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The Elegance of the Hedgehog
The Elegance of the Hedgehog
The Elegance of the Hedgehog
Ebook372 pages5 hours

The Elegance of the Hedgehog

By Muriel Barbery and Alison Anderson

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

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  • Self-Discovery

  • Friendship

  • Family Dynamics

  • Literature

  • Identity

  • Fish Out of Water

  • Intellectual Protagonist

  • Coming of Age

  • Culture Clash

  • Unlikely Friendship

  • Wise Old Woman

  • Wise Beyond Their Years

  • Concierge

  • Love Triangle

  • Star-Crossed Lovers

  • Social Class Differences

  • Social Class

  • Japanese Culture

  • Food & Cooking

  • Emotions

About this ebook

The phenomenal New York Times bestseller that "explores the upstairs-downstairs goings-on of a posh Parisian apartment building" (Publishers Weekly).

In an elegant hôtel particulier in Paris, Renée, the concierge, is all but invisible—short, plump, middle-aged, with bunions on her feet and an addiction to television soaps. Her only genuine attachment is to her cat, Leo. In short, she's everything society expects from a concierge at a bourgeois building in an upscale neighborhood. But Renée has a secret: She furtively, ferociously devours art, philosophy, music, and Japanese culture. With biting humor, she scrutinizes the lives of the tenants—her inferiors in every way except that of material wealth.


Paloma is a twelve-year-old who lives on the fifth floor. Talented and precocious, she's come to terms with life's seeming futility and decided to end her own on her thirteenth birthday. Until then, she will continue hiding her extraordinary intelligence behind a mask of mediocrity, acting the part of an average pre-teen high on pop culture, a good but not outstanding student, an obedient if obstinate daughter.


Paloma and Renée hide their true talents and finest qualities from a world they believe cannot or will not appreciate them. But after a wealthy Japanese man named Ozu arrives in the building, they will begin to recognize each other as kindred souls, in a novel that exalts the quiet victories of the inconspicuous among us, and "teaches philosophical lessons by shrewdly exposing rich secret lives hidden beneath conventional exteriors" (Kirkus Reviews).


"The narrators' kinetic minds and engaging voices (in Alison Anderson's fluent translation) propel us ahead." —The New York Times Book Review

"Barbery's sly wit . . . bestows lightness on the most ponderous cogitations." —The New Yorker
LanguageEnglish
PublisherOpen Road Integrated Media
Release dateSep 2, 2008
ISBN9781609450137
Author

Muriel Barbery

Muriel Barbery is the author of four previous novels, including the IMPAC-shortlisted multimillion-copy bestseller The Elegance of the Hedgehog. She has lived in Kyoto, Amsterdam and Paris and now lives in the French countryside.

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Reviews for The Elegance of the Hedgehog

Rating: 3.848839700802429 out of 5 stars
4/5

4,611 ratings215 reviews

What our readers think

Readers find this title beautifully written and thought provoking. The relationship between Renee and Paloma could have been explored more. The characters are memorable and the vocabulary adds depth to the story. Some readers found it emotionally impactful and it may bring tears to your eyes."

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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Oct 8, 2019

    I found this book to be a beautiful well-written fable-like story. It was very unusual but at the same time clever and witty. The main characters are two intellectuals. Renee Michel is a 54 year-old concierge in a Parisian apartment house. She decides to become what society expects her to be. Paloma Jesse is a 12 year-old resident who merely wants to be average but she decides she's going to commit suicide on her 13th birthday because she thinks life is meaningless. When Kakuro Ono, a Japanese businessman, moves in their 3-way friendship causes Renee and Paloma to see life differently. The book is mainly about relationships and having people in our lives that make us feel comfortable to be ourselves and not what other people expect us to be. It also teaches us to find those special moments that give us a reason to live. I found myself really enjoying the ending and would have to say that looking back on the book it was very thought provoking. I would highly recommend this novel to those who love books that make you think about the meaning of life.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Oct 8, 2019

    Life can change in an instant. You see the great abyss. You have it all figured out. And then suddenly, it seems, your outlook, your life, changes profoundly. It changes because the love and respect others have for you and because you begin to see into the hearts of others.

