LALA Surviving

By Felipe Reynoso

Lala is young, strong, smart, and ambitious. Her boyfriend is the perfect mate. Life isn't that perfect though. Focused and empowered, Lala stays busy with her job as a men's clothing store clerk and learns that her business desires cause her to stray away from what's important. The one thing that keeps getting in the way is her mental illness.

At work, she excels and performs at the job at J&J Clothes that the manager, Jules, is grooming her to take on assistant manager duties. Lala is intuitive, and she knows what it takes to progress through the hard-core and established boundaries in the culture of the good old boys' club. The only bombshell that meets her efforts are anxieties and depression. She holds on and attempts to clear the hurdles of these conditions, but trips over them at every turn even with professional help. Lala's saving grace is her support system: her parents and boyfriend. Even then, they tumble. Aside from the health issues and family and friend deaths, Lala finds a way through hard work and study to climb to greater heights.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Fulton Books, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 31, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887312897

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

Dedication

Premise

Chapter 1: The Store

Chapter 2: Her Unknown

Chapter 3: Rescue

Chapter 4: Intervention

Chapter 5: The Office at Night

Chapter 6: Sam

Chapter 7: Back to the Office

Chapter 8: Dazed and Bewildered

Chapter 9: Disbelief

Chapter 10: Worrisome

Chapter 11: Sigh!

Chapter 12: Aftermath

Chapter 13: Unsettling

Chapter 14: Feelings

Chapter 15: Oh My!

Chapter 16: Despair

Chapter 17: Dignity

Chapter 18: Let the Sunshine In

Chapter 19: Steady State

Chapter 20: Prelude

Chapter 21: Awakening

Chapter 22: Surprise!

Chapter 23: Serious Talks

Chapter 24: Coldness

Chapter 25: Cloudy

Chapter 26: Wake Up, Dear, Wake Up!

Chapter 27: Newsworthy

Chapter 28: Therapy

Chapter 29: Reflections

Chapter 30: Flying Single

Chapter 31: Surviving

Chapter 32: Creating

Chapter 33: Step Back

Chapter 34: Starting Over Again

Chapter 35: Fresh Start

Chapter 36: Inch Along

Chapter 37: Difficult to Smile

Chapter 38: Get Well

Chapter 39: Baby Steps

Chapter 40: Understanding

Chapter 41: Once Again

Chapter 42: Life's Choices

Chapter 43: Life

Chapter 44: Decisions

Chapter 45: Synchronize

Chapter 46: A True Beginning

Chapter 47: Homeward

About the Author

cover.jpg

LALA Surviving

Felipe Reynoso

Copyright © 2023 Felipe Reynoso

All rights reserved

First Edition

Fulton Books

Meadville, PA

Published by Fulton Books 2023

ISBN 979-8-88731-288-0 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88731-289-7 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Dedication

For Rheanna, Luca, Stella Grace, Luca Aleksander, and Otto William—my universe.

Premise

An intelligent and talented young woman strives to gain experience in a man's world but stumbles with her unguarded anxious feelings.

Chapter 1

The Store

Lala

The more I push myself to do things right, the more they come out looking horrible. If only life weren't so hard.

I can't stop thinking.

I sure hope this job at the clothing store pans out. So far, it's working out. That's good 'cuz I need the extra cash. I gotta pay off that credit card, and then there is the car note, and then the rent, and then the utilities and food. When does it stop?

The number 60 bus pulls to the curb, and passengers jump off. I'm second to climb on board and pay the fare. I hastily make my way to the back and corner myself in a seat.

I'm a twenty-year-old at Glendale Community College, living with her parents in the Washington Heights area of Los Angeles. I hate that I still live at home, but while I attend school and have a roof over my head, that's the deal.

Mind you, going to a two-year college earns me an associate's degree in business and buys me time to make a true decision that will open big doors. For the time being, I go to school and work this job at the clothing store.

