Being an Independent Thinker by Thinking of Others

By Miguel A. Ornelas S.

Throughout the ages people have used ancient scripture, made reference to the words of past queens and kings or have attempted to validate their claims by documenting bits and pieces from recognizable authority figures to support their ideas and writings. I believe that to a high degree it is done to give their perspective validity. In a deeper sense it may potentially be used to corner the reader to a predetermined train of thought. You see every book I read and each topic I researched had what I interpreted as a biased representation of facts. The author or writer seemed to lead and tailor their writing to their way of thinking; how they viewed life, which in the grand scheme of things that is why people write. I am doing neither and desire to have you be the judge. In the process of putting this book together I sought input from various people as I was getting close to finalizing this project but out of respect to all that will purchase and read this material I reserve the crediting and discrediting of the material to be left in your hands. I took on this endeavor as a ‘bucket list’ item but along the way I began to feel obligated to share some insight, my insight on the many topics that I will be touching on throughout the book but the more I began to read up on and write about the clearer the message that I was to deliver became. My wish is that you open your mind and take what is been read, what is being talked about and what is being seen and regardless of the person writing, saying or doing those things, you take it in. Reason with it. Seek to understand it. Once you’ve done that form your own conclusion. After all it is your life, your thoughts and your beliefs. The idea behind what I have written is that you expand your belief system to accept things that resonate with your own thoughts because there is only one you in this universe and my wish is that you become the best you that you can be by being the only person that sets limits to your belief system. May your life be that of continuous growth.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Aug 20, 2020
• ISBN: 9781728369419

Book preview

BEING AN

INDEPENDENT

THINKER BY

THINKING

OF OTHERS

MIGUEL A. ORNELAS S.

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© 2020 Miguel A. Ornelas S.. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 08/20/2020

ISBN: 978-1-7283-6942-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-6940-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-6941-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020914631

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and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the

views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

NKJV

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version.

Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

CONTENTS

Author’s Note

Leadership Responsibility

Family, Friends, And Acquaintances

Things To Share: Wisdom

Recognizing Dependency Through Independence

Uniquely You

Equilibrium

The Need To Lead

The Leader In You

About The Author

AUTHOR’S NOTE

T hroughout the ages, people have used ancient scriptures, referred to the words of past queens and kings, or attempted to validate their claims by documenting bits and pieces from recognizable authority figures to support their ideas and writings. I believe that to a high degree, it is done to give their perspective validity. In a deeper sense, it may potentially be used to corner the reader to a predetermined train of thought. You see, every book I read and topic I researched had what I interpreted as a biased representation of facts. The author or writer seemed to lead and tailor their writing to their way of thinking, that is, how they viewed life.

In the grand scheme of things, that is why people write. I am doing neither. I desire to have you be the judge. In the process of putting together this book, I sought input from various people as I was getting close to finalizing this project, but out of respect to all who will purchase and read this material, I reserve the crediting and discrediting of the material to be left in your hands. I took on this endeavor as a bucket-list item, but along the way, I began to feel obligated to share some insight, my own, on the many topics I will be touching on throughout the book. But the more I began to read up on and write about, the clearer the message I was to deliver became.

My wish is that you open your mind and take what has been read, what is being talked about, and what is being seen, and regardless of the person writing, saying, or doing those things, you take it in. Reason with it and seek to understand it. Once you’ve done that, form your own conclusions. After all, it is your life, thoughts, and beliefs. The idea behind what I have written is that you expand your belief system to accept things that resonate with your own thoughts because there is only one you in this universe. My wish is that you become the best you that you can be by being the only person who sets limits to your belief system. May your life be that of continuous growth.

LEADERSHIP RESPONSIBILITY

A lbert Einstein advised, Try to become not a man of success, but try rather to become a man of value. What is our purpose in life? I am sure that at one time or another, you may have asked yourself that same question. That question is the main reason I chose to write this book. Interestingly enough, no one seems to precisely agree why people do things. Many will say that there are two motives for doing something: a good motive that benefits all and the real motive. Motives matter.

