Along the Shore: Strategies for Living with Grief

Grief is a devastating emotion, leaving its mark on each of us. We struggle with loneliness and exhaustion, unable to cope with our daily lives. Reflecting on the changes to our lives, we discover the courage and strength to move forward, often with the help of others. We develop methods to continue with our unique journeys through life.
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Along the Shore is a collection of personal and touching strategies by thirty-eight people dealing with their grief at the loss of a loved one. They share their insights, along with their sorrow and their hope, as they reach out to others who are also attempting to move forward. It is the authors’ wish that we can manage grief’s control while remembering and honoring those whom we have lost.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Orange Blossom Publishing
• Release date: Jul 11, 2023
• ISBN: 9781949935820

Book preview

One More Day

One more day,
can I have one more
to hold his hand, 
next to my heart?

One more day
to tell my love
he’s part of me, 
my whole life long.

One more day
to remember much, 
his gentle smile
and warm, strong arms. 
One more day, 
not much to ask.

But if I can’t have
one more day, 
please, dear God, 
take care of him
until our days
are joined again.

Introduction

There is a parable I remember from my high school French class. A young mother is grieving the death of her young son. Devastated, she prays to God to return the boy to her arms. God agrees to do so, but only if the mother can find a house in the village where death has not claimed a family’s loved one.

The woman travels from home to home, telling of her mission and hoping this will be the house where her pain will be lifted. The villagers realize this cannot be, as no home is without grief. Rather than turn the woman away, they embrace her, and tell of the memories of their mothers, fathers, sons and daughters and spouses no longer with them. They know the torment the mother is experiencing and share their manner of dealing with it.

At the end of the parable, the woman has spoken to all in the town. Her task finished, she prays again to God. She will continue to mourn her son, acknowledging that God could not grant her plea. Instead, He answered her with the comfort and support of her fellow townspeople. God had given her the ability to live by showing her through the empathy of others who had developed ways to deal with grief.

It has been over three years since my husband, Frank, died. We were married for twenty-eight years. I go on with my life, some days better than others. I can attest to the loneliness, that feeling of exhaustion at the end of the day, and the dread for the start of the next. It was through the love of family, friends, and yes, strangers who reached out that I am able to emerge as myself again. They spoke of how they managed to overcome grief, their strategies that made a difference.

The following memoirs share similar insights. Grief does not discriminate but places its mark on all of us. It is my hope that as you read these stories, you will feel the empathy reaching out to you from each author. Just as the young mother learned that while grief may exist, others by sharing their strategies help us to live outside of grief’s control. And with that power, we remember and honor those whom we have lost.

-Cheryl

Grief, an Ocean: In Memory of Thomas Patrick Reilly

Kathryn Reilly

Grief is an ocean: always there, calm or tumultuous, vast and deep. However, the more we stand before it, then bravely enter it, the more we begin to see its purpose. If we look into the ocean, we can see the beautiful, innumerable life it supports—such life are the memories of our l oved ones.

I’ve learned that grief exists perpetually, but its waves often change. New grief consumes us with the loss, the emptiness of space our loved one brightened; it brings darkness instead of light. Combatting this darkness required sharing memories of my loved one. I needed to ask others to listen to my stories because many people thought talking about his loss would make me sadder. Realizing I had a million moments to share, and hearing the moments of others, encouraged me to realize that his life was lived and valued. The more I spoke of my memories and allowed myself to remember in quiet moments alone, the more the darkness receded; my tumultuous ocean calmed. I began to feel the joy of the memories created together.

In the newness of loss, many triggers brought difficult emotional responses: favorite songs or menu items or books. Tears would cascade, and I wondered how people survived. For me, it was important to sit with that sadness and acknowledge it. Slowly, I understood grief marks the love you have for others. My tears testified to the many moments shared; grief is an important testament to the significance of others in our journey. Eventually, I listened to my loved one’s favorite songs with smiles instead of sobs.

In the beginning, I wanted to keep everything. New grief correlated his things with him. They sat, for months, in boxes in the attic or garage because they weren’t items I’d wear or use. One day, I knew I had to let them go: they were not him, and they cluttered my path forward. I kept a few things that I would use, that were wrapped in memories: his favorite books, the hats he would wear that I enjoyed wearing too, a notebook of his thoughts. The rest found a purpose helping others.

Honoring my loved one’s legacy became important because I realized while most of the world would never know him, I did and that was enough. The hardest lesson of my grief journey was wanting the world to stop and acknowledge its loss, but it kept spinning: people went to work, they planned vacations. Life didn’t stop because his did. Honoring his importance to me on a park plaque bench, with a tree planted each year in memorandum, and a charitable donation in his name lightened my heart. I hope people sit upon the bench, hike beside the trees, receive the donations and think This man was loved because that is the truth I wish the world to know.

Tsunamis rarely happen now. Calmer, clear waters abound, and I wade into them, letting the memories surround me.

By day she teaches; by night Kathryn spins speculative tales resurrecting goddesses and ghosts. Her rescue mutts hear all the stories first. Find poetic adventures in Shadow Atlas, Last Girls Club, Blink Ink and fiction in Seaside Gothic, Tree and Stone, Elly Blue Publishing and Oddity Prodigy Productions. Twitter: @katecanwrite

Discovering the Meaning of Grief Through Creative Expression

Al Dickenson

Throughout her life, my mother was a prolific artist. While she tried her hand at