Seeking Love

By Kimberly Taylor

Alyssa MacHandmon is sitting at her desk when her life is changed forever. She receives not only an assignment but a life she only read about in her books. For a woman like Alyssa, meeting Drake was not only scary and nerve-racking but also captivating in ways she didn’t understand. When she fell in the arms of a man on the elevator, little did she know she was falling into the hands that held the key to her happiness. After Alyssa gets over Drake’s past with the help of her best friend, Gabby, and her boss, Jessy, pushes her into a chance meeting, Alyssa learns how to find her way through life and to love again.

Standing on an elevator, thinking of his children, Drake had no clue that the next time the doors opened, his life would spin out of control. He held his breath when the prettiest woman he ever laid eyes on stepped on with him. When she got pushed and he caught her, he knew he had caught a gift. Unable to stop thinking of her made work hard and his interest in dating go down. He could still smell her scent long after he closed the car door and pulled away from the curb. With the help of his cousin Chase and the help from his mother, he realized he could not ignore these feelings he had and that he would stop at nothing to have her.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 23, 2016
• ISBN: 9781504977760

Kimberly Taylor

Kimberly Taylor lives in North Carolina where she enjoys spending time with her husband, children, and grand-children. She also enjoys the lazy days in the sun reading and writing. Kimberly is currently earning her Associate's Degree in Advertising and Graphics Design.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

51324.png

WAKING UP ISN’T the hardest thing about being alone. It’s going to bed with no one to snuggle up to; it’s the sleepless nights spent rolling around, trying to find comfort when there’s none to be found. I wake to sunny mornings with clouds in my heart and rain in my eyes. Looking at a picture on the wall or the photo on my nightstand just was not enough. To have a love beyond belief come into my life—or at least it felt like it—only to have it taken as fast as it came left me in a whirlwind, wondering if it was real … or a cosmic joke. The emotions that were never shared, the house, the kids, the raw love that never got to come alive and take a stand in the world.

But no matter what happened, I was alive and well. I was a survivor. I had to get up every morning and take life day by day—like this morning—even though I wandered through life not knowing what would come next.

Every morning, I get up and look out the window at the bright, sunny sky, reminding myself that a new day was here and that I would not be a coward and hide from the day.

Today, I did my morning routine and then headed out the door, finding the weather had turned cold and the air brisk. I went back inside to grab a coat, pleased to find the note from my mother that brought so much comfort in my times of need.

Good morning, Alyssa, a voice said as I came out and locked the door.

Hey, Gabby. How are you this morning? I said, just to be nice. I had a feeling this pretty, middle-aged woman just sat and watched out her window all day long. I didn’t know her story, but I didn’t think she watched to be nosey.

I’m doing okay. You off to work?

Yeah, I guess it’s the least I can do today. I walked over to her. I guess gracing them with my presence isn’t too much.

I guess not, she answered, giggling. Say, you haven’t tried out the new place down the road by chance, have you?

No, not yet. I thought I might stop by there this afternoon on my way home. Why? Is it any good?

Don’t know yet. Haven’t been. She got this look and then asked me the only thing I was praying she wouldn’t. Want to go with me? I could meet you here at five.

I guess so, I answered, dreading committing myself. I didn’t know if I could force myself through the doors to start with or if I could allow myself any fun. It just didn’t feel right for me to live my life to the fullest while my husband lay in a dark, cold hole.

Great. See you then. She smiled and turned to go in her house.

I walked the few blocks to the building where I work; it had fifteen floors and a lot of windows. Sitting at my desk gave me a picture of the world outside without my having to actually be there. I wasn’t a hermit by any means, but to get out there wasn’t me either. I really didn’t know where I belonged anymore.

Hey, did you hear me?

I jerked around in my chair to come face-to-face with my boss, Jessy Sassy. She owned the Times Two magazine at which I was employed as a research associate.

Sorry, I was lost in my head again.

I know. When you going to realize it’s time to stand up and shake it all off? It’s okay to let it all drop so you can breathe again.

I can’t just forget everything and act like he never existed. He was my husband, no matter if the marriage was good or not. I looked out my window while tears silently fell down my cheeks.