So why am I writing this book? Because I feel like I have to. I really don’t know why, but ever since I hit maturity years, I felt the need. Yes, it has taken me forty-plus years to mature. I think many at work and my wife at home may not share that opinion. For many times, my wife has said that it is better late than never. One of my wife’s iconic reminders to me is to wise up before it’s too late. Or to put in her own words, "No vaya ser que de verde te me pases a podrido." John Luther observed,

Natural talent, intelligence, a wonderful education—none of these guarantee success. Something else is needed; the sensitivity to understand what other people want and the willingness to give it to them. Worldly success depends on pleasing others. No one is going to win fame, recognition, or advancement just because he or she thinks it’s deserved. Someone else has to think so too.

Now I am not saying that this book will bring me worldly success, but through the years, several leaders have impacted me, and as I have learned from them, I have also shared the little I know with others. Writing this book is a gesture of gratitude to everyone and everything that has impacted me. I am very much like you: I have met people, had experiences, and felt emotions that have left a mark—though whether those marks were positive or negative is up for debate.

I heard once that one can learn from both the good and the bad. The good teaches us what to do; the bad teaches what not to do. Either way, it can all be translated into knowledge and in turn be used to influence others in a positive way. I feel it appropriate to reflect back on what people have been telling us for ages, that is, there is no failure except for those who no longer keep trying. There is never final and complete defeat except from that which comes from within.

Nothing is truly unsurmountable once we have clearly identified our inherent strengths. As you continue to read this book, you will see a reoccurring theme, to be you. Not the simple and mundane you, but the very best you that you can be. You are no better or less than anyone else. What makes you uniquely you is what you’ve done and who you’ve become based on the many events that have transpired in your life.

I am not a writer, which may become apparent as you dive into this book, but I do enjoy writing. I believe the biggest incongruence between a writer and someone like myself is the organization of thoughts. I am not a very organized person; this writing is proof positive of this. Oddly enough, for the longest time, I saw myself as an organized person. But then I met my wife, who showed me what a disciplined and organized person is really like. I am not one of them. I have several things I will be sharing in this book, but the organization of my thoughts will at times be hard to follow. Just bear with me. When it is all said and done, I believe you will end up finding meaning in what I have written.

I believe it is important to know a little bit about everything. Once you know a little about a lot, whatever thoughts you have will have more merit. There will be more meat behind them bones. Your opinions will carry more weight, and your perspective will make a more resounding impact when others hear it. Your thoughts will create your feelings, which most of us translate into actions. If all those are firing in alignment, like a well-oiled machine, then whatever the outcome, good or bad, it will be a reflection of the real you.

Everything that materializes depends on your thoughts. Your thoughts alone will guide you by keeping you in check; they will establish order and congruency in your life. So be aware of your thoughts. Let the thoughts be yours. Be in control of your thoughts. Now I am definitely not saying that I will be giving you what you want or that you will find the meaning of your life in what I have written, but as you progress through this book, I hope that somehow you will have a light bulb turn on and be able to acknowledge the value you hold based on the set of circumstances you’ve had in your life.

There is only one you. Once you grasp the significance in that fact, I hope you will see everything that happens to you as an opportunity to live, grow, share, and develop further. If this book does nothing for you, which I doubt, then it is what it is. But if it does, more power to you. Just go with it. Maybe deep within the hidden passages of this book there will be a magic answer that lights up the spark you have been waiting on to take initiative and find the drive to pursue your dreams. I can tell you that most of what I will be writing about is what I have taken to heart from the various interactions I’ve had with other people and the many books I have read throughout my lifetime. In essence, this book is a summary of the many thoughts and ideas that other people have researched and written about that have resonated with me. There were many other thoughts and ideas that I just let go. They made little to no sense to me, so I let them go.

Now to clarify, nothing I have read has changed who I am or taken out the uniqueness of my own thoughts. I have, however, become less stubborn in thinking that my way of thinking and being is the only way of thinking and being. What I share are my thoughts and perceptions. The experiences I have been exposed to have made me who I am for these first forty-plus years. After all, life is a learned process. It is much like the end product in an assembly line. Let life be the end product; instead of worrying about it, focus on the process. If the process is right, your life will be a guaranteed success.

