Henderson Yip's Hardware Store

By M.L. Bladd

A comedy based in the 22nd century.

Axiom2, the future evolutionary version of the International Space Station is in peril, as are the crew, due to innocuous components failure.

Unfortunately, these parts are redundant in the 22nd century.

This problems kickstarts a race to find someone, somewhere who has the necessary parts, as manufacturing or bypassing is not an option in the allotted time.

A farce begins as a professor from mission control, agents from a rival company (seeking to gain control of space exploration) and the secretary to the Prime Minister start their race against time.

Insider knowledge, underhand tactics, travelling across the Atlantic on the Hyper Highway Express Service, all to track down the essentials.

Lunacy is the word, and lunacy it truly is.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Sep 15, 2023
• ISBN: 9781528957793

M.L. Bladd

M.L. Bladd remembers a remark from his junior school teacher telling him that he enjoyed reading his stories from creative writing lessons but could he make them shorter so that he had a chance to read the other children’s pieces. MLB, for as long as he has known, enjoyed making up stories. Although not following this through in his education, he actually went on to achieve a BA (Hons) degree majoring in history and then on to earn a post-graduate diploma in radio production and writing for the media. MLB resides in North West London and continues to work full-time as a manager in a retail environment, taking some inspiration from the people he interacts with on a daily basis and the loved ones he has around him. MLB has a thirst for knowledge and even attempts to persuade people when they are trying to tell him something to turn it into a question. The debut novel, Arena: End of an Era, was influenced by being challenged by a work colleague and also due to a challenging time within M.L. Bladd’s own life. Outside of writing and the people he cares about, M.L. Bladd says his loves are ‘Reading, quizzes, nearly all sports and sandwiches’.

Book preview

About the Author

M.L. Bladd remembers a remark from his junior school teacher telling him that he enjoyed reading his stories from creative writing lessons but could he make them shorter so that he had a chance to read the other children’s pieces.

MLB, for as long as he has known, enjoyed making up stories. Although not following this through in his education, he actually went on to achieve a BA (Hons) degree majoring in history and then on to earn a post-graduate diploma in radio production and writing for the media.

MLB resides in North West London and continues to work full-time as a manager in a retail environment, taking some inspiration from the people he interacts with on a daily basis and the loved ones he has around him. MLB has a thirst for knowledge and even attempts to persuade people when they are trying to tell him something to turn it into a question.

The debut novel, Arena: End of an Era, was influenced by being challenged by a work colleague and also due to a challenging time within M.L. Bladd’s own life.

Outside of writing and the people he cares about, M.L. Bladd says his loves are ‘Reading, quizzes, nearly all sports and sandwiches’.

Dedication

For you for inspiring me to become a better person every single day.

Copyright Information ©

M.L. Bladd 2023

The right of M.L. Bladd to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781528932486 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781528957793 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2023

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

1 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Acknowledgement

There are a lot of people that I need to thank for enabling HYHS (Henderson Yip’s Hardware Store) for coming to fruition.

Firstly, my family, friends and work colleagues, for putting up with me and letting me dig deeper into certain questions and also gaining insight on certain concepts.

Also, I need to thank Holly Sheppard, Alexander Holiday, Michael Moore and the team at Austin Macauley’s, for truly and decisively understanding the intrinsic values in the story.

Sorry for being side-tracked here but HYHS as you see it now is completely different from its original format, which was a lot darker and serious and was born out of my limited knowledge of the effects of global warming. It was not until I was working on a re-write of one of my plays The History of the Debating Carriage Party (Yes, another train, but honestly, I am not a train spotter or infatuated by trains) that I realized that HYHS could actually be a comedy. With this the plot had to be altered slightly and the array of characters needed a little bit of ‘zhuzh’ thrown at them, from this the farce quickly gained momentum.

Finally, I need to thank a few people that are extremely dear to me. Marinela, for always being there no matter the circumstances, not only listening to me but also demanding that I place importance in the right areas at the right time even though I am sure I disappointed at many junctures. Jamie, for the care and attention you show especially considering that my ‘waffle’ I am sure must have been exhausting. And Keith, for being the support network that you are, whose enthusiasm to enable me to continue growing makes it all possible. Let me just apologise here for the language used, you need to remember, it is not me it is the characters.

