Rude Scrawls

By Malachi Stone

RUDE SCRAWLS is not for bluenoses, as the plain-brown-wrapper book ads in men's magazines used to say when I was a kid. It's a compendium of short stories featuring adults misbehaving in various and sundry ways. None of the characters in this anthology of modern day immorality tales are any better than they have to be, and some are quite a bit worse than they ought to be, In RUDE SCRAWLS I'm going for the kind of stories you might get if John O'Hara were living today and writing for Hustler. Enjoy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Malachi Stone
• Release date: Jul 14, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215880128

Malachi Stone

Marlon Brando on Larry King Live quoted an unknown Louisiana woman who said, "Anybody who shows his face in public is an ass." (1) Mindful of those wise words, I created the pseudonym Malachi Stone to author my novels and short stories because, as a practicing attorney in a conservative community, my natural inclination was and still is to avoid notoriety and controversy wherever and whenever possible. That being said, my secret identity affords me a perverse Zorro-like gratification. I've been writing for more than twenty years. For a three-year period I was represented by a fine literary agent (2) in Manhattan, who tried valiantly but without success to place my novels in traditional publishing. Allegedly, objections were raised to negative protagonists and explicit sex. While I am convinced those objections are groundless, I am weary of arguing the point. I'll simply let you, the readers, decide for yourselves. I have garnered many good reviews over the years. See, for example, Elizabeth White (3). Interviews of me may be found on the web, for instance, Steve Weddle, Fiona "McDroll" Johnson, Paul D. Brazill and Ian Ayres (4-7). Please feel free to post reviews of my work, good, bad, or indifferent. Only be sure to remember that most of my books, especially the later ones, are self-published without the dubious benefit of copyediting, content editing or censorship of any kind. So if you post reviews carping about bad language or finding flaws in punctuation, paragraphing or font, I frankly don't care. I'm putting these books out there for the sole reason I wrote them in the first place - to be enjoyed by readers. As my law practice has become more active recently, I have taken a sabbatical from writing but hope to resume soon. My personal and private email is: [e-mail]. I'd be delighted to hear from you!1. http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0308/02/lklw.00.html2. http://variety.com/exec/stacia-decker/3. http://www.elizabethawhite.com/tag/malachi-stone/4. http://www.spinetinglermag.com/2011/04/20/conversations-with-the-bookless-malachi-stone/5. http://imeanttoreadthat.blogspot.com/2012/01/american-banshee-by-malachi-stone.html#!/2012/01/american-banshee-by-malachi-stone.html6. https://pauldbrazill.com/2012/01/19/short-sharp-interview-malachi-stone/7. http://nigelpbird.blogspot.com/2010/09/dancing-with-myself-malachi-stone.html

Book preview

RUDE SCRAWLS

Eleventh Edition

© 2023 by Malachi Stone

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976 as amended, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the author constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property.

If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the author at: [e-mail]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

All the characters in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is coincidental. All characters in this book are over eighteen years of age.

for Maria

TABLE OF CONTENTS

BEDROOM WHISPERS

BROTHER AND SISTER

HARDASS

RAT RULE

HE’S LOOKING RIGHT AT US

HIS BISHOPRICK LET ANOTHER TAKE

NAKED STAGE FRIGHT

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

CONNECT WITH ME ONLINE

BEDROOM WHISPERS

She must have been dreaming but the dream flitted away the moment he woke her. She rolled over in bed next to her husband. Did you say something? Her throat was dry when she tried to speak. Better to whisper. Everybody was asleep, the kids’ rooms right down the hall.

Yes. I told you to take your panties off.

What time is it? she murmured. I was dead asleep.

Why do you sleep in your panties anyway? Take them off for me now.

She sighed, still heavy with sleep. Demanding, aren’t we? But she did as he said. When she had slipped them off and kicked them away under the sheets she said teasingly, Why do you sleep in your boxer shorts? What if I were to wake you up from a sound sleep in the middle of the night and tell you to take those off?

Do you want me to?

Maybe. Why should I be the only one bottomless around here?

Okay, I will. But before I take them off you’ll have to do something for me.

Hmm, I think I see where this is leading.

Do you? What I want you to do for me will be a surprise.

Oh, really? What might that be?

Just…something. Something a little bit different from what we’re used to doing. Don’t worry. You’ll like it.

Will I?

Yes. I know how your mind works. You’ll like the way it feels as soon as you start doing it.

What would feel good to me right now would be to go back to sleep. We both have to get up early for church in the morning, you know.

I know. But what I’m about to suggest will help you sleep.

Uh-huh. It just so happens I don’t need any help in that department. I’ll have you know that until you woke me up I was dreaming a very sexy dream.

About me?

Yes, if you must know, she lied. But maybe it wasn’t a lie after all. She simply couldn’t remember her dream this time, but lately she’d often awakened from a recurring dream of the two of them making love. The dream was always the same, a delicious, erotic dream where he embraced her, and his thing grew to become impossibly enormous, entering her, filling her with delight—

What were we doing?

What?

In the dream you were having. Tell me what we were doing.

"You know. It," she murmured shyly.

"It? he laughed. You certainly have a way with words, Darling. So you and I were doing it, were we?"

We were.

You must be all turned on, then, just waking up from a sexy dream like that. I’ll bet you’re all wet inside.

"What do you think? Do