Harnessing the Ego: A Survival Guide for Professionals

By Joel Krech

In a plain-spoken mixture of societal reproach and individual self-help, Joel Krech presents an approach for managing the ego while shaping the course of our own lives and interacting with others. As a former prison guard, military officer, and Fortune 500 manager, Krech asks, "what really drives us to forget the lessons of our childhood and treat ourselves and others poorly, even when we have justification to do so? Why do we consciously or subconsciously think we must act that way?" This book examines the role of the ego in those decisions. Through a series of short stories told to the reader in the setting of a conversation taking place in the author's backyard, Krech shares how the ego can be harnessed, managed, and controlled to a good and virtuous effect to benefit both the reader and the people in their life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Aug 25, 2023
• ISBN: 9798350917321

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Harnessing the Ego

A Survival Guide for Professionals

©2023, Joel Krech

The views expressed in this publication are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Department of Defense or the U.S. government. The public release clearance of this publication by the Department of Defense does not imply Department of Defense endorsement or factual accuracy of the material.

ISBN 979-8-35091-731-4

ISBN eBook 979-8-35091-732-1

For Lindsey

First, Gratitude

I have no idea how or where I learned about the importance of gratitude. How do we internalize concepts like that? Does it happen after we hear a certain number of messages about its importance, so that the repetition of the message combined with a willingness to think about it causes something to click in our minds? Maybe. What I do know is that at some point, during our daily morning walks with the dogs, I started looking forward to seeing the sunrise. That different way that the sky looks as the atmospheric elements react with each other became a grounding start to my day, a kind of habit of experiencing that moment and then thinking about the tasks of the day and how I would accomplish them.

The beauty of that sunrise, in that moment with my wife and dogs, is only a small part of the day, but it’s one of the good parts that prepares me for the tasks and conflicts coming my way. Like that sunrise, many of the moments with other people in which I learned and grew were objectively minor, perhaps even banal moments. But, those moments are when we learn. Those moments that I experienced were cumulative and gave me the base of perspective and ability to be effective. Those moments were everything, and for that I’m grateful beyond my ability to express with words.

Our lives are not a series of major events that interrupt our more mundane daily tasks of work and play; time doesn’t work that way. Every day brings moments of learning and moments in which we impact others. The people who have taught me the most about hard work and long-term effectiveness did so in the sincerest way, by demonstrating those lessons with their actions. In most cases those lessons weren’t part of some dedicated mentoring relationship, but I still learned from them. Our teachers and mentors enter our lives and then inevitably leave as our journeys take us to different places. Because of that, those who I’m most grateful to wouldn’t recognize every other name I’m writing here. They may not even think they were teaching me something when for a relatively short amount of time they were correcting, encouraging, or just putting up with me.

That is the reality of our longest-lasting contributions; we don’t always know about the positive effects we have on others. In an attempt to rectify that situation, this book is my thank you note to Charles (Chuck) Tobritzhofer, Dan Ahlness, Martin Pansch, Keith Walthall, Mark Overstreet, Tara Dziengel, Ruth Morton, Dan Goldenberg, Brent Baker, Tom Lyons, and Dave Trotter.

While I wrote this book Justin Lawlor, Jennifer Nevers, Kelsey Leigh Hussain, Rebecca Peterson, and Katie Thacker gave me much-needed candid comments, criticism, and encouragement.

My wife Lindsey is the kindest and most generous person I know. Because of our time together, I’ve been able to improve in those areas, and her presence in my life made this book possible.

To hold our tongues when everyone is gossiping, to smile without hostility at people and institutions, to compensate for the shortage of love in the world with more love in small, private matters; to be more faithful in our work, to show greater patience, to forgo the cheap revenge obtainable from mockery and criticism: all these are things we can do.

—Hermann Hesse

Characters

(in order of appearance):

The author: narrating the book from his backyard

The ghost of poet, author, and painter Hermann Hesse

Louise Alambar: migrant worker and Grandmother

Mary (a fictional character): manager at Universal Widget Corporation

George (a fictional character): senior manager at Universal Widget Corporation

The Founder (a fictional character): founder at Universal Widget Corporation

Retired Man (a fictional character): retired employee and small business owner

Peter (a fictional character): employee at Universal Widget Corporation

Table of Contents

Introduction

1. Encouragement

2. The Operations Order

3. The Individual

4. Power

5. Kant and the Ego

6. Leadership

7. The Cycle of Ego Management

8. A Tough Morning but a Better Afternoon

9. The Day After You Finish This Book

Introduction

I walked through the mud of the U.S. military’s Victory Base Complex near Baghdad, Iraq and entered a hastily-built building called a Troop Medical Center. It was the spring of 2009 and I was suffering through some annoying respiratory pain. The medical clinic was built with a mixture of plywood and particle board, and contained the industrial sounds and smells of a typical primary care doctor’s office. There wasn’t any 80’s synth pop elevator music playing from speakers installed in the ceiling, but every other sensory indicator of medical care was present. As I described my symptoms to the doctor he nodded knowingly, and told me this was a common complaint among troops in the area due to the dust, rock fragments, and other particulate matter in the air. I don’t remember whether I nodded acceptance upon hearing that, but I probably did. It made sense, after all, and I was at least mildly interested in the root cause of my symptoms even if I really just wanted something to make them stop.

The doctor prescribed some steroids, and my symptoms subsided and then disappeared. The concept of burn pit exposure and airborne hazards in general wasn’t yet in our full collective awareness. I personally didn’t understand the scale of the problem until years later.¹ I don’t know if my symptoms were due to my exposure to the titanium and other metals in that dust, but I’ve realized and accepted that I’m probably carrying some metal in my lungs, even 14 years later. That metal is part of me.