We all have talents. Let me repeat that: we all have talents. When we find something in our lives that really drives us, then it is our responsibility to do something about it. Never lose focus of the things that matter in your life.

Think back to when you first met your spouse. Use that thought to bring things into perspective each time you speak to each other now. Are you validating each other’s feelings? Are you emotionally invested in your spouse’s well-being? Are you as cordial with each other as you were when you were courting?

When you know what drives you, take action. If you don’t, your life will not change. Or if it does, it may change in a way that you do not desire. Peter Drucker, the father of modern management, said,

The great mystery isn’t that people do things badly but that they occasionally do a few things well. The only thing that is universal is incompetence. Strength is always specific. Nobody ever commented, for example, that the great violinist Jascha Heifetz probably couldn’t play the trumpet very well.

Remember when Michael Jordan left the NBA to pursue his baseball career? Ever wonder why we don’t buy baseball cleats that carry Michael Jordan’s logo on them but are quick to go after his Air Jordans?

Sometimes adversity can work in our favor. Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves and using the challenges we face as excuses, we can accept these situations and try to make the most of them. That’s how we all develop resilience and character. The more that others or ourselves challenge us, the more prevalent our strengths will become. Something I have noticed about Mother Nature is that the more that we intentionally or unintentionally do things that hurt her, the more natural beauty and wonder she gives us.

Human character is much like that. The more we expose it to annihilation, the more we reveal that which is indestructible. Henry Ford said, Failure is the only opportunity to begin again more intelligently. We are adaptable creatures, and if it is important enough for us, we can get a little bit better at virtually anything. There is a saying in Spanish, "El cuerpo se acostumbra a todo menos a no comer." We seem to transform ourselves, but what looks like a transformation to others is actually our acceptance of things that can never be transformed—our talents! We don’t change. We adapt to our environments and adjust our approaches to others, but we don’t change. We simply accept our talents and refocus our lives around them.

We, in essence, become more self-aware. I am a firm believer that if real desire instead of envy motivates you, you will have much greater self-control. We are all faced with conflicting desires. Some call it the conscious versus the subconscious; others refer to it as the good and the bad. Essentially all is derived from our thoughts. Our unique, personal, and focused integrity will be the deciding factor that will determine which one of those desires will prevail. Thoughts and desires are neither good nor bad. It is what you do with them, the action you take, that will impact those around you and sway the balance one way or the other.

If a common purpose for all is to add value to one another, would it not make sense to surround yourself with people who are better than you? My mom used to tell me, Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres. Past rulers agreed that the first method for estimating the ruler’s intelligence is to look at the men with whom they’d surround themselves with. Surrounding yourself with other talented people does not mean you wish to be like them. They are who they are, and you are you.

Do not envy another person’s title, rank, status, possessions, abilities, relationships, or whatever else is out there that may be causing friction within you or causing some type of hate and discontent because you are not measuring up. That lust is the sure road to a definite state of discontent and out-of-control behavior. It will prevent you from really being you. You will fail to live up to the best you that you can be, which is the ultimate purpose of our unique lives. Instead look at your real heart and soul, ask it what it truly desires, and take responsibility to go after it and go get it. Remember, you are no better than or worse off than anyone else. You are just uniquely you. Go get it. Then you will be fulfilled and enjoy what you have. Sidney Howard said that one half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it.

What role are we to play on this plane? Yes, the questions will continue on as you get into this book, so just get used to it. To be in control of your life means that you see what is needed and take action. You are making your vision a reality, as opposed to taking whatever life brings you. We make life difficult because we humans tend to want things we really don’t need. We come with a need for attachments that don’t exist in the natural environment. Because we desire, some are addicted to and actually crave certain types of satisfaction in ways that are inherently really dissatisfying, shallow, and ultimately unhealthy. The thing is that it does not have to be this way.