    For a little while I was glad to be among those who can appreciate some of the references to philosophical concepts, classic art, and highfalutin vocabulary. In spite of this distraction of erudite references and learned vocabulary I enjoyed the story very much and might very well read the book again in a few years, maybe more slowly.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Oct 8, 2019

    It has taken me a while to review this because it took me a couple of attempts to read the book. There's no disputing it's incredible well written - the language and imagery is beautiful - but I didn't find this an easy read. I have nothing against a book that's challenging but it does mean that this is a book for a certain frame of mind and one to be read when you can give it your full, unwavering attention.Muriel Barbery's writing deserves that. She has a wonderful grasp of language and her descriptive writing is superb. Even weeks after reading a section of the book I can still see it in my mind as if I had been there. That's impressive writing.I look forward to reading more of Ms Barbery's writing in the future!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Oct 8, 2019

    The two main female protagonists and narrators are living in the same apartment building in a rich quarter in Paris.The first one is Renée, a concierge in her fifties. She’s not your stereotypical concierge, because she reads a lot and knows much. As she doesn’t want to stand out, she hides her knowledge and plays the “naïve” concierge.The second one is a twelve-year-old girl called Paloma. She lives with her parents and her sister in one of the 200m2 apartments. The precocious little girl notices that everybody is living in some kind of goldfish bowl. She’s experienced too much absurdity in live and that’s why she plans to kill herself on her thirteenth birthday.The book now unfolds the inner monologue of Renée and Paloma’s diary entries about everything under the sun. You can find a lot of social criticism and philosophy on these pages.***I expected way more from the whole book, because I had heard so much positive comments about it. Personally the book was a little bit to calm – following the protagonist’s thoughts just got boring and sometimes even annoying. Two examples: Renée explains that she plays dumb, because people expect that from her. But she has got her own prejudices against the other people. She just uses their assumed prejudices as an excuse to stay alone. She doesn’t give them even a chance to get to know her. And at one point Paloma criticizes how everybody is just talking and not doing anything and how words mean nothing. Then I have to ask myself why she wants to write down her thoughts – to leave something back – at all.Barbery just wears out all the potential stereotypes: Only poor people know how to live right. Every school/college/university education is worth nothing, because only native cunning (I prefer the German term of “Bauernschläue” = “farmer’s intelligence”) is necessary in life. As Barbery marks Renée as an atypical concierge, she strengthens the prejudice that the “every-day” concierge must be naïve. In my opinion these stereotypes larded with a few philosophical excursuses are the reason for the book’s success: Barbery writes down what everyone somehow already knew or thought.I was thinking about sorting the book out directly after having finished it. But maybe it’s a book I can fully enjoy only in 10 years from now, when I’m a little bit older. We'll see about that.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Oct 8, 2019

    ★ ★ ★Audio was done by Cassandra Morris and Barbara Rosenblat .They provided a good, fast paced presentation and were pleasant to the ear.It was just one of those reads that I deviate from the general positive reaction.There seemed to have been many noteworthy thoughts but I had a hard timemaintaining the interest level that the author deserves.-------------But, yes, it did have a significant ending.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Oct 8, 2019

    The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery

    ★★★★ ½ ♥

    First thing I noticed – I could not read this book when tired. The ramblings, especially of Renee often just left me confused if I was already falling asleep. With that being said, when I was awake and lucid to this world, I really enjoyed this book. I thought the difference in class lines and ages of the main characters and how regardless of that they are practically one-in-the-same.

    When I first started this book, I wasn’t too thrilled. I had trouble getting into it and sometimes the philosophical thoughts went over my head. But as the story continued, I realllllllly got into the characters. I absolutely adored Renee, Paloma, and later on Kakuro and how they all grew in different ways, regardless of whether they were 54 years old or 12 years old. So much to learn. And towards the end, I started really soaking in the book and its words. The ending surprised me and I found myself crying through the last 50 pages of the story, absorbed into it all so much. This is a rare case where I book went from mediocre for me with a 3 star rating and quickly raised towards the end, becoming a favorite for me. I am glad I stuck through the beginning to get to the meat of this beautiful book – another one for me to just soak in for awhile.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Oct 8, 2019

    3.5 stars
    Finally done with it, will review it some other time.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Oct 8, 2019

    One of the very few novels I will read more than once.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Oct 8, 2019

    The book is an elegant perusal of philosophy and art and the question of what makes us human. That said, it is charmingly (and disarmingly) told through the eyes of two disparate characters in an apartment building -- the concierge, and a precocious pre-teenager -- who become unlikely friends. Instead of cliff hanger chapter endings, chapters end with pithy insights that reverberate beyond the page. I often had to put the book down, merely to savor reflecting on what I'd read so far. And yet the story pushes ever forward, so that finally I was unable to stop reading, but this was because I felt like a nosy neighbor in the apartment building who just had to find out what was going to happen to the building's most interesting neighbors.This book both massages your brain and pierces the heart. The author plumbs the feelings of her characters and distills their observations in a way that opens up small moments of beauty in the simple act, the glimpse from the corner of the eye, the casual remark that takes one by surprise.A lovely book, and one that invites re-reading many times.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Oct 8, 2019

    Copy on the back cover says something like, 'Resistance is futile. You might as well go ahead and buy a copy before someone in your book club suggests it.'