Every job I’ve had has consisted of working with an understanding that there are some certain things and also some decisions and judgments to make. The certain things are comfortable, and the decisions and judgments exist in a higher realm of how we live and work and decide how we will live. The metal in my lungs not only doesn’t provide certainty, it introduces a degree of uncertainty to my life. I suppose I could hate it. Okay, done. I hate it. Now what? I can create some certainty, and I’ve done that by deciding not to become too comfortable with the concept of someday. Tomorrow is never guaranteed and my unseen metal travel souvenirs remind me of that fact. I’m therefore writing this book now instead of waiting until some expected but not guaranteed day when my career is over, and I’m retired and bored and thinking about how I can continue to mentor young professionals starting their careers.

This book describes our relationships with personal finance, consumerism, and coworkers, and how the three are related. It’s an examination of the decisions we make regarding work, and the rewards and incentives that come with this work—the things for which we sacrifice. I’m going to link those competing and related parts of our lives to the role our ego plays in leading us to make our daily decisions. This book is a suggestion that we should each know our worth and think of the things we dedicate our precious hours towards, and then intentionally decide whether those things are worth our efforts. Once we do that, we can be assured of the fact that we are grounded and balanced, and ready to be effective at our best work. We can stop being reactive and more precisely and effectively dedicate our efforts to our mission and to making our corner of the world a little bit better.

We each have a duty to be good to others, with good defined according to a universal and objective standard which I’ll describe later in this book. In order to live our lives in pursuit of that duty we need to enable our best decisions and no one can do that for us; only we can control our own egos. Once we are able to control our egos, we’ll be able to act with grounded calmness, building for the long term instead of taking for the short term. Our long-term successes are what will define and give reason to the course of our lives.

Short-term thinking is the extraction of the maximum amount of value from ourselves and the humans around us, for a short-term benefit. Long-term thinking is building capability, not for immediate extraction of value but for the enduring health of the systems in which we live and work.

I’ve worked in blue-collar and white-collar industries for more than three decades and led teams for more than 20 years. My journey in manufacturing, food service, government, banking, and the military has led to some insights on these concepts and I’ve decided that now is my time to share them. This book is a suggestion about the need to harness and control our ego, and a plan for doing so. The concepts here are going to revolve around mindset, because data is good but without mindset data is just noise. I’m going to present some choices and a cycle of steps for harnessing the ego, and I hope you’ll think about how your own journey applies to those choices and steps. Since you’re the only person who can change your life, it’s then up to you to apply this cycle of ego management in a sufficiently life-altering way.

This book is a conversation between you and me as we sit at a patio table in my backyard and enjoy some drinks. It starts with my motivations for writing this, and why I’m so passionate about these concepts. I’ll then describe the traits that make a person both grounded and effective in the workplace, and we’ll meet some fictional employees at a fictional company, facing a type of dilemma that is very real. We’ll spend a little time on the concept of leadership before examining each step of the cycle of ego management. I’m writing about a few topics but tried to make each section of this book supportive of, and dependent on the other sections in hopes that together they paint a picture of a life (your life) lived with balance and in service to others. I appreciate the gift of your valuable time and mental energy as we take this journey together.

¹ Kennedy, Kelly, New research links Iraq dust to ill soldiers, USA Today, 2 June 2014,

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/06/02/lung-study-va/9771237/

1

Encouragement

We’re sitting at a patio table in my backyard in America’s Midwest on a warm spring afternoon. We’re watching my dogs as they take turns chasing birds, squirrels, and each other. The days are still short, and the sun is already starting to set, its light fractured by the branches of the Norway spruce trees that seem to have miraculously appeared between us and the sun. You’re enjoying your drink of choice, and I’ve just poured myself a glass of bourbon. It seems like we’re miles away from anything digital, and our little corner of the world is at peace. The ghost of the German-Swiss poet, author, and painter Hermann Hesse is with us, and since his list of people to haunt is relatively short, he’s graciously committed to sharing this journey with the two of us. Perhaps he’ll share some wisdom here and there, throughout this conversation; I know he’s grateful that you read Siddhartha in high school.

The three of us are having a conversation about our past and present challenges. We’re strangers; we’re having a friendly conversation but I’m not (yet) your friend, or your coworker, or your older brother. I’m not anyone who would be naturally inclined to give you unsolicited advice that would in turn need to overcome the Well, yeah but… walls you create for yourself or that others tell you exist in order to diminish and control you. We’re strangers, having a conversation about past and present challenges, and I’m about to present some approaches for life in a distinct tone of, Your mission, should you choose to accept it. Before I do that, we’re going to acknowledge some things.

Acknowledgement of our challenges will lead us to acceptance, and acceptance will lead to properly categorizing them instead of letting those challenges capture and determine the rest of our life stories. This conversation in my backyard is the sincerest form of personal encouragement I can provide. We’re not sitting in a Parisian café, discussing philosophy and its link to your individual journey in this chaotic world. We’re not sitting in a Silicon Valley coffee shop, discussing data science and its impact on your life as an employee and consumer. We’re in the Midwest and in the tradition of farmers communicating life lessons through short stories we’re going to talk about the ego’s impact on the way that we navigate through life. We’re preparing you for a journey you will take as an individual but that will also positively impact many people around you.

This is my first gentle and friendly admonishment for you—you should know your worth and you should act on that knowledge. You should know you are capable of being more than a mindless consumer. You are more than your credit score or your credit card. Regardless of your past and the situations you had to overcome and might still be struggling with, you are capable of taking the power required to have good impacts on others through your intentional, people-focused actions.