Before the Dawn

By L.E. Hastings

Before the Dawn was born out of a need to try to understand the strangeness that comes right before we make choices in our lives: good or bad, small or huge determinations that can shape our world as we know it. We all walk upon a road that sometimes feels very crowded, and yet very much alone at times. Once again, author L.E. Hastings shares his personal essays, which reflect upon that overwhelming moment towards moving forward. From “Hopeless to Happiness” to “After Night Fall,” these essays show that building upon change is what happens regardless of if we show up or not, and that dawn comes to us all on this road of life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 14, 2023
• ISBN: 9781669879329

L.E. Hastings

A New England native, L.E. Hastings continues projects with his writing and working with a wide range of individuals with disabilities and in treatment with addiction behaviors along with volunteering. His spare time he enjoys his family and friends that has kept growing as the days turn into weeks and years.

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Copyright © 2023 by L.E. Hastings.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 05/27/2023

Xlibris

844-714-8691

www.Xlibris.com

853550

Special thanks to – Renée M. Nicholls

For her outstanding coaching in writing

This book is dedicated to…

people who started as strangers and ended up being part of my new tribe.

So, the call goes out. Not to blame, not to harm, not to pass judgment. But of the hope that a life isn’t lost. I’m putting out the power of prayer and faith that comes with no cost. But comes with the trust and Power that is prayer. So, I’m asking all of you who pray—all those who practice in faith to pray for those that have wandered off the path and are lost. May our light shine through the darkness of despair and bring us all home to the shores of hope, before the dawn.

-L.E. Hastings-

A Collection of Short Stories by L.E. Hastings

Preface

It happened Before

Just when you Thought

Once Before

Differences

Hopeless to Happiness

One time at the Bar

My phone was Dead

Odd or just God

How’s your Soul Today

You’re never going to Believe This

Like a great Ocean, these emotions come over Me

Schooled

After Nightfall

Poison is just the Detail

So, there I Was

Will I hear It

Remember when the Oceans Ran Dry

Failing Forward & Starting Over

Then there was None

Dawn

Acknowledgments

Preface

And just like that, we have to change. That is the essence of these short new stories. So, the story goes on and on. Sometimes quickly, sometimes not so much. Especially in these uncertain times. But in the end, we change ever so much. Like so many others, we find there comes one day—out of how many—we think, This is the end, only to be right back to that beginning, which falsely seemed so great, we thought we were living large and in charge.

Until we were not anymore. That is the ambiguous feeling of the dawn. Only after the dust settles do we realize that we’ve gone back to a negative place. Then we start thinking, How the hell did I get back here?

So, we changed. Ever so slowly as that dawn became something else. First due to the need, never the want. Finding that strength that got us through and never once thinking that it was not us alone. Always praying for an out—but changing, nevertheless.

We tend not to think our thoughts that we were right—it was just that matter that you may be wrong that can move us forward in the way we were thinking.

In the beginning, the change wasn’t so hard either, really. All we had to do was just show up. Show up and resist being dragged down to our wants and creeds at those unsettled moments of dawn, which can lead us to backtrack, like so many times before.

But here we are, just like that: —changing. The time goes by, and we start hanging out with like-minded people who are also trying to do something new while facing that dawn: changing.

Here we start to see that some are changing, and some are not. But just like that, we have to change. Or things just stay the same—never better, but not really getting worse either.

Remaining in that middle-round area can be tempting when we are facing that uncertain dawn. A lot of people just stop doing what they need and start slowly slipping back (or worse), not even growing, and allowing life to be anything but enjoyable. But there is hope. Hope to fight back against that fear.

Surrender or flight.

What a truly uncomfortable place to be, that in-between before the dawn…

-Endicott-

It happened Before

"So, it’s not any surprise that I ended up back here," he told me as he walked to the back of the room to find a chair and sit down.

The look upon my face must have reflected shock or confusion.

That or he just didn’t care.

As I started to walk toward the back of the room myself——saying Hello and How are you? and What’s new? to many and shaking a lot of hands——I found myself standing near my newfound friend in the back.

So, I had to ask him. "You told me that it was no surprise that you’re back here. I’ve been around a while and would like to know: —Do you want to be back here?"

Yes and no, he replied with some hesitation. I mean, that’s what happens to us, —right?

I guess, was my response.

You just told me you’ve been around awhile. So, isn’t that what happening when we decide to go back to the way we were living? We end up back here.

Sometimes, I replied.

"What do you mean, sometimes? Isn’t that what’s happening? We end up back here!" he said.

Well——yes and no. I looked at him and took a sip of my drink. "I just asked you: —Do you want to be back here?"

Yeah— and I told you. I don’t know.

Why, yes you did, I said. I pulled the chair next to him away from the table. I took another sip from my drink and sat down.

You don’t mind if I sit here, do you? I asked.

Suit yourself, he said, now looking at me with a confused expression.

Are you sure you’re going to hear from way back here? I asked. I don’t think I’m going to hear too well from sitting way back here. Do you? I added.

Don’t know. This is where I’ve always sat when I come here, he replied. He began looking at a small book that was in his hands.

What’s that? I asked.

"A Meeting List of all these types of groups. I can hardly figure it out. It looks like it’s written in some other language to me. But