    Sure enough, someone in my book club suggested it, which has the strange effect of ramming home how much of a cliche I have become! No one likes to be predictable...

    The story reminded me of lots of things, and of people... Sophie's World first and foremost, for its philosophy embedded in the fictional life of a woman/girl. Interestingly, Palome's birthday is June 16, which is one day after Sophie's of Sophie's World. (I only remember that because my own birthday is the same as Sophie's.)

    Renee was an endearing character who reminded me of a man I worked with briefly in a postal sorting room. He had worked in the basement of a charity housing corporation all his life after a brief stint as a bus conductor and told me one day that he had many regrets, mainly because as a youth he'd showed a strength in mathematics. Yet his whole life was spent sorting mail on minimum wage, listening to Christian sermons every day after lunch.

    Renee also reminded me of my time as a cleaner at the university where I studied concurrently. It's true that even middle class people look straight through people in such lowly positions, and treat the concierge/cleaner as being in possession of less than the full quid.

    Also in the box of books was the film adaptation, which is really quite close to the plot of the book minus a lot of the philosophical musings. The film, like the book, feels very French. Palome was played disturbingly accurately by a young actress who reminded me that I'm not a fan of the precocious child as a device in films. I don't mind them quite so much in novels though, for some reason.

    I'll be interested to see what other members of bookclub thought of this novel. Overall it felt self-consciously literary to me, but I'll acknowledge that this is probably due partly to my own shortcomings as reader. I feel I should have enjoyed this more, partly because I'm a bit of a Japanophile myself, like the main characters, and love films, and have recently been fascinated by phenomenology. So I'm not sure why I don't feel a bit more positive about this book.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Apr 15, 2024

    This book deceives. As you read it, you start notícing that it is pure manichaeism of a leftist author. Which is always bad in literature, no matter where it comes from.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Dec 21, 2023

    It took me awhile to get into the book, but I persevered. About half way through it began to pick up. I was enjoying the read. At times, the writing struck me as a bit affected or pretentious but the good far outweighed any little bits here and there when I rolled my eyes. But the ending? Geez Louise. Pissed me off
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Jan 14, 2023

    Don't read this book if you're not ready to cry your heart out.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Sep 30, 2022

    You have to stick with this book. It took me several stops and starts, but when Mr. Ozu enters the story, it really takes off and I hated to see it end. It is very intelligent and philosophical and at first I couldn't get into that mindset. I had to find a time when there were NO distractions, and that is not easy. I could write an entire email on my ordeal replacing the batteries in my booklight so I could even read the darn book at night. LOL
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Aug 14, 2021

    Beautifully written and thought provoking. I only wish more time was spent on the relationship between Renee and Paloma.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Apr 7, 2021

    Oh how I love a quirky character. So many snippets of brilliance in the work. It took me a few chapters to adjust to the vocabulary and then I realized it’s importance to the story.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Dec 11, 2021

    This book will linger in my thoughts. Such characters that are now feel in my heart.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    May 23, 2022

    This very French book is amusing, engrossing, and ultimately moving, despite the fact that it spends A LOT of time musing on various philosophical issues. First, the easy part -- the book is very funny, in terms of phrase and in situational humor. The take-down of the French haute bourgeosie is shattering -- there are differences between this class and our American liberal elite, but the similarities (and absurdities) are striking. And the language is a delight to read. Although it is in translation, it captures playfulness, elegance, and self awareness; very French. The central characters grow increasingly endearing and interesting, and I really cared what happened to them. The plot is slow moving, but by the end I was caught up in it. Second, the potential negative -- all that philosophy. At first I found this distracting, but gradually came to accept the book in its own terms, and see the revelations about character woven into the philosophizing. A book that I feel really deserves just four stars, but I gave it five because I enjoyed it so much.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5

    Mar 12, 2022

    yeah - this just wasn't my cup of tea ...
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Feb 18, 2022

    Pretentious characters and language, but not necessarily a pretentious book. Engaging after a slow and puzzling start.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Feb 3, 2022

    If you won't enjoy jokes about Husserl's philosophy, this might not be for you. But if you are patient and ready for a glimpse of thawed-out life, read it.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Dec 8, 2021

    I enjoyed this book, the two point of view characters Renée and Paloma couldn't be more different except for the fact that they are both hiding their true selves from the world and the people around them. Renée is 54 years old and Paloma is 12 but when both characters finally get to know each other they form a real bond. Ozu is the catalyst for the chemistry that brings Renée out of her shell and Paloma away from her suicidal thoughts and plan.