And of course, to that one person that inspired us and will continue to oversee our development.

I really hope that you will find enjoyment and a lovely sense of escapism as you read this. I know that times have been difficult for everyone recently, but we will come out the other side stronger and hopefully as better people.

Thank you all.

500 Kms Above Earth

Houston, we have a problem.

Hilarious, Captain Rostov, that really never gets old.

No seriously, Senior Professor Houston, we actually really do have a problem this time.

A problem, problem or a PO, HD*, problem?

A problem, problem.

Cut the live external feed. Why is it always on my watch that you up there always have some sort of issue? I am looking at the telemetry now Captain Rostov. What is the issue?

ISH

Senior Professor Jonathan Houston is the lead officer at the ‘Cabinet Space Control Centre’ (CSCC) on Tuesdays to Saturdays from 19:00 hours until 07:00. Live pictures and sound are live streamed and televised from the Axiom Station 2 (AXS2) the globally ran Space Station, to a viewing public of over 1 billion daily viewers.

ISH

Captain Vladi Rostov is part of the nine-member crew aboard the AXS2, now it was not beyond the crew to find time to play tricks, annoy, antagonise and pretty much do whatever they can to attempt to change the amazing relaxed demeanour of Senior Professor Houston. Why is a completely different question, probably because 6 months in space can become quite tedious even though there is plenty of work to be done. In fact, the main issues reported back after being on AXS2 is on having to overcome boredom. This crew obviously decided Houston was there plan of attack to overcome these issues.

The diagnostics are being run at the moment Captain Rostov; we haven’t seen anything from the telemetry.

Houston, no jokes there is definitely an issue, levels are dropping, we can feel it. Technician Jackson, is going through the service packs now, but it’s not anything related to sections one or two.

OK, Captain Rostov, leave it with us, we should get some answers soon, all reports are being run as we speak, we will go back to a live feed in five minutes so please remember watershed times and give them something light-hearted. No mention of any issues. Got it?

Right, great. Understand, loud and clear. Don’t steam up those spectacles. Bloody, all about ratings.

Now, now, Captain, keep things in perspective, you want to be there right?

OK, Houston, just get the results and get it sorted.

Houston cut sound to the crew, wiped his spectacles with his tie and addressed the team members in the control room.

Anything? Pass me the reports from today so far.

ISH

The control room for Axiom Station 2 (AXS2) is within the globally controlled ‘Space Centre for Resource and Aeronautic Planning’ (SCRAP) Earth positioning Zone North America 1.

ISH

*PO, HD is the technical wording used by SCRAP, CSCC and AXS2 members for what in layman’s terms is best described as ‘human debris’.

Are you ready? We are going live in 10, 9, 8—

We are ready. You realise this will be the first televised 2 on 2 volleyball game in space?

3, 2, 1. Go.

Welcome to the final of the AXS2 two-on-two volleyball tournament, I have drawn the short straw playing alongside Captain Rostov, top Mr Grump and so competitive, against Lieutenants Andrea Morton and Jesse Harper. Before this I didn’t realise it was Ladies verses Gentlemen, but here we go. Morton to serve.

They get it, Salisbury now come on. Let’s win this.

ISH

Extracurricular activities are taken more seriously than a person’s ‘normal’ job. In this era, the largest workforce is in health care, with a great percentage involved in personal and physical therapy both for those with emotional and metal aid. After this Information Security have the next largest workforce followed by, logistical companies, content creators and environmental technicians.

Statistics and information from Global Website Atourwork.com

ISH

Chapter 1

Morning

Meanwhile, 500Km back on Earth

No, Bawwy, seriously, you said you would be off today and all week. This is total bullshit. You can’t just get up and leave in the middle of the night.

Hendy, I said I would be off next weekend not this one.

You did not!

I did.

I am looking at my online diary now for fuck sake. I have it here saying you were off.

Hendy hun, you have got it wrong.

Don’t hun me Bawwy. I am not wrong. I even did some searches of what to do. Do you really want me to check my ISH*?

Do whatever you want, Hendy.

Oh, I see. Do whatever I want, right?

You know I didn’t mean it like that.

Just like you didn’t mean to tell me you were off today and the whole week, but you are not.

