nova would do, probably.

But Violet didn’t. She sat there grating against the sound, rocking side-to-side with the rhythm of the train (a stupidly shaky ride, and with all the money she paid in tickets!), wishing she could explode and burn up everyone around her in a ball of fire.

Down the carriage, a young couple were talking and laughing loudly, and even their brightly coloured clothing offended Violet. The girl had a loose, fashionably ripped top and jeans, and the boy an over-sized yellow hoodie and multi-coloured sneakers. A big contrast to Violet’s navy-blue skirt and jacket, and sensible black pumps. This was a day for quiet sounds and dull shades. She wanted everything else to go away.

Only another half an hour, she consoled herself. Thirty minutes and she’d be home, where she could lock her door against the outside world and tremble angrily in uninterrupted solitude, with Nova out working at the bar. She’d toss aside this too-tight suit and liberate her pony-tailed hair, so it could become the semi-frizzy mess it was destined to be in this unnatural October humidity. Then she’d have time to unwind, so she’d be chill for Nova’s return super late, and they could kiss and (quietly) hug, and Violet wouldn’t bite her head off. All she needed to do was endure a few more minutes on the rowdy train, dash for her car and sit in mind-numbing traffic until she reached home. Where she probably wouldn’t be able to find anywhere to park.

With real and imagined irritations mounting up again, Violet almost missed the train reaching her stop and jumped up to get out. She gave the sandwich-eater a barely concealed snarl, surprising him, and shouldered her way through the press of passengers. She already had her car key out, even with a five-minute walk to the car. Right at the train doors, she banged into another woman who wasn’t paying attention, and they both fell to their knees, tangled in each other and the closest passengers.

Sorry, sorry! the other woman flustered, quickly trying to compose herself. Another young idiot, this one with silky blonde hair and a cream cashmere sweater, big eyes and . . . a pretty complexion. That prettiness stalled Violet a moment before lashing out. But there was no time either way – she scrabbled about to grab her dropped car fob, gave the lady a quick combined smile and snarl, and burst out of the carriage. The doors beeped, closing.

Violet straightened herself up, correcting her jacket and dusting off her now-grubby skirt, and gave one last irritated look back to the noisy train as it trundled away, the blonde smiling apologetically out of the window. A short way down the platform, Violet saw the young couple had got off too, and were smirking her way, less sympathetically. The girl whispered to the boy and they laughed. At her. She wanted to shove them both bodily out onto the tracks.

But no. That would be murder. Glorious, fulfilling murder, but stupidly against the law. She’d have to satisfy herself with describing it to Nova later. Her partner always got it.

Shaking her deadly thoughts loose, Violet ducked into a tunnel and joined the press of people shuffling out of the station. She pushed purposefully through the exiting crowd to take the flyover into the car park and trotted down a stairwell to find her car. She couldn’t wait to reach the isolated confines of her Volvo V50. Finally alone, in the quiet of the lower reaches of the car park, the echoing tap-tap of Violet’s shoes on the concrete was still more than she wanted to hear.

Worse, the stair doors opened behind her and she heard a giggle. Without looking back, she knew it was that insufferable young couple, because of course they were parked near her, to provide a few final extra few moments of irritation. They were probably going to cut her off on the way out.

Violet lifted the car fob and hit the button to unlock her black V50, trying to focus on getting the hell out of here. Except the Volvo didn’t beep or light up to unlock – instead the fob emitted an odd green laser that swept over the car with no effect. Violet froze, fob still raised. Well what the hell was this now?

She pressed it again and got the same result.

Huffing, Violet turned the fob over in her hand, frowning at it, and realised it wasn’t her key at all. This unfamiliar bit of plastic had only one button, and no markings, and was a crude, blocky shape. Absently, grumbling annoyance at this apparent mix-up, she pressed the button again, with the thing aimed back at her, and the green light shone in her face. More than that: it crackled over her, with a feeling of sparks tingling head to toe, like suddenly being wrapped in an electric film.

A hellish sound cut through Scarlet’s senses, all the worst noises of the city combined in one drilling, shrieking, headache-inducing mess that made her cringe, and she saw a nightmare scene bursting around the edges of her car. It was there and gone in an instant, but in that split-second she had a deep impression of a land of horrors, cascading with fire and torture and monstrous, deadly creatures. A nightmare made momentarily incarnate. An audio-visual flash of exactly how she’d been feeling all day.

Then she couldn’t see for a second, and dropped the fob as her head got suddenly dizzy and she felt herself falling, though her feet were firmly on the ground.

When she opened her eyes again, and the electric sensation tingled off, she gasped. Her car, big enough normally, was now bigger than a building. The car park ceiling was way off in the sky. She looked down at herself, and her shoes appeared tiny next to the cracked concrete floor. She had shrunk. Violent trembled with rising rage. Never mind the impossibility, or the absurdity, of this. It was just bloody typical! Already a bad day, with everything pissing her off, and now she was the size of a doll!