  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Aug 2, 2024

    Some ? are #Life, others are #Philosophy, this book combines both. #Elegance does not require #Wealth or position, but rather #Simplicity, #Humility, and #Authenticity. Each page is a #Reflection of how you can find #Beauty and meaning in everyday life, despite appearances and limitations?????? (Translated from Spanish)
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5

    Sep 5, 2021

    I read this book to the end, and I feel it is overly pretentious. Unfortunately it re-enforces the prejudice I have against European "literary fiction".

    The book consists of the internal monologues of its two main protagonists, one a middle aged concierge of humble background who is also a highly intellectual autodidact, and trying to hide this from her employers. The second is a pre-teen suicidal girl, who is also very intelligent and trying to find meaning in life before the day she set for her suicide.

    The first part is full of pretentious philosophizing and literary name-dropping, where nothing happens. This is punctuated by some minor goings-on and lamenting of the base nature of the rich inhabitants of the residents of the building. The plot gets going and wraps up in the final quarter of the novel. It could have made an interesting short story.

    I could not relate to any of the characters, and the story was a muddle of names and peripheral characters which I could not tell apart. In the end they all blended into one mess of spoiled rich people, with various degrees of neurosis. I also agree with what some reviewers referred to as Japanese Fetishism, which I found somewhat discordant.


    I am glad I borrowed this book from the library it would have been a waste of shelf space. Perhaps it was written for people of superior intellect, who would understand the waxing lyrical about some Dutch still life and all the philosophical theorizing involved. Another possibility is that like the Emperor's New Clothes it is made so dense and high-brow that the readers would be ashamed to admit they missed the point and pretend it was wonderful.
    On the brighter side: It has tons of lofty descriptions and interesting turns of phrase (I admire the effort of the translator), and it is one good way of enriching your vocabulary. It also inspired me to re-read Tolstoy.

  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5

    Jul 3, 2021

    adult fiction. Sort of interesting but ultimately too philosophical or pseudo-philosophical to hold my attention span.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Apr 9, 2021

    A curmedgeon and a 12 year old girl's friendship in an apartment house in France is the basis of this book. It was translated from French. I found it arduous, but it could be because of writing style and cadence is different than whaat I am use to.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Apr 5, 2021

    Loved Loved Loved Loved this book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Mar 31, 2021

    This is one of those tasty treats that you hear about and then, finally, make time to read. Barbery does a splendid job of observing and subverting stereotypes, privilege and class structures. 54-year-old Renee Michel is the concierge of number 7 Rue de Grenelle. 12-year-old Paloma Josse is the daughter of a parliamentarian whose family at number 7 Rue de Grenelle. Both have a secret. These two characters are the reader's eyes and ears as they observe, critique and compare the lives of fellow residents of this Parisian left-bank apartment building. Barbery's prose and emotional pacing made this delightful read. Occasionally she takes a detour to discuss art or philosophy or literature but, this adds to the inner-lives of the two main characters and is never a distraction. If you're after a book that feels light, yet has substance and wit then this may just be your next read.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Oct 8, 2019

    Humanity. It’s what The Elegance of The Hedgehog is about. Renée has been the concierge of 7 Rue de Grenelle in Paris for twenty-seven years. Known as Madame Michel, she is intelligent and well read, particularly in philosophy, but conceals it in order to “correspond so very well to what social prejudice has collectively construed to be a typical French concierge.”Paloma Josse is a twelve year-old resident of 7 Rue de Grenelle, where she lives with her wealthy, clueless parents and older sister. Highly intelligent, preternaturally observant and “hypersensitive to anything that is dissonant,” she hides her true self from most people.Kakuro Ozu, a wealthy Japanese widower moves into the building. He, Renée, and Paloma form a friendship as three people who appreciate each other and a different way of seeing life from most other people. As they become close, Renée feels that her status as a concierge, and a past incident in her life, doesn’t allow her to consort with the wealthy, particularly Kakuro Ozu.The Elegance of The Hedgehog is has beauty, thoughts about the meaning of life, and wonderful moments throughout. It’s a delicious and exceptional book.

    1 person found this helpful

  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Sep 25, 2023

    Alternating between engaging, sharp, interesting writing and sentimental manipulation, this book drove me crazy. On the one hand, the main character was extremely interesting with so many fascinating inner debates about art, beautiful, class conflict, personal responsibility, happiness and more. On the other hand, the romance in the latter half of the book betrayed the convincing portrait of that main character and substituted maudlin, superficial romantic drivel for the philosophical musings that were so wonderful. I tore through it and found it hard to put down, but was annoyed about half the time.