I know you loved him, but Alyssa, look at me. She waited for me to turn to her. Do you think Alex would want you like this? No. He would want you to live.

I just stared at her for a minute because I had confided in her about my marriage, and I wondered if we were talking about the same man.

I don’t know how to live anymore. I feel like my heart stopped beating the moment his did. I feel so … lost. How do I find direction when my life has none? My husband had dictated my life for me, so I didn’t have to think much. I wished I had learned to live the way I had wanted to live, but there was nothing I could do about it now.

I don’t know, but something has to be out there that can help. Did you go to the group I told you about? It really helped my mom after my dad died.

Yeah, I’ve gone every time they open the doors. I don’t want to be unhappy. I just don’t know how to get over this hump in my life. I put my head down on my desk but jerked it back up when I heard her sharp intake of breath.

I can’t believe it. Oh no, they didn’t.

What? Who? I looked out the window, but nothing unusual was there.

I think they just sold the top floor. I’ll be right back. She rushed out to only God-knows-where, so I started typing up my assignment, hoping to clear my mind of its troubles.

After lunch, Jessy came back in my office and plopped down in a chair in front of my desk, huffing and puffing and mumbling. I couldn’t help but laugh at the faces she made as she went on and on about something.

You okay? I asked, and she gave me a look that made me laugh again.

I can’t believe you’re laughing at a time like this.

A time like what?

You know how I have been working hard to get the money for the top floor. You know the long hours I’ve had to put in, trying to get that nut who owns the building to sell me that floor, but no. They said we had a good floor and had no reason to move, that they weren’t selling the top floor because they were holding off until their son was old enough to figured out what he wanted to do with his life. Well, they just sold it to a man in a suit who looks like he fell out of that nice, fancy helicopter of his.

What man? I didn’t hear a helicopter, I said, a little lost.

Well, he came and went and now has the top floor.

Is he their son? I asked, not knowing who they are.

No. I don’t think he is. I honestly don’t know who he is, but I know he has my floor.

I’m sorry.

For what? You haven’t done anything.

I’m sorry you’re so unhappy.

I’m not unhappy; I’m pissed. That was wrong of them.

And you don’t think this is their son?

No. From the way they sounded, their son is young.

Why don’t you find out who this guy is? Find out if he would be up to a trade—our floor for his and a little money to sweeten the deal. Maybe you can still get what you want.

That’s not bad. She thought for a minute and then shook her head. My advisers are out of town. They’re looking at the place where I want to have my wedding.

You sent your advisers to check out a place for your wedding? Most people hire a wedding planner for that when they’re getting married. I didn’t know you were.

I’m not, but you can never be too prepared with things like this. I want to buy the place so I can go back and visit whenever I want.

You could probably do that without buying it.

Yeah, but I’d have to follow their rules, and you know how I am about that. I only like my own rules. I couldn’t help my laughter. Well, it’s true.

Sorry, didn’t mean to laugh at you. It was just too funny, thinking of you following anybody’s rules. I can only imagine you in school. Now it was her turn to laugh.

But for real. I would like to have him checked out. I need someone to look into him for me. She got still for a minute, which normally meant she was thinking. With her next words, though, I didn’t know if she was thinking or not. Will you do it?

Who me? Oh no.

What? You’re good at what you do—the best by far here. Why not you?

I do land and art. I have never done anything like this. I can promise you I’ll mess up.

You’d do good. And if you do as good as I think you will, it might mean a career change and more money.

I don’t need a change or money. I really don’t want to do this. Ask Terry. He would probably do a lot better than I could.

I have a feeling this guy would open up more with a woman. He’s really cute too. Please, please, please do this for me? Please?

I don’t care how good he looks; I really don’t want to do this.

Look—I don’t want to order you, but I need someone I can trust. I’m going to ask one more time; then I will have to make it an order.

Looks like I have no choice.

Not from where I’m sitting.

You will owe me big for this. I gave her a second, and she nodded. Looks like I’m going to meet your nightmare.

Thank you so very much, she said, getting up and blowing a kiss my way as she went out my door.

I lay my head back, dreading this assignment. I’d always done research online and helped around the office. I’d never done anything like she was suggesting, and I hadn’t thought to do it until a moment ago. Could I really ask personal questions—the right questions? If I did this for Jessy—and from where I sat, I had to—she would owe me big.

