Beanstalked

By R.B. Ashton

Mac wanted to get high, but not like this…

 

Living in poverty under the rule of Leah, his uncompromising girlfriend, Mac's only release is drugs. When a dealer offers him strange new pills, Leah is furious and throws them out. But in the morning, there's a beanstalk where the pills fell, climbing to the sky.

 

Mac imagines it must lead to a land of opportunity. Do riches lie at the top?

 

He and his friends are about to travel to somewhere all out of proportion, where beautiful giantesses await. But just because they're beautiful, it doesn't mean they're friendly – especially when they pick up the scent of delicious intruders.

 

And for once, the giants might get their due.

 

Brothers Grimm meets Godzilla in this madcap contemporary homage to fairy tales; start reading today and climb right into a magical world. Just don't expect to get out alive…

• Language: English
• Publisher: Neringa Press
• Release date: Apr 22, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201328641

Book preview

Beanstalked

R.B. Ashton

MMXXII

1

Mac and Leah lived in moderate poverty in a shabby house on the shabbiest street of Cheasing, a nowhere town in the English countryside. Through hustling and help from the state, they and their housemates survived on cheap food and occasional drugs forays. Once, maybe twice a week, if they pooled their pennies and got some weed and pills, then who cared how little they ate?

Well, sometimes Mac cared. He wanted more than to just exist, and, when he felt brave enough to face Leah’s insults, he dreamed of doing something more. That had been the case when he went into town to get ecstasy and came back with capsules that looked very much not like ecstasy. The guy had been persuasive, saying it was experimental and would be all the rage in a few years – just you wait – offering a totally new kind of high. Unfortunately, when Mac tried to recite the pitch to Leah, she focused on the negatives, as usual. She’d been waiting in her leather jacket and jeans, short hair spiked up, ready to go out, and the reveal made her mad.

We’re doing drugs, moron! she shouted, as Mac stood on the doorstep of their barely furnished home. "No one’s swallowing anything experimental or going after a new high!"

She slapped the capsules from his hand and they scattered into the street. Mac bleated complaint and went to gather them but Leah pulled him back, snarling, You leave that shit there. We’re going out and you’re gonna get our money back.

They went into town together and found no sign of the man who’d sold Mac the drugs, so were forced into another night of cheap booze and short tempers. Fed up, Leah insisted they go home early, then sat angrily on the broken sofa complaining about what an idiot her boyfriend was and how the hell were they gonna pay rent now.

Mac kept grumpily quiet, not pointing out that they wouldn’t have been able to pay rent anyway, if he’d bought the regular pills. That would only get him in more trouble. But he silently plotted – he’d go back outside later and retrieve those capsules, then sell them himself, at a profit. He’d buy real drugs, pay rent, and get some good food in. A pizza, at least.

Only, after Leah finished her rant and Mac settled down with thoughts of all the things he’d do tomorrow, sleep overtook him, and they collapsed into snores together. When Mac next opened his eyes, and morning had come, he immediately sensed something was wrong. Sunlight crept in through the windows, but something was blocking the bulk of it.

Mac looked outside, scratching his head and yawning. A great shadow was cast across the road. His eyes widened and he craned his neck up as he saw what had emerged in the night. The street was cracked, with roots and vines stretching over the pavements and up the walls, coming together in a collection of huge green stalks that wound together, rising up.

Leah! Mac shouted. Get out here, come look at this!

Quit yelling! Leah snapped. I’ll kick your arse! She came out dressed as she had been the night before, looking like she might hit him, until she saw the roots for herself. She gasped and bumped into the door, fully awakened by the sight.

They marvelled at it together: a stalk so massive it towered into the sky, well beyond the buildings of their small town, all the way into the clouds.

What’s all the shouting? their housemate, Taylor, asked, blearily following Leah outside. He’d just got up too, a skinny, long-haired guy in a loose white vest,