Some Organized Chaos: (Poetry and Such)

By Tumbleweed

Well probably the best way to describe this book but I guess is by saying that these are my recovery poems or poetry written during that process. They are my overcoming trauma and alcoholism and me picking up the pieces of what was at the time my broken life. The poems here helped me get through that tough year, they helped me to become myself again. I selected these ones special and gathered them all here to share with you. I worked hard at putting this book together, not only because it is my first book but also because all the poems here are very special to me. They are what helped bring this dead man back to living his life. I enjoy them and I hope you do to.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Aug 9, 2023
• ISBN: 9798823012485

Tumbleweed

Tumbleweed currently resides in Eastern Oregon with his family. He loves spending time with them or being out and enjoying nature. He loves the being in the woods or at a river somewhere. He says the natural world around us has a healing energy, so he always prefers to have a mountain view within eyesight. Tumbleweed has been writing poetry pretty much his whole life, he has always been the quiet type finding his voice in his writings. He says it’s the only way he can stay sane in this crazy world, that writing poetry is his best way of restoring balance to bring peace to life. He claims poetry is how he heals himself from all of life's troubles and stresses, that to it is the best way to unwind and relax the mind.

Book preview

© 2023 Tumbleweed. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse  08/09/2023

ISBN: 979-8-8230-1249-2 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-8230-1248-5 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

1 | Crestfallen

2 | Fatherhood

3 | Journeying

4 | Fragments of Thought

5 | The Best Water I’ve Ever Had

Notes

Index of Titles and First Lines

Dedicated to Norman and Marjorie Fechtig

And for my sons: Garth, Wolfgang, and Ozzy

The only time they ever seem to listen

Is when they read.

To most, my voice trails off, easily ignored,

But my pen does the deed,

And sadly it seems that I am only heard through my written word.

Maybe that’s why my spirits dampen.

1

Crestfallen

Anger (I Am)

44292.png

I am the storm that wakes you from your sleep.

I am the rain that leaks in and drips down.

I am the silence and the shadows that creep.

I am the lightning striking out all around.

I am the thunder lashing out as I weep.

I am your fear that’s rising, changing smiles to frowns.

I am the nightmare that’s keeping you awake.

I am all that is real in a world that’s now fake.

Addiction

44292.png

I am a slave to myself,

            To my basic desires,

                        A primal lust.

I struggle to control my urges, myself.

            Still, my vices win;

                        The strongest ones prevail.

The animal that lives within emerges,

            Comes alive savage with desire, lust,

                        Knowing and getting what it wants.

My beast has been free for so long.

            I struggle to regain control.

                        It is proud, selfish with its pleasures.

No Longer Sure of Who I Am

44292.png

No longer sure of who I am,

I once thought I was quite the man.

But now it seems I’m not so sure.

I’m in need of help, seeking a cure,

Asking for advice or even a helping hand.

It’s time for me to relearn what I once thought was right.

I’m tired of fighting; I want peace now in life.

I know the problems that I must fix,

But it’ll take time, for change isn’t quick.

And so, my son, I ask for your forgiveness

Because without you I am nothing, perhaps even less.

All the things I so wrongly knew

Led to all the bad habits that I used to do.

So I’ll be your teacher and a much better dad

To make your life better, hoping it never gets this bad.

This Sinking Ship

44292.png

I seek forgiveness

More so from myself than from anyone else.

I’m still haunted by my past actions,

The ones that consume me with regrets.

I cannot stop myself.

I turn my emotions inward.

My hate fills me with stress, rage,

The kind that feels beyond my control.

I am adrift in a sea of my own thoughts and worries,

With my fears being the storm into which I’m sailing.

Lost within myself with my vessel also sinking,

My ship taking on water too fast for me to bail out.

I, the captain of my own thoughts, now pay for my ignorance,

Fighting hard now to right all these wrongs

Before it becomes too late.

I struggle on alone, fearful of my fate.

The Man in the Mirror

44292.png

Who is that there looking back at me?

How could that possibly be me?

Is that how I really look?

Is this how the rest of the world sees me?

This thing I see looking back at me—

Surely that cannot be