I didn’t say this week, it’s from next weekend.

Fuck you Bawwy. You said this weekend. I organised to go in early so we could have today and the whole weekend together.

Hendy, I am sorry. I can’t do anything about it now.

Can’t or won’t. It’s bullshit. I am looking at my ISH now.

Hendy, it doesn’t matter now, I am at work. Just drop it.

Doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter? Fuck you.

With this Henderson Yip turned off his device and continued his short walk under the Broadway towards his shop.

At 30 years of age and now in a relationship with Barry Toole for the practically the last 3 years, Henderson Yip was wanting everything to be perfect. He was content with life, he had his store, he was comfortable financially and he did love Barry and had left behind his completely carefree life.

In the 22nd Century, the world was a very different place due to the impact of both social and political causes and the effects of the changing nature and geography of the earth.

ISH*

I forgot to mention, that’s me. In fact, I am Henderson Yip’s personal ISH. I am what we call an Interactive Social Hub (ISH) some people have hologram versions, some people personalise their own. Henderson has left me in my natural state, still referring to me globally, friends, entertainment and extracurricular. I obviously can do all the usual, send and receive all message types, social networking, video calling, banking and private information that I cannot reveal because it is set into my protocols.

Henderson Yip is my User and the most amount of incoming information is always from Barry Toole, he is Henderson’s partner of exactly 2 years, 11 months, 28 days, 19 hours and 39 minutes, according to the date Henderson used to say when his relationship started on his social networking sites. I do have inbuilt A.I so I can also give advice based on statistical data and probability.

Let ISH give you an example. Barry Toole has named his ISH ‘Tiffany’, he has also got the advanced features and this enables ‘Tiffany’ to appear as a hologram. Through probability, even on such a personal choice, I can gather the reason why Mr Toole decided on the name ‘Tiffany’. My reasoning is 89% accurate. The options are either Tiffany, jewellery creator of timeless beauty and superlative craftsmanship since 1837 or simply a name Mr Toole chose or most likely and I will let you know why, the movie ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’.

Now because I can access all information received by Henderson Yip including messages, Mr Toole has on occasions referred to Henderson as ‘Hendy Golightly’ the character ‘Holly Golightly’ performed by Audrey Hepburn is in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I could also deduce that the hologram is 51% likely to be Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly. In my storage data, there are further informational evidence however due to security systems I cannot divulge any of these under Data Protection Laws and Personal Information Act.

I also understand one of the main reasons why Henderson is emotionally distressed by Barry Toole not being present this weekend. Henderson has already ordered food for their 3-year anniversary. To be delivered from the exclusive 5 Star restaurant Mockingbird and also paid for the waiter service and the rooftop garden above his apartment building.

All I can add to this is, Oops, Henderson is not happy. Barry really does not know, his ‘Tiffany’ has no dates for their anniversary.

A fuming Henderson Yip crossed the quiet highway muttering the words ‘What a dick’ and looked up in the direction or the small row of shops and the L.E.D billboards framing them. Yip out loud said, ‘Oh, fuck off’ as a scene of a happy couple drinking, flicked up on the screens. Henderson pulled his coat collar tighter around his neck as he fumbled in his bag for his fob for his shop.

Even for Henderson getting to work at 06:45 was seriously early, waking up to find that Barry had already gone had not put him in a great frame of mind however, one thing Henderson really did love was his little shop*.

Little shop, in comparison to most shops Henderson Yip’s is indeed small, mainly because independent traders had pretty much fallen off the face of the earth with conglomerates running most of retail and precincts. Each area really just had city-size malls consisting of hundreds of stores and the owners of all of these were in fact just under a dozen companies.

Henderson placed his fob on the panel and slowly watched the shutters to his shop rise. He looked up and down the desolate Broadway, took into account that his three golden balls hanging from the signage needed a good clean and looked in upon his window display noting a few changes that need to happen.

Next, Henderson punched in the numerical password and the electric door flashed across, on walking in Henderson ensured the door locked behind him and said, Store 4227, shop lights on. Immediately the light panels on the ceiling and behind all cabinet displays blazed into life. He checked the cleanliness of the grey tiled flooring, viewed the internal cabinets that ran along the right-hand side and spoke the words, Store 4227, tablets on. On the left-hand side of the store, a row of 8 electronic screens fastened to pedestals blinked into life.