Book preview

The Elegance of the Hedgehog - Muriel Barbery

Europa Editions

116 East 16th Street

New York, NY 10003

info@europaeditions.com

www.europaeditions.com

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously.

Copyright © 2006 by Editions Gallimard, Paris

First publication 2008 by Europa Editions

Translation by Alison Anderson

   Original title: L'élégance du herisson

Translation copyright 2008 by Europa Editions

All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.

This work, published as part of a program providing publication assistance, received financial support from the French Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the Cultural Services of the French Embassy in the United States and FACE (French American Cultural Exchange).

Cover/Emanuele Ragnisco

www.mekkanografici.com

Cover photo © Randy Faris/Corbis

ISBN 9781609450137

Muriel Barbery

THE ELEGANCE OF THE HEDGEHOG

Translated from the French by Alison Anderson

For Stéphane, with whom I wrote this book

MARX

(Preamble)

1. Whosoever Sows Desire

Marx has completely changed the way I view the world," declared the Pallières boy this morning, although ordinarily he says nary a word to me.

Antoine Pallières, prosperous heir to an old industrial dynasty, is the son of one of my eight employers. There he stood, the most recent eructation of the ruling corporate elite—a class that reproduces itself solely by means of virtuous and proper hiccups—beaming at his discovery, sharing it with me without thinking or ever dreaming for a moment that I might actually understand what he was referring to. How could the laboring classes understand Marx? Reading Marx is an arduous task, his style is lofty, the prose is subtle and the thesis complex.

And that is when I very nearly—foolishly—gave myself away.

"You ought to read The German Ideology," I told him. Little cretin in his conifer green duffle coat.

To understand Marx and understand why he is mistaken, one must read The German Ideology. It is the anthropological cornerstone on which all his exhortations for a new world would be built, and on which a sovereign certainty is established: mankind, doomed to its own ruin through desire, would do better to confine itself to its own needs. In a world where the hubris of desire has been vanquished, a new social organization can emerge, cleansed of struggle, oppression and deleterious hierarchies.

Whosoever sows desire harvests oppression, I nearly murmured, as if only my cat were listening to me.

But Antoine Pallières, whose repulsive and embryonic whiskers have nothing the least bit feline about them, is staring at me, uncertain of my strange words. As always, I am saved by the inability of living creatures to believe anything that might cause the walls of their little mental assumptions to crumble. Concierges do not read The German Ideology; hence, they would certainly be incapable of quoting the eleventh thesis on Feuerbach. Moreover, a concierge who reads Marx must be contemplating subversion, must have sold her soul to that devil, the trade union. That she might simply be reading Marx to elevate her mind is so incongruous a conceit that no member of the bourgeoisie could ever entertain it.

Say hello to your mother, I murmur as I close the door in his face, hoping that the complete dissonance between my two sentences will be veiled by the might of millennial prejudice.

2. The Miracles of Art

My name is Renée. I am fifty-four years old. For twenty-seven years I have been the concierge at number 7, rue de Grenelle, a fine hôtel particulier with a courtyard and private gardens, divided into eight luxury apartments, all of which are inhabited, all of which are immense. I am a widow, I am short, ugly, and plump, I have bunions on my feet and, if I am to credit certain early mornings of self-inflicted disgust, the breath of a mammoth. I did not go to college, I have always been poor, discreet, and insignificant. I live alone with my cat, a big, lazy tom who has no distinguishing features other than the fact that his paws smell bad when he is annoyed. Neither he nor I make any effort to take part in the social doings of our respective species. Because I am rarely friendly—though always polite—I am not liked, but am tolerated nonetheless: I correspond so very well to what social prejudice has collectively construed to be a typical French concierge that I am one of the multiple cogs that make the great universal illusion turn, the illusion according to which life has a meaning that can be easily deciphered. And since it has been written somewhere that concierges are old, ugly and sour, so has it been branded in fiery letters on the pediment of that same imbecilic firmament that the aforementioned concierges have rather large dithering cats who sleep all day on cushions covered with crocheted cases.

Similarly, it has been decreed that concierges watch television interminably while their rather large cats doze, and that the entrance to the building must smell of pot-au-feu, cabbage soup, or a country-style cassoulet. I have the extraordinary good fortune to be the concierge of a very high-class sort of building. It was so humiliating for me to have to cook such loathsome dishes that when Monsieur de Broglie—the State Councilor on the first floor—intervened (an intervention he described to his wife as being courteous but firm, whose only intention was to rid our communal habitat of such plebeian effluvia), it came as an immense relief, one I concealed as best I could beneath an expression of reluctant compliance.

