Finding Healing in Times of Grief and Loss
By Silas Henderson, Linus Mundy, Lisa Irish and
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Finding Healing in Times of Grief and Loss - Silas Henderson
CHAPTER I
Grieving With a Grateful Heart
By Lisa Irish
How does one take a deep breath when the clenching pain of loss wraps around your chest? How does one see the blue sky or hear the morning birds greet the rising sun when all one can see or hear is emptiness? A grieving heart gets lost in a land of denial and loneliness and cannot reconnect, or even imagine, the experiences of love that were sown long before. Those moments of intimacy, of connection, and of life together are no longer strands of love that created this specific relationship. They become sources of pain, reminders of what is missing.
Janet deeply missed Tom, her husband of 42 years. She could not, and on some days would not, imagine life without him. She chose to ask for help, though, and joined a bereavement support group at our hospital. She faithfully attended week after week, to share her feelings and to listen to new friends in the group. On the last night, after a gentle collage-making activity, she said, I just figured something out. All this time I have been coming here and talking about Tom, I have been honoring him. How grateful I am he was part of my life.
Working your way through
Janet’s sadness was not immediately transformed that night. She still hurt, deeply, from Tom’s absence. Yet something shifted when she opened her heart to gratitude, when she began to consider the gift of this relationship as she moved forward in her life. When seeds of gratitude are planted, we become open to another point of view. The devastating experience of loss is still present; but with time, awareness, and nurturing, a grateful heart beats within the broken places and brings healing. The memory of our loved one becomes a source of life, not just a reminder of loss. Read on as we highlight attitudes and actions that might be helpful in cultivating grateful grieving.
Saying Thank you.
Most of us were trained as little children to say these two words, and we often repeated them without thinking. As adults, though, we might bring more awareness to the thank you
opportunities in our daily life. The beauty of creation or the kindness of others all provide opportunities for giving thanks.
Cultivating this habit can help us practice gratitude when facing our loss, as