By the end of the day, I was tired of sitting, and my back hurt more today than yesterday. I knew I had damaged it in the accident, but I wondered if something more was going on. I pushed the pain to the back of my mind and headed for Jessy’s office to let her know I was leaving. I could hear her on the phone before I ever reached the door, so I sat and waited for her to hang up.

I came to let you know I’m leaving.

Okay. But before you go, here are the papers on the warlock on high. She handed me a stack of papers that looked to be research done ahead of time for me.

I was grateful for it and was glad that someone did what I normally did for others. It would save me a night’s work. Thanks. This will help a lot.

I truly thank you for doing this for me.

Not like you left me a choice, I say as I left her office for the row of elevators.

I watched the numbers light up, one by one, as the elevators made their way to me. The first doors opened, but I waved them on because the elevator was packed. The next one to open was just as packed with people waiting to get home to their families or to other places. I waited a bit longer, and finally a door opened to an elevator with only one person on it. I managed a smile at the guy standing against the wall and stepped in, waiting for it to take me to the first floor. We picked up people on every floor, so many that I eventually was pushed to the back, where I was almost pressed against the man who was on the elevator when the doors opened for me. I didn’t mean to, but a couple of times I brushed against him. The last time I was pushed hard by people entering the elevator, I almost fell on my face. He grabbed me and helped me to stand right next to him. I was so close that I could smell his cologne. He smelled of a freshness that captivated me.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall into you like that.

It’s okay. I never mind catching a beautiful girl.

I didn’t have a come-back for that so I just smiled and turned my head as my heart pounded. Other than the men I worked with or the ones who worked in the supermarket, I never talked to men. It never crossed my mind to say more than a couple of polite words when needed. Even though I was viewed as a single woman again, I still felt very much married. Just because my husband was dead didn’t mean I felt that he was gone.

The doors opened on the first floor, and we all filed out. I exited the building and was covered in a cloud of smoke from a passing car. I stepped away and ran into someone’s board of a chest. Looking up, I turned red from embarrassment—it was the guy from the elevator.

Sorry again, I said. I didn’t see you there through the smoke.

Yeah, cars like that should be put away way before that point.

I giggled and pushed my hair behind my ear. Sorry I keep running into you or falling on you. I’ve never had this much trouble staying on my feet.

No problem.

I smiled and stepped around him to head home.

Do you need a ride? he asked.

No, thank you. I don’t live far. I like to walk rather than ride. This has been the truth since the accident, but he didn’t need to know the whole story. After all, he was a stranger. Even the people who knew me didn’t really know me anymore. Jessy and Gabby were the only people I had told about my husband.

Okay. Well, I guess until next time, then. Don’t fall on your way home. I would hate to never see you again. You sure you don’t need a ride? It’s getting cold.

I’m sure I can manage. I took another step away, but for some reason, I turned around. Thanks anyway.

As I said, it’s no problem. He smiled as he got into a nice car—a driver had opened the door for him. The car pulled off, and I turned to head home.

The walk wasn’t bad, but the cold weather I loved here in North Carolina hadn’t settled in yet. On my walk home, I pondered whether I should get a car. It would be nice, but could I ever drive again? Visions of the car going over the bridge that night still were very fresh in my mind, even after two years. The look on Alex’s face as he died in my arms still haunted my every move. I didn’t know if or when I would ever get over it—or if I’d ever drive again.

As I crossed the road where all the big houses were, I noticed a moving truck in one of the driveways. Nice furniture lined the walk, and the movers were picking up pieces and moving them into the house as an older lady loudly instructed them on where she wanted the pieces placed. She turned and waved before going back to the task she had her hands full with. I noticed a girl of about three playing with a baby on a blanket. The little girl had curly pigtails that hung down her back, and I could hear the baby’s laughter, even from where I stood.

I continued on my way, thinking of the plans Alex and I had made. We had planned to be married for three years while he started his business, and then we would fill the big house we bought with kids. After his death, I didn’t need all that room, so I turned the house into apartments.