Violet clenched her fists, veins popping up with tension as she suppressed a terrific roar of frustration. She took a deep breath, nails digging into her palm, and tried to let the tension out.

Then a loud footstep made her spin around – and down the row of enormous vehicles, she saw the young couple walking into her row. They were giggling again, the girl hanging off the guy’s arm, and they were absolutely giant. Violet took one startled look at them, turned on her heel and ran. She sprinted under the wheel of her car, around to the other side, and ducked into the shadow as the young woman made a startled sound.

Shit, shit, shit.

Didn’t you see it? the girl asked, surprise turning to excitement. As her boyfriend mugged confusion she rushed towards Violet’s car, each step of her sandalled feet creating a loud slap that made Violet flinch. I think it might’ve been a mouse.

Then why are you getting close? the guy said.

The girl crouched by the car, down onto her knees, air whooshing in as she looked side to side. Violet held her breath, keeping totally still, willing them to get the hell out of here. She didn’t know how they’d react to finding a tiny person – wasn’t sure how she should even react herself yet – but she did not want to find out.

A giant hand came past suddenly, fingers spread to pat the floor. The girl’s arm, reaching under the car. Violet almost jumped out of her own skin but held rigid, straining not to be noticed. She watched the fingers grasping about for purchase. They would’ve been slender with delicate nails, at a normal height, but to Violet they were now massive, deadly beasts, each one taller than her whole body.

Stop being gross! the guy groaned. You’re not gonna grab a mouse, Lorna!

Not with that attitude, she said, hand still moving. It swept towards Violet’s position, bending to wrap around the wheel, and she braced herself, ready to bolt. Then the giant girl retreated suddenly, falling back.

That’s enough! her boyfriend said, having pulled her out. What’s wrong with you? Wanna get rabies?

Oh come on, she laughed. "It was a mouse!"

She kept laughing as the guy walked away, grumbling at her strangeness, then she got up and her tone changed, asking what was wrong. As their footsteps retreated, and they fell into a senseless, mean argument, Violet let out a huge breath of relief and finally relaxed. She was shaking, so close to having been caught by a couple of straight idiots.

She took her phone out of her pocket and unlocked it. It had shrunk with her, along with her clothes, and was still working, for a small blessing. She dialled Nova before she’d thought through what she was doing. As it rung, she looked across the floor under the car and saw the fob that had shrunk her. The foul thing was now almost as big as she was. No way she could point it back at herself and hit the button again.

Hey, you driving? Nova answered the phone.

I wish, Violet replied wearily. She smeared her free hand down her face and sighed. I’m in trouble, Nova. I need your help.

Trouble? Nova pitched up an octave, had her attention now. The hell’s happened? Are you hurt?

No, I . . . Violet hesitated. There was no way Nova would believe the truth. She wouldn’t ditch work if she suspected a joke or prank – only if it was an emergency. Choosing her words carefully, Violet said, I’m okay but I can’t drive, alright? I need you to pick me up from the station. There’s blood.

2

THE ALMOST THIRTY MINUTES it took for Nova to arrive did little to calm Violet. She was on edge, jumping at every sound that echoed through the garage, as giant people marched to and from their cars. The ground vibrated right through her when engines started and vehicles rolled past, and on two occasions enormous shoes tramped right by her hiding spot. The shadows under the other cars and towards the walls didn’t help, either. There could be rats twice her size out there, ready to eat her.

With those fears in place, she scarcely had time to consider how the hell she had shrunk and what she was going to do now. It felt too dreamlike and definitely too annoying to get caught up on the impossibility of it.

Then, at last, a car rolled up next to Violet’s Volvo, a familiar shade of light blue. The engine cut out, the door opened and a giant boot landed on the concrete. Nova’s worn black leather Dr Marten knock-offs, with the a tall sole about waist high to Violet. As Nova trod past the wheel to scan the V50, Violet stared at her scuffed boots. The laces were loose, almost undone, and frayed with age. The stitching on the right boot was peeling away. Above them, past Nova’s thick white cotton socks, part of her shin was bare under ripped three-quarter length denim trouser cuffs. Ordinarily, Violet found her partner’s rough-and-ready style cute, sexy, but right now Nova seemed all the more intimidating for it. Those careless boots were big enough to stomp Violet flat.

Violet? Nova called out from on high, as she stepped around the car. Where are you?

Nova, Violet said, quietly at first, then plucked up the courage to call out louder. Nova? Can you hear me?

Her partner stopped moving. Violet? Are you . . . under the car?

Yes, Violet replied loudly, at least for her. This was a minor miracle, though – Nova could hear her voice. Apparently the shrinking hadn’t proportionately affected her there. But now came the hard part. "Nova. I need you to not freak out. I’m not freaking out. I’ve been very careful not to freak out. So promise me you won’t either. Okay?"

You’re not making it easy, Nova replied. What the hell is going on?

"I’ve had a really, really bad day, Violet explained. And it ended in something unbelievably shit."

Why are you under the car, Vie? Nova crouched, shadow flowing ahead of her. Violet watched around the edge of the wheel