Henderson then punched another code into a keypad towards the back of the shop floor and another electronic door opened revealing the back area.

The shop floor being clean, tidy organised and in some sense rather pretty was in complete juxtaposition to that of the back area. The first section was rather reasonable a white light box with lights on tripods around it, sitting on a clear cabinet containing photographic equipment and handheld terminals, a row of 5 large safes against a wall and a set of security screens that gave a view of every angle or every part of the store, internal and external.

However, after this section, the organisation dipped a lot. Electronic parts of ancient equipment, wires, leads, paperwork, books, tools (both old and new) lay in piles some intermingled amongst unknown parts.

Henderson made his way past all the disarray, only a low-level tut exited his mouth and came to the back of the store. Hidden away in the corner was his sanctuary. One desk, one ladder, one chair and folders full of documents that reached close enough to the ceiling.

ISH

From past entry’s, I can add that Henderson Yip has called himself a compiler of knowledge, a cataloguer. Any item that has ever come into Henderson Yip’s hardware store has a picture taken of it and a description made of it. Henderson personally catalogues all the items and makes copies that he keeps in his files.

‘Yippee’ is the name of Henderson’s website and he has been approached on many occasions by the huge online stores to join/amalgamate with them. I have in my storage exactly the number of approaches that have been made; it now totals 147 not including the 63 times that they have made offers to him to join their companies. The longest pause between replies from Henderson has been 8 days. I can add to this that during that attempt to contact Henderson he was away on holiday on another continent for 7 of those days.

Before settling into his chair at his desk, Henderson filled a kettle with water from a sink in the opposite corner, squeezing between shelves of goods as he did so. He grabbed a mug from beside the sink, which had the glittery word ‘pretty’ emblazoned on it, plonked in a teabag and stood waiting for the kettle to boil and re-examined his mobile device.

ISH

There was a message from Barry Toole, I had notified him but Henderson had not responded at the time.

At London Terminal for HH

Barry Toole had just looked down at ‘Tiffany’ and noticed that Henderson had finally viewed his message. But there was no time now to get involved in another argument out of something that he believed was so trivial. ‘I definitely told him I had to work the weekend,’ he thought, as he walked through the staff-only door leading to departures where he would greet his particular crew on business class for the journey to NA Zone 1.

ISH

The Hyper Highways logo of two ‘flying H’s’ (As stated on their description on the website) is the most globally recognisable signage. In reference to the description the arrow through the H’s represents that they can take you everywhere across the globe. This is true since the makeup of the globe altered throughout the 21st and 22nd century.

Barry had only ventured two steps inside departures when he was enveloped in a rapturous embrace. Before even seeing whom the arms had come from the smell was completely recognisable, it was Gem. Gem’s real name was Jemma Morton, 24-year-old, staffing attendant. 2 years with HH, well-liked by most other staff members and with 5 stars on her badge proof that passengers liked her too.

You OK, Gem.

Just so happy that you are our team leader today.

That’s very sweet of you.

It’s true, was awful last week.

Now, finally relinquishing from the embrace, mainly only due to Barry readjusting his HH hat.

Why?

Was on the Nordic route and was so awful.

Why so?

Just organisation had a few newbie’s and Kelly was Chief.

Oh, OK. She is still leading?

Apparently so. Anyhow we have a neat team.

I have not received the staffing list yet, was about to check.

Barry, we have No Vowels, Boobs and Lenny. Also, Double Mattress is with us outbound she is on a 24hr Azores round and back.

That sounds pretty good. Let’s get them together Barry pointed towards the coffee station where he saw Tyrhyss Fyrck (No Vowels), Harriet Titt (Boobs) and Leonard Dickens (Lenny).

Hi, Boss.

Hey, Barry.

Morning, the cacophony of shouts rendered out and Barry raised his hand.

Morning all.

ISH

All Hyper highways members wore the uniform with pride, attendants in navy trousers or skirts (Choice for all) with white and yellow stripe down the right-hand-side and a navy shirt with the flying H’s logo over the pocket, optional Navy blazer, with white and yellow vertical stripe again on