The bus does not travel far—three miles—it's just the LA traffic that gets the millions of LA commuters. On a good day, taking the bus on this route takes an hour. And yet it lasts two hours on a bad commute.

Luckily, it's a good day. I get to the store in fifty minutes. A new record!

I wonder who else is on the floor today with me? It doesn't matter if my supervisor, Manny, is here, and he is. I checked already.

I appreciate that my bosses have taken me in and have taught me the clothing business from scratch. They didn't have to. I come from a tough neighborhood and have grown up in the school of hard knocks. Luckily for me, I've always kept my nose clean and stayed out of trouble. There are a few things that I've picked up along the way that keep me out of the mainstream from where I'm from: I've always dressed nice, mastered the English language from an early age, and treated everyone with respect and dignity. People even tell me that I look and sound different.

I come barreling into the store just as customers walk out. I scan the floor and can't quite recognize anyone, so I beeline it to the office area situated along the side in the rear of the small building. At their desk and both with today's LA Times are Manny and Jules Goch, the managers.

Hey, Lala, how are you? asks Jules.

Good morning, Mr. Goch and Manny, I salute. I'm doing great!

Manny stands and interrupts, Lala, take care of working the shirts and accessories area for the morning. It means selling the customer a tie with that shirt or socks with that belt or all four items. Okay?

Gotcha!

The morning is slow. No customers walk in the store until noon. In that dead time, I straighten out the dress shirts, making sure that they are all in the right slots along the wall. I also move to the tie racks and organize all the tie wear.

The place looks like it was ready for a military white-glove inspection. It was that organized and clean.

Manny, isn't it weird it's this slow?

No, not really. It's the first day of summer, and many businessmen started their vacations, Manny replies.

When do you think I can start selling suits and sports coats?

If you start selling ties and shirt combinations soon, I can get an idea that you are catching on. I am flexible though. Sound fair, Lala?

This is music to my ears, I say.

The customer flow increases, and I smoothly integrate myself with the flow. One customer directly asks for a black dress shirt and black tie, along with black socks. That was a quick and easy sale.

Another customer wants a white long-sleeved dress shirt with a blue tie that coordinates with the suit that he has on. Another easy transaction. This one, though, includes coordinating a shirt and tie with a suit.

I sure hope that Manny is looking and taking mental notes. You see, Manny, I can do this suit stuff.

The remainder of the afternoon quickly goes by, and it's time to close. Jules says goodbye and leaves. Manny stays behind.

I begin to sweep the floor to the main area. Starting to the left and moving the broom to and fro, I rhythmically sweep. Within twenty minutes, all the little piles of trash that I make are picked up and disposed of in the big can.

Manny comes over and leans against the wall closest to me.

How do you think your day went, Lala? Manny asks.

I pretty much got down the shirt-tie combo, along with the socks and belts. This afternoon proved a bit more of a test as there was more foot traffic. Even with the crowd, I managed to sell a shirt and tie to a man in a suit. I thought that was a mild breakthrough in clothing sales, I chuckle nervously.

Did you notice that I sold a suit to an older man? It was a charcoal gray pinstripe with a black shirt and black tie, and black socks. That's what the man wanted, and we delivered. I cannot help but beam with pride. I sold a complete package, Manny.

Manny with a smile says, I did notice. It impressed me even more that you approached the man first. You reached out and threw out the bait, if you will. You broke the ice and made him feel at home with your calm demeanor and approach. You warmed up to him. I like that.

He walks to the office area and grabs his jacket and the newspaper, and turns around. It looks as if he was going to say something, but he doesn't. Instead, he walks toward the front door.

Lala, clean up the accessories area and organize the suits by sizes and then color within the size. Does that make sense? Manny hastily asks.

I guess you're going now? It will take me about thirty to forty-five minutes to get everything in order. I'll call my boyfriend to come to pick me up at seven.

Sounds like a plan. I will see you tomorrow then. Make sure you turn off the lights, except the ones in the middle section. Manny waves goodbye and exits the store. He locks the front door and swiftly moves on to the street.