That was twenty-seven years ago. Since then, I have gone every day to the butcher’s to buy a slice of ham or some calf’s liver, which I slip into my net bag between my packet of noodles and my bunch of carrots. I then obligingly flaunt these pauper’s victuals—now much improved by the noteworthy fact that they do not smell—because I am a pauper in a house full of rich people and this display nourishes both the consensual cliché and my cat Leo, who has become rather large by virtue of these meals that should have been mine, and who stuffs himself liberally and noisily with macaroni and butter, and pork from the delicatessen, while I am free—without any olfactory disturbances or anyone suspecting a thing—to indulge my own culinary proclivities.

Far more irksome was the issue of the television. In my late husband’s day, I did go along with it, for the constancy of his viewing spared me the chore of watching. From the hallway of the building you could hear the sound of the thing, and that sufficed to perpetuate the charade of social hierarchy, but once Lucien had passed away I had to think hard to find a way to keep up appearances. Alive, he freed me from this iniquitous obligation; dead, he has deprived me of his lack of culture, the indispensable bulwark against other people’s suspicions.

I found a solution thanks to a non-buzzer.

A chime linked to an infrared mechanism now alerts me to the comings and goings in the hallway, which has eliminated the need for anyone to buzz to notify me of their presence if I happen to be out of earshot. For on such occasions I am actually in the back room, where I spend most of my hours of leisure and where, sheltered from the noise and smells that my condition imposes, I can live as I please, without being deprived of the information vital to any sentry: who is coming in, who is going out, with whom, and at what time.

Thus, the residents going down the hall would hear the muffled sounds indicating a television was on, and as they tend to lack rather than abound in imagination, they would form a mental image of the concierge sprawled in front of her television set. As for me, cozily installed in my lair, I heard nothing but I knew that someone was going by. So I would go to the adjacent room and peek through the spy-hole located opposite the stairway and, well hidden behind the white net curtains, I could inquire discreetly as to the identity of the passerby.

With the advent of videocassettes and, subsequently, the DVD divinity, things changed radically, much to the enrichment of my happy hours. As it is not terribly common to come across a concierge waxing ecstatic over Death in Venice or to hear strains of Mahler wafting from her loge, I delved into my hard-earned conjugal savings and bought a second television set that I could operate in my hideaway. Thus, the television in the front room, guardian of my clandestine activities, could bleat away and I was no longer forced to listen to inane nonsense fit for the brain of a clam—I was in the back room, perfectly euphoric, my eyes filling with tears, in the miraculous presence of Art.

Profound Thought No. 1

Follow the stars

In the goldfish bowl

An end

Apparently, now and again adults take the time to sit down and contemplate what a disaster their life is. They complain without understanding and, like flies constantly banging against the same old windowpane, they buzz around, suffer, waste away, get depressed then wonder how they got caught up in this spiral that is taking them where they don’t want to go. The most intelligent among them turn their malaise into a religion: oh, the despicable vacuousness of bourgeois existence! Cynics of this kind frequently dine at Papa’s table: What has become of the dreams of our youth? they ask, with a smug, disillusioned air. Those years are long gone, and life’s a bitch. I despise this false lucidity that comes with age. The truth is that they are just like everyone else: nothing more than kids without a clue about what has happened to them, acting big and tough when in fact all they want is to burst into tears.

And yet there’s nothing to understand. The problem is that children believe what adults say and, once they’re adults themselves, they exact their revenge by deceiving their own children. Life has meaning and we grown-ups know what it is is the universal lie that everyone is supposed to believe. Once you become an adult and you realize that’s not true, it’s too late. The mystery remains intact, but all your available energy has long ago been wasted on stupid things. All that’s left is to anesthetize yourself by trying to hide the fact that you can’t find any meaning in your life, and then, the better to convince yourself, you deceive your own children.

All our family acquaintances have followed the same path: their youth spent trying to make the most of their intelligence, squeezing their studies like a lemon to make sure they’d secure a spot among the elite, then the rest of their lives wondering with a flabbergasted look on their faces why all that hopefulness has led to such a vain existence. People aim for the stars, and they end up like goldfish in a bowl. I wonder if it wouldn’t be simpler just to teach children right from the start that life is absurd. That might deprive you of a few good moments in your childhood but it would save you a considerable amount of time as an adult—not to mention the fact that you’d be spared at least one traumatic experience, i.e. the goldfish bowl.