I lived in the guest house now, but all of the apartments had spacious rooms and carpeting. Everyone said I rented them out way underprice, but I didn’t care. I was happy to base the rent on something I felt anyone could afford. It wasn’t like I needed the money.

I walked up my steps and bent to pick up a box I knew held my books for the month. I always looked forward to receiving the small box that brought me a well-needed escape from whatever was going on in my life. As I put my key in the lock, Gabby came out on her porch.

What time would you like to go down to Speechless tonight? she asked.

Doesn’t matter. Let me get a shower, and I’ll be ready. What’s good for you?

Let’s head that way around six. I’d like to beat the crowd and get a good table.

Sounds good. I went inside and shut the door with a sigh. I wasn’t looking forward to this evening, but I couldn’t just stay in my house either.

I took a shower and then stood in my closet to figure out what to wear. Speechless was rumored to be somewhat dressy, but being overdressed was possible. I decided on a pair of jeans, a semi-dressy red shirt, and black boots. After I was dressed, I fixed my hair—I wore it down—and applied light makeup. After adding a necklace and my hoop earrings, I looked at myself in the mirror and decided I was as good as I was going to get. I went to the picture of Alex on my wall and told my husband I loved him and gave him an air kiss. Holding back tears, I told him I wished he was here.

The doorbell rang—it was a very dressed-up Gabby.

Wow, you look completely different when you’re dressed up, I told her.

Thanks, hon, so do you. You ready?

I guess as much as I’m going to be.

Then let’s not keep them waiting.

We walked through the streets, looking at and talking about the houses around us. They were very beautiful at night, all lit up, looking like a Christmas village. I really liked the one that had a new family now living in it. As we came upon it, I stopped to admire it.

I’ve always loved that house, Gabby said.

Me too. I love how it looks so mystical—almost like it was created in a book or something. I’ll bet the inside is as beautiful as the outside.

I heard a new family just moved here from Washington. The man who bought it is freshly out of politics. Claims he doesn’t want to be part of what’s going on. He’s got his hands in a little of everything now.

Really?

Yep. My friend said he just bought a building up in town.

I wonder which building.

Gabby shrugged. I don’t know. She didn’t tell me that.

We made it to the new place just before the crowd arrived; after we were seated, people started pouring in. It wasn’t long before every table was taken and the hostess was putting people on a waiting list. A waitress came to take our order and then quickly went to another table. I looked around at the people laughing and loving life. I wondered if I would ever be there again in my life. I wanted to be. I really did. But the hurt was too raw, and the pain from losing my husband was bone-cutting. I would be glad to just get through the night without crying.

Look—they’re so packed they’re asking people to let others to sit with them, Gabby said. I wonder if they’ll ask us.

I hope not.

Just as we received our drinks, the lights went down, and the entertainment for the night started.

CHAPTER 2

51324.png

DRAKE SAT IN his living room, rocking his baby boy, as he read a book to his little girl. Since his wife had died giving birth to his son, he had taken this job gladly every night that he was home. With the new enterprise starting up and the restaurant off to a good start, he had more time to spend with his children. His mother had moved in with him to help, but he liked doing all he could for his children. He loved his wife, and although it had been a year and a half since her death, he still thought of her every day. He wanted to find someone to love who could and would love him and his children. But that was just a thought.

He dated here and there, but in the end, all they were after was his money. They never really wanted him or his children. So he decided to date but not to have anyone meet his children until he knew for sure she would stay. Twice now, his daughter had been hurt, and it was his doing. Would he ever forgive himself? Probably not.

Drake, honey, you’re going to be late for your date if you don’t leave now.

I know, Mom. I was thinking about canceling, Drake said, standing up to his full six feet.

You can’t do that. You need to keep trying. I promise you there is someone out there for you. She will come when you’re not looking.

His mother carried the baby while he took his daughter to bed.

Then tell me why I’m going? he asked as they came back out into the hallway.

Because that’s what you need to do. If you don’t get out there, then she can’t find you, silly man.

Okay, Mother. But tonight is for you, not me.

Whatever it takes. She kissed him on the cheek before heading to her room.

Drake picked his date up at five thirty so he could make it to the restaurant by six. He knew it would be packed, and though he had