We all possess the ability to liberate ourselves from these difficulties that plague our convoluted minds. We need to clear ourselves of these unfulfilling desires. The way we realize this liberation and freedom from such cravings is through knowledge, our understanding of what is happening around and within us. If we are able to detach from egoistic needs and wants, it will lead us to a compassionate life of virtue, wisdom, and meditation. I do not want to get too philosophical or base my opinions on theories, but I do want to emphasize and introduce to you a broad spectrum of thinking. Within that structure, you take what makes a resounding thump within you and just go with it. You have one life to live, and for it to be your life, you have to have control of you. You have to know what you want and what truly makes you happy.

James Madison said, We have staked the whole future of the American civilization, not upon the power of government, far from it. We have staked the future … upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves, according to the Ten Commandments of God.

This book is not about the belief in God or politics but will say that for either of those extremes, I believe any sort of constitution that causes people to rely on government and less on themselves is the worst thing any government can do for the very people it is professing to assist. The setting up of rules within a community that of and in itself creates its own need for the people is not compassion or organization. It is its complete opposite, exploitation and chaos. We have been led to believe and act in a way that has created a dependency on others to tell us what to do and how to act. We’ve come accustomed to being told what is right and what is wrong, as if the naïveté of our being is contingent upon existing within someone else’s predetermined parameters. I especially liked Thomas Pairie’s idea, Society in every state is a blessing, but Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one.

We have established a need for formal government because of our own irresponsible duty and failure within us to govern ourselves. We all know what is right and what is wrong, but it is much easier to do things we know are wrong but have the authority from others to do anyway, much like our right to not do something that we know we ought to but can’t be made to do it by the powers that be. Enlightenment gives us the ability to know what is going on around us and within us to better assist in adding value to others. If we continue to be as we are, we will continue to be deficient in perceiving and understanding others’ rights. We will continue to misunderstand our overall commitment to engage in partnerships and collaborations but instead build communities thriving with competition and on a greater scale of irresponsibility.

There are lots of opinions on how to live righteously, all varying in approach as varied as our society is in religious preference. What I’ve come to accept is that we need to know and be able to control, set limits, to our desires. Be yourself. If you’re always striving to achieve a success that someone else defines, I think you’ll always be frustrated. Somebody will say that you were great or that you were successful, but ultimately you’ll know it’s an empty success if it weren’t something that came from you. John Wooden defined success this way, Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.

What does all that mean? Never give up on your dreams. If it is important to you, then it is important enough for you to pursue it. If not, are you ready for and prepared to wake up and face that unfulfilled reality? If not, the solution is to make it happen. It is about taking action, but rightful action, which has come to materialize due to insightful thought. There is a saying that goes something like, Too soon old, too late wise—we often learn from our mistakes and excesses … often too late to undo the damage we have done. A Chinese proverb says, If you are planning for one year, grow rice. If you are planning for twenty years, grow trees. If you are planning for centuries, grow men.

Why are you the way you are? Why do you think and analyze the things you analyze and think about? How should you put to use what you know? The answers to these questions are as varied as our personalities. Information does not necessarily mean or translate into power. It does, however, have the potential to bring about power. Being knowledgeable and knowing how things work should invoke action within you, which will make you move. There is always movement in our lives. This means you are either moving forward in life or backward—either growing or dying. There is no standing still.

Nothing is absolute. It is all based on perspective and, yes, opinion. In life, we are looking for the right answer, but there is none. Everything is relative rather than absolute. Make note of this point and keep in mind that you can only control yourself, and when you do that well, you will do well with others. Your interactions with others matter a great deal, so don’t depreciate, degrade, or belittle them.

I titled the chapter Leadership Responsibility for a reason. It introduces a wide array of concepts and ideas, all of which can be commonly derived to the least common denominator, which is an opinion, which is the offspring of a thought. Any action taken as a result of that thought brings about a set of consequences, which are principled to take responsibility over. Choose your words carefully. Well-chosen words can make a message memorable. Keep in mind that what you say is often competing with hundreds of other communications for people’s attention. It