The store is deadly quiet.

I could hear myself think. Settle down. There is nothing to worry about. Just get to the shirts. First things first, right? I worry.

And then I turn and see the person.

Quickly, I remember what Jules showed me at lunchtime. I dart with the speed of a cheetah and duck into the secret hiding place. Thank you, Jules!

The man moves toward me now. What do I do now?

Chapter 2

Her Unknown

The lighting in the outer space is dim.

The crack in the door reveals the presence of another person. Is it a reflection from the outside shining onto the mirror on the opposite end of where I am.

I wait in the little secret hiding space that I crawled into. Shivering in fear, I wait.

The hutch is just big enough for me. It keeps me out of the bird's eye.

It's a reflection in the mirror! As startled as I am, I now seem so sheepishly embarrassed. Just another prime-time moment.

Why do I scare so easily? I wonder.

The remaining sounds are the jazz tunes sounding from the mini speakers cutting the bare silence in the store. Miles Davis. God, I love jazz!

I move from the crawl space out to the hallway.

And then it hits me. I'm not alone. At that instance, I freeze again.

Something passes by me. It's swift, but I feel it breeze by. What is that?

I look behind me, first to the left and now to the right. Nothing. Anxieties!

The tunes are blaring in the background and ever so crystal clear that I can almost swear that I'm in person at the Greek Theater in Hollywood.

I return to folding the men's shirts on the table.

What a mess! I wonder aloud. Why can't people return the goods in their original package the way that they found them?

It takes a good hour before I move on to the suits on the rack. Again, all the hangers—clearly marked by sizes—are all out of sequence and order.

I glance at my watch and think about calling Sam, my boyfriend. I calculate it's seven o'clock, and at this rate, I will get done by eight. It's dark outside already.

I return to the suits and carefully manage to lift five hangers and move them to a section labeled 42.

There it is again.

These anxieties are going to drive me batty and surely bring an early death.

I slump and lean on the table and close my eyes.

Crash!

The mannequin comes crashing down in the middle aisle, making a thundering boom!

I crumble to the ground, dropping the suit I had. I grab the jacket and cover my head, not wanting to see a thing. I try to slow my breathing.

A few minutes pass by and not a peep. I slowly stand and uncover myself from the coat. I surveil the floor and see exactly what was the racket. I see. That mannequin that always falls for no reason at all.

I hope Jules will just get rid of this stupid doll. It freaks me out.

Hello! Hi there!

I freeze. I don't know what to do now.

There it goes again.

Hello! Hello!

Finally, I move, awkwardly at first, then with great reservations. I slowly turn toward the voice and notice someone at the front door. A well-dressed man is banging on the glass door. I yell, We're closed.

My anxieties are scrambling my brain, and I am shutting down mentally. Not good. No bueno.

I need to use the restroom, young lady, say the man.

There are no public restrooms here, I reply sternly.

Come on, you mean to tell me that you have to go elsewhere to pee during work hours? the man asks.

That's right, we go over to the theater or the coffee shop around the corner. We have working agreements with both parties. I barely articulate an answer, and now I'm shaking.

I can feel myself withdrawing.

Hey!

Chapter 3

Rescue

That is a different voice. It's Manny's voice!

I shout out, Manny, this man wants in. He wants to use a restroom, and I tell him that we have no facilities, but he continues until just now when you arrived.

Manny faces the man and angrily says, You need to leave. We have no restroom in our store.

The stranger turns to the street and walks away without even a word.

Manny unlocks the doors with his keys and closes them behind him. He locks them and turns toward me. You okay?

I'm shaken up and feel like a semitruck has just run me over. I blink quickly and breathe slowly, attempting to gain my faculties. I wish that it were that easy, but for today I need to get my game face on.

I was a bit nervous about that guy. Thanks so much for coming back. What made you return?

