Banter

By Hamid Khosravanipour

A young frivolous boy in high school suddenly becomes world famous after he seals an hourly spot on a local radio show.  

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hamid Khosravanipour
• Release date: Jul 22, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215140482

Book preview

Banter

Hamid Khosravanipour

February 11, 2015

© Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data 2015

Change is good but it doesn’t always work out, The good thing is you tried something new -Hamid Khosravanipour

Table Of Contents

Table Of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3: Like a Classic Conversation

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 1

I still can’t believe she said yes when I asked her out to the dance. Some guy told me somewhere if you never ask for anything the answer is always no. Someone needs to shake that man’s hand for giving me awesome advice like that. I’m going places tomorrow and I have the most gorgeous girl in school to prove it.

I button up everything in front of the bathroom mirror. Took some extra time to iron out every corner of my fine linen coat for the best presentation. Never do this with your clothes on. But I’m in really big rush right now so don’t worry about it.  Mom tells me I look like a hot pressed suite walking out the door. The ginger cologne makes everything smell better outside as I step into the car because I love wearing things that feel edible. If we get hungry she can bite me later.

That reminds me, there’s this men’s perfume department in the Sephora store no one at my school knows about. I go there sometimes and honestly it’s not for everyone. When my dad wears it the dogs eyes turn red like he’s pissed off at something. I don’t blame him.  Second hand smoking can make me really angry too sometimes. I fill up like hot air ready to scream at somebody for just standing next to me. But anyway,

So this guy is trying to tell me it’s the best thing that’s ever happen to him, which is why he wants me to live and breathe in it, but more for the sake of the sale. When he offers me some free hand samples he pulls out a strip of fortune cookie paper from his envelop shape pocket to pump pussy perform all over the corners then wants to know what it smells like. Doesn’t that feel smooth he says?

These tossers can be desperate sometimes. You can’t blame the bastard for a 2.15 an hour wage without commission. But anyway, the important thing is she will be sniffing this shit up like a vacuum cleaner. Women are tactile like that. It’s an important thing to know if you’re a guy getting paired up to go somewhere. You can put that in your back pocket if you like. It gets the job done.

She’s getting ready upstairs like true hot chick who loves to keep her date waiting. I relax on comfortable cabin furniture and try not to ask the man of the house many questions. Being in the same room with her dad makes me feel standoffish. I don’t really know the guy but there’s not a whole lot to say. He already understands that’s we’re leaving soon. What else would he want to know? I gander around the room and can tell that every picture on the wall is made with photo glossy paper. The frames are sealed in stained oak. Family portraits and fishing trips. Every picture. When he leans forward in the chair his elbows crush those muscular knees. He looks ready to crawl into the television. Maybe I should grab his heels if football fantasy vacuums him completely. His long limbs make the tall ceiling feel so short. She might be a few minutes he mummers with his eyes frozen on the football game. In my head, I want to say well that’s usually the case with ladies. They always need to procrastinate to compensate for their readiness. ESPN flashes a touchdown over his forehead. The settling silence shifts my eyes toward the dog starring at me through the window with ravenous breathe fogging up the glass. Do you ever let him come inside, I ask? He says that rascal is watching out for the bad kids. Isn’t that right Archer. This is a pretty quiet neighborhood I say,  are people giving you any kind of trouble?

I’m so bad at talking to adults and I’m not doing anything to help make this weak conversation more conversational. Her dad is probably afraid of me because I have a penis in my pants.

Upstairs, I hear footsteps rattle the floor like a tap dancing lesson. At the bottom of the staircase I can only see her tiny feet rolling down the stares. As they come closer my eyes look at the barrette buckled in her hair. It holds everything up tight like ban of horses just to show me the goods on her face. I mean, it really is the best smile. That gorgeous petite bahhh I’m looking at is so good with a dress. Hope she never takes it off. She should wear that dress like a uniform to school everyday because it’s that amazing. This is when a man really needs to step up his game because everything from here is going to be heavy lifting on my part. It’s what a guy is supposed to do.

On the way to school I pretend to reach into my jacket to whip out a captains hat to make myself feel empowered about the beginning of the night.  Of course it’s not until 5 minutes into the date I realize that the stupid corsage is still sitting in my refrigerator door at home. You hope that she won’t ask me about it as we’re driving to the dance. I really hate flowers by the way and that bracelet thing would probably die before someone sticks its back in a food ventilator.  One time I forgot to water the plants for a week and my dad shits all over me like I let the dog die or something.

Sitting graciously in her seat with one leg on top the other she reaches into the pockets of her braw then pops out a bottle of birth control from under them. I look over my shoulder wandering what’s all this for, and she winks and laughs like a musical comedy. She says, I just need to get ready for later. I promise this is going to be good fun. Holyshit, this is hard for me because it’s a boner.

Chapter 2

Behind the long white stubby table

Trever dips his eyes between the cracks of floating breast around the silver greek statue running red cool-aide down its back. He captures himself floating over the eyes of beautiful women expressively demanding a face fuck through the lose buttons in their bras. He probably thinks, when in Rome.

A search light strobes around the room aimlessly like a knight circus rubbing against my eyelids.  I pull her by the sweaty hands and carry them over to where people hold each other. She pours her face across my shoulder and that petite head feels super heavy on my neck. It’s like I’m giving my heavy puppy a free ride around the dog park.

I say to her, people can never smell themselves.

The mascot shadows up behind me like bed sheet hanging from a clothesline. I want to give him the heavy bag boxing drill. The room grows dark. My eyes