I am twelve years old, I live at 7, rue de Grenelle in an apartment for rich people. My parents are rich, my family is rich and my sister and I are, therefore, as good as rich. My father is a parliamentarian and before that he was a minister: no doubt he’ll end up in the top spot, emptying out the wine cellar of the residence at the Hôtel de Lassay. As for my mother . . . Well, my mother isn’t exactly a genius but she is educated. She has a PhD in literature. She writes her dinner invitations without mistakes and spends her time bombarding us with literary references (Colombe, stop trying to act like Madame Guermantes, or Pumpkin, you are a regular Sanseverina).

Despite all that, despite all this good fortune and all this wealth, I have known for a very long time that the final destination is the goldfish bowl. How do I know? Well, the fact is I am very intelligent. Exceptionally intelligent. Even now, if you look at children my age, there’s an abyss between us. And since I don’t really want to stand out, and since intelligence is very highly rated in my family—an exceptionally gifted child would never have a moment’s peace—I try to scale back my performance at school, but even so I always come first. You might think that to pretend to be simply of average intelligence when you are twelve years old like me and have the level of a senior in college is easy. Well, not at all. It really takes an effort to appear stupider than you are. But, in a way, this does keep me from dying of boredom: all the time I don’t need to spend learning and understanding I use to imitate the ordinary good pupils—the way they do things, the answers they give, their progress, their concerns and their minor errors. I read everything that Constance Baret writes—she is second in the class—all her math and French and history and that way I find out what I have to do: for French a string of words that are coherent and spelled correctly; for math the mechanical reproduction of operations devoid of meaning; and for history a list of events joined by logical connections. But even if you compare me to an adult, I am much smarter than the vast majority. That’s the way it is. I’m not particularly proud of this because it’s not my doing. But one thing is sure—there’s no way I’m going to end up in the goldfish bowl. I’ve thought this through quite carefully. Even for someone like me who is supersmart and gifted in her studies and different from everyone else, in fact superior to the vast majority—even for me life is already all plotted out and so dismal you could cry: no one seems to have thought of the fact that if life is absurd, being a brilliant success has no greater value than being a failure. It’s just more comfortable. And even then: I think lucidity gives your success a bitter taste, whereas mediocrity still leaves hope for something.

So I’ve made up my mind. I am about to leave childhood behind and, in spite of my conviction that life is a farce, I don’t think I can hold out to the end. We are, basically, programmed to believe in something that doesn’t exist, because we are living creatures; we don’t want to suffer. So we spend all our energy persuading ourselves that there are things that are worthwhile and that that is why life has meaning. I may be very intelligent, but I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to struggle against this biological tendency. When I join the adults in the rat race, will I still be able to confront this feeling of absurdity? I don’t think so. That is why I’ve made up my mind: at the end of the school year, on the day I turn thirteen, June sixteenth , I will commit suicide. Careful now, I have no intention of making a big deal out of it, as if it were an act of bravery or defiance. Besides, it’s in my best interest that no one suspect a thing. Adults have this neurotic relationship with death, it gets blown out of all proportion, they make a huge deal out of it when in fact it’s really the most banal thing there is. What I care about, actually, is not the thing in itself, but the way it’s done. My Japanese side, obviously, is inclined toward seppuku. When I say my Japanese side, what I mean is my love for Japan. I’m in the eighth grade so, naturally, I chose Japanese as my second foreign language. The teacher isn’t great, he swallows his words in French and spends his time scratching his head as if he were puzzled, but the textbook isn’t bad and since the start of the year I’ve made huge progress. I hope in a few months to be able to read my favorite manga in the original. Maman doesn’t understand why a little-girl-as-gifted-as-you-are wants to read manga. I haven’t even bothered to explain to her that manga in Japanese doesn’t mean anything more than comic book. She thinks I’m high on subculture and I haven’t set her straight on that. In short, in a few months I might be able to read Taniguchi in Japanese. But back to what we were talking about: I’ll have to do it before June sixteenth because on June sixteenth I’m committing suicide. But not seppuku. It would be full of significance and beauty but . . . well . . . I really have no desire to suffer. In fact, I would hate to suffer; I think that if you have decided to die, it is precisely because your decision is in the nature of things, so you must do it in a gentle way. Dying must be a delicate passage, a sweet slipping away to rest. There are people who commit suicide by jumping out of the window of the fourth floor or swallowing bleach or even hanging themselves! That’s senseless! Obscene, even. What is the point of dying if not to not suffer? I’ve devoted great care to planning how I’ll exit the scene: every month for the last year I’ve been pilfering a sleeping pill from Maman’s box on the night table. She takes so many that she wouldn’t even notice if I took one every day, but I’ve decided to be particularly careful. You can’t leave anything to chance when you’ve made a decision that most people won’t understand. You can’t imagine how quickly people will get in the way of your most heartfelt plans, in the name of such trifles as the meaning of life or love of mankind. Oh and then there is the sacred nature of childhood.

Therefore, I am headed slowly toward the date of June sixteenth and I’m not afraid. A few regrets, maybe. But the world, in its present state, is no place for princesses. Having said that, simply because you’ve made plans to die doesn’t mean you have to vegetate like some rotting piece of cabbage. Quite the contrary. The main thing isn’t about dying or how old you are when you die, it’s what you are doing the moment you die. In Taniguchi the heroes die while climbing Mount Everest. Since I haven’t the slightest chance of taking a stab at K2 or the Grandes Jorasses before June sixteenth, my own personal Everest will be an intellectual endeavor. I have set as my goal to have the greatest number possible of profound thoughts, and to write them down in this notebook: even if nothing has any meaning, the mind, at least, can give it a shot, don’t you think? But since I have this big thing about Japan, I’ve added one requirement: these profound thoughts have to be formulated like a little Japanese poem: either a haiku (three lines) or a tanka (five lines).

My favorite haiku is by Basho.

The fisherman’s hut

Mixed with little shrimp

Some crickets!

Now that’s no goldfish bowl, is it, that’s what I call poetry!

But in the world I live in there is less poetry than in a Japanese fisherman’s hut. And do you think it is normal for four people to live in four thousand square feet when tons of other people, perhaps some poètes maudits among them, don’t even have a decent place to live and are crammed together fifteen or twenty in two hundred square feet? When, this summer, I heard on the news that some Africans had died because a fire had started in the stairway of their run-down tenement, I had an idea. Those Africans have the goldfish bowl right there in front of them, all day long—they can’t escape through storytelling. But my parents and Colombe are convinced they’re swimming in the ocean just because they live in their four thousand square feet with their piles of furniture and paintings.

So, on June sixteenth I intend to refresh their pea-brain memories: I’m going to set fire to the apartment (with the barbecue lighter). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a criminal: I’ll do it when there’s no one around (the sixteenth of June is a Saturday and on Saturdays Colombe goes to see Tibère, Maman is at yoga, Papa is at his club and as for me, I stay home), I’ll evacuate the cats through the window and I’ll call the fire department early enough so that there won’t be any victims. And then I’ll go off quietly to Grandma’s with my pills, to sleep.

With no more apartment and no more daughter, maybe they’ll give some thought to all those dead Africans, don’t you suppose?

CAMELLIAS

1. An Aristocrat

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, Manuela, my only friend, comes for tea with me in my loge. Manuela is a simple woman and twenty years wasted stalking dust in other people’s homes has in no way robbed her of her elegance. Besides, stalking dust is a very euphemistic way to put it. But where the rich are concerned, things are rarely called by their true name.

I empty wastebaskets full of sanitary napkins, she says, with her gentle, slightly hissing accent. I wipe up dog vomit, clean the bird cage—you’d never believe the amount of poop such tiny animals can make—and I scrub the toilets. You talk about dust? A fine affair!

You must understand that when she comes down to see me at two in the afternoon, on Tuesdays after the Arthens, and on Thursdays after the de Broglies, Manuela has been polishing the toilets with a Q-tip, and though they may be gilded with gold leaf, they are just as filthy and reeking as any toilets on the planet, because if there is one thing the rich do share with the poor, however unwillingly, it is their nauseating intestines that always manage to find a place to free themselves of that which makes them stink.

So Manuela deserves our praise. Although she’s been sacrificed at the altar of a world where the most thankless tasks have been allotted to some women while others merely hold their noses without raising a finger, she nevertheless strives relentlessly to maintain a degree of refinement that goes far beyond any gold leaf gilding, a fortiori of the sanitary variety.

When you eat a walnut, you must use a tablecloth, says Manuela, removing from her old shopping bag a little hamper made of light wood in which some almond tuiles are nestled among curls of carmine tissue paper. I make coffee that we shall not drink, but its wafting odor delights us both, and in silence we sip a cup of green tea as we nibble on our tuiles.

Just as I am a permanent traitor to my archetype, so is Manuela: to the Portuguese cleaning woman she is a felon oblivious of her condition. This girl from Faro, born under a fig tree after seven siblings and before six more, forced in childhood to work the fields and scarcely out of it to marry a mason and take the road of exile, mother of four children who are French by birthright but whom society looks upon as thoroughly Portuguese—this girl from Faro, as I was saying, who wears the requisite black support stockings and a kerchief on her head, is an aristocrat. An authentic one, of the kind whose entitlement you cannot contest: it is etched onto her very heart, it mocks titles and people with handles

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