Manny smiles and answers, I just had this weird feeling like I forgot something at the office, so I doubled back. Parked right outside. I turned the corner to the store and hear this guy yelling outside of our windows. That's when I called out to him. I was kind of glad that he walked away.

I just hope that he doesn't come back when you leave.

After what just happened, you still want to stay around here by yourself? Are you crazy? Can you call someone? Manny suggests.

I hesitate and open up, I'll tell you the truth, he scared the dickens out of me. I sure am glad you came back when you did. Huge thanks! I'll call my boyfriend and have him pick me up. He lives ten minutes away.

Do you want me to wait with you? I can. There is nothing I need to do, Manny responds with concern.

That's a good idea, and I appreciate that a lot, Manny. But he's coming soon. Okay, maybe wait for ten minutes?

Manny goes to the back of the store to his desk and flops in his chair with the latest Rolling Stone magazine. Just yell if you need me.

I am ruffled, but no worse for wear, straighten myself up, and go to the back past the admin area, and right smack into the restroom. The irony of it all.

I return to the suits and begin, once again, to organize them, size 42, size 38, size 40.

Ten minutes pass and no Sam. He said that he'd run right over. That was fifteen minutes ago.

Manny gets up and makes noise in the office.

I wonder if he's getting tired and ready to go.

Manny with half a yawn says, I'm gonna get going, okay? The guy is long gone.

Yeah, okay. I sure hope so.

Manny closes the doors and locks them. He makes the turn, and off he goes.

I'm by myself again. Why does it happen all the time? It seems like it's happening more and more lately. Why am I letting my guard down? I should know the triggers by now.

I compose myself and get to the important things first—suits, shirts, and ties. Before I start, I check and double-check the front door. Cannot have any surprises sneaking up from behind. I go to the store corner where the suits reside.

Ten minutes later, I'm done with the suits. They look all squared away, and the colors are uniform within size. Now the shirts.

Still no Sam, and I'm beginning to worry.

The shirts are in good shape since during the day as I show them. I fold the ruffled shirt and neatly tuck them in the labeled plastic bag. As a result, there are a few shirts out on the table by day's end.

The ties are not bad at all. It's just a matter of straightening them all out by color.

Done. I lost track of the time, and now it's 8:30 p.m., and there's no boyfriend. Great! I'll call from the office phone to his house.

Sam picks up on the first ring. Yes, hello.

Where are you? You're about an hour late! I'm getting quite upset. I feel my blood rising and sweat dripping behind my neck. What's going on? I'm still at the store.

I should've called, but I lost the number to your work. The car is down. It's kaput. It's dead, Sam dejectedly stammers.

Sam, I had a stranger scare the hell out of me. He banged on the glass door wanting to come in and use the restroom. I told him that there was no restroom in the store, and he continued at it. I breathe. I need to trust you. Do you not understand?

I continue, If you're my backup plan, you must stay available in case something comes up, and usually something comes up. I'm working myself up again. Breathe.

Silence.

He breaks the ice. What's this all about, Lala? You know me, and I got your back always. You know that. The car went dead, and I didn't have the store number. Lala?

Silence.

I am spinning and become nauseous. Breathe. I'm holding on to the counter but reach for the desk chair and sit. I lean over and place my head between my legs. Breathe.

Lala, are you okay? Sam can't quite understand what to do.

Tell me what to do, Lala? He's at a loss.

Chapter 4

Intervention

I'm so upset with Sam that I can't see straight. Can't he see that I'm in trouble? I'm gasping for air and shaking all over.

Sam, I need you to come here and hold me and tell me that everything is okay. You think you can do that? I choke up a response.

I'll call 911, he shouts out.

No, I don't need the aid of a paramedic, nor do I need to get carted off to a hospital, I continue. What I want is a hug and your understanding. Comprendes? I end it in a strong Spanish term known to have some apparent potion setting off motion as intended.

We hang up, or I hang up on him. I am flustered and upset.

I go to the shoe area and begin straightening